This Date in History - April 1

 

No fooling around today.   All of this really happened on April 1.  

286:  EMPEROR DIOCLETIAN ELEVATES HIS GENERAL MAXIMIAN TO CO-EMPEROR WITH THE RANK OF AUGUSTUS AND GIVES HIM CONTROL OVER THE WESTERN DIVISION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE.

I wonder how many times the Western Division plays the Eastern and Central Divisions.

325:  CROWN PRINCE JIM CHENGDI, AGE 4, SUCCEEDS HIS FATHER AS EMPEROR OF THE EASTERN JIN DYNASTY.

No age requirement there.

457:  MAJORIAN IS ACCLAIMED EMPEROR BY THE ROMAN ARMY.

The majorian rules.

527:  BYZANTINE EMPEROR JUSTIN 1 NAMES HIS NEPHEW JUSTINIAN I AS CO-RULER.

Justin time.

1318:  BERWICK-UPON-TWEED IS CAPTURED BY THE SCOTTISH FROM ENGLAND.

How about Berwick-Upon-Polyester and Wool Blend?

1572: IN THE EIGHTY YEARS WAR, THE WATERGEUZEN CAPTURE BRIELLE FROM THE SPANIARDS, GAINING THE FIRST FOOTHOLD ON LAND FOR WHAT WOULD BECOME THE DUTCH REPUBLIC.

There's a Brielle in New Jersey.  I don't think this is the same one.

1789:  IN NEW YORK CITY, THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES HOLDS ITS FIRST QUORUM AND ELECTS FREDERICK MUHLENBERG OF PENNSYLVANIA AS ITS FIRST HOUSE SPEAKER.

Back when House Speakers had a brain in their heads.

1854:  CHARLES DICKENS' NOVEL "HARD TIMES" BEGINS SERIALIZATION.

How about "Fast Times?"   At Ridgemont High?

1865:  THE BATTLE OF FIVE FORKS DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WARS.

I guess forks can kill just as much as knives.

1883:  ACTOR LON CHANEY SR. IS BORN.

The Man of a Thousand Faces.  As opposed to Nancy Pelosi, who only had five.

1887:  THE MUMBAI FIRE BRIGADE IS ESTABLISHED.

Slumdog Fireman.

1891:  THE WRIGLEY COMPANY IS FOUNDED IN CHICAGO.

Chew on that for a while.

1893:  THE RANK OF CHIEF PETTY OFFICER IN THE US NAVY IS ESTABLISHED.

That's so...well...petty.

1922:  WRITER WILLIAM MANCHESTER IS BORN.

Birth of a Writer.

1924:  ADOLF HITLER IS SENTENCED TO FIVE YEARS IN JAIL FOR HIS PARTICIPATION IN THE BEER HALL PUTSCH.  HOWEVER, SHE SPENDS ONLY NINE MONTHS IN JAIL, DURING WHICH HE WRITES MEIN KAMPF.

Dumbest guy in the world?   The guard who opened the prison door and let him out.

1924:   THE ROYAL CANADIAN AIR FORCE IS FORMED.

Good.  In case we're attacked from the North.

1929:  ACTRESS JANE POWELL IS BORN.

Still with us.  And married to a former Little Rascal Dickie Moore.

1932:  ACTRESS DEBBIE REYNOLDS IS BORN.

Mother of Princess Leia.

1933:  THE RECENTLY ELECTED NAZIS UNDER JULIUS STREICHER ORGANIZE A ONE-DAY BOYCOTT OF ALL JEWISH-OWNED BUSINESSES IN GERMANY, USHERING IN A SERIES OF ANTI-SEMITIC ACTS.

That series will unfortunately be long running.

1934:  NEW YORK MET ROD KANEHL IS BORN.

Hot Rod!

1937:  DURING THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR, SPAIN IS BOMBED BY NAZI FORCES.  

So they hated the Spaniards, too.

1939:  ACTRESS ALI MCGRAW IS BORN.

Love means never having to say "happy birthday."

1939:  GENERALISIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO OF THE SPANISH STATE ANNOUNCES THE END OF THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR.

Still dead in 2015.

1944:   BASEBALL STAR RUSTY STAUB IS BORN.

Love his baby back ribs.  Oh, and the baseball playing, too.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, UNITED STATES TROOPS LAND ON OKINAWA IN THE LAST MAJOR CAMPAIGN OF THE WAR.

Getting ready to say sayonara.

1949:  THE GOVERNMENT OF CANADA REPEALS JAPANESE CANADIAN INTERNMENT.

The war's been over for four years.   What took you so long?  

1957:  THE BBC BROADCASTS THE SPAGHETTI TREE HOAX.

The sequel was the Ravioli Plant Scandal.

1965:  BUSINESSWOMAN HELENA RUBINSTEIN DIES.

No amount of eye shadow is going to cover this up.

1967:  THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION BEGINS OPERATION.

Well, heck, how did people get around before this???

1970:  PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON SIGNS THE PUBLIC HEALTH CIGARETTE SMOKING ACT INTO LAW, REQUIRING THE SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNINGS ON TOBACCO AND BANNING CIGARETTE ADS ON TV AND RADIO IN THE US, STARTING IN 1971.

Marlboro Man, you're on notice.

1976:  APPLE INC IS FORMED.

I wonder how successful they will be.

1976:  CONRAIL TAKES OVER OPERATIONS FROM SIX BANKRUPT RAILROADS IN THE NORTHEAST.

And proceeded to run them into the ground.

1979:  IRAN BECOMES AN ISLAMIC REPUBLIC BY A 99% VOTE, OFFICIALLY OVERTHROWING THE SHAH.

Shah Na Na.

1984:  SINGER MARVIN GAYE DIES.

We heard it through the grapevine.

1996:  UMPIRE JOHN MCSHERRY DIES.

On Opening Day in Cincinnati, he was umpiring behind home plate and collapsed.  Video exists.
 
2001:  SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BECOMES LEGAL IN THE NETHERLANDS, THE FIRST CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY TO ALLOW IT.

Unless, of course, two guys get married and then the judge says....April Fools.

2004: GOOGLE ANNOUNCES GMAIL TO THE PUBLIC.

I have to tell you that it's a clunky e-mail system.

2010:  ACTOR JOHN FORSYTHE DIES.

Bachelor Corpse.

2018:  TV PRODUCER STEVEN BOCHCO DIES.

Hill Street Extremely Blue.

2025:  ACTOR VAL KILMER DIES.

The former Batman to you.

Dinner last night:  Grilled sausage.

Hollywood Then and Now - March 2026

 

There is nothing more regal and stately than an old department store.   We're not talking Walmart here, folks.   This is the famed May Company store that sits at the intersection of Fairfax and Wilshire.  It is the place where...allegedly...Jack Benny first met his wife Mary Livingstone as she worked behind one of the counters.

Well, the building is still there.   And it has a bit of a show biz motif.   The place was converted to house the Motion Picture Academy's museum and headquarters. 

 So, a nice transition, right?

WRONG!

In its new iteration, the new tenant of the building has created a badly designed mess.  Oh, sure, the motion picture history is here.  And there are some marvelous theaters for screenings.   That is, if you want to see "diverse" movies.  Seemingly, that's all they show there.

What's worse is the ADA access for those museum goers with mobility issues.  The ADA parking is either non-existent or a long crawl away.  And the bathroom access for those going to see a movie.   Another ten minute walk.   

I've seen other articles talking about how the Academy botched this golden opportunity.   Good luck if you want to head out there.

It was better off as a department store.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Korean Chicken.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 30, 2026

 My blog anniversary month winds up with Beyonce...well, sort of.  Remember this classic?

Dinner last night:  Grilled beef sausage and salad.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - A Lenten Week Recall

 Given that it is the week of Good Friday, a childhood story comes flooding through the seas of my cranium. It is vintage Martin Luther and probably why he nailed those things to the doors a couple of centuries ago.

I grew up in a neighborhood that was predominantly Italian, which meant that it was also predominantly Catholic. In fact, I was the lone Protestant on the block as well as the only one of my group that attended public school. That made me instantly out of sync. When they all had days off for All Saints Day and the Assumption, I was off for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The public school students weren't necessarily Jewish, but the faculty sure as heck was. At an early age, I realized the upside and the downside of being Lutheran. There were never any real eating restrictions---thumbs up. But, you got major league gypped on holidays---thumbs down. When was the last time you got to stay home from school for Pentecost?

Being the religious outsider, I lost out on participating in all active arguments on saints. I could tell you the line-ups of every major league baseball team, but couldn't tell the difference between an Ignatius or a Basil. I also never got to chime in on the unified hatred all my friends had for some teacher like Sister Mary RiteAid, who allegedly wielded a mean ruler full of 2 inch nails.

And, apparently, I was missing out on something else in those schools. So said my next door neighbor Monte. Monte was an A+ student at one of the Catholic schools, one of those places where all the kids were forced to wear chocolate-colored pants with chocolate-colored jackets and chocolate-colored ties. I used to get to eat over his house from time to time. One night after dinner, instead of tuning into "Get Smart," Monte pulled out a school workbook and proceeded to instruct me in the Catholic faith. Per his teacher, Sister Margaret Advil, I, as a Protestant, was going to Hell. I was not to pass Go. I was not to collect 200 dollars. A one way ticket, all expenses paid and no questions asked, to H E Double Hockey Sticks. 

To further explain my impending peril, he turned to the page in his religious schoolbook where they apparently segregated the Protestants. There was a cartoon of a small boy. That was me, Monte said. In the center of the boy's chest was a black circle. That was the dirt on my inner soul for being a Protestant. I began to rub my chest. Could I feel this stain growing inside of me? Was that cough I was getting a result of this or just a second hand by-product from my mother's cigarettes? I wondered if my parents or my grandparents at home knew if they were doomed as well. 

Monte also let me in on a little more magic he learned from his school. On Good Friday every year, between the hours of 12 Noon and 3PM, the skies around the world get dark, as God weeps over the crucifixion of Jesus. When my nine-year-old logic tried to challenge Monte on this, I was rebuffed. It's impossible that it gets darker all over the world, I contended. But, no, I was wrong, according to Monte who studied at the feet of Sister Alice SpicNSpan. 

Good Friday came a few weeks later. And wouldn't you know it? The darkest clouds ever blanketed the sky right between 12 Noon and 3PM. Amazing! Monte was a genius. Obviously, that Martin Luther was a real snake oil salesman. 

Where do I sign up to be a Catholic? How fast can I get my soul cleaned and can they hem my new chocolate-colored pants at the same time?

Well, I noticed that nobody else really talked about the fact that the skies got dark that afternoon. My parents didn't mention it. My grandmother said nothing. Walter Cronkite did not make it a lead story on the nightly news. Monte and his teachings were exposed even further when subsequent Good Fridays turned out to be totally lovely days. 

And, when my grandfather died a few years later, nobody at the funeral talked about his black hole or the fact that he was in Hell as we spoke. Over time, I came to learn about the intricacies of all religions and made my own choices as wisely as my knowledge could sustain. Hopefully, Monte's school workbook has been discontinued at Sacred Heart School. I can only imagine what else was included in the curriculum back then. Dick and Jane Stone a Presbyterian?

As for Monte himself, the A plus student hit the skids big time in high school. He went a little crazy via drugs, etc.. He still lives in the same house he grew up in. He buried his parents (probably in the backyard). And he looks like somebody on an open call for "Helter Skelter: The Musical" with wardrobe from the Charles Manson collection. 

Usually once a year on one of my NY trips, I take a drive down the old block. It has turned over several times economically and ethnically. All the homes look like liquor storefronts in the worst areas of the Bronx. On one of those drives, I noticed Monte's house painted lime green. The front yard is covered in weeds. It is a complete eyesore. And there in the front stood Mountainman Monte. A homeless man with an address. 

I thought about stopping for a second. But I drove on. The blackness of my Protestant soul was nothing compared to the hell his life has been.

Dinner last night:  Korean chicken from Chin Chin.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - March 2026

 They don't make them like this any more.

Dinner last night:  The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.

It's All in the Pose

 

What a pisser.

All hands on Dad.

Nice pig you got there.  The one in the middle, I mean.

Will the dead one float if we toss over the railing?

A new definition of the word "stool."

Now that's what I call diversity.

What's this phenomenon of sitting on your family members?

Like I said.

Dinner last night:  Japanese hot dog at the Dodger home opener.

Hope Springing Eternal Again

 

Just as it did in 1962, Opening Day arrives anew.   Everybody is tied for first place and last place.   Let the games begin.  

Again.

Dinner last night:  Beef and broccoli.