Attention: Walmart Shoppers

 

The sad thing is that he probably knew the pants were ripped when he put them on.

You can't spell "thong" without the letters t-o-n.

Usually, the road kill is underneath your car.

A homage to that old Dan Aykroyd SNL sketch about the appliance repairman.

Perhaps that text message is saying "YOU WENT OUT LIKE THAT??"

This is what they call a "ghetto fix."

Now that's what I call bloomers.

Tu tu pathetic.

A little less attitude and a lot less potato chips.

This hair do really sucks.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

The Best Film of 2025

 

Should I make such a bold statement when we are only 2 weeks into the year? Well, given Hollywood's current track record for turning out junk, it will be interesting to revisit this blog review at the end of the year.

"September 5" is that good. Indeed, I went to see it last weekend as a means to ditch all the depressing news about the Los Angeles wild fires.   Think about that. I needed a movie about the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre to be a diversion.

This film is a totally fascinating look at the ABC Sports control room on that fateful 1972 day when they had to report on the terrorist act that took over those Olympics.  As a matter of fact, I would say 90 percent of the movie takes place in that control room, which is being run by a young producer named Geoff Mason.  He has to navigate through philosophical arguments on what to show and not show.  Several real-life folks are depicted, such as Roone Arledge and Peter Jennings.   Most of the people there that day have passed on.  But Mason is still around and this amps up the authenticity of the film.

The ABC anchor that day, Jim McKay, is shown so frequently and serves as a vital character.  He is not depicted by an actor, but his presence makes us feel that he is still alive and with us...a remarkable feat by director and co-writer Tim Fehlbaum.  And this movie, at a tight 90 minute running length, is as efficient as a story can be.  There is not a wasted word or frame.

I see that "September 5" was originally released in December, which means it might be eligible for Oscar consideration.   We should be so lucky.  Still, it probably will be my Best Picture pick for this year or next.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Hot dogs.

This Date in History - January 15

 

Happy birthday to Margaret O'Brien.  Whatever Judy tells you, don't take the green pills in her hand.

69:  OTHO SEIZES POWER IN ROME, PROCLAIMING HIMSELF EMPEROR OF ROME, BUT RULES FOR ONLY THREE MONTHS BEFORE COMMITTING SUICIDE.

So, Otho, it wasn't what you thought, heh?

1493:  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS SETS SAIL FOR SPAIN, ENDING HIS TRIP TO THE NEW WORLD.

That must have racked up some hotel bill.

1559:  ELIZABETH I IS CROWNED QUEEN OF ENGLAND IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY OF LONDON.

Elizabeth the Originator.

1759:  THE BRITISH MUSEUM OPENS.

Finally giving British school children some place to go on a field trip.

1777:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, NEW CONNECTICUT DECLARES ITS INDEPENDENCE.   IT LATER BECOMES VERMONT.

And Old Connecticut can now just be regular Connecticut.

1782:  SUPERINTENDENT OF FINANCE ROBERT MORRIS GOES BEFORE THE US CONGRESS TO RECOMMEND ESTABLISHMENT OF A NATIONAL MINT AND COINAGE.

So this is the idiot who invented the penny???

1822:  DURING THE GREEK WAR OF INDEPENDENCE, DEMETRIOS YPSILANTIS IS ELECTED PRESIDENT.

And later opens up a diner on Northern Boulevard in Queens.

1844:  THE UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME RECEIVES ITS CHARTER FROM THE STATE OF INDIANA.

Regis Philbin was there for the signing.

1870:  A POLITICAL CARTOON FOR THE FIRST TIME SYMBOLIZES THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY WITH A DONKEY.

And they remain jackasses to this day.

1889:  THE COCA COLA COMPANY IS INCORPORATED IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA.

The incorporation that refreshes.

1892:  JAMES NAISMITH PUBLISHES THE RULES OF BASKETBALL.

There are rules??

1908:  THE ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY BECOMES THE FIRST GREEK LETTER ORGANIZATION FOUNDED BY AFRICAN AMERICAN COLLEGE WOMEN.

I have five different jokes.   Please e-mail me privately for specifics.

1909:  DRUMMER GENE KRUPA IS BORN.

Hey, knock off that racket!!

1913:  ACTOR LLOYD BRIDGES IS BORN.

I guess I picked the wrong day to come down a birth canal.

1919:  A LARGE MOLASSES TANK IN BOSTON EXPLODES AND A WAVE OF MOLASSES RUSHES THROUGH THE STREET, KILLING 21 PEOPLE.

Who apparently were slower than to get out of the way.

1927:  ACTRESS PHYLLIS COATES IS BORN.

The other Lois Lane.

1929:  ACTIVIST MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. IS BORN.

And now everybody has a Monday off in January.

1937:  ACTRESS MARGARET O'BRIEN IS BORN.

Meet us at the fair.

1943:  THE PENTAGON IS DEDICATED IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA.

It was the world's largest office building.  Amazing for a place that is not a skycraper.

1947:  THE BRUTALIZED CORPSE OF ELIZABETH SHORT (THE BLACK DAHLIA) IS FOUND IN LOS ANGELES.

Paging Lt. Columbo....

1962:  THE DERVENI PAPYRUS, EUROPE'S OLDEST SURVIVING MANUSCRIPT, IS FOUND IN NORTHERN GREECE.

Now that's something to sell on E-bay.

1967:  THE FIRST SUPER BOWL IS PLAYED IN LOS ANGELES.  THE GREEN BAY PACKERS DEFEAT THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, 35-10.

Back then, there was absolutely no pre-game hype.

1970:  MOAMMAR GADHAFI IS PROCLAIMED PREMIER OF LIBYA.

If they insist...

1973:  CITING PROGRESS IN PEACE NEGOTIATIONS, PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES THE SUSPENSION OF OFFENSIVE ACTION IN NORTH VIETNAM.

As if the offense was doing any good.

1976:  GERALD FORD'S WOULD-BE ASSASSIN, SARA JANE MOORE, IS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON.

That's one off the streets.

1987: ACTOR RAY BOLGER DIES.

The last straw.

2001:  WIKIPEDIA GOES ONLINE FOR THE FIRST TIME.

Thank God.  Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do these Wednesday historical pieces.

2005:  ACTRESS RUTH WARRICK DIES.

All My Corpses.

2009:  US AIRWAYS FLIGHT 1549 MAKES AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN THE HUDSON RIVER.   EVERYBODY SURVIVES.

To this day, Sully is still the ultimate hero.

2019:  ACTRESS CAROL CHANNING DIES.

Goodbye, Dolly.

Dinner last night:   Leftover SPO.

The Small Silver Lining in the Smoky LA Sky

 

Unless you were on Mars...or visiting Ghana...you couldn't ignore the perilous week that Los Angeles had.   And is still having.   

The entire Palisades Village is gone, except for allegedly my dentist's office.  Malibu is partially destroyed.  So are other areas throughout Los Angeles.  And it's one or two degrees of separation for you to know somebody who lost their home.   I know three such people.

Why?

Well, this is all the end result of environmentalists getting their hands on government policies so they could save the planet.   We'll save the planet while killing everything else.   No more controlled burns of brush.  Reduced water pressure with low-flow toilets and showers.  Sure, let's fix a lot of inconsequential stuff while everything burns around us.

There's lot of blame to go around.  But, at the end of the fiery day, let's look at the two idiots pictured above.  Two incompetents that got elected because A/One is Black and B/They both have Ds that follow their names.  Neither one should be working at what they are doing, but A Lister Hollywood helped get them both elected.   By the way, that's the same A Listers who lost homes in the Pacific Palisades.

I've know Mayor Karen Bass was a fraud long before she became Mayor.  You see, for several years, she was my Congressional rep.  On three different occasions, I contacted her office with questions on health care.  No one, even an intern, bothered to contact me.   The unspoken legend is that they ignore citizens if their last name looks "too white."   

Well, despite the fact Bass was told there might be a catastrophic fire event in the coming days, she still got on a plane and flew to Ghana to represent the US as a Presidential inauguration.   

As for the other shithead above, Governor Gavin Newsom and his latent stupidity might finally have sunk him here.   The guy who just loves being glib for the camera can't explain why fire fighters couldn't get water pressure to fight a fire.  But most people, except for the Hollywood A-Listers, tried to get rid of him in a recall two years ago.   If that vote was held today, the outcome might be different.

So, that, my friends, is the small silver lining amid all the smoky ash.  Right now is not a good time to be a Democrat in California.

Dinner last night:  Taylor Ham on English muffin.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - January 13, 2025

 Be careful what you wish for.

Dinner last night:  Roast chicken breast.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Up To Your Hips

 

With dry air and fires raging all over Los Angeles, we could use a little wet stuff around here.   So let's go back to my more youthful days.

You may have seen this photo before.  But, nevertheless, here I am again.  Enjoying the snow several decades ago.  With a friend that was undoubtedly built by my dad.  Even then, I had no patience when it came to artistic moments.  I certainly couldn't have crafted a snowman.

Ah, how refreshing.  How homespun.  How cute.

And, then, a bunch of years later...

Here I am again.  Having a lot less fun.  A snapshot from the 80s.  My very first solo apartment on North Broadway in Yonkers.  And, whoa, there's my very first car.  A 1980 Toyota Corolla.  I loved that little brown peanut.  It gave me ten solid years of reliable transportation.  Despite the fact that it was always parked outside amongst the elements.  And took the brunt of snowfalls like this.

It's amazing how your perspective changes when you grow up in an area that endures snowflakes during the winter months. 

When you're a kid, you live through the delight of the Christmas season just as winter sets in.  Then, on January 2, you are likely headed back to jail AKA elementary school.  And the prospect of time off, prior to the regularly scheduled Presidential birthdays in February, is totally dependent upon some low pressure systems meshing with some Canadian cold front.  You'd anxiously await the weather report on the nightly news.  You'd gladly switch over from the Three Stooges on WPIX Channel 11 to hear WCBS weatherlady Carol Reed tell you to "have a happy" and then announce the prospects of a blizzard within the next five days. 

"70% chance of snow."

Hmmm, that's more than 50-50.  I'll take it.  I would immediately start to make plans about how late I would sleep in the morning.

Of course, school had to be officially cancelled first.  And, in Mount Vernon, New York, which was just north of the Bronx/NYC line, that wasn't so easy.    The New York City public school system was notoriously famous for not cancelling classes.  It really had to be a dire emergency.

"Due to the plague of locusts, New York City public schools will open at 10AM this morning."

Mount Vernon didn't like to cancel if New York City stayed open.  So, frequently, as the drifts piled up, we were screwed.  Still, we had hope.  If you knew that snow had fallen overnight, you would get up and prod your mother to tune to Westchester's official "school closing" radio station, WFAS-AM.  I don't think anybody ever really listens to WFAS unless it's snowing.  And you'd listen hopefully as the roll call of Westchester County school systems checking in.

"Mahopac schools closed."

Of course, they are.  Mahopac is right next to Alaska, correct?

"Rye Country Day School closed."

That sounds like such a nice place to be educated.  The Rye Country Day School.  Mom, can we move please?  Because they're closed today.

"White Plains schools closed."

Okay, gang, we're getting closer.

"Mount Vernon public schools............open."

F Me.

We never got a break. 

Now there was a back-up alert system that we always hoped would prove those WFAS frauds wrong.  The city of Mount Vernon had a set of loud fire whistles.  If there was no school, the siren would go off at 7AM and 8AM.  I would wait with baited breath.  Nobody make a sound, please.

Most of the time...nothing.

But, there were those days where the whistle went off and I felt glorious.  I also think they were going to use the same warning in the event of a nuclear attack so the last laugh could have been on me as I shimmied my way into my snow suit and/or a radioactive haze.

Not that my day was going to be completely full of leisure.  Invariably, I would be invited outside to help my father shovel out the driveway.  With the usual winter threat.

"Go help your father.  Do you want him to die of a heart attack?"

Okay, got it.

I'd amble outside and then perform my usual snowstorm chore.  I'd pretend to shovel.  If it was windy, the white stuff would blow back into my face.  Eventually, I had more snow on me than I had moved into a neat pile.  Within fifteen minutes, the potential coronary victim that was my dad had seen enough.

"Go inside.  You're just making a mess out here."

Okay, got it.

And that's how, every winter as a child, I managed to get out of shoveling snow.  A wonderful system.   And my father never did have that heart attack.

But, in retrospect, I probably could have used the practice.  Because as glorious as snow days were when you're a youngster, your viewpoints changes when you're an adult.

You don't listen to the school closings on WFAS-AM.

You don't get to wait for a fire whistle.

Unless, it's fifteen inches or more, you don't get to stay home.  You are expected to work.

So, you wake up in the AM and shovel out your car as you see in the photo above. 

It all sucked.

At my very first solo apartment on North Broadway in Yonkers, just leaving the premises in the snow was an ordeal.  First, you had to clean off the car.  If I was smart the night before, I had already taken the brush, shovel, and ice scraper out of the trunk.  Then you begin the process.  If it was really early and nobody was outside yet, I would simply push the crap onto the car in the next space.  Hell, he was a dirtbag anyway.

Now I had a real problem if there was a sheet of ice on the windshield.  Those of you not familiar with frozen tundra-like conditions have no idea how you defrost your car window.  To do it correctly, you ideally need to go out about a half-hour before you really want to leave.  You sit in the car and turn on the defroster.  And simply sit and wait.

Me?  I had little patience.  So I would try to help it along by spraying on the windshield washing liquid.  That would help speed up the process momentarily. 

Until that froze over even more.  Before I knew it, my car window could have served as the arena for the Stanley Cup playoffs.  And I never ever learned my lesson.

Of course, once you could see out your car window, you had to figure out a way to get up the huge slope of a driveway.  On lots of winter mornings, there were cars literally lined up waiting to take their turn up Mount Kilimanjaro.   People would rev their engines to get some momentum going and then start to speed up the driveway which had been barely cleaned.

Halfway up, you'd start to slide down.

Again.

Halfway up.  Slide back down.

Again.

Halfway up.  Slide back down.

Okay, if you failed the climb on the third attempt, common courtesy would be to step aside and let the next bozo try.

Halfway up.  Slide back down.

Again.

Halfway up.  Slide back down.

If somebody managed to keep going, everybody else would stand there perplexed trying to figure out how they did it.  That and, also, cursing the bastard for his success.

Once I got up to the main thoroughfare of North Broadway, I wasn't nearly finished.  I had to somehow maneuver my way gingerly down the mountains of Yonkers to the Metro North train station in Getty Square.  Driving behind other idiots trying to do the same thing but with tires that had not been rotated or replaced in a decade.

The usual ten-minute drive to the train often took an hour on those mornings.  And then, of course, you had no guarantee of transportation into Manhattan.  You'd arrive triumphantly on the train platform only to hear the scratchy announcement over the public address system.

"The 7:55AM to Grand Central...has been cancelled...due to equipment trouble."

Okay, there was another one in ten minutes.

"The 8:05AM to Grand Central...has been cancelled...due to equipment trouble."

And fifteen minutes later...

"The 8:05AM to Grand Central...is running...fifteen minutes later."

Duh.

Admittedly, the Metro North railroad has gotten their act together in the past two decades.   But, back in the 80s, you had a better chance of getting into the city if you waited for a sleigh to come by with Doctor Zhivago at the reins.

When you finally crawled into your office by 9:30AM or 10AM, you'd look around at complete emptiness.  And wonder in amazement how you managed to get to work from Westchester County but the person who lives ten blocks away on 57th Street hadn't arrived yet.

Yeah, writing this piece has given me an epiphany.

I don't miss that weather at all.  I am happy to spend the winter months in Los Angeles.  Where a 20 percent chance of showers prompts a "storm watch" on local TV stations.

Unless, of course, if there's a fire or two.

Dinner last night:  Teriyaki beef from Fuwa.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - January 2025

 A slow news day back when in England...

Dinner last night:  Double double from In N Out.