This Date in History - November 6

 

Happy birthday, Sally Field.  We like you, we really, really like you.

355:  ROMAN EMPEROR CONSTANTIUS II PROMOTES HIS COUSIN JULIAN TO THE RANK OF CAESAR.

And his sister Romaine Lettuce to the rank of salad.

1528: SHIPWRECKED SPANISH CONQUISTADOR ALVAR NUNEZ CABEZA DE VACA BECOMES THE FIRST KNOWN EUROPEAN TO SET FOOT IN TEXAS.

We'd also tell you about the first known Mexican to set foot in Texas but we lost count.

1789:  POPE PIUS VI APPOINTS FATHER JOHN CARROLL AS THE FIRST CATHOLIC BISHOP IN THE US.  

Meanwhile, comedian Joey Bishop was Jewish.  That's what I call irony.

1844:  THE FIRST CONSTITUTION OF THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC IS ADOPTED.

I think there were about two dozen revisions.

1854:  COMPOSER JOHN PHILIP SOUSA IS BORN.

March!

1861:  JEFFERSON DAVIS IS ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA.

Movin' on up to the South Side.

1869:  RUTGERS COLLEGE DEFEATS PRINCETON UNIVERSITY, 6-4, IN THE FIRST OFFICIAL INTERCOLLEGIATE FOOTBALL GAME.

Sounds like a snoozefest?  Only four points??  Two safeties???  Really????

1913:  MOHANDAS GANDHI IS ARRESTED WHILE LEADING A MARCH OF INDIAN MINERS IN SOUTH AFRICA.

You have the right to make one call.  And change your bedsheet once.

1914:  ACTOR JONATHAN HARRIS IS BORN.

Dr. Smith from "Lost in Space."  Meanwhile, he died on November 3, 2002.  Three days short of his birthday.  What a gyp!

1916:  COMPOSER RAY CONNIFF IS BORN.

And now we'll have something to listen to in the elevator.

1918:  THE SECOND POLISH REPUBLIC IS PROCLAIMED IN POLAND.

The fourth Polish Republic was proclaimed two years earlier.  Is that the joke you were expecting from me?

1931:  DIRECTOR MIKE NICHOLS IS BORN.

Married to Diane Sawyer.  Yeah, they don't sleep in the same bed.

1934:  MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE BECOMES THE FIRST MAJOR CITY TO JOIN THE TENNESSEE VALLEY AUTHORITY.  

Even though they tried to get into the Ohio Valley Authority.

1935:  PARKER BROTHERS ACQUIRES THE PATENT RIGHT FOR MONOPOLY.

Three hotels on Baltic Avenue, please.

1942:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE GUADALCANAL CAMPAIGN BEGINS.

Quick, somebody start keeping a diary!

1944:  PLUTONIUM IS FIRST PRODUCED AT THE HANFORD ATOMIC FACILITY AND WILL BE LATER DROPPED ON NAGASAKI, JAPAN.

Weather forecast:  100% change of mushroom clouds.

1946:  ACTRESS SALLY FIELD IS BORN.

Wait till you see my Gidget.

1947:  MEET THE PRESS MAKES ITS TELEVISION DEBUT.

By 2019, it has tripled its viewers to three.

1955:  JOURNALIST MARIA SHRIVER IS BORN.

Whatever you do, don't trust her to hire your housekeeper.

1962: THE UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY PASSES A RESOLUTION CONDEMNING SOUTH AFRICA'S RACIST APARTHEID POLICIES.

I'm dying to know who voted against it.

1965:  CUBA AND THE US FORMALLY AGREE TO BEGIN AN AIRLIFT FOR CUBANS WHO WANT TO GO TO THE UNITED STATES.

Well, that will make for a lot of hungry sharks swimming off the coast of Florida.

1986:  A BRITISH HELICOPTER CRASHES, KILLING 45 PEOPLE.  IT IS THE DEADLIEST CIVILIAN HELICOPTER CRASH ON RECORD.

My question is how did they cram all those people into one chopper.

1991:  ACTRESS GENE TIERNEY DIES.

She starred in "Leave Her to Heaven" and "Heaven Can Wait."  So be it.

1995:  ART MODELL ANNOUNCES THAT HE SIGNED A DEAL THAT WOULD RELOCATE THE CLEVELAND BROWNS TO BALTIMORE TO BECOME THE BALTIMORE RAVENS.

This is about the time I started to lose track of which pro football franchises were where.

1995:  ACTRESS ANETA CORSAUT DIES.

Miss Crump from "The Andy Griffith Show."

1998:  WRESTLER SKY LOW LOW DIES.

Hint to his wrestling name: he was a midget.

2007:  MANAGER GEORGE OSMOND DIES.

A Mormon heads to his own personal cloud.

2012:  BARACK OBAMA IS RE-ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE US.

When people get past the marketing angle of this candidate, historians will conclude that his presidency was a very mediocre one.

Dinner last night:  Leftover SPO.

Morons of the Month - November 2024

 

You don't have to read deeply into this piece to find out this month's morons.

Yep, it would be us.  For allowing a Presidential Election Day to be this inexplicable.  The choice is the equivalent of being told you have to amputate one of your legs.  Regardless of which you choose, you're still disabled for life.   

And so goes our nation.

The good news is that this should be over soon and one half of the country will be ecstatic and the other half will be yelling for a recount.  And we can stop hearing the rhetoric we have been slammed with for years.

No one pays attention to the issues anymore.   They are irrelevant.  I mean, ask any Democrat why they are voting for that idiot Kamala Harris and tell them they can't use the word "Trump" in the response.   It's impossible for them to do so.  

Meanwhile, the bullshit we hear from the mainstream media just messes up the process even further.  We keep hearing that Trump is a fascist and Hitler.   But we already had him for four years.   Where are the concentration camps?  Where are the executions of average citizens?   Trust me, I'm no fan of the guy.   But, seriously, wouldn't we have seen evidence of this so-called fascism from 2017 to 2020?   

But still it comes.   Take, for instance, that "ABC News" show "The View."   About a week ago, host Whoopi Goldberg AKA former welfare recipient Karen Johnson, went on a rant screaming that a President Trump would issue an edict that all interracial marriages be ended and the non-White partner be jailed!

Seriously, this was on national TV!  And the bobbleheads in the audience believed this stupid, worthless cunt.   Yes, I just typed that.

Regardless of what happens today, the country is still circling that chasm of water housed in the porcelain conveniences in our home.   One more Election Day and we have let this all happen before our very eyes.

Our forefathers didn't count on just how stupid we would become almost 250 years later.

Dinner last night:  Chili.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 4, 2024

Let's get our minds off politics today and enjoy this classic moment from TV's "The Odd Couple."

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Pulling the Lever

 

Do you remember the first time you voted?   I do.   And, no, I didn't do so dressed as a nun.

It was a big deal making that very first vote.  Ironically, my polling station when I was 18 turned out to be Grimes School in Mount Vernon, New York, which is where I had gone from kindergarten to the sixth grade.   The symbolism was not lost on me.  There was a "closing the circle" moment that took me from innocent youngster to full-bred American citizen.  

I had prepared for this.  

Back then, this voting thing was a serious notion.   Anybody running for office from President of the United States to local city alderman was a person who commanded respect and honor.   The candidates on a national landscape lived in a different universe.   One that was to be revered.   These were important people.   You didn't see them on shows with comedians or sports programming, unless, of course, it was throwing out the first ball in Game One of the World Series.   There was no monkeying around with these folks.  They meant business.

Of course, you can see how badly we have changed.   

I remember when I first registered to vote in City Hall of my home town.  I walked proudly into that building to fill out my forms.  I was delighted to be finally counted as an adult.   I perused the questions.   And then landed on one where you actually draw a side.

WHICH PARTY DO YOU WISH TO REGISTER WITH?   DEMOCRATIC OR REPUBLICAN?

Hmmm.  It wasn't even election day and I was already deep in thought.

I had only my family household to draw upon.  And, well...

My family largely ignored politics, working under the tried-and-true adage that all of them were crooks and they all stunk.

That said, as a youngster, I did listen to the opinions and views around my family.  I was trying to reason it all for myself.  And, believe me, my household was a cornucopia of political viewpoints.

My mother didn't really care, unless a candidate was particularly good looking.  If, however, the guy running was a troll, Mom simply re-buried her nose into Photoplay Magazine and paid attention to more important matters.  Like whether Liz Taylor and Richard Burton were going to last as husband and wife.

My father was a little bit more astute, but, although he was registered as a Republican and tended to always vote that way, he liked to announce regularly that "all politicians stink."  He used to remind us all the time that his "former boss," General Douglas MacArthur, should have been elected President and, frankly, the country had gone downhill ever since.  Thanks, Dad.

My grandfather kept quiet.  When he read the Daily News while seated at the kitchen table downstairs, he went through the newspaper from back to front.  And almost always concentrated on the funny pages, which he would read to me Fiorello LaGuardia-style.  Every time there was a power failure in the house, Grandpa would use that occasion to utter one of his rare political rants.

"COMMUNISTS!"

Yes, deep down inside, Grandpa was awaiting the arrival of Russia on our shores and believed it was imminent.  Obviously, the first stage of attack, according to Grandpa, would be a takeover of Con Edison Electric.

Meanwhile, there was one person in our house who had some political opinions and displayed no shyness in voicing them.

Grandma.

I could listen to her musings on current events for hours.  In retrospect, none of them made any sense.  Except maybe to her.  And her most favorite target for her disdain was President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

"Swindler."

"His wife lived in a suitcase and was having a good time on vacation using the poor peoples' money."

"He could walk better than they said."

"He wasn't in the coffin when they buried him.  Instead, they put in all the papers that proved he sold us out to the Japs."

Got the picture?  There was no love lost.

Meanwhile, she thought Harry Truman was "fresh."  President Eisenhower was a nice man but too old to be President.  And John F. Kennedy?  She'd sneer with one word.

"Catholic."

My grandmother actually thought Kennedy was trying to convert the entire country to the Roman Catholic Church.  And, of course, she had a story to back it up.  She loved to tell it over and over and over.

One of her cousins was a housekeeper and she happened to have a Polish last name.  Well, years before, she got a job working for the Kennedy clan when they lived in Bronxville.  But, one day, when Grandma's cousin was allegedly talking about going to church in front of matriarch Rose Kennedy, she mentioned trying a new Lutheran church.  According to Grandma, Mama Rose went nuts.

"But you have a Polish last name.  You're not Catholic?"

When Grandma's cousin shook her head, the story ends with Rose firing her from her job.  That tale carried through with my grandmother for years.  And it would always be punctuated with...

"Those damn Kennedys."

Grandma could never say the name "Kennedy" without using the word "damn" before it.

So, amidst all this political rhetoric in my home, what's a kid to think?  And how does he register?

On that very first day in City Hall, I registered as a...wait for it...Republican.   But, I'm here to tell you that I hold no major binds and ties to that party.   Over the course of my life, I have voted for a myriad of candidates from all sides of the aisle.   You see, part of my education came from my American History teacher in high school.  

Miss Castriota.   

Back then, she reminded me of an old spinster lady.  I've done a Google search and she is apparently still with us.   My math tells me she was only in her mid 30s when I had her, but she looked ancient at the time.

Miss Castriota was an odd sort.   She has this brusque manner and, if she caught you chewing gum, she charged you a dime.   Kids who had only heard of her feared being in her class.   But I thought she had a terrific take on American History and, most particularly, Presidential history.   Around Election Day, she deviated from the textbook to give us some non-judgmental thoughts on whoever was running that year.

"When you finally get a chance to vote, just remember to do your home work."

I knew what she was saying.  And, since then, I have devoured lots of books on lots of past Presidents.   As a result of Miss Castriota's challenge,  I have always assumed a very bipartisan and independent stance on viewing Presidential candidates.   I have voted for both sides.   Indeed, no single person made a deeper impact on my political stance than Miss Castriota.

And I think about her mantra every four years.   Indeed, I've come a long way since my first vote in the hallway where I was in the second grade.  I'm 3,000 miles away now and, when I registered to vote in California, I looked at the very same party affiliation question again.   This time, I went a different route.

NO PARTY AFFILIATION....check.

Here's how different voting is here in Los Angeles.   In the past few years, my polling place was in somebody's garage around the corner.   This prompted me for the first time to vote by mail.   And my ballot is already being counted.   If you want to know which way I went, come back to this blog on Tuesday.   But I followed the same voices from the past.   I listened to the words of Miss Castriota.   I did my homework.   But, also, for the very first time, I remembered the words that were frequently heard in my home.

"They all stink."

Whatever.   Just go vote yourself.   And, hopefully, you, too, have done your home work.

Dinner last night:  Orange chicken.

Classic TV Ad of the Month - November 2024

In the spirit of Election Day... 

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

This Doesn't Happen Every Year...

 ...so enjoy it when it does.

Dinner last night:  Turkey chili.

Boo As In Boo

 

Clever until you have to explain it to the kids.

I hope her name is Virginia.

 When your local bar has a Halloween party.

When your local Planned Parenthood chapter has a Halloween party.

 Oddly enough, these are not costumes.

 Speak to his wife.

 I see a theme emerging.

 Making maximum use of those baby spills.

 When you are invited to a Halloween party at the White House.

 Also perfect for the Halloween party at your Planned Parenthood chapter.

 Meanwhile, these two idiots weren't even born when...

How old is this costume??!!!

Dinner last night:   Baby back ribs.