Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 30, 2020

Ah, the memories of a Black Friday just one year ago.  In a non-social-distancing-maskless world.

Dinner last night: Chicken noodle soup.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Remembering the Hollywood Christmas Parade

 

Well, this year we have to remember it.   I am assuming this is another in the long line of events cancelled by COVID and/or Mayor Eric Garshitty.   At this juncture, I don't know which one is more lethal.

This prompts to tell a story that has been related multiple times.   Spoiler alert: if you are a fan of the late Florence Henderson, you might want to click away at this juncture.  

But back to the parade that would normally be happening today in Hollywood except it's not.

It used to be called the Santa Claus Lane parade, then the Hollywood Christmas Parade. Now, it's the Hollywood Santa Parade. Whatever the case, this was once a big deal and star magnet. From the days when they got the likes of Bob Hope, Lucy and Desi, and Jack Benny to ride on floats, all they get now is the overnight jock at Hot 97 and perhaps some empty-headed bit player from "The Bold and the Beautiful." I can remember watching it in syndication when I was a kid in NY.   For some reason, the Hallmark Channel has been running it lately as a respite to the five dozen made-for-TV Christmas movies they have.

But, whatever the case, nobody is going to take away from me the experience of actually working at this travesty for about five years straight when I first moved to Los Angeles. I was a volunteer. A community organizer, if you will.

A friend of mine from church (now sadly deceased) used to be in charge of the parade volunteers. So, I was sucked into this "insider's" look at the parade. Except the first year, my assignment was less than plum. Armed with a walkie-talkie that I couldn't figure out, I was stationed as "crowd control" in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard. To make matters worse, I was forced to fear this hideous red vest that made me look like an accident flare on the 405.

While I was not exactly sure why, I allowed myself to get vacuumed up into this disaster the following year. Except this time around, I was put where I indeed belonged. In the celebrity gathering area---the so-called "green room." Which happened to be conveniently located in the bar of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. This is where the D-listers fortified themselves for the upcoming drive down chilly Hollywood Boulevard. 

I saw Santa Claus poised on a bar stool sucking down a beer. 

The "renowned" Lorenzo Lamas was there with his whole family and was screaming at his nanny. 

Comedian Rip Taylor sauntered in and, almost immediately, a parade official pointed discretely at Rip's head. This was the signal that his wig was crooked. Rip gave it a slight tug at the side and recreated his hair styling feng shui.

This would be my perch at the parade for the next three years and nothing could have been sweeter. Watching celebrities behave badly and then slap on an instant smile for the hordes of adoring fans lining the gutters outside. 

The last year I worked the parade, I was stationed at the door to the "green room." My job was to welcome the celebrities as they drove up and entered the hotel. So, a car pulls up on schedule and out comes two heralded TV moms. Marion Ross from "Happy Days" and Florence Henderson from "The Brady Bunch." Why these two were carpooling is still a mystery to me. But, nevertheless, out they popped and approached the door. 

Unbeknownst to me, there were three 10 year-old girls lurking about---probably hotel guests. As soon as they saw Mrs. C and Carol Brady, they ran over for autographs.

Marion Ross was a total pro to these kids. Ever gracious, she thanked them for recognizing her and personalized autographs for each of them. Florence did the same, but I could see only the faintest glimmer of a smile.

Now, it was my turn. I held the door open, ready with a smile and a hello for their entrance.

Marion Ross came over first. She wished me a good evening, a Happy Holiday season, and thanked me for holding the door open for her.

Florence Henderson approached next. Once again, I held the door open, ready with a smile and a hello for her.
Except Flo scowled at me.

"You needed to do a better job keeping those kids away from me."

Huh??? 

I was stunned by her brazen nastiness. All I could mutter was a voice-cracking "Excuse me."

"You heard me. We can't get blindsided by autograph hounds when we show up for these things."

In my own world of suitable responses, I wanted only one. 

"You fuckin' bitch!" 

But, I needed to be professional, even though I doubted if I would ever work with her, since she really hadn't done anything new after The $100,000 Pyramid in 1985. I also felt compelled to say something as a semi-representative for the parade.

I responded. "I am sorry, Miss Henderson. I did not see them. And I am sure they are very excited in seeing somebody they have enjoyed on one of their favorite reruns."

She dismissed me with a frown and a wave of her clenched fist. I hoped that she would choke on her Polident-cleaned dentures. Or maybe somebody would bash her skull in with a bottle of Wesson Oil. This woman had parlayed a career out of some crappy TV show that was almost 30 years old. She owes any celebrity to those kids who are, for some bizarre reason, one more generation enamored with that pre-teen-targeted sitcom.

I didn't work the parade the next year. Not if I couldn't live up to Florence Henderson's high standards.

Okay, since Florence has gone to that big parade in the sky, I guess I should be kinder.

Nah.

Dinner last night:  Taylor ham, cheese, and egg on pretzel bun.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - November 2020

Try this one on for size.  This movie debuted thirty years ago this month!

Dinner last night:  Thanksgiving leftovers.

Len's Jukebox of the Month - November 2020

Okay, I'll come clean.   I liked Michael Jackson when he was on his hot streak in the 80s.   A couple of his albums....okay cassette tapes...got played frequently on my...gasp...Walkman.

Of all his tunes back when, this might be my favorite.   Enjoy.

Dinner last night:  It was Thanksgiving.   What do you think?

The Thanksgiving Tradition

 It's my tradition every Thanksgiving to find yet one more clip of somebody staging "Turkey Lurkey Time" from the legendary musical "Promises, Promises."  Here's one from a recent Broadway showcase.   It looks like they are staging it in a gym.

Enjoy your meal today.  Hope you are socially distanced from calories.

Dinner last night:  Ramen noodle soup.

This Date in History - November 25

 

November 25 is not a good day to be on planet Earth and you'll soon know why.

571 BC:  SERVIUS TULLIUS, KING OF ROME, CELEBRATES HIS VICOTRY OVER THE ETRUSCANS.

With, I am guessing, lots of vino.

1120:  THE WHITE SHIP SINKS IN THE ENGLISH CHANNEL.

White Ships Matter.

1343:  A TSUNAMI DEVASTATES NAPLES AND AMALFI.

And here we go.

1487:  ELIZABETH OF YORK IS CROWNED QUEEN OF ENGLAND.

Love her peppermint patties.

1667:  A DEADLY EARTHQUAKE ROCKS SHEMAKHA, KILLING 80,000 PEOPLE.

Hard to believe there were 80,000 people in a country I never heard of.

1783:  AMERICAN REVOLUTION - THE LAST BRITISH TROOPS LEAVE NEW YORK CITY.

Can you blame them for sticking around?

1826:  THE GREEK FRIGATE HELLAS ARRIVES TO BECOME THE FIRST FLAGSHIP OF THE HELLENIC NAVY.

Go to Hellas.

1833:  A MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE ROCKS SUMATRA.

Now we're cooking.

1839:  A CYCLONE SLAMS INDIA, CLAIMING 300,000 LIVES.

Time to move.

1864:  AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - A GROUP OF CONFEDERATE OPERATIVES TRY TO BURN DOWN NEW YORK CITY.

How the heck did they get past New Jersey?

1874:  THE US GREENBACK PARTY IS ESTABLISHED, CONSISTING PRIMARILY OF FARMERS.

A third party never works.

1914:  BASEBALL STAR JOE DIMAGGIO IS BORN.

Starting his consecutive day streak which ends in 1999.

1918:  VOJVODINA PROCLAIMS ITS SECESSION FROM AUSTR-AHUNGARY TO JOIN THE KINGDOM OF SERBIA.

Is there such a thing as a Volvodinian?

1920:  RACE CAR DRIVER GASTON CHEVROLET DIES.

See the USA...in a casket.

1926:  TWENTY SEVEN TORNADOS BREAK OUT ACROSS THE US ON THANKSGIVING DAY.

Good luck getting that Bullwinkle balloon up in the air.

1933:  ACTRESS KATHRYN CROSBY IS BORN.

Meanwhile, future hubby Bing's career is already in full swing.

1947:  RED SCARE - THE HOLLYWOOD TEN ARE BLACKLISTED BY MOVIE STUDIOS.

Commie pinkos.   A sad day for freedom.

1949:  DANCER BILL ROBINSON DIES.

Shirley Temple is heartbroken.

1950:  THE GREAT STORMS OF NOVEMBER 1950 DEVASTATE THE NORTHEAST.

Just in case you're wondering why Grandma didn't make it over for turkey.

1952:  AGATHA CHRISTIE'S "THE MOUSETRAP" PLAY OPENS IN LONDON.  IT WILL BECOME THE LONGEST RUNNING PLAY IN HISTORY.

Good seats now available at TKTS.

1960:  JOHN F. KENNEDY JR IS BORN.

Future journalist, lawyer, publisher, and lousy pilot.  Also will have a shitty birthday in 1963.

1974:  BURMESE DIPLOMAT U THANT DIES.

If Ella Fitzgerald had married U Thant, she'd be Ella...

1981:  POPE JOHN PAUL II APPOINTS JOSEPH CARDINAL RATZINGER PREFECT OF THE CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH.\

The future Pope who quit.

1981:  ACTOR JACK ALBERTSON DIES.

Chico's man.

1984:  THIRTY-SIX MUSICIANS RECORD BAND AID'S "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS."

The song was a great listen the first thousand times.   Not so much after.

1986:  IRAN-CONTRA - US ATTORNEY GENERAL EDWIN MEESE ANNOUNCES THAT PROFITS FROM COVERT WEAPON SALES TO IRAN WERE ILLEGALLY DIVERTED TO CONTRA REBELS IN NICARAGUA.

What guns?

1987:  TYPHOON NINA DESTROYS THE PHILLIPINES.

More doppler weather.

1996:  AN ICE STORY STRIKES THE CENTRAL US.

Global cooling.

1998:  COMIC FLIP WILSON DIES.

Sadly, he took Geraldine with him.

2000:  THE EARTH QUAKE OF BAKU.

Wherever the hell that is.

2008:  CYCLONE NISHA STRIKES SRI LANKA.

And the hits just keep coming.

2009:  FREAK RAINS SWAMP THE CITY OF JEDDAH, SAUDI ARABIA.

I don't know about you, but I'm hiding under my bed today.

2016:  CUBAN DICTATOR FIDEL CASTRO DIES.

Okay, so the date isn't a complete loss.

2016:  ACTOR RON GLASS DIES.

Broken.

Dinner last night:  Grilled beef sausage.

Hollywood Then and Now - November 2020

There is many a CVS pharmacy now standing where a movie palace used to be.  Virtually every town in America had one.   My hometown of Mount Vernon, New York, had two of them...the Loews and the RKO Proctor.

Sadly, the aforementioned CVS or some reasonable facsimile replaced them.  New York City did a particularly bad job keeping these buildings erect.   Except for maybe Radio City Music Hall, none of the glorious NYC movie palaces either downtown or uptown are still around.

The film capital of the world, Hollywood, did manage to keep some of their legendary movie houses open.   Some still exist to this day.   I am happy to say that one such showplace, the Westwood Village Fox, is still around and thriving just two miles from my home.   

Of course, nothing is playing there right now in Pandemic-laden 2020.   But it is still usually the home of whatever blockbuster came out last weekend.  And, like the photo above from sometime in the 50s, it is the home of the occasional red carpet premiere.

But, as this photo from the 30s shows, it's been around even longer.

Today, the Westwood Village Fox looks very similar to its earlier incarnations.

From its "old school" lobby with stairs that take you up to....yes, a balcony, I am told the owners have done a magnificent job making sure "now" still looks like "then."

You can see how the auditorium simply oozes nostalgia.

But the best news of all...the Westwood Village Fox is still OPEN.  At least, when we have all been vaccinated.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 23, 2020

The classic Thanksgiving episode from WKRP.  If turkeys could only fly...

Dinner last night:  Ribeye steak with balsamic tomato jam.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Maskless Thanksgivings of Yesteryear

 

Remember when we could get together around the holidays?   Well, not so much this year.   All we have this Thanksgiving is...a few memories.

Ah, yes.

The smell of frying onions would wake me up around 8AM.  I was savoring a breakfast bowl of Rice Krispies and already my stomach was churning with this bizarre odor in the early morning.  It could mean only one thing.

It was Thanksgiving and Grandma was downstairs making the stuffing.

Our family Thanksgiving dinners were probably no different than yours.  Certainly not as warm and fuzzy as magazine ads would lead you to imagine.  Loving family members, heads bowed in grace, thanking the Lord for the food they were about to partake.  Good feelings all around.

Nah.  Maybe you heard the following, too.

"You didn't make turnips this year?  What's wrong with you?"

"The white meat is way too dry.  Did you bother to baste it?"

"I'm not sitting next to him/her unless they apologize."

Oh, yeah.  Norman Rockwell is a myth.

Our gatherings were frequently held at our house.  Grandma and my mother would co-op the cooking together as other ends of our family would come to call and dine around Grandma's big dining room table downstairs.  The fact that my mom and her mother-in-law were working together was news worth of Ripley's Believe It or Not.  Rarely on the same page, they were barely in the same book when it came to holiday cooking.  

I have an ultra-vivid memory of one such skirmish.  Mom and Grandma had such a dust-up that, when my grandmother turned her back, my mother picked up one of those Pillsbury biscuit cans and pretended to take a swing at her.  A tough vision for a seven-year-old.

"Oh, my God.  Mommy's gonna bash Grandma in the skull."

Or something like that.

I'd try to stay out of the line of fire by sequestering myself in front of the television and watching Bullwinkle float down Broadway.  Eventually, the other relatives would show up and even the arrival of Santa Claus at the end of the parade couldn't upstage that year's family drama.

"Stop telling me how to raise my kids."

"I will if you stop telling me how to raise my kids."

"If you've got gas, please go in the other room."

"Belch!"

And that's before dinner.

On our table were the usual staples.  Turnips and sweet potatoes, which I could never tell apart.  Green beans, which were usually fresh.  Mashed potatoes, which were never completely a unanimous favorite.

"I like them creamy."

"They're too lumpy."

"They're too dry."

"Did you forget the butter??"

And, amid all the fresh food, there was my favorite Thanksgiving dish.  Cranberry sauce.  Still is.  These days, I'm enjoying a homemade concoction of this fruit, usually mixed with oranges and cherries.  But it didn't get that fancy years ago.  Nope, my family always opted for the can.

The Ocean Spray can.

The one you opened with a can opener and the cranberry sauce slid out in one gloppy mold.  Just like we used to slip the dog food out of the Ken-L-Ration can.  With the cranberries, they didn't even bother to use a knife to slice it.  Somebody would simply take the metal lid and use that to cut up the mold.  If Martha Stewart had witnessed this scene, she would have used that same metal lid to slit her wrists.

But, to me, this was cranberry sauce and I loved it nonetheless.  Except, of course, when there was a much publicized recall of Ocean Spray Jellied Cranberries one Thanksgiving.  Seems there was some poison embedded or perhaps a soupcon of botulism.  Whatever the case, I was petrified.  The moratorium was quickly called off within a month, but that didn't placate me in the least.  

I would pass on cranberries for the next five years.  I was convinced that there was still one can out there that had been ignored by the inspectors.  And the way my grandmother used to buy in bulk, I was sure that food poisoning and/or death was no doubt lurking right around the corner of Grandma's pantry.

There was always plenty of food on our table.  One Thanksgiving, as we dined on our respective second helpings, we heard the faint sound of chewing in the kitchen.  My beagle Tuffy had hopped up on the table and was helping herself to anything she could sniff out.  Nobody took home leftovers that year.

And, of course, the most popular after dinner activity in our house was undoubtedly no different than in any American home.  From various corners of the house, we could hear the same refrain.

"ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......."

Dinner last night:  General Tsao's Chicken from Mandarette.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - November 2020

Question: with all the retro TV channels, how come nobody is airing "Picket Fences?"  One of my favorite shows from the 90s, replete with a lush theme song.

Dinner last night:  Grilled Gruyere cheese sandwich with bacon and onions from Clementine's.

Your Holiday Weekend Movie Guide for November 2020

 

One more month and who are we kidding?   Except for On Demand and streaming services, there are no new movies opening.   So we have to venture back in time.   One whole decade.   To November 2010.  Remember when?

Downtown New Rochelle, New York.  The main drag with three, count 'em, three different movie palaces within one city block.  Once the Mount Vernon theaters closed, this is where I could go to the movies while I was in college.  Now they're all gone, too.  Replaced by crappy multiplexes.

And showing even crappier movies.  Here's our monthly exercise.  I'll sift through the Los Angeles Time entertainment pages and give you my knee jerk reaction on what's good.  And, most of the time, what's bad.

Morning Glory:  Seen it.  If you've seen the trailer and you're thinking something clever and insightful like "Broadcast News," forget about it.  This is a pleasant diversion, but a waste of time overall with missed creative opportunities by the barrelful.  Harrison Ford actually looks like he doesn't want to be in the movie.  The morning show environment they try to create is so unrealistic.  Mary Richards' WJM newsroom had more going on.  And I only remember about four or five people working there.  

Today's Special:  An aspiring chef takes over his family's Indian restaurant.  I don't eat Indian food.  Nor do I see movies about it.

Made in Dagenham:  Female workers walk out of a Ford car plant to protest sexual discrimination in 1968.  A-ha.  Somebody figured just how cozy those Mustang back seats can be.

The Next Three Days:  Russell Crowe stars as a man who attempts to break his wife out of prison.  Really?  You are blowing a golden opportunity.  Let her stew in the klink and go out and buy yourself one of those snazzy Mustang back seats.

Unstoppable:  Denzel Washington in some stupid runaway train heist.  And the title is a perfect description of dopey Denzel's career.  He is unstoppable when it comes to making crappy movies like this.  Perhaps the most overrated actor in Hollywood.

Megamind:  Some cartoon or perhaps the title of Barack Obama's new autobiography.

Jackass 3D:  Another sequel of the MTV stunt show or perhaps the title of Joe Biden's new autobiography.

For Colored Girls: If a White filmmaker tried to use that title, he'd be run out of Hollywood.  Meanwhile, the real show here is probably watching the audience in the theater.  Whooping and hollering at the screen.  Estimated rate of hearing "you go, Girl!:" 2.5 times per minute.

Due Date:  As much as I enjoy Robert Downey Jr., I despise Zach Galifianakis, one of the many un-funny movie stars trolling the multiplexes.  This guy, Will Ferrell, Seth Rogan...they're all the same.  Vaseline-less prostate exams.

Skyline:  Another gloomy doomsday epic from some thirty-year-old genius.  Enough is enough.  In this one, aliens descend upon Los Angeles from the sky.  As opposed to their usual mode of entry: the car trunk of cousin Hector's 1973 Buick Le Sabre.

The Social Network:  Feel free to "friend" the movie.  Just avoid the real-life assholes who started Facebook.

Red:  Die Hard in a nursing home.  

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1:  The lemmings are already on line for this one.  This is the first film installment of the final chapter.  One more shameless example of Hollywood trying to milk as much out of this franchise as possible.  I'm surprised they didn't produce one movie for every chapter.  They could get at least thirty more flicks that would run until Harry Potter has to stow his magic broom in favor of a gas-powered Hoveround.

Life As We Know It:  Katherine Heigl stars, which is another way of saying "no fucking way."

Paranormal Activity 2:  Still haunting theaters, but I doubt it's making as much dough as the first one, which was a mess.  Essentially, it's up to you whether you want to pay twelve bucks to take a nap.

Jews and Baseball - An American Love Story:  A documentary about Jews and baseball.  Duh.  On my list.  I suspect we'll hear about Sandy Koufax, Shawn Green, Hank Greenberg, and some middling infielder named Ross Hashanah.

Queen of the Lot:  An up-and-coming actress travels to meet her movie star boyfriend's family.  It stars somebody named Tanna Frederick and we will now pause so that everybody can say "who."

Client 9: The Rise and Fall of Eliot Spitzer:  I hear this documentary is very pro-Spitzer.  How do you make a conviving politician who uses public funds to meet high profile call girls a sympathetic character?   That's like entrusting your homeowner's association treasury to Charles Rangel.

Hereafter:  I've seen this Clint Eastwood look at the afterlife and it's not as depressing as you would think.  Regardless of the subject matter, Clint always knows how to tell a story that holds your interest.  But, the real money is spent on the first ten minutes where he masterfully re-stages that Pacific tsunami with very little CGI.    

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest:  Got stung.  End of movie.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger:  Woody Allen's latest.  He makes all his movies now in either England or Spain because he can't get financial backing in the United States.  When you see this one as I did, you'll know why.  Nothing more than "Hannah and Her Sisters Goe to London," but only one-tenth as good.

Fair Game:  Sean Penn and Naomi Watts in some alleged "true story" about the Bush administration's inept attempt to find weapons of mass destruction.   When does Hollywood start to make movies about the missteps in the Obama White House?  The answer is probably never.

Dinner last night:  Beef sausage and salad.

Len's Recipe of the Month - November 2020

 

If you want a dessert alternative to pumpkin pie this socially distanced Thanksgiving, key lime pie might be your answer.   I was given this recipe by a neighbor and it was so delicious that friends are insisting that I make it for the holiday.

And it's so easy.

Now if you want to go through the trouble of making your own home made graham cracker pie crust, have yourself a time.   Keebler makes a good one and it is delicious.

Move right onto the filling.  First zest one lime into a large bowl.   You will need about three to five limes for this.   Have the limes and juice them to about 1/2 cup.  Pour into the bowl.

Add one 14 ounce can of sweetened condensed milk.  Now add the yolks of four eggs.  Blend this all together thoroughly.  Pour into the crust.

Place in an oven that has been preheated to 325 degrees.  Bake for about 15 minutes.   Remove and let cool for about two hours.

When the pie has cooled, you can make the topping.  In a bowl, pour in one cup of cold heavy cream and add 1/4 cup of sour cream.   Add one tablespoon of sugar.   With a beater or by hand, whisk together until soft peaks form.   Spread the topping on the pie and refrigerate for three hours before serving.   For the holidays, you can make this a day ahead.

And then thank me.

Dinner last night:  A shooting night so nothing really.

This Date in History - November 18

 

Happy birthday to Linda Evans.  It's not the same unless Joan Collins is pulling your hair.

326:  THE OLD ST. PETER'S BASILICA IS CONSECRATED.

They turned it into orange juice?  Oh, wait, I read that wrong.

1105:  MAGINULFO IS ELECTED THE ANTIPOPE.

How come we don't have an Antipresident?

1210:  POPE INNOCENT III EXCOMMUNICATES ROMAN EMPEROR OTTO IV.

Don't you wish there was a Pope Guilty?

1307:  WILLIAM TELL SHOOTS AN APPLE OFF HIS SON'S HEAD.

What a waste of fruit.

1493:  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS FIRST SIGHTS THE ISLAND NOW KNOWN AS PUERTO RICO.

And he's proud of this?

1494:  FRENCH KING CHARLES VIII OCCUPIES FLORENCE, ITALY.

There are worse choices to occupy.

1626:  ST. PETER'S BASILICA IS CONSECRATED.

It's the new basilica.   And no need to repeat the orange juice joke.

1790:  THE FUTURE FREDERICK II, THE KING OF PRUSSIA, IS GRANTED A ROYAL PARDON AND RELEASED FROM CONFINEMENT.

So I guess he was royally screwed.

1809:  IN A NAVAL ACTION DURING THE NAPOLEONIC WARS, FRENCH FRIGATES DEFEAT BRITISH EAST INDIAMEN IN THE BAY OF BENGAL.

Tigers can swim?  Admittedly, a weak joke but I have nothing else.

1865:  MARK TWAIN'S SHORT STORY "THE CELEBRATED JUMPING FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTY" IS PUBLISHED BY THE NEW YORK SATURDAY PRESS.

Wake me when Tom Sawyer shows up.

1883:  AMERICAN AND CANADIAN RAILROADS INSTITUTE FIVE STANDARD TIME ZONES, ENDING THE CONFUSION OF LOCAL TIME.

And they still don't run on time.

1903:  THE HAY-BUNAU-VARILLA TREATY IS SIGNED BY THE US AND PANAMA, GIVING THE UNITED STATES EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS OVER THE PANAMA CANAL.

If we build it, they will come.

1909:  SONGWRITER JOHNNY MERCER IS BORN.

Ac-cent-tchu-ate-ing the positive.

1918:  LATVIA DECLARES ITS INDEPENDENCE FROM RUSSIA.

Live and Lat live.

1923:  ASTRONAUT ALAN SHEPHERD IS BORN.

First American in space.  Not counting Flash Gordon.

1926:  GEORGE BERNARD SHAW REFUSES TO ACCEPT THE MONEY FOR HIS NOBEL PRIZE.

Fool.   

1928:  THE FIRST SOUND CARTOON "STEAMBOAT WILLIE" IS RELEASED BY WALT DISNEY.

Disney calls this date Mickey Mouse's birthday.

1939:  ACTRESS BRENDA VACCARO IS BORN.

Sharing it with Mickey.

1940:  WORLD WAR II - ADOLF HITLER AND ITALIAN FOREIGN MINISTER GALEAZZO CIANO MEET TO DISCUSS BENITO MUSSOLINI'S DISASTROUS ITALIAN INVASION OF GREECE.

What-a a mess-a.

1942:  ACTRESS LINDA EVANS IS BORN.

People totally forget she was on the Big Valley.

1942:  ACTRESS SUSAN SULLIVAN IS BORN.

Must be Prime Time Soap Actress Day.

1961:  US PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY SENDS 18,000 MILITARY ADVISORS TO SOUTH VIETNAM.

With 18,000 different opinions.

1963:  THE FIRST PUSH-BUTTON TELEPHONE GOES INTO SERVICE.

Weeping for the death of the rotary dial.

1969:  BUSINESSMAN JOSEPH P. KENNEDY SR. DIES.

Father of the dead President....and renowned Nazi sympathizer.

1970:  US PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ASKS CONGRESS FOR $155 MILLION IN AID FOR THE CAMBODIAN GOVERNMENT.

And people still are starving in America.

1978:  IN JONESTOWN, GUYANA, JIM JONES LED HIS PEOPLES TEMPLE IN A MASS SUICIDE THAT CLAIMED 918 LIVES.

The original drinking of the Kool Aid.

1988:  US PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN SIGNS A BILL INTO LAW ALLOWING THE DEATH PENALTY FOR DRUG TRAFFICKERS.

By his last year in office, I doubt he knew what the hell he was signing.

1991:  SHIITE MUSLIM KIDNAPPERS IN LEBANON RELEASE ANGLICAN CHURCH ENVOYS.

That's a lot of shiite.

1994:  MUSICIAN CAB CALLOWAY DIES.

Hi-de-ho.

1996:  A FIRE OCCURS ON A TRAIN TRAVELING THROUGH THE CHANNEL TUNNEL FROM FRANCE TO ENGLAND.

That tunnel is the last place I would want to be in a disaster.

2002:  ACTOR JAMES COBURN DIES.

He was one of the people who got out in "The Great Escape."  Um, not this time.

Dinner last night:  A rarity---Big Mac and fries.

Woody Allen's Movie for the Pandemic

 
For the past fifty or so years, Woody Allen rarely misses the opportunity to come out with an annual movie.  Even at the age of 84, he keeps churning them out one after another.   

It's been a long time since he came out with a really great one.   Most now are mediocre at best.  But, even a so so Woody Allen flick is ten times better than anything that is out in theaters.

But, wait, in COVID-19's 2020, it's not out in theaters.  These days, if there's that rare motion picture that comes out, you ask where it's playing and somebody will reply with the name of a streaming service.

Such is the cast with "A Rainy Day in New York."   And, Woody Allen or not, I'm so starved to see a new release that I jumped at the opportunity to plunk down my five on-demand dollars to see it.

And, predictably, the new Woody Allen release follows his recent pattern.   It's watchable, but ultimately...meh.

Once again, the writer and director is back in his old haunt of New York City and filming the city in such a way that you can't not fall in love with it all over again.  Back in the day, I spent many a day hanging around Gotham just like a Woody Allen character...or couple...would.   I still miss that place.

But, in reality, even the great Woodman might be running out of tales to set in Gotham City.  In this one, there's a young college student couple upstate.  Elle Fanning plays Ashleigh from Phoenix.   Timothee Chalamet is Gatsby (???!!) who grew up in Manhattan cafe society and acts as the Woody Allen cynical alter ego in this story.  He longs to show his girlfriend the city and, when she is assigned the opportunity to interview a moody film director for the school paper, there is the chance to do just that one weekend.

It's not long before their plans for Nirvana come splitting apart.   She winds up in all sorts of adventures with the director, his screenwriter, and some Hispanic super star actor.   Gatsby reunites with the younger sister of an old girlfriend and then winds up finding out some family secrets from his mom (the always welcome Cherry Jones).   A lot happens but really nothing much happens.  The Woody humor is there but it somehow doesn't have the same bite of...say...forty years ago.

And, oh, yeah, given the title, there is a lot of rain.  Indeed, when there are scenes of characters sitting in rain soaked cabs, you can still see a lot of sunlight.  Maybe that's meant as a metaphor.   Or maybe it's just bad movie continuity.

I'm always torn when I don't like a Woody Allen movie.   If nothing else, he always gives you something new to look at and your attention is always held.  That rarely happens.   Either in theaters or on demand.   That alone pumps up my rating a half-star.

And that explains why this largely mediocre movie gets...

LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - November 16, 2020

 Granny for President 2024!

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - A Timely Tale From Decades Ago

The house on the left was my childhood home on South 15th Avenue in Mount Vernon.  I was there until I was several years out of college.   It's the starting point for today's story, which is an apropos one given what has transpired in America the last two weeks.

So, follow me.

I moved out on my own when my grandmother died and the house was sold.   My father opted to move to the nearby Bronx.   I went all the way to North Broadway in Yonkers.

For reasons that went with my dad to Heaven, he didn't want the Bronx to be his official address.   So he would use my place in Yonkers as the place to get important mail, etc..   And he registered to vote in my district in Yonkers.

So, dutifully, my father would come up to Westchester every Election Day to vote at the local grade school.

My father passed away in 1991.  His new mailing address was Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York.

On the very first Election Day after Dad died, I went to the same grade school to vote.   The drill was very usual and familiar.   You went up to the desk where a couple of old lady volunteers sat with this big ledger.

You'd give your address.

The lady would open up the ledger and look up the address.   She would ask what my last name was.

I would tell her.

And then she asked if I was Leonard or Harold.   You see, my dad was still listed as a voter.   

And, for the next six years that I voted in Yonkers, I would get the same question every single year.

Was I Leonard or Harold?

In six years, the election rolls were never changed.  Despite the fact that my father's death certificate was properly filed and his Social Security discontinued.  But, apparently, there was no procedure in place to cross tab people who were alive to vote and those who were not.

For all I know, my father's name might still be there.  Heck, maybe I'm still listed given I still own an apartment there.

If you think this is just a singular story, the recent news about fraud should give you pause to think.  

And, oh, yeah, I have something to add.

You all know Don Knotts.   He actually used to live in the Los Angeles apartment that I currently reside in.   

Indeed, Don passed away about a month before I moved in.

I mention this because, about a month ago, why did I find down on the lobby table where undeliverable mail goes?   

A ballot to vote addressed to one Jesse Donald Knotts.

He died in 2006.

Mike drop.

Dinner last night:  Kung Pao Chicken from Chin Chin.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - November 2020

Eighty years ago, you could only see what was going in the world by watching these newsreels at the local movie house.

Dinner last night:  Grilled steak salad.

We Can Laugh Now

 

Dinner last night:  Ziti.

Ron Howard, Documentarian Extraordinaire

 

Ron Howard is a talent I really respect and he's most recently moved into the world of documentaries.   He's always had a flair for telling a good story and there is no better tale to tell than a real one.

His latest work in this genre is "Rebuilding Paradise" and it is a phenomenal motion picture.  Culled at first from a lot of phone videos, this film tells the story of the simple town of Paradise, California.   Indeed, a Mayberry that Ron himself might recall.  The simplicity is marred violently on November 8, 2018 when an innocent fire, sparked by Pacific Gas and Electric, spreads with Santa Ana winds and effectively destroys much of the town and kills 85 residents.

The opening ten minutes of iPhone footage takes you right through the path of the fire as residents flee and townsfolk like the local police work alongside first responding firemen to fight the menacing flames.

You see the morning after devastation.  Homes gone.  Half of the town's schools destroyed.   Cherished loved ones lost.   You feel every loss as if it was your own.

But, ultimately, this film is about hope and rebuilding.   You become acquainted with some of the Paradise residents like a patrolman and the former mayor and the superintendent of schools as they and others maneuver through the anger and grief and denial that accompanies all tragedies.   

The school superintendent's story is most remarkable as she works tirelessly to find classroom space for her schools and then manage to provide the high school seniors with a fitting graduation.   Her husband applauds her efforts at that ceremony.   He sadly dies of a heart attack three days later.

The folks of Paradise love what they had and they want to recreate it.   They lash out at the villainous electric company with the aid of one Erin Brockovich (who looks nothing like Julia Roberts).  Some leave town for good.  Others stay and, at the film's end, celebrate the one year anniversary of the tragedy with resilience and promise.

If there is to be an Oscar ceremony for 2020, please tell me that there is no way that "Rebuilding Paradise" is not nominated for Best Documentary.  It is one of the best ones I have seen in over a decade.   Kudos to Ron and most certainly to those Paradise denizens...every last one of them.

I saw the movie on-demand via Amazon Prime, but I believe the National Geographic channel has started showing it as well.   In whatever portal you visit, you must see "Rebuilding Paradise."

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Grilled bratwurst.