June: The Month of Brides

 

Udderly wrong.

 

She thinks this is the dark side.   Wait till she meets her in-laws.

Just what you want on your tuxedo...dove shit.

 I have no clue what is happening here, so feel free to make up your own back story.

Nice pear.

This wine needs to breathe a little longer.

 There are some who shouldn't announce their wedding in the newspapers.

"Honey, you see what those cows are doing?......"

 Another reason not to get married in China.

"My wife is a real piece of cake."

Dinner last night:   Grilled Taylor ham on English muffin.

He Remains...

 

...a shithead.

A zebra keeps his stripes and Jimmy Kimmel continues to be a phony and despicable human being.

Okay, this isn't about his recent "time out" because he made inappropriate jokes about the death of Charlie Kirk.   If you remember, that fiasco ran into tirades from people who said he has every right to say whatever is on his pea-sized mind.

And I would agree.   Freedom of speech.  But sometimes you can take that privilege a little too far.  Like last week when Kimmel joked about losing LA Mayor candidate Spencer Pratt loading up a U-haul to get out of town.   First off, the remark wasn't even remotely funny which has been par for the course from Kimmel the past ten years.

But, to throw salt into an open wound, little Jimmy should have realized that Pratt had nothing to put into said U-haul because he lost everything in the Palisades firm.

At what point do you stop, you obnoxious POS?   Hey, how does that medicine go down if you're asked to take it.   Shall I remind you and everybody else for that matter?

You're a punk and a shithead and an all-around bad guy.  But only people who work in your organization know that.   For the general public (at least those of us with a brain which leaves out your late night audience), you're just plain stupid.

Remember several years back when his infant son had some severe health issues?  The good news is that the kid is fine now until he ultimately realizes who his parents are. That intimate and personal family drama wound up in one of his monologues as he made a push for universal health care.  Really, Jimmy?   With the totally comprehensive health coverage you receive via your multiple unions, you want the rest of us to suffer through increased taxes?

Kimmel is an expert on your life and my life and proves it nightly as he mounts n his often tear-stained soap box about whatever Trump and Republicans did.  

Kimmel, of course, is way too stupid to comment on even the basic issues confronting America in 2026.  But he has a late night show and that's his bully pulpit.  I go back to the days of Johnny Carson in late night who knew his position in our lives was to entertain and not preach or indoctrinate.  

Getting sermonized by somebody like Jimmy Kimmel is laughable.   Remember the glass house and the bucket of stones?  I know a little about what goes on inside his empire because I know people who toiled in it.   Let's see.   The fact that he is a narcoleptic is well known.   Falling asleep in meetings at the drop of the hat.

But what about his wife?   The college intern he started to fuck and then made her head writer of his show?  The person who then unceremoniously fired several veteran writers because she didn't like them?   

I find it laughable when the Writers Guild comes out to defend his right to say anything largely because he has been involved in so many grievance filed by his writers.

Oh, yeah.   And what about all the illegal terminations he insisted on when people on staff didn't want to take a COVID vaccination.

I could go on and on because I know somebody who worked in that studio for a long time.

Frankly, it's time for Jimmy to pack up a U-haul.   Is it out of my realm to say that?

Um, freedom of speech.

Dinner last night:   Steak salad.

This Date in History - June 17

 

No, it's not his heavenly birthday.   Read on...

1462:  VLAD III THE IMPALER ATTEMPTS TO ASSASSINATE MEHMED II THE NIGHT ATTACK.

How come these guys sound like wrestlers?

1565: MATSUNAGE HISAHIDE ASSASSINATES THE 13TH ASHIKAGA SHOGUN, ASHIKAGA YOSHITERU.

If you say so...

1579:  SIR FRANCIS DRAKE CLAIMS A LAND HE CALLS NOVA ALBION (MODERN CALIFORNIA) FOR ENGLAND.

So they almost became the Nova Albion Giants.

1631:  MUMTAZ MAHAL DIES DURING CHILDBIRTH.  HER HUSBAND, SHAH JAHAN I, WILL SPEND THE NEXT 17 YEARS BUILDING HER MAUSOLEUM, THE TAJ MAHAL.

That's an awfully long time to keep a dead body around.

1775:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, COLONISTS INFLICT HEAVY CASUALTIES ON BRITISH FORCES WHILE LOSING THE BATTLE OF BUNKER HILL.

Take that, you blasted Redcoats!

1789:  IN FRANCE, THE THIRD ESTATE DECLARES ITSELF THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY.

Je ne care pas.

1839:  IN THE KINGDOM OF HAWAII, KAMEHAMEHA II ISSUES THE EDICT OF TOLERATION WHICH GIVES ROMAN CATHOLICS THE FREEDOM TO WORSHIP IN THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS.

The Kingdom of Hawaii?   Is there any other US state that was once a kingdom?  Not counting Texas, of course.

1876:  THE BATTLE OF THE ROSEBUD - 1,500 SIOUX AND CHEYENNE LED BY CRAZY HORSE BEAT BACK GENERAL CROOK'S FORCES IN MONTANA TERRITORY.

Sioux?  Si.

1877: THE BATTLE OF WHITE BIRD CANYON - THE NEZ PERCE DEFEAT THE US CAVALRY IN IDAHO.

So how come the Indians are always winning?

1885:  THE STATUE OF LIBERTY ARRIVES IN NEW YORK HARBOR.

And they kept it there when they found out it didn't exactly fit into anybody's living room.

1898:  THE US NAVY HOSPITAL CORPS IS ESTABLISHED.

Anchors and Band Aids away.

1901:  THE COLLEGE BOARD INTRODUCES ITS FIRST STANDARDIZED TEST, THE FORERUNNER TO THE SAT.

I thought that was the PSAT.

1930:  US PRESIDENT HERBERT HOOVER SIGNS THE SMOOT-HAWLEY TARIFF ACT INTO LAW.

I don't trust any legislation with the word "Smoot" in it.

1933:  IN KANSAS CITY, FOUR FBI AGENTS AND CAPTURED FUGITIVE FRANK NASH ARE GUNNED DOWN BY GANGSTERS ATTEMPTING TO FREE NASH.

Paging Eliot Ness.

1943:  POLITICIAN NEWT GINGRICH IS BORN.

Is it me or does this guy always look so much older than his age?

1943:  SINGER BARRY MANILOW IS BORN.

He finally came out of the closet.  As if we were surprised.

1953:  IN EAST GERMANY, THE SOVIET UNION ORDERS A DIVISION OF TROOPS INTO EAST BERLIN TO QUELL A REBELLION.

Yeah, that worked.   For a while.

1960: THE NEZ PERCE TRIBE IS AWARDED FOUR MILLION DOLLARS FOR 7 MILLION ACRES OF LAND.

So they beat us on this date in 1877 and also got oodles of money???

1963:  THE US SUPREME COURT RULES 8-1 IN ABINGTON SCHOOL DISTRICT VS. SCHEMPP AGAINST REQUIRING THE RECITING OF BIBLE VERSES AND THE LORD'S PRAYER IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

Do Moe and Larry know about this?

1971:  PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON DECLARES THE US WAR ON DRUGS.

Does that mean he'll be bugging the folks at Johnson and Johnson?

1972:  FIVE WHITE HOUSE OPERATIVES ARE ARRESTED FOR BURGLING THE OFFICES OF THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE.

Watergate...I think this turned out to be some sort of big deal.

1986:  SINGER KATE SMITH DIES.

God bless her...and America.

1987:  BASEBALL STAR AND MANAGER DICK HOWSER DIES.

Less than two years after guiding them to the 1985 World Series.

1994:  FOLLOWING A TELEVISED LOW-SPEED HIGHWAY CHASE, OJ SIMPSON IS ARRESTED FOR THE MURDER OF HIS WIFE NICOLE AND HER FRIEND RONALD GOLDMAN.

Guilty.  And now dead.

2008:  ACTRESS/DANCER CYD CHARISSE DIES.

She lived three blocks away from my last apartment.

2012:  RODNEY KING DIES.

Don't know how to describe him with an occupation.  I'll leave it at that.

2019:  DESIGNER GLORIA VANDERBILT DIES.

Who gave birth to that numbskull Anderson Cooper.

2020:  JEAN KENNEDY SMITH DIES.

At least it wasn't by gunshot.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.

Celebrate?

 

There is nothing more exhilarating than when your team wins it all.  You are on top of the world.   For my preferred favorite sport of baseball, I got to feel it with the Mets in 69 and *6.   Then, the Dodgers in 20, 24, and 25.  You walk on air.  You feel special.  And the biggest action I wanted to take was to buy some championship T-shirts and caps.

Never once did I desire to climb up a light pole.  Or taunt fans of the other team.  Or set a school bus on fire.

If you were paying attention last week, New York went crazy last week as they completed their quest for the NBA Championship after being shut out for five decades.    Despite the fact that I thoroughly hate pro basketball,  I wish the die-hard fans that stuck around this long.   Indeed, there's probably only about 18,000 fans in existence because that's how many true fans can fit into Madison Square Garden.

The rest are hoodlums.  Animals.  Creatures from all over the world.  And they use team victories as a means to loot.  Take out their evil aggressions.  Fuck over people who don't look like them.

Now, over the years, I've seen cities explode when their team wins it.  Indeed, smart cities prepare for this.  They bring in extra cops.  Try to prevent crowds from forming.   Even grease the light poles so that climbing is impossible.

But, not New York which is now run by one of the dumbest mayors ever.   He promotes outdoor watch parties which you just know is kerosene on an open flame.   And that's why you had what you saw last week in NY.

Okay, in my years, I've seen some mayhem when a baseball team wins the World Series or a football team wins the Super Bowl.   But, 99% of the time, when it's a full out destructive riot, you can count on this.   

It's the NBA.   

Do some research.  It's out there.  As the beloved Casey Stengel used to say, you could look it up.

So why is that?

Well, look at the pictures from last week.  The profiling is there.  Connect the dots.  Like the ones on a pair of dice.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Korean chicken.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - June 15, 2026

The month of weddings and graduations presses on with this annual marital blooper from me.  Splash!

Dinner last night:  Ribeye steak.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Here Comes June Again

 

Around this date every year decades ago, we'd arrive at a much desired destination. 

The last day of school.

This is a recent photo of my beloved elementary school.  Grimes on Eleventh Avenue and Second Street in Mount Vernon, New York.  The building above was the new additional wing when we were going there.  In 2014, it looks like Berlin 1946.  But, then again, so does everything in economic-war-torn Mount Vernon.

But I digress. 

You awaited this special June day for week.  Indeed, when the school would send you home with the school calendar for the year in September, you would immediately skip right through to the last page.   What was officially the last day of school?

Learning usually stopped in early June.  You were being prepared for those pesky final exams.  Or as grueling as that could possibly be in the fourth or fifth grade. 

With tests out of the way, the last week of school seemed to take forever.  There was a lot of goofing off.  I even think there were some half-days as we were being emotionally and psychologically prepared for the annual separation of teacher and student. 

The very last day was almost always a Friday.  And you basically went in for a whole half-hour.  You were told that you were being promoted.  Duh.  Of course, there were probably some who weren't, but I made it a habit to be good friends with only the smart kids.  Oh, and here's your report card.  The teacher would say it was a pleasure to know you and out the door you went. 

Okay, maybe it was just 25 minutes.

You'd scamper down the stairs because your mother or father was still there waiting for you.  They hadn't even bothered to go home.  Our personal tradition was then for my mom and me to go have breakfast at Stanley's Restaurant with another set or two of pupil and parent.

It was a glorious day with the expectation of two fun months coming up. 

Of course, on the walk home, I would hear the sentence that would be repeated several more times before we hit September.

"Don't think you're gonna hang around the house all day and watch television."

Oh.  And why not?

I wasn't sure what my folks expected me to do at the age of ten or eleven.  I was too old to be supervised and way too young for a summer job.  And, oh yeah, I had already been studying the TV Guide for the past two months to scope out and schedule my daytime summer viewing. 

With both my parents now working nights, I was going to presented with chores.  So, yes, I guess it was a summer job.  With the parental units as resident straw bosses.

"Go mow the back yard."

I would start the process.   My grandmother would watch me from her kitchen window.

"You're just making a mess.  Go in the house and watch television."

Okay, I gladly accept this mixed message.  It's time for Dick Van Dyke reruns anyway.

"Go clean out your bedroom closet."

This, of course, presented me with tons of distractions.   I'd invariably find a long forgotten toy and the nostalgia kept me occupied for hours while the rest of my closet was piled precariously on my bed.

"Look at the mess you made.  Go watch television."

Yes, Mom.  And it's time for Paul Lynde and the Hollywood Squares.

"Go to the grocery store and pick up what's on this list."

I'd survey the items.  There's be four packs of cigarettes for Mom and two six-packs of Schaefer Beer for Dad.  I'd present to Gene the local grocer.

"You know, I probably shouldn't sell you the beer and cigarettes."

He'd, of course, say that as he handed me the brown paper bag of groceries.  Replete with smokes and drinks.  This was my favorite errand to do and I could be home in ten minutes, which was ideal.  After all, Gene Rayburn and the Match Game were coming on.

On summer Thursdays, I also got to participate with my dad in the weekly assignment of taking my grandmother to the A & P.  For a while, we used the supermarket on Oak Street.  When that closed, Grandma's selection of a new supermarket was akin to deciding which day the Allied Forces should land on Normandy Beach.  My father suggested a new venue.  A Waldbaum's in downtown Mount Vernon.

"Waldbaum's?  That's only for Jews."

No, seriously, Grandma, anybody can go in there.  They don't necessarily check your religious denomination on the way in.  Eventually, she bought in and actually liked the then-fancy new surroundings.  My job was to push the basket as she selected the very same items week to week.  Each food product came with a price check.

"You see this Oscar Meyer's bologna?  Last week, it cost $ 2.59.  This week, it went to $ 2.65." 

This was my grandmother and her take on economics.  She couldn't read, but she sure could keep track of the week-to-week price increases on cold cuts.  I'd be amazed at how she could do this.

"You see this Welch's grape jelly?  Last week, it cost $1.19.  This week, it's 1.29."

Yeah, but you're getting a free Flintstones drinking glass in the deal.  She'd wave off my attempts at an explanation.

We'd come home after taking two hours to do an hour's worth of supermarket shopping.  Just in time for Grandma's afternoon stories.  I'd sit and watch Another World with her.  Complete with her commentary on every character.  She caught me up on the last year's misdeeds in Soap Opera Land.

"This guy is a crook.  He stole somebody's money."

"I don't like her.  She's a show off."

"This one's a real tramp."

Eventually, my summer world evolved into more fun, fun, fun till your daddy took your T-Bird away.  The chores tapered off.  The reminders that I wasn't going to be parked in front of the TV all summer subsided. 

I was always allowed to be a kid.  And some of those summers on 15th Avenue gave me memories that I'll never forget.  At least until when I share them here.

Dinner last night:  Korean Chicken from Chin Chin.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - June 2026

 A reminder of how much we lost when JFK was murdered.

Dinner last night:  Cheese and crackers.