The Sunday Memory Drawer - Springtime for...

 

Well, sort of. We were in the same place. We were literally one table away from each other. I could pretty much hear his whole conversation. If I talked as loud as he did, he could pretty much hear my whole conversation. And he could see what I was eating.

That's where the root of this story lies.

Years ago, I was lunching with a producer-friend of mine at the 20th Century Fox commissary. If you think this is particularly glamorous, you've been watching way too much Entertainment Tonight. I've eaten at both Fox and Warner Brothers, and all the people around you tend not to be stars. They're office people, prop masters, and computer programmers. The closest I ever got was seeing George Clooney stop at the cashier for a pack of Altoids.

But Mel Brooks behind me at Fox was very real. You couldn't miss the manic voice. It bounced off all four walls. I knew he was there, but my friend and I just kept talking. The trick is that you really try to zone in and not focus on the people around you. The waiter brought our food. Mine was a club sandwich and a side of French fries. I started to chow down. I noted that the cacophony at the table behind me had subsided. Mel was off peeing. But his companion was not. She tapped me on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, you're eating French fries."

Huh??

"You'll have to hide them before Mel comes back."

Huh???

"Mel loves French fries but he's on a very strict diet right now."

So???

"He can't see you eating French fries."

How does one respond to a request for covert dining? I wondered what kind of consequences would result if Mel Brooks saw my French fries.

"He'll go nuts."

Oh.

I had no idea why, but I suddenly became conscious of offending Hollywood royalty. I took a piece of leaf lettuce from my sandwich and tucked the French fries underneath it. Mel walked by a few moments later. There were no air raid sirens. He had seen nothing.

Until he left about ten minutes later.

In a comfort zone, I had gotten a little loose with my fries. One had sidled over to the other side of my plate. Mel saw it as he walked by.

An icy glare. His companion quickly hustled him out the door.

I exhaled. Another day in Hollywood.  Meanwhile, the man hopefully celebrates his 100th birthday this summer.

Dinner last night:  BBQ Chicken Salad from Maria's.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - February 2026

 Sadly, the only thing I remember about Inger Stevens and this series from 60 years ago is that she killed herself shortly thereafter.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

Smile!

 

More snapshots from Hell. I don't know why this baby is smiling. He's next.

For once, they're not looking through bars.

Toucans bite as she will soon painfully discover.

My three sons. An arsonist, a molester, and a serial killer.

It was a bitch sliding these things down my birth canal.

"Dad, I told you. I'm in the witness protection program. No photos!!!!!"

Dinner last night:  Grilled hamsteak.

Overheard...

I can only relay the conversation exactly as I heard it in Aisle 6 of Bristol Farms.  Two young female gremlins (if you saw them in person, you would agree with that description) were talking as they took turns looking at cans of crushed tomatoes.

Girl #1: It was a hassle, but it was so worth it for my own protection. It's not hard to get a temporary restraining order. If my boyfriend comes within 20 yards of me, I can call the cops.

Girl #2: The one I got for my last boyfriend, he couldn't come within 10 yards. And my friend's TRO on her ex-husband didn't allow him to be within one mile of her.

They moved onto Aisle 7.

So, how easy are these temporary restraining orders to get? 

Is there a department at Target for them? 

Or, maybe you can get the fancy ones at Nordstrom's. You know they are all so customer-service-oriented there. "I know you want the 30 yard one, but I think you'd be much happier with the 15 yard TRO. They are more popular these days."

Actually, I am going to request my own TRO and start with these two super market cookies.

Dinner last night:   Salad.

This Date in History - February 18

 

Happy birthday, John Travolta.  I love your outfit.

1229:  FREDERICK II, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, SIGNS A TEN YEAR TRUCE WITH AL-KAMIL, REGAINING JERUSALEM, NAZARETH, AND BETHLEHEM.

I'd walk a mile for Al-Kamil.

1268:  THE LIVONIAN BROTHERS OF THE SWORDS ARE DEFEATED IN THE BATTLE OF RAKVERE.  

Which means you get February 18 off if you're a Livonian or a Rakverian.

1478:  GEORGE, DUKE OF CLARENCE, IS CONVICTED OF TREASON AND EXECUTED IN PRIVATE AT THE TOWER OF LONDON.

Today it would be a sweeps special on Fox.

1546:  MARTIN LUTHER DIES.

Thanks to him, I have a church to go to.

1564:  PAINTER MICHELANGELO DIES.

Come on down, we've decided to wallpaper.

1766:  A MUTINY BY CAPTIVE MALAGASY BEGINS AT SEA ON THE SLAVE SHIP MEERMIN.  

Mutiny on the Meermin.   Doesn't roll off your tongue like the Clark Gable movie.

1781:  CAPTAIN THOMAS SHIRLEY OPENS HIS EXPEDITION AGAINST DUTCH COLONIAL OUTPOSTS ON THE GOLD COAST OF AFRICA.

Don't call him Shirley.

1797:  SIR RALPH ABERCROMBY AND A FLEET OF 18 BRITISH WARSHIPS INVADE TRINIDAD.

Any word from Fitch?

1861:  IN ALABAMA, JEFFERSON DAVIS IS INAUGURATED AS THE PROVISIONAL PRESIDENT OF THE CONFEDERATE STATE.

So who will be the president of Texas when they secede from the union?

1865:  UNION FORCES UNDER GENERAL WILLIAM SHERMAN SET THE SOUTH CAROLINA STATE HOUSE ON FIRE DURING THE BURNING OF COLUMBIA.

Well, there goes the housing market in Columbia.

1885:  THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN BY MARK TWAIN IS PUBLISHED.  

Cliff Notes are out when?

1890:  ACTOR ADOLPHE MENJOU IS BORN.

He was in every movie made in the 1930s.

1892:  POLITICIAN WENDELL WILLKIE IS BORN.

Nobody Won With Willkie.

1913:  PEDRO LASCURAIN BECOMES PRESIDENT OF MEXICO FOR 45 MINUTES---THE SHORTEST TERM OF ANY PRESIDENT OF ANY COUNTRY.

He was double parked.

1919:  ACTOR JACK PALANCE IS BORN.

And immediately did ten push-ups.

1920:  TV GAME SHOW HOST BILL CULLEN IS BORN.

I'll freeze, Bill.

1925:  ACTOR GEORGE KENNEDY IS BORN.

Lord, he's old.

1930:  WHILE STUDYING PHOTOGRAPHS, CLYDE TOMBAUGH DISCOVERS PLUTO.

I thought that was Walt Disney.

1930:  ELM FARM OLLIE BECOMES THE FIRST COW TO FLY AND BE MILKED IN AN AIRCRAFT.

Talk about your Stupid Pet Tricks.

1933:  SINGER (?) YOKO ONO IS BORN.

She killed more Beatles than a can of Raid.

1943:  THE NAZIS ARREST THE MEMBERS OF THE WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT.

White Rose?   Did they used to make ginger ale?

1943:  JOSEPH GOEBBELS DELIVERS HIS SPORTPALAST SPEECH.

And he goebbeled all the way through it.

1954:  THE FIRST CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY IS ESTABLISHED IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA.

Ironically, this occurs on the same day as...

1954:  ACTOR JOHN TRAVOLTA IS BORN.

Who knew???

1957:  WALTER JAMES BOLTON BECOMES THE LAST PERSON LEGALLY EXECUTED IN NEW ZEALAND.

I guess the key word here is "legally."

1957:  TV STAR VANNA WHITE IS BORN.

H_PP_ _I__HD_Y!

1970:  THE CHICAGO SEVEN ARE FOUND NOT GUILTY OF CONSPIRING TO INCITE RIOTS AT THE 1968 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

Yeah, sure.

1977:  ACTOR ANDY DEVINE DIES.

Daughter Loretta must be distraught.

1979:  SNOW FALLS IN THE SAHARA DESERT FOR THE ONLY TIME IN HISTORY.

Put some snow chains on those camels.

1991:  THE IRA EXPLODES BOMBS IN THE EARLY MORNING AT PADDINGTON STATION IN LONDON.

Hope the teddy bear wasn't hurt.

1998:  SPORTSCASTER HARRY CARAY DIES.

No formaldehyde needed to preserve him.

2001:  SEVEN-TIME NASCAR CHAMPION DALE EARNHARDT DIES IN AN ACCIDENT DURING THE DAYTONA 500.

What color flag do they wave for that?

2006:  SINGER BILL COWSILL DIES.

The Rain, The Park, and Death.

2025:  ACTOR GENE HACKMAN DIES.

At least, we think that's the date.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

The Claire Danes School of Acting

 

If such a school existed, there would be a limited curriculum.

Anguish 101.

Advanced Anguish.

Master Class in Anguish.

Don't get me wrong.  I think she's a fine actress.  But she does have a habit of taking roles that are...well...anguished.   I mean she had the same look for five seasons of "Homeland."  In this recent Netflix limited season, she does take it one step further and plays...wait for it...an anguished lesbian.  I would love to see her branch out and do a screwball comedy with Will Farrell.

That said, "The Beast in Me" is another dark series from Netflix and, on the recommendation of friends, I gave it a shot.   Yes, it is dark but the plot is compelling and sucked me in.  Sadly, I must report that I watched all eight episodes over four days.

I hate when that happens.

Danes plays an....ANGUISHED...author with a new neighbor out on Long Island.  The new dude next door is a creepy and sinister urban developer played by Matthew Rhys and he has some skeletons in his closet.   One just might be the real skeleton of his first wife who "disappeared" several years ago.   Meanwhile, Danes has her own brand of anguish dealing with the local kid who accidentally killed her son in a car crash several years ago.

Somehow, Nil Jarvis the businessman and Danes' author character connect and she is contracted to write his bio.   Of course, to do that, she must learn the story behind the first wife's disappearance.   So, everybody has a nasty angle here and the story peels back slowly like an onion.  Even though it is dark, there is something about the story that sucks you in like a Dyson floor cleaner.  And the good news is that the tale does end definitely after eight episodes which means you won't get trapped with several sequels over the next five years.

Check it out.  He said in anguish.

Dinner last night:  Leftover beef with Chinese noodles.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - February 16, 2026

 The February weather videos continue with this snapshot of bad drivers in Canada.

Dinner last night:  Roast chicken dinner at the home of Amir and Kevin.