This Date in History - August 12

 

Happy birthday, George Hamilton.   A reminder to all about SPF 45.

30 BC:  CLEOPATRA, THE LAST RULER OF THE EGYPTIAN PTOLEMAIC DYNASTY, COMMITS SUICIDE, ALLEGEDLY BY AN ASP BITE.

With Liz Taylor in the screen role, they could have sung the ditty from "A Chorus Line."  "Tits and Asp."

1121:  THE GEORGIAN ARMY UNDER KING DAVID IV WINS A DECISIVE VICTORY OVER THE FAMOUS SELJUK COMMANDER ILGHAZI.

Was Il later married to Ben?  I'll wait.

1480:  OTTOMAN TROOPS BEHEAD 800 CHRISTIANS FROM REFUSING TO CONVERT TO ISLAM.

Oh, just like in 2015.

1624:  THE PRESIDENT OF LOUIS XIII OF FRANCE'S ROYAL COUNCIL IS ARRESTED, LEAVING CARDINAL RICHELIEU IN THE ROLE OF THE KING'S PRINCIPAL MINISTER.  

Oh, no.  Not him.  Realistically, I had nothing else to write for this.

1676:  PRAYING INDIAN JOHN ALDERMAN SHOOTS AND KILLS METACOMET, THE WAMPANOAG WAR CHIEF.

Maybe there was another war chief named Ajax.   Again, I'll wait.

1687:  CHARLES OF LORRAINE DEFEATS THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE.

And later opened up his own hair salon.

1851:  ISAAC SINGER IS GRANTED A PATENT FOR HIS SEWING MACHINE.

I need the pants by Monday.

1881:  PRODUCER CECIL B. DEMILLE IS BORN.

The greatest schmo on earth.

1883:  ACTRESS MARION LORNE IS BORN.

Aunt Clara on Bewitcher.

1883:  THE LAST QUAAGA DIES AT A NETHERLANDS ZOO.

Rendering the next-to-last quaaga a bitter footnote.

1898:  THE HAWAIIAN FLAG IS LOWERED FROM A PALACE AND REPLACED WITH THE US FLAG TO SIGNIFY THE TRANSFER OF SOVEREIGNTY FROM THE REPUBLIC OF HAWAII TO THE US.

Aloha.

1910:  ACTRESS JANE WYATT IS BORN.

Father knew best.  Mother was better looking.

1911:  ACTOR CANTINFLAS IS BORN.

He was this big deal in Mexico.

1914:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THE UNITED KINGDOM DECLARES WAR ON AUSTRIA AND HUNGARY.

No goulash for the duration.

1929:  SINGER BUCK OWENS IS BORN.

Buckaroos.

1930:  MATHEMATICIAN JACQUES TITS IS BORN.

Included only because, for the first time ever in this blog, I have used the words Tits twice in one entry.

1939:  "ACTOR" GEORGE HAMILTON IS BORN.

Note the quotation marks.

1944:  SS TROOPS MASSACRE 560 PEOPLE IN SANT'ANNA DI STAZZEMA.

As if this was news.

1944:  NAZI TROOPS END THE WEEK-LONG WOLA MASSACRES, WHICH TOTALLY ABOUT 40,000 PEOPLE KILLED.

More murders.  Talk about one-trick-ponies.

1950:  DURING THE KOREAN WAR, AMERICAN POWS ARE MASSACRED BY THE NORTH KOREAN ARMY.

Today, they just hack our computers.

1952:  THE NIGHT OF THE MURDERED POETS - THIRTEEN PROMINENT JEWISH INTELLECTUALS ARE KILLED IN MOSCOW.

For all those who thought this stopped in 1945.

1958:  ART KANE PHOTOGRAPHS 57 NOTABLE JAZZ MUSICIANS IN THE BLACK AND WHITE GROUP PORTRAIT "A GREAT DAY IN HARLEM."

Coffee table book to follow.

1964:  SOUTH AFRICA IS BANNED FROM THE OLYMPIC GAMES DUE TO THE COUNTRY'S RACIST POLICIES.

Duh.

1964:  CHARLIE WILSON, ONE OF THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERS, ESCAPES FROM PRISON IN ENGLAND.

Since that happened in 1963, that didn't take him long.

1964:  AUTHOR IAN FLEMING DIES.

James Bond Will Not Return.

1981:  THE IBM PERSONAL COMPUTER IS RELEASED.

Whatever happened to IBM?

1982: ACTOR HENRY FONDA DIES.

Now what's all this crud about no movie tonight?

1990:  SUE, THE LARGEST AND MOST COMPLETE TYRANNOSAURUS REX SKELETON FOUND TO DATE, IS DISCOVERED BY SUE HENDRICKSON IN SOUTH DAKOTA.

Wonder how she came up with that name?

1994:  MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYERS GO ON STRIKE AND THIS WILL CANCEL THE 1994 WORLD SERIES.

A true black eye from which they have only partially recovered.

2000:  ACTRESS LORETTA YOUNG DIES.

The door closes for the last time.

2002:  BASEBALL STAR ENOS SLAUGHTER DIES.

He never went on strike.

2007: TV STAR MERV GRIFFIN DIES.

He will not be back after this commercial message.

2009:  GUITARIST LES PAUL DIES.

Strum this.

2014:  ACTRESS LAUREN BACALL DIES.

Thought she was dead long before she was.  Meanwhile, I heard she was a real bitch.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pasta.

Summer Blockbuster

 

It used to happen every year.   There would be that one summer movie that everybody would flock to.  I can remember the questions now.

"Have you seen Jaws yet?'

"Have you seen Raiders of the Lost Ark yet?"

"Have you seen ET yet?"

You'd feel like a pariah if you didn't.  Now you will note that all three of the above were directed by Steven Spielberg and his 2026 contribution to the summer was a dud.  But we now have super-impressed-with-himself Christopher Nolan and damned if he didn't turn out a blockbuster for our current hot weather cinema attendance.

"Have you seen the Odyssey yet?"

Welp, for the longest time, I didn't.   But I was noting who I was getting the question from.   Not just the 12-24 year old who goes every week to see the latest Marvel Comic extravaganza.  Nope, it was people my age.  People older than that.  It was the talk of my PT clinic where the average patient age is probably over 75.

I countered that the movie was almost three hours long.   To a person, I was told that the running time zipped along and that the film reminded them of one of those Cecil B DeMille cast of thousands epic.

While I did not see it in IMAX, I did watch "The Odyssey" in 70 MM and that was perfectly fine.   And, truth be told, the hype is warranted.   

Like Mikey on the old cereal commercial, I liked it.  I really liked it.  And I didn't have to pee once.

Oh, it's got the classic over-bearing directorial touch of Mr. Nolan.  And some of the acting cameos slipped by too quickly.  But it was very much reminiscent of the book everybody read in 10th grade English.  And I stared at the screen fervently as I was afraid I would miss something.

Now, in classic Nolan style, he does jump around in time a lot and I was told pre-film that you could miss something in the story.   But I found it very easy to follow by keeping track of star Matt Damon's beard.  The amount of white hair pointed you to the time period you were watching.

Because of the hyper buzz of this film, I'm pretty sure it will sweep the Oscars.  And, for once in a long, long time of summers, the awards might be warranted.

LEN'S RATING:  Three and a half stars.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 10, 2026

 Saluting the Marx Brothers this month.   Here's a great clip from "A Day at the Races."  Get your tutsi frutsi ice cream.

Dinner last night:  Stuffed beef tenderloin.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - It's Not Just Foil

 

This is one of my dad's Technicolor photographs.   He was probably trying his new Argus Camera out on my grandmother's roses.   This was part of the garden near our back steps.  Oh, wait, our back "stoop."  Notice how the bricks of the stairs blends in with the bricks of the house.

Except the house wasn't made of brick.  It was this type of shingle that made it look brick but it really wasn't. 

It was one of the reasons why my father and mother questioned whether my grandparents should have bought the house on South Fifteenth Avenue of Mount Vernon, New York at all.  Besides its location adjacent to a major thoroughfare and proximity to a bunch of apartment buildings, I have been told that my folks thought the house needed major repairs.   While my parents weren't buying the house itself, they would be renting out the second floor and I suppose they felt they had a say in it all.

As a little kid, I learned myself about all the warts. 

The back door always got stuck.

Some of the smaller windows didn't open.

There was a part of the banister going upstairs that always came loose. 

Little things would break here and there.  I always made sure that I wasn't around for the inevitable "what did you do now."   I, of course, had my answer always well rehearsed.

"I didn't do it.  It was like that already."

The phony brick façade was just one more thing wrong with our house.   But my grandparents had bought it dirt cheap.  And so was the rent my folks were paying.

Of course, the crumbling brick shingles did get an assist from me as they hit the ground.

I used to love and mimic baseball games in my backyard.   My "catcher" was the brick stoop.  It made for a great strike zone.   Except when I missed the stoop and would hit the side of the house.   Part of the old shingle would crack and fall off.  Invariably, my grandmother would be in the kitchen nearby.

"What are you doing?"

Nothing. 

Of course, nothing could be easily found lying at the base of the house.  Little pieces of brick shingles lying on the ground.   I'd quickly clean them up and deposit in the garbage can.   Of course, with my luck, Grandma would then come out with a bag of her own trash.

"What's this in here?"

Um, nothing.

This scene would be repeated over and over for about three summers.   Meanwhile, thanks to me and just general wear and tear, the shingles that adorned our house were slowly coming off.  It was the mirror reverse of the Picture of Dorian Gray.   Our house was starting to look uglier and uglier every single day.

But, then, my grandfather died.  The very next summer, as if she needed to consume herself with something or anything else, Grandma made a bold decision.

"I want to put aluminum siding on the house."

Huh?   I thought that.   My father actually said it.  

Apparently, unbeknownst to all of us, Grandma had answered the front door to a salesman selling the stuff.  Of course, this is never a good idea, especially if you're a senior citizen.  But, God bless my grandmother, she was a house afire when she got a bug in her head.   Once she wanted something done, she would not rest until it happened.

I think my dad then checked out the aluminum siding guy and he passed the sniff test.  Grandma's reasoning was that she wanted to do something to make the house look nicer.  And, oh, she had the money.    After all, the siding would help keep the house cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.   My mom got a nasty chuckle out of the latter.

"She never puts the heat on in the winter anyway."

Okay, starting as soon as my school was out in June, our house was descended upon by a phalanx of workers who would be there the better part of the summer.  Scaffolding was set up all over and you could barely see the house underneath it all.  There seemed to be about a dozen craftsmen but, in reality, just two or three of them.  I noticed one starting to scrape the crummy brick shingles off.   I offered to help.   I was an expert.

I am guessing that, in 2026, a house being redone with aluminum siding is probably a two day project.  But, back then, everybody was Eldin from "Murphy Brown."   Working with precision, but at a snail's pace.   There were few hiccups in the long process, except for the day when Grandma complained that a worker was on the scaffold outside her bathroom window when she was in the tub.   Um, the window is frosted glass.  He can't see a thing.

"Oh, you never mind.  He was looking."

When they were done, the removal of the scaffolding took almost as long.  Of course, with the house done, it looked brand new.   Inside, the banister still was loose.  The windows still stuck.   But, in its two-toned aluminum siding of green and white, Grandma was now so proud of her house.

The stuff they used must have been top notch.  Almost six decades later, it still looks the same.

That's because I didn't get a chance to do any damage.  On the very first day I tried to resume my backyard baseball game, there was a stern voice from Grandma's kitchen.

"Don't put any dents in my house."

Dinner last night:   Hot dog at the movies.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - August 2026

 In 2026, we are aligned with Japan...and taking all their baseball players.

Dinner last night:  Grilled gruyere cheese and bacon sandwich.

Now Here's A Dumb Idea

 

Maybe you've seen the advertisements.   These are called Urgent Care Home kits.  Don't want to see a professional at your local urgent care center?  Well, you can be the doctor and save some dough?  This package has all you need including a variety of antibiotics.

Yes, antibiotics.   Because it's really a good idea to take any kind of drugs for any urgent care situation.  Don't they know about drug side effects?   Perhaps you're taking some long standing medication but you come down with a cold.   Aunt Wilma just might have the pill for what ails you.

Why do I see this as a bad idea becoming even more lethal?  But, then again, there will soon now be a home remedy for anything.   Check this out.

An urgent care kit specifically for gunshot wounds.

Do they include a bullet you can bite on?

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Your Fotomat Favorites for August 2026

 

"I've gotta pee.   Will this dress mix in the Port-O-San?"

"Bang, I caught a wife."

"Let me tell you how to raise those kids."

"Go away.  I'm off the clock."

"No, I don't tease my hair."

"I can see Mom's..."

"I'd like you to meet my sister Howard Stern."

"What do you mean...smile?"

Dinner last night:  Dan dan noodles.