Now Here's A Dumb Idea

 

Maybe you've seen the advertisements.   These are called Urgent Care Home kits.  Don't want to see a professional at your local urgent care center?  Well, you can be the doctor and save some dough?  This package has all you need including a variety of antibiotics.

Yes, antibiotics.   Because it's really a good idea to take any kind of drugs for any urgent care situation.  Don't they know about drug side effects?   Perhaps you're taking some long standing medication but you come down with a cold.   Aunt Wilma just might have the pill for what ails you.

Why do I see this as a bad idea becoming even more lethal?  But, then again, there will soon now be a home remedy for anything.   Check this out.

An urgent care kit specifically for gunshot wounds.

Do they include a bullet you can bite on?

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

This Date in History - August 5

 

Happy birthday to Maureen McCormick.  Oh, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

25:  GUANGWU CLAIMS THE THRONE AS EMPEROR AFTER A PERIOD OF POLITICAL TURMOIL, RESTORING THE HAN DYNASTY.

I wonder if Han Dynasty delivers.

642:  BATTLE OF MASERFIELD - PENDA OF MERCIA AND KILLS OSWALD OF NORTHUMBRIA.

Oh, Mercia, Mercia, Mercia.

1100:  HENRY I IS CROWNED KING OF ENGLAND.

Seven more King Henrys until we get to the real fun one.

1305:  WILLIAM WALLACE, WHO LED THE SCOTTISH RESISTANCE AGAINST ENGLAND, IS CAPTURED AND TRANSPORTED TO LONDON WHERE HE IS PUT ON TRIAL AND EXECUTED.

All in one day???

1583:  SIR HUMPHREY GILBERT ESTABLISHES THE FIRST ENGLISH COLONY IN NORTH AMERICA, AT WHAT IS NOW ST. JOHN'S, NEWFOUNDLAND, AND LABRADOR.

...retriever.

1620:  THE MAYFLOWER DEPARTS FROM ENGLAND ON ITS FIRST ATTEMPT TO REACH NORTH AMERICA.

So does this mean they didn't get there the first time?

1735:  FREEDOM OF THE PRESS - NEW YORK WEEKLY JOURNAL WRITER JOHN PETER ZENGER IS ACQUITTED OF SEDITIOUS LIBEL AGAINST THE ROYAL GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK, ON THE BASIS THAT WHAT HE HAD PUBLISHED WAS TRUE.

Back when journalism was still alive.

1763:  BRITISH FORCES LED BY HENRY BOUQUET DEFEAT CHIEF PONTIAC'S INDIANS AT BUSHY RUN.

I assume they were beat in battle and not on the softball field.

1772:  THE FIRST PARTITION OF POLAND BEGINS.

So before this, there were no walls in Poland?

1858:  CYRUS WEST FIELD AND OTHERS COMPLETE THE FIRST TRANSATLANTIC TELEGRAPH CABLE AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS.  IT WILL OPERATE FOR LESS THAN A MONTH.

So overall, this was not so successful.

1861:  IN ORDER TO HELP PAY FOR THE CIVIL WAR EFFORT, THE US GOVERNMENT LEVIES THE FIRST INCOME TAX AS PART OF THE REVENUE ACT OF 1861.

Yeah, this won't be the first time.

1861:  THE US ARMY ABOLISHES FLOGGING.

That's a shame.

1874:  JAPAN LAUNCHES ITS POSTAL SAVINGS SYSTEM, MODELED AFTER A SIMILAR SYSTEM IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.

No clue what this means and whether or not I care.

1882:  THE STANDARD OIL OF NEW JERSEY IS ESTABLISHED.

Hence those big tanks on the side of the turnpike.

1884:  THE CORNERSTONE FOR THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS LAID ON LIBERTY ISLAND.

With that torch, she could light a cigarette after being laid.

1888:  BERTHA BENZ DRIVES FROM MANNHEIM IN THE FIRST LONG DISTANCE AUTO TRIP.

I don't know which joke to go with.  1.  Bertha, meet Mercedes.  Or..... 2. Driving from Mannheim, did she use a steamroller.

1906:  DIRECTOR/ACTOR JOHN HUSTON IS BORN.

Badges.  We don't need no stinkin' badges.

1911:  ACTOR ROBERT TAYLOR IS BORN.

I had two jokes on one entry above.  For this one, I have none.

1914:  IN CLEVELAND, OHIO, THE FIRST ELECTRIC TRAFFIC LIGHT IS INSTALLED.  

Which means that there was a person who was the first not to stop at it.

1926:  HARRY HOUDINI PERFORMS HIS GREATEST FEAT, SPENDING 91 MINUTES UNDERWATER IN A SEALED TANK BEFORE ESCAPING.

I've sat on the runway at JFK longer.

1930:  ASTRONAUT NEIL ARMSTRONG IS BORN.

One small step, one big push from Mommy...

1943:  BASEBALL PLAYER NELSON BRILES IS BORN.

An average pitcher who I once interviewed mainly because he did a Paul Lynde impersonation.

1944:  WORLD WAR II - POSSIBLY THE BIGGEST PRISON BREAKOUT IN HISTORY OCCURS AS 545 JAPANESE POWS ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE IN AUSTRALIA.

Australia?  Why would you want to leave?

1944:  WORLD WAR II - THE NAZIS BEGIN A WEEK-LONG MASSACRE OF ANYWHERE BETWEEN 40,000 AND 100,000 CIVILIANS AND PRISONERS IN POLAND.

Now that is a wild swing in estimates.

1945:  ACTRESS LONI ANDERSON IS BORN.

If she wore a t-shirt for her old show, it would read W k r P.  Think about it.

1956:  ACTRESS MAUREEN MCCORMICK IS BORN.

She was hot, but I really dug Jan with those glasses.

1957:  AMERICAN BANDSTAND DEBUTS ON THE ABC TELEVISION NETWORK.

Dick Clark had a free hour to kill every week.

1958:  HERBERT HOOVER ECLIPSES JOHN ADAMS AS HAVING THE LONGEST RETIREMENT OF ANY FORMER PRESIDENT UNTIL THAT TIME.  IT HAS SINCE BEEN ECLIPSED BY JIMMY CARTER.

The latter couldn't have been retired soon enough.

1962:  ACTRESS MARILYN MONROE DIES.

Dies.  Ha ha.

1969: MARINER 7 MAKES ITS CLOSEST FLY-BY OF MARS.

I wonder if man will ever make this trip.

1981:  PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN FIRES 11,359 STRIKING AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS WHO IGNORED HIS ORDER FOR THEM TO RETURN TO WORK.

That's one long line at the unemployment office.

2000:  ACTOR ALEC GUINNESS DIES.

Sir Alec to you.

2002:  SPORTSCASTER CHICK HEARN DIES.

Really in that refrigerator now.

2018:  ACTRESS CHARLOTTE RAE DIES.

The Facts of.....too easy.

2019:  AUTHOR TONI MORRISON DIES.

Also the inventor of the home permanent.

Dinner last night:   Sandwich.

Moron of the Month - August 2026

 

Yeah, I know.   She's been here before.   She's the stupidity that just keeps on giving.

Truth be told, we should have enjoyed her exile while she vacated the United States for Ireland.   I thought it was permanent.   Hmm, well the joke's on me.  Because Rosie is back in America for more.

There are so many horrible stories from the past that detail what a disgusting human being she is.   Heck, I've got one of my own when I witnessed her rant and rave on a Barnes and Noble college student/clerk at the Palisades Mall in Nyack.  Friends saw similar behavior in other venues.   Frankly, her departure from America because of her hatred of Trump actually was a highlight of his first term as President.  

She couldn't bear to live here anymore.   Hooray!

But apparently she couldn't make any money over there.  Or maybe Ireland ran out of Ring Dings.   Because the United States ain't looking so bad when you have other dummies here signing her up for a lecture tour.  Or ABC signing up to take over shithead Jimmy Kimmel's show while he's on vacation from whatever work he is qualified to do.   Hell, Rosie's even hinting at a revisit of her old morning gabfest.  Or maybe she's going to join the other empty vaginas on "The View."

I can't believe the groundswell of support in welcoming this "See You Next Tuesday" back to America.   She says she's here to help restore hope in the United States.

My hope is that she loses her luggage on the way here.  Meanwhile, if you want to revisit my encounter with Rosie, scroll back 19 years to one of my very first blog entries.

https://lenspeaks.blogspot.com/2007/04/shaddap.html

Dinner last night:  BLT salad.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 3, 2026

 Let's go real retro this month and spend August with the Marx Brothers.  Starting with the stateroom scene from "A Night at the Opera."

Dinner last night:  Flank steak and tomato salad.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Shipoopi

 

There are movies that feel like old friends.  No matter how many times you visit with it, there are new discoveries.  Or old memories that are warm and fuzzy.  You just can't get enough of them.  

For me, "The Music Man" is that kind of trusted celluloid pal.    I've seen it at least 25 times in my life, both on the big screen and thanks to whatever version of the film is on VHS, Laser Disc, or DVD   I had yet to experience it via Blu Ray and last weekend offered just the right opportunity to spend some time in River City all over again.

It's indeed a perfect summertime movie as that is when it is set.  You star with the Fourth of July celebration in Madison Park and wind up with the Labor Day Sociable.  I always try to watch it between those two warm weather holidays.  

And I was enveloped in its aura one more time.  Indeed, with every viewing, there is something in it that makes it feel all new again.  And now it also prompts a pretty vivid memory for me from many years ago.

You see, "The Music Man" was the very movie I went to see all by myself.

Before you call Social Services, remember that back when was a different time and a different place in America.  Kids less than double digits in age could walk freely around my hometown of Mount Vernon, New York and there would be no worries.  Yet, even in those more comfortable times, this solo event didn't come without a bit of parental consternation.

Any regular readers know that I was pretty much a movie geek when I was a youngster.  Indeed, I learned how to read at a very early age primarily because I would sift through all the movie advertisements in the NY Daily News and the NY Daily Mirror.   I learned to print because I would write notes for my father, asking him to take me to some movie.  I'd even provide the times the films started, so, yes, my numerical skills were all being developed.  

I lived for the movie palaces that were in our neighborhood.  The glorious RKO Proctor's on Gramatan Avenue.  The stately Loews' around the corner on Stevens Avenue.  There was the Wakefield underneath the elevated tracks on White Plains Road in the Bronx.  Or the small but dependable Kimball on Yonkers Avenue.  

On special occasions, we would take the D Train from 205th Street down to Radio City Music Hall in Manhattan.   There, you never had to go outside.  There was an entrance right into the lobby from the subway station.  And, of course, if my dad was wiping down the Buick windshield during the summer, I knew it would be time for the drive-in theater in Elmsford.   I'd dress in my pajamas and be allowed to stay up in the back seat for the first feature only.

I am forever grateful to my parents for instilling this love in me.  But they enjoyed the movies themselves.  Before my mom went back to work at night, she would go out every Monday evening to either RKO or Loews with her girlfriend Ronnie.  I'd find a box of Poms Poms or Milk Duds on the kitchen table in the morning.

Of course, most of the time I was at the movies myself with either my mother or my father.  They actually divided up the genres between the two of them.  Mom would take me to Disney movies or cartoons and most Biblical epics.  Dad was responsible for bringing me to any war flicks and anything that starred Jerry Lewis.  Sorry, Dad. 

But the one film genre that was not covered by either parent was the movie musical.  It seems that neither one of them enjoyed the "all singing, all dancing" classics.   It's not likely we were a music-less family.   The radio was always on and so was the record player.  But, when it came to screen musicals, my folks were a collective "meh."

And that brings me to our story for this Sunday.  Yours truly was learning to love the movie musical because I was already captivated by what was happening on Broadway.   It's not like I had seen any shows down there.  Not with the lofty prices of $3,80 per ticket. 

But I knew what the "Music Man" was and I had the original Broadway cast album.  Now it was coming to the movies and, for a variety of reasons, I needed to go.  Besides the music that was already engrained in my skull, one of the co-stars was Ronny Howard from my very favorite TV program, "The Andy Griffith Show."  I wanted to be best friends with Opie.   Or, in this movie, Winthrop Paroo.

But, notes to my parents about this movie didn't register.  When it came to RKO on Gramatan, I did all my usual research about movie times, length, etc.. 

"It's a musical.   Nah."

Crap...or whatever I was saying back then to demonstrate annoyance and disappointment.

I must have been persistent because I remember overhearing my parents discussing this very movie.  And how they could satisfy my insatiable need to see it. 

Cousins were considered.  And dismissed.  Aunts and uncles were considered.  And dismissed.  At this point, I still wasn't going to the movies with my friends up the block.  I was seemingly the only person in Mount Vernon, New York who wanted to see Professor Harold Hill and company.

And, then, from the floor of my bedroom with a box of Colorforms cracked open before me, I heard the words from the nearby kitchen.

"Well, maybe we can let him go on his own."

What????

What followed was a series of one-on-ones with each of my parents.  This outing was going to be set up with the precision of the D-Day invasion on Normandy Beach.  My mom positioned it all as if I would be nervous going by myself.

Wrong.  I couldn't wait.

Of course, I really wasn't going to be alone.   I wasn't just being dropped off at the theater one Saturday afternoon.   My dad parked the car.   He paid for my ticket and then exercised a full interrogation of the woman at the box office.

"How long is the movie?"

"Is there another feature?"

"What is the exact time he will be out?"

With my ticket in hand, Dad shepherded me into the lobby.   As I picked out my treats at the candy counter, my father was making fast friends with the old lady sporting the flashlight.

The dreaded movie theater matron.

I was introduced to her and virtually handed over like those kids who are flying alone and entrusted to the care of a flight attendant.  On this afternoon, I wasn't even going to have to pick out my own seat.

"You're sitting right here where I can see you."

She had a five dollar bill in her hand.  So, I suppose that's how much not seeing "The Music Man" was worth to my parents.  Essentially, I had a baby sitter.  And I was the one going out for the day.  In retrospect, I wonder why one of my folks didn't simply come along and doze throughout the entire film.   But, I didn't care.

"The Music Man" was that special of a movie experience for me.  And has been ever since that afternoon when I didn't flinch or risk getting a flashlight blasted into my eyes.

 Meredith Willson's "The Music Man" is arguably the best thing to ever come out of the Midwest, save for maybe Abe Lincoln. If it were not for this movie musical, I would probably ignore the state of Iowa altogether.

Willson obviously knew about Iowa, because that's where he was born around the turn of the century. My guess is that he waited for many a Wells Fargo wagon in his time. This music composer kicked around Hollywood and network radio for most of his life, until he achieved his true watershed moment when "The Music Man" debuted on Broadway in 1957. Apparently, you couldn't get into the show for about two years, and those were the days when Broadway audiences were smart and could tell the difference between gold and crap.

Hollywood has a nasty history of recreating a Broadway musical on screen, but forgetting to include the stars that first authored the roles on stage. Angela Lansbury got dumped in favor of a croaking Lucille Ball for "Mame." Carol Channing got bypassed for the film version of "Hello Dolly," which opted instead for Barbra Streisand, who turned the whole thing into a hackneyed Yiddish production you might find at a local nursing home.

Indeed, I'm betting there were some ridiculous thoughts about replacing the amazing Robert Preston in the role of Professor Harold Hill. Maybe Frank Sinatra. Or perhaps Sammy Davis Jr., who could have sung "Y'all Got Trouble, my brothers." As a matter of fact, Cary Grant was approached and declined by saying that WB needed to go back to the source. So, in a rare stroke of genius, producers realized that Robert Preston was the only "Music Man" we should see. Sure, there have been others to do it on Broadway since. And, for some reason perhaps known only to aliens residing on Pluto, some idiot tried to remake the movie into a TV production with Matthew Broderick. Regardless, if you are to enjoy this musical wonderment, you have to see it with Robert Preston.

After that solo in RKO Proctor's, I was addicted to the words, the music, and the performances. I would walk to school, singing the songs like some loon. And that included doing "Gary, Indiana" complete with the Ronny Howard-perfected lisp.  A few years later, CBS seemed to run this movie once a season, and I would be plopped down in front of the set days and weeks in advance.

There was something about the town of River City and the very special summer they experience that captivated me. Perhaps, it was because my hometown of Mount Vernon, New York was slowly evolving into something very unspecial. For us, there would be no such thing as a boy's band. Instead, there would be gangs, riots, and hostility. If only our worlds could be about the ice cream social in the local park.  A place where you couldn't necessarily let your young child go to a movie theater by himself.

Indeed, over several decades after its initial release, I still feel like I am seeing it for the first time all over again. And every time I watch it, I see something new. Or revel particularly in one single moment. After being on the Warner Brothers back lot, I could pick out actual locations that were used as River City in the movie. The first time I saw it on DVD, I could pick out the Burbank hills in the background, along with some electrical power lines which probably didn't exist around the turn of the century.

The cast is first-rate, and none of them probably had finer film moments. Shirley Jones, Buddy Hackett, Ronny Howard, Hermione Gingold, Paul Ford, Pert Kelton, and Mary Wickes are all incomparable. While everyone remembers the classic moments like "Trouble," "76 Trombones," and "Marian the Librarian," there really is not a weak musical number in the whole film. Take a look at one of my favorites, the blending and harmonizing of two completely different songs. It is as smooth as silk.In the stage musical, there is a ballad sung by Marian called "My White Knight." It's okay, but Wilson very smartly replaces it on screen with another much better song, "Being In Love." Shirley Jones' rendition of it is magical. You also probably have heard some of the other clever quirks embedded in the music. For instance, "76 Trombones" and "Goodnight, My Someone" are essentially the same tunes except played at different tempos. And, of course, the fabulous "Till There Was You" is one of the best romantic duets ever filmed for the silver screen. Coincidentally, "Till There Was You" is a song that the Beatles actually covered on one of their first albums.
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I've seen the musical in a Broadway revival with Craig Bierko and Rebecca Luker. I've seen it done at the Hollywood Bowl with Eric McCormick and Kristin Chenoweth. I saw another revival several years ago with Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster.  I'll probably see it another half dozen times mounted with a variety of performers. But, at the end of the day, it is the movie that shines best. With Robert Preston as the brightest light.

And takes me back to the day when I saw it for the very first time.   Thanks, Mom and Dad.  You made it happen.

Dinner last night:  The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.

Classic TV Commercial of the Month - August 2026

 Quenching a summer thirst...plus the Muppets.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Photo Hell

 

I think I dated her.

I know I dated her.

Chippendale Junior High.

I'm with you, kid.

 I wonder how they erected that.

Sharknado 5: The Wedding Reception.

It's almost time for those yellow pills in the little paper cups.

Just where is Waldo?

A Pepto Bismol family.

We need to stick together in the ocean.   Or so says the warden.

I hope the cops were there for this asshole five minutes after this snapshot was taken.

Most Likely To Be Beaten Up in Gym Class.

Dinner last night:   Grilled beef sausage.