Sunday, May 17, 2026

The Sunday Memory Drawer - I Once Was Thin

 

I am still sifting through more of the photos I dug out of my New York apartment.  Most of them I can easily remember the specifics.  The time, the place, the occasion.  The one atop today's post?

No clue.  

Okay, it's a batting cage.  I don't recall ever going to one on the East Coast, so this must have been taken during one of my California trips.  The longish hair.  The moustache.  The timing seems right.  And, good news, the ball is nowhere to be found.  I've obviously made contact. Len's 1 for 1.

Meanwhile, as I stare at this snapshot, there is one thing that grabs me.

Damn, I was skinny on this day.

Seriously, there is no stomach.  The legs don't look that chunky.  Are those designer jeans that I have wormed my way into?  I'd like to lose the two tone belt that just screams "J. Crew."  But, overall, this looks like one fit individual.

Really?  When was this?  And how come I couldn't make this last more than three days?

Weight has always been an issue with me.  Want to see?
I'm probably four in this picture and already I see evidence of love handles.  One Animal Cracker box too many.  And dig those chunky thighs.  Frankly, I think some folks just happen to be blessed.  There are those who have svelte in their DNA make-up and others that don't.

I'm somewhere in the middle.  As you can see, I could be bi-polar with regard to fitness.  But, for me to achieve the thinner side, it takes a lot of work.

The only problem is that I didn't start that work until I was in high school.

For about sixteen years, I was totally passive.  Except when it came to eating.  We dined healthy, but there was candy and dessert and always chocolate chip cookies in Grandma's pantry jar.  Fruit and vegetables, yes. Tootsie Rolls in Grandma's living room candy dish, definitely yes.  And, after school, there was always the walk around the corner to Charlie's Delicatessen for an after school snack.  A carrot stick?  Hell, no.  Make that a Drake's Ring Ding.

Exercise in my first decade and a half?    Well, there wasn't as much as there should have been.  I played in the neighborhood, but was always the slowest and clumsiest one on the team.  Sports didn't come to me easily.  Maybe it was the extra pounds.  Maybe it was a lack of practice.  I was always the last one to be picked when sides were chosen.

Things weren't much better in school when there was gym class always taught by some jerk who thought he was coaching the Green Bay Packers.  The most strenuous activity for me was just to figure out how to get a medical excuse for whenever they would turn to gymnastics and tumbling.  

And, of course, we had that great annual humbler.  The President's Fitness Test.  Some bureaucratic nonsense concocted to make kids feel horrible about themselves.  You had to run six laps around the playground.  Or scoot around picking up erasers.  Your times were compared to everybody else in the class.  It was a horrible feeling each and every Spring.   While other classmates had moved on to the locker room, I was still in Lap 5.

This kind of misery became quite second nature to me.  It was me and I started to accept it.  I was aided and abetted by parents who discounted the whole concept of weight and fitness.

"Some people are just big-boned."

Oh.

But, as I moved into the teen years, I started to kick back on this flimsy excuse.  I looked around at some friends.  There were others who were equally "big-boned."  My best neighborhood buddy Leo was one of them.  But, when it came to playing games on the block, he had a dose of athleticism that I envied.  Why was that?

Ultimately, I found my own niche.  It came on those summer teenage nights when my gang would troop en masse down to the local vacant lot after dinner.  We'd play softball or baseball until it was either too dark or the ball had been lost in the weeds.  And, as I did this night after humid night, I found there was some truth to the old adage.

Practice does make perfect.

Well, maybe not perfect.  More like passable.  

Suddenly, I could pitch at softball.  I found a hitting stroke and could pound the ball with a little power.  And, given my height, I came in handy playing first base.  You always wanted to put the tall guy there because the highest weeds were right behind that base.  You never wanted to overthrow because that would easily get that night's game cancelled due to shrubbery.  

I was tall and was now able to catch.  I was ideal at first base and relished the notion.  Leo would play third and field like a young Ron Santo.  Snag a grounder and fire it to me for the out.  What a defensive combination.

I now belonged someplace on a playing field.

The weight, or non-lack of it, still plagued me.  It became really chronic in my senior year.  During the very first gym class of the year, a deep knee thrust popped out the whole joint and that would be the beginning of the long end for my right knee.  Touch football games after school were discarded in favor of TV reruns and lots of Hostess Twinkies.  

By Christmas, I was no longer "big-boned."  I was fat.

I hated the way I looked and vowed to make changes.   There was a diet being hawked on TV talk shows that required you to drink eight glasses of water a day.  A problem when you're taking six classes a day in a high school where going to the bathroom was a death wish.  But I did it.  Plus I monitored my calorie intake.   Dad did the super market shopping.  I gave him my list.

"Low calorie Wishbone dressing?" 

"Non-fat yogurt?"

"Tab?"

Yes, that Tab.  

By spring, I was looking for a new wardrobe.

And, folks, it's been a battle ever since.  I went to college and almost ballooned to Jabba the Hut proportions again.  Late night hero sandwiches from the Fordham student deli will expand your waist measurement.  As soon as I graduated, I went back to dieting.

Weight off, weight on.  Muscle tone good, muscle tone bad.  I never stayed the same the rest of my life.

There are some photos over time that I want to burn.  Since when did I look like Ralph Kramden?  There are other snapshots that make me squint to see the label on the jeans.  Calvin Klein?  Hmmm, I'm impressed.

There's the photo at the top and I like what I see.  How many days did that flat stomach last?  I'm curious.

Over the years of my life, there was always some form of cardio.  I've been through not one, not two, but three stationary bikes.  There was a Yonkers gym membership in the 90s and I actually went four times a week.  I became addicted to a Nordic Track machine.  

And then, for a whole,  rotten joints that connect the two parts of my leg started to prevent a rigorous exercise regiment.

Today, there is a personal trainer that works with me twice a week.  I go to PT once a week.  The struggle continues.  The weight doesn't leave.  Actually it seems to pile up faster.   Now the only way I can have abs is by taking an old picture and running it through AI.

Still, it's a part of my life that I can't ignore.  And don't.  

I may never look like the photo at the top.  But, at the same time, I never want to be the one in the middle either.

And, my friends, isn't that what it's all about?

The middle.

Dinner last night:   Pizza at Viva La Mamma.

Saturday, May 16, 2026

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - May 2026

 One of those shows I never watched except for the opening theme.


Dinner last night:  Beef and broccoli.

Friday, May 15, 2026

It's Prom Season....AGAIN.

 It's that time of year.  Everybody, smile!

It's either the senior prom or open call for "The Lion King."
It's a courteous boyfriend who's always willing to coordinate his dress with his date's.
Explosion at the paint factory!
Hello, 1983.

Hello, Bellevue Hospital.
The junior prom at the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory.
Love is Blue.
There's a problem when your boyfriend's hair makes him look like Lucille Ball.
Pat and Lois, sans toolbelts, at the prom.
"Oh, what proudly we hail....."

Dinner last night:  Bacon wrapped hot dog at Dodger Stadium.

Thursday, May 14, 2026

The AI World

I hate to admit.  I have dabbled.   Playing with images and turning them into quick videos.  I haven't gotten complicated.   Just people...well, me...kissing some stranger.

I started with this single photo from about 30 years ago.   I've always liked this photo of me.   I call it my porn producer profile.   I look good but smarmy.

Well, Central Casting made a call and I wanted a romcom make-out moment.  Now I can't load the whole 8 second video here, but here's a screen shot of what happened.   Enter attractive woman.
Now I realize AI is putting people out of business and all that.  But, for a single fantasy moment.

Okay, so here's another little innovation of AI and I used this photo from my first ever photo to Los Angeles.
Dig the old Met t-shirt.  And the shot of the Valley with the Sheraton Universal hotel in the background.

I remember this being a sultry day.   Maybe I should have stripped down.   Enter AI again.
Oddly, I probably did look that good back then.

Again, another fantasy.

Now I'm not a fan of people who use AI to pose in pictures with Grandma who's been dead since Carter was President.   But, as a lark...

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.




Wednesday, May 13, 2026

This Date in History - May 13

 

He's got his detractors, but I'm a Bobby Valentine fan.  Happy birthday, Skipper.

1373:  JULIAN OF NORWICH HAS VISIONS WHICH ARE LATER TRANSCRIBED IN HER REVELATIONS OF DIVINE LOVE.

Is that like an older version of Fifty Shades of Gray?

1568:  THE FORCES OF MARY, QUEEN OF SCOTS, ARE DEFEATED BY A CONFEDERACY OF SCOTTISH PROTESTANTS UNDER JAMES STEWART, EARL OF MORAY.  

As opposed to James Stewart, Awesome Actor.

1619:  DUTCH STATESMAN JOHAN VAN OLDENBARNEVELT IS EXECUTED IN THE HAGUE AFTER BEING CONVICTED OF TREASON.

With a name like that, he deserves it.

1787:  CAPTAIN ARTHUR PHILLIP LEAVES PORTSMOUTH, ENGLAND, WITH ELEVEN SHIPS FULL OF CONVICTS TO ESTABLISH A PENAL COLONY IN AUSTRALIA.  

If you have to be in jail, there's no better place than Australia.

1846:  THE UNITED STATES DECLARES WAR ON MEXICO.

This never ended, right?

1848:  THE FIRST PERFORMANCE OF FINLAND'S NATIONAL ANTHEM.

Don't know it.  Hum a few bars, please.

1861:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, QUEEN VICTORIA OF THE UNITED KINGDOM ISSUES A PROCLAMATION OF NEUTRALITY WHICH RECOGNIZES THE BREAKAWAY STATES AS HAVING BELLIGERENT RIGHTS.

A good fight to stay out of.

1861:  PAKISTAN'S FIRST RAILROAD OPENS.  

For those four of you who actually want to travel around Pakistan.

1880:  IN NEW JERSEY, THOMAS EDISON PERFORMS THE FIRST TEST OF THE ELECTRIC RAILWAY.

Take that, Pakistan.

1914:  BOXER JOE LOUIS IS BORN.

Pow!  Crunch!  Pow!  Ouch!  

1917:  THREE CHILDREN REPORTS THE FIRST APPARITION OF OUR LADY OF FATIMA IN PORTUGAL.  

Do you see what I see?

1922:  ACTRESS BEATRICE ARTHUR IS BORN.

God will get you for that.

1933:  BASEBALL CATCHER JOHN ROSEBORO IS BORN.

Hit in the head with a bat wielded by Juan Marichal in 1965.  Just sayin'.

1939:  THE FIRST COMMERCIAL FM RADIO STATION IN THE US IS LAUNCHED IN BLOOMFIELD, CONNECTICUT.   THE STATION LATER BECOMES WDRC-FM.

1939?   It's a little early for them to be playing Jethro Tull.

1940:  WINSTON CHURCHILL MAKES HIS "BLOOD, TOIL, TEARS, AND SWEAT" SPEECH TO THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

Earth, Wind, and Fire were not available.

1940:  QUEEN WILHELMINA OF THE NETHERLANDS FLEES HER COUNTRY TO GREAT BRITAIN AFTER THE GERMAN INVASION.

I wonder how somebody from the Netherlands would say "let's get the hell out of here."

1941:  SINGER RITCHIE VALENS IS BORN.

Died at the age of 18 in a plane crash.   Waste.

1948:  THE KFAR ETZION MASSACRE IS COMMITTED BY ARAB IRREGULARS, THE DAY BEFORE ISRAEL DECLARES ITS INDEPENDENCE.

PS, they're all still fighting.

1950:   BASEBALL LEGEND BOBBY VALENTINE IS BORN.

How he got those Mets into the 2000 World Series is still a mystery to me.

1950:  MUSICIAN STEVIE WONDER IS BORN.

When he really was Little Stevie Wonder.

1954:  THE ORIGINAL BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF "THE PAJAMA GAME" OPENS.

Steam heat!

1958:  DURING A TRIP TO VENEZUELA, VICE PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON'S CAR IS ATTACKED BY ANTI-AMERICAN DEMONSTRATORS.

Don't hit my dog Checkers.

1958:  THE TRADEMARK VELCRO IS REGISTERED.

This will stick around for a while.

1958:  A GROUP OF FRENCH MILITARY OFFICERS LEAD A COUP IN ALGIERS DEMANDING THAT A GOVERNMENT OF NATIONAL UNITY BE FORMED WITH CHARLES DE GAULLE AT ITS HEAD IN ORDER TO DEFEND FRENCH CONTROL OF ALGERIA.

By the way, De Gaulle had really big ears.

1960:  BERKELEY STUDENTS CONGREGATE FOR THE FIRST DAY OF PROTEST AGAINST A VISIT BY THE HOUSE COMMITTEE ON UN-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES.  

There's always some kind of nonsense on this campus.

1961:  ACTOR GARY COOPER DIES.

Dead.  Yup.

1969:  RACE RIOTS TAKE PLACE IN MALAYSIA.

Just in case you thought this only happened in this country.

1972:  WILLIE MAYS PLAYS HIS FIRST GAME FOR THE METS AFTER BEING TRADED FROM THE GIANTS.

He hit a homer in the rain if my childhood memory is correct.

1972:  ACTOR DAN BLOCKER DIES.

Hoss!

1977:  MOBSTER MICKEY SPILLANE DIES.

No mystery.

1980:  AN F3 TORNADO HITS MICHIGAN AND PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER DECLARES IT A FEDERAL DISASTER AREA.

If anybody knows disaster areas, it would be Carter.

1981:  MEHMET ALI AGCA ATTEMPTS TO ASSASSINATE POPE JOHN PAUL II IN ROME'S ST. PETER'S SQUARE.

After emergency surgery, he lasted a whole bunch longer.

1989:  LARGE GROUPS OF STUDENTS OCCUPY TIANANMEN SQUARE AND BEGIN A HUNGER STRIKE.  

An hour later, they were still hungry all over again.

1994:  JOHNNY CARSON MAKES HIS LAST TV APPEARANCE ON THE DAVID LETTERMAN SHOW.

Still miss the hell out of him.

2013:  PSYCHOLOGIST DR. JOYCE BROTHERS DIES.

You think I got problems???

2018:  ACTRESS MARGOT KIDDER DIES.

Not kidding any more.

2019:  ACTRESS DORIS DAY DIES.

They should have given her an Oscar while she was alive.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Korean chicken.

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

What The F Were They Thinking?

 

Ah, those were the days.   This is one of those iconic passageways at LAX that connected your gate with baggage claims.   That long, long, long walk that was made easier by the inclusion of those sliding people movers.   You just stood on it and, if you chose, you didn't have to move a single foot.   Perhaps you remember these from the opening credits of "The Graduate."

Well, it's 2026 and most terminals at LAX are sprucing up for the burgeoning Summer Olympics of 2028.   They are updating and upgrading the facilities.

And, as a result, those handy people sliders?   Gone.  Replaced by...well...nothing.  And with gates moved out more, this walk to your gate or to baggage claim on incoming flights is an unmitigated disaster.   Indeed, the American Airlines terminal at LAX is now a horror show for anybody that is ADA-compliant.  Or like me...coming off hip, knee, and hernia surgeries.

As the title says...what the bleep were they thinking?

Okay, they have a solution and I did try it out on my last plane trip.

Waymo Wheelchairs!  

The waiting attendant programs in your gate number or ultimate airport destination and off you go.  

At one mile a minute.   If you're flying next Wednesday, you might want to get your chair on Tuesday.  It's a help for sure.   But wasn't the original sliding gizmo a better alternative?

Indeed, at this point, the only people who will be fit enough to attend the Olympics will be the athletes who are in the Olympics.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Monday, May 11, 2026

Monday Morning Video Laugh - May 11, 2026

 More Johnny Carson animal hi-jacks.   Going five rounds with a baboon.


Dinner last night:  Grilled veggies.