The Best Picture of the Year...Not

 

Long time readers of this blog over the past 19 years know that I used to have a very Oscar-eccentric content.   Lots of movie reviews.  Pix for your office pool.  Writing what two Jewish film pros had to say about the nominations and awards while eating pastrami on rye.

We sure did have a lot of Oscar fun.  And then COVID hit and the movie business changed to one where you need a living room couch or recliner.   And the content got darker and darker as if everybody in film production had an axe to grind.  It was no longer about entertainment.

Personally, I couldn't wait to watch on Oscar Sunday.   I'd go see all the nominees before hand.  On the big day, I would make a big slow cooker of chili, invite some friends, and make fun of the idiots on parade.   This year, I was invited to another Oscar event and, frankly, I didn't even realize it was Award Day or Night.

Given all of the above, it was no surprise in this age of nobody cares, a crummy movie like "One Battle After Another" wins the top prize.  Ironically, it was the only nominated feature I saw and I did that the previous night.   I was unimpressed.   The movie was long, boring, self-conscious and full of rotten, hateful characters.  

Just more of the same.   With a sinister politically-oriented POV. this movie seems like it was made just six months ago and produced by Minnesota Governor Tim Walz.  It's all about old revolutionaries who are spiriting illegal immigrants into the country so they can fuck with America.   Meanwhile, the film is set fifteen years in the past so I suppose that makes writer/director Paul Thomas Anderson a genius along with being Maya Rudolph's husband.

Super lib Leonardo DiCaprio plays one of the scumbags who fears his daughter has been abducted by the evil US military as commanded by the always annoying-to-watch Sean Penn.  DiCaprio has to use a password to get recognized by his fellow terrorists and it's "Green Acres Beverly Hillbillies Hooterville Junction."  Why not Petticoat?  That particular plot point bothered me the whole movie.  As if I wasn't already bothered by watching the damn thing in the first place.

All these scumbags arrive at some critical point five or six hours later...or maybe the 2 hour and 45 minute run time was really accurate.  Whatever...it's another demented view of the United States and it's just another black mark on Hollywood.

And the most undeserved Oscar goes to...

LEN'S RATING:  One star.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

This Date in History - March 18

 

Happy birthday in Heaven, Kevin Dobson.   We make it a policy here always to celebrate special days of Knots Landing actors.  No social distancing here.

37:  THE ROMAN SENATE ANNULS TIBERIUS' WILL AND PROCLAIMS CALIGULA EMPEROR.

Okay, now the fun begins.

633:  THE ARABIAN PENINSULA IS UNITED UNDER THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY OF CALIPH ABU BAKR.

Good.  I was worried.

1229:  FREDERICK II, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, DECLARES HIMSELF KING OF JERUSALEM IN THE SIXTH CRUSADE.

And later he calls himself the Duke of Earl.

1314:  JACQUES DE MOLAY, THE LAST GRAND MASTER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, IS BURNED AT THE STAKE.

I hope they used a good brand of olive oil.

1438:  ALBERT II OF HABSBURG BECOMES HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.

But we won't be as much fun as Caligula.

1608: SUSENYOS IS FORMALLY CROWNED EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA.

Susenyos?   Wasn't that a Phil Collins song?

1741:  NEW YORK GOVERNOR GEORGE CLARKE'S COMPLEX AT FORT GEORGE IN BURNED IN AN ARSON ATTACK, STARTING THE NEW YORK CONSPIRACY OF 1741.

There's no conspiracy.   I just wish all these people weren't against me.

1766:  THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT REPEALS THE STAMP ACT.

Forcing everybody to deliver their letters in person.

1848:  IN BERLIN, THERE IS A STRUGGLE BETWEEN CITIZENS AND MILITARY, COSTING ABOUT 300 LIVES.

That's a little more than a struggle in my book.

1850:  AMERICAN EXPRESS IS FOUNDED BY HENRY WELLS AND WILLIAM FARGO.

Don't leave home without them.

1865:  DURING THE CIVIL WAR, THE CONGRESS OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES ADJOURNS FOR THE LAST TIME.

Last one out, please shut off the lights.

1886:  ACTOR EDWARD EVERETT HORTON IS BORN.

Mrs.Horton Has a What?

1892:  FORMER GOVERNOR GENERAL LORD STANLEY PLEDGES TO DONATE A SILVER CHALLENGE CUP AS AN AWARD FOR THE BEST HOCKEY TEAM IN CANADA.

Little did he know that some players would be peeing in it 100 years later.

1915:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THREE BATTLESHIPS ARE SUNK DURING A FAILED BRITISH AND FRENCH NAVAL ATTACK.

I used to re-enact this in the bathtub when I was a kid.

1922:  IN INDIA, MOHANDAS GANDHI IS SENTENCED TO SIX YEARS IN PRISON FOR CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE.

Going, going, Gandhi.

1926:  ACTOR PETER GRAVES IS BORN.

He dies in 2010.  No, wait, he self-destructs.

1927:  AUTHOR GEORGE PLIMPTON IS BORN.

I never quite knew what this guy wrote.

1940:  ADOLF HITLER AND BENITO MUSSOLINI MEET AT THE BRENNER PASS IN THE ALPS AND AGREE TO FROM AN ALLIANCE AGAINST FRANCE AND ENGLAND.

Such a sinister act to have over a nice cup of Ovaltine,

1942:  THE WAR RELOCATION AUTHORITY IS ESTABLISHED IN THE US TO TAKE JAPANESE AMERICANS INTO CUSTODY.

Relocation is a nice way to say "internment."

1943:  ACTOR KEVIN DOBSON IS BORN.

Every Thursday night at 10PM for over twelve years, this guy was one of my heroes.

1944:  THE ERUPTION OF MOUNT VESUVIUS IN ITALY KILLS 26 PEOPLE AND CAUSES THOUSANDS TO FLEE THEIR HOMES.

I guess you can't blame them.

1945:  OVER 1,200 AMERICAN BOMBERS ATTACK BERLIN.

Finally.

1959:  PRESIDENT DWIGHT EISENHOWER SIGNS A BILL INTO LAW ALLOWING FOR HAWAIIAN STATEHOOD.

Aloha.

1970:  THE US POSTAL STRIKE OF 1970 BEGINS, ONE OF THE LARGEST WILDCAT STRIKES IN US HISTORY.

I think my mailman, who shows up after 6PM most days, must still think he's on the picket line.

1990:  GERMANS VOTE IN THE FIRST DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS IN THE FORMER COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP.

Can somebody show me how to pull this lever?

1992:  IN A NATIONAL REFERENDUM, WHITE SOUTH AFRICANS VOTE OVERWHELMINGLY TO END THE RACIST POLICY OF APARTHEID.

Would they do the same thing if they knew Al Sharpton?

2001:  SINGER JOHN PHILLIPS DIES.

All my leaves are brown...and my face is pale.

2009:  ACTRESS NATASHA RICHARDSON DIES.

Reason # 77 why people over 40 should not ski.

2010:  ACTOR FESS PARKER DIES.

That raccoon wants his skin back.

2017:  MUSICIAN CHUCK BERRY DIES.

Rock and Roll now fatherless.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.

Nineteen Years and Two Days Ago

As written on that first blog day.  3-15-07.  This was even before I listed my previous night's dinner.  By the way, Dinner last night was grilled steak salad.

Jell-o, this is Jack Benny speaking.

Well, not really. But I am commencing a new chapter in my world. I have been intrigued by some of the personal blogs I have read from friends, people in the industry, etc.. I never really got into doing a daily journal, but this might be a good venue to start.

I can muse everyday on whatever is on my mind. Hopefully, this will be a good way to stay connected with folks. And, this is an ideal offshoot of that Christmas newsletter I do---an annual device which has obviously been well-received, although I start it as a complete goof.

It will take me a while to learn how to upload pictures and all those other do-hickeys on my computer. And I am sure that, at some point very early on, I will write a completely captivating entry only to lose it in cyberspace.

I will have to learn not to vent on anyone I know personally, as they could potentially read it and stop sending me Christmas cards. Will this be a politically correct forum? I see no hands raised. That's good. It means you have been paying attention to me all these years. For instance, if I wanted to comment on "American Idol", you will not be surprised if I refer to that Sanjaya guy in terms that will signify his heritage from a God-forsaken country in this world where the flies are bigger than the meal on your plate. 

By the way, I now understand how that kid is surviving from week-to-week when he sounds like Rose Kennedy doing a cabaret act in Vegas. All his calls have been outsourced. If he somehow goes the distance, I am guessing the first contract he will sign is with Dell Computers. And I am thinking he has tons of support in this country. Go into any Seven-11 when they open up the Idol phone lines and tell me if the counter help isn't on a cell phone at the time.

Voila......c'est le blog pour Thursday, March 15, 2007.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 16, 2026

On my blog anniversary month, let's watch Scarlet take another tumble off that table.

Dinner last night:   Sandwich.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - When Movies Are Really Bad

Like all of the ones nominated for Oscars tonight.   It is now the awards show that nobody cares about.  And, to think that these films are the worst yet.   I've seen my share in life.

Movie fan that I am, I will stick out a stinker as long as possible.   You know those films.   The one that you start to hate by the end of the first reel and it actually goes downhill from there.   I know lots of folks who would get up and leave.   For the most part, not me.   I will grit my teeth and hope against hope that it will get better.

But there have been three movies that I never saw the end of.  Of course, one wasn't because it stunk.   Years later, I saw it on TCM and thought it was very clever.   But, trying to see it at the Loews Mount Vernon theater with its artist rendering above, well, that didn't work.   Indeed, it was the very first movie my mother ever took me to see.

Perfect entertainment for somebody my age.  And, oh, look, "it's colorsome."

So, on one warm weekday afternoon, Mom walked me down Stevens Avenue to Loews for the first of what would be thousands of motion picture experiences for yours truly.

Except...

I remember the huge and glorious edifice being empty.  It was the first show of the day and apparently even a colorsome movie like Tom Thumb wasn't packing them in just yet.   We made the long climb to the balcony, which was my mother's prime viewing location.  Why?  It was the smoking section.

I probably was in awe of my surroundings.  It was so eerily quiet.  But the hall was very pretty.  And the velvet curtain that faced us all.

Moments later, the lights began to dim.

Uh oh, what's happening?

The curtain slowly started to inch its way apart to reveal a huge white wall.  

Suddenly, this all didn't look so inviting.  I had no clue what was happening.  But none of it looked good.  And I reacted the way any well-adjusted child would.

I started to scream.

'WHHHHAAAAAAAA!   WHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!"

My mom was so off-put that she probably had to douse her cigarette.  What the hell was wrong with me?

"WHHHHHAAAAAAA!  WHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!"

If there was anybody else in the theater at that moment, I am sure they were complaining to the manager.  Can you shut that freakin' kid up?

Mom had no luck with me.  This freakin' kid wouldn't shut up.  I sounded like Lucy Ricardo on the umpteenth time that Ricky wouldn't let her be in the show down at the Tropicana.

There would be no Tom Thumb for me that afternoon. 

I think I stopped the histrionics several blocks away.  And re-ignited them  anew when Mom had her say.

"You've wasted my money, today, young man."

Young man?  Okay, I was four.

With a great flourish, my mother ripped apart the two movie tickets.  Wasted money, indeed.  The tickets were probably no more than fifty cents each.  Needless to say, the rest of my afternoon was spent in my room.  A just punishment for having squandered my family's fortune.

Not wanting to repeat the scream fest ever again, my mother got smart at how to get around my "dimming lights/curtain parting" phobia.  For the next two years whenever I was taken to the movies, we arrived ten minutes into the first feature.  I clearly recall one afternoon while we hung around Hartley Park just up the street from the RKO Proctors theater.  The show had started at 1PM.  My mom looked at her watch.

"1:15PM.  I guess we can go in now."

I eventually outgrew this nonsense.   But, in the case of the two other movies I have walked out on in my lifetime, I was better off screaming at the curtain.

You see that there?   Academy Award winning.   And it did win the Oscar for Best Foreign Film.  Okay, I was a film buff.   This was something I needed to see one night with some friends.   

Of course, back then for people living in Westchester, New York, the only outlet you had to see foreign or art house movies was the Scarsdale Fine Arts theater. Sadly, I think it's a furniture store now.  But, back in the day, it was the "in" place to be for film devotees.   

I don't remember just how quickly "The Tin Drum" skidded off the tracks for me.  But, within the first half-hour, we were treated to a bunch of unlikable people set against the Nazi Holocaust.  With this annoying kid pictured above banging on his freakin' drum.

I hung out for a while.   But, then, there was the scene at the beach.   These characters started to eat live eels.  I started to feel vomit oozing up into my mouth.   I don't remember exactly what my friends did.   I got up and ran into the lobby for a gallon or two from their water fountain.

I was done with 'The Tin Drum."

Ah, and there was one other that had me beating a hasty retreat.  And, at first glance, you would wonder why.

I mean, come on, Len.  How can you go wrong here?  Jack Nicholson.  Meryl Streep.  Mike Nichols directing.  Nora Ephron writing.

By the end of the first half-hour, I couldn't take these completely insufferable people.  Interesting because it was allegedly loosely based on the romance of Ephron and journalist Carl Bernstein.   The histrionics on the screen were so annoying that I bade a temporary goodbye to my movie partner and headed to the lobby.

The good news is we were at Movieland on Central Avenue in Yonkers.  The lobby was full of video games.   I was not a video game player.   That night, I became one.  One quarter after another.  One Pac Man after another.   The time went a lot faster for me than it would have sitting back in that theater.

Indeed, I guess you can say my batting average is pretty good.  Walking out of two movies.   Technically being dragged out of a third.   Now there is junk I see to this day.   But I rarely walk out.   I think back to the day of my mom yelling at me after the aborted attempt to see "Tom Thumb."

"You've wasted my money today, young man."Well, now it's my own money.  And I don't waste that so easily. 

Dinner last night:  Ribeye steak and pan roasted tomatoes in balsamic sauce.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - March 2026

 And they're still marching.

Dinner last night:  In and Out Burger.

Friday the 13th and How Unlucky Are These Losers?

 

More photographic torture. Proof that this is one strange country. Take, for instance, the twisted young miss above. I suppose some guys will find this impressive. Actually, I do. Bravo. Honey, are you on Facebook? We should be friends.

The strange thing is that neither of these kids know this man. When does your local neighborhood predator pose for photos?

To all those women who think they are beautiful when pregnant: you're not. Call me when the kid is out and already teething.

A new movie is opening: Nightmare on Easter Sunday.

I'd love to see what this family looks like five seconds later.

"What do you mean that I have a pre-existing condition?"

And this is a family that probably has hand sanitizers all over the house.

When narcolepsy strikes on your wedding day...

"Whacha mean you want some sugar? I already gave you plenty."

Dinner last night:   Leftover grilled sausage.