Sunday, August 31, 2025

The Sunday Memory Drawer - One Last Woof

 

I've used this old, old photo of my childhood dog, Tuffy, before.  Sadly, it's the only snapshot I have of my beloved Beagle.  It's also the old picture I have of our hideously ancient kitchen.  But I digress...

Here in Los Angeles, kids have already gone back to school.  Two weeks before Labor Day and that would suck if I was still learning my reading and writing. Back in my hometown of Mount Vernon, New York, our first day back into the dungeon was always the Wednesday after Labor Day.   You dreaded that day like no other.

Of course, the telltale signs had creeped up for several weeks prior.  On TV, you'd see more and more commercials for the new Fall shows.  You'd notice that, at 8PM, it was darker today than it was yesterday.  And, on some days, there was a crispness in the summer air that was a portent of the fall.   Somebody up my neighborhood block would then be tempted to pull out the football for a game of touch in the street.

And, every year, as summer closed and school approached, I would start to have guilt feelings that I needed to purge quickly.  

Had I not played with my dog enough this summer?

I've written the tale here before of how Tuffy came into our household.  She was a birthday present to me when I turned eight years old.   Technically, she was my dog.  And I consumed much of her time in the early years.  There, of course, was the day that I wrote about here as well.   When she went into the vet's office for the surgery that would spay her.  I suffered the same pains and wound up in the nurse's office, convinced that my dog was going to die mid-operation.

For the first few years, Tuffy and I were inseparable.  But, then, as I got older, I was distracted by school, friends, and play.  Suddenly, my dog became our dog.

With both my parents working at night, it fell to my grandmother to be the guardian of Tuffy while everybody was out of the house.  Sure, my dad would take her out for a walk when he came home from work at midnight.  But, for the most part, Tuffy became the property of Grandma downstairs.  The dog would be down there most of the day, following my grandmother's daily schedule to a tee.

Lunch at 11AM.  Tuffy would wait by the table for scraps.  If the door between our part of the house and Grandma's was closed, Tuffy actually could turn the knob with her paws.  

While Grandma took her "beauty rest" from 1PM to 2PM, Tuffy did the same and stretched out on the area carpet between the living room and the dining room.  If it was particularly hot during the summer, she would opt for the cool linoleum floor underneath the dining room table.

At 4PM, Tuffy was back at Grandma's kitchen table as dinner was consumed.   She would always get to lick the plate or suck some stale bread soaked in whatever gravy or sauce had been consumed that day.  My grandmother would then go sit in the yard for a couple of hours.  Tuffy would be nearby, leashed to the railing of the backyard steps.

It was a simple summer life for the two of them.

Until the end of August when I would feel compelled to disrupt the routine.  I would suddenly realize that I would be separated soon from Tuffy.  And, after all, she was still my dog.  It was as if I needed in two late August weeks to reinforce that fact that I was still in charge.  And could see to my dog's every want and need.

Suddenly, I was the one walking her.  Almost all day long.  I would walk her ten blocks to the Fourth Avenue shopping district.  We would walk proudly to the 241st Street shopping district in the Bronx.  We'd walk to the Penn Central train station on Mount Vernon Avenue.  I was clearly overcompensating.  And, while probably not thrilled by the sudden spurt in activity, my dog never wavered in loyalty.  For those two weeks.

We'd play catch in the yard.  For hours at a time, we'd engage in a tug-of-war battle over an old sock.  I took care of all the brushing.  And, in one foolhardy attempt to really show my control, I tried to give her a bath in the yard.  The one who wound up soaked was me.

Then, almost instantly, I was back in school.  And Tuffy was undoubtedly delighted to go back to her normal, quiet routine.

When I went away to college, our time together became even less.  And, unlike those Augusts where I felt that I needed to exert my authority, I did even less with the dog.  It went from my dog to our dog to their dog.

Before I knew it, Tuffy had every ailment in the world.  She had somehow lasted to the age of eighteen.  But there was a tumor growing on her jaw and one August morning, she couldn't even stand.

Grandma was too upset to comprehend.  This was amazing since she was the one almost two decades before who had asked the question.

"What do you want to bring a dog in the house for?"

My dad was a bit in denial as well.  He must have enjoyed those midnight strolls more than he admitted.

It was up to me.  I made the call.  It was time.

On one last August day, Tuffy was my dog all over again.

Dinner last night:  Hot dog at the Hollywood Bowl.

Saturday, August 30, 2025

Classic Musical Comedy Production Number of the Month - August 2025

Woo hoo.  A five Saturday morning gives us the opportunity to enjoy a great musical comedy production number.  "The Sound of Music" (movie) is 60 years old.  Here's my favorite number from that wonderful musical.


Dinner last night:  Grilled peaches, burrata, and proscuitto at the Courtyard Kitchen.

Friday, August 29, 2025

Len's Jukebox of the Month - August 2025

 Summer's end.

Dinner last night: Roasted chicken pieces.

Thursday, August 28, 2025

Hollywood Then and Now - August 2025

The changing landscape of Hollywood.  Or not.   Here is part of the Desilu lot back sixty years ago when they owned part of Paramount.


 Years later, Desilu is gone but Paramount exists for now.   The globe on the corner of the roof is intact.

Dinner last night:  Not hungry so just some frozen lemonade at the Dodger game.

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

This Date in History - August 27

 

It's Wednesday, so let's say happy birthday to Tuesday...Weld, that is.

410:  THE SACKING OF ROME BY THE VISIGOTHS ENDS AFTER THREE DAYS.

Who knew the Visigoths had such good tackles.

1172:  HENRY THE YOUNG KING AND MARGARET OF FRANCE ARE CROWNED AS JUNIOR KING AND QUEEN OF ENGLAND.

But who got Homecoming?

1776:  IN THE BATTLE OF LONG ISLAND, IN WHAT IS NOW BROOKLYN, NEW YORK, BRITISH FORCES DEFEAT AMERICANS LED BY GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON.

And this is why Jackie Robinson didn't speak with a British accent.

1798:  WOLFE TONE'S UNITED IRISH AND FRENCH FORCES CLASH WITH THE BRITISH ARMY IN THE BATTLE OF CASTLEBAR.  THIS RESULTS IN THE CREATION OF THE FRENCH PUPPET REPUBLIC OF CONNACHT.

I love puppets.

1813:  FRENCH EMPEROR NAPOLEON I DEFEATS A FORCE OF AUSTRIANS, RUSSIANS, AND PRUSSIANS AT THE BATTLE OF DRESDEN.

Not bad for a guy with one arm in his jacket.

1832:  BLACK HAWK, LEADER OF THE SAUK TRIBE, SURRENDERS TO US AUTHORITIES.

Black Hawk Down.

1859:  PETROLEUM IS DISCOVERED IN PENNSYLVANIA LEADING TO THE WORLD'S FIRST SUCCESSFUL OIL WELL.

Paging Jed Clampett.

1861:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION FORCES ATTACK CAPE HATTERAS, NORTH CAROLINA.

Usually it's just hurricanes.

1896:  ANGLO-ZANZIBAR WAR - THE SHORTEST WAR IN WORLD HISTORY (45 MINUTES) IS HELD BETWEEN THE UNITED KINGDOM AND ZANZIBAR.

Fits perfectly into an hour with commercials.

1908:  PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON IS BORN.

I ask for your help...and God's.

1916:  ACTRESS MARTHA RAYE IS BORN.

On this day, she didn't have any teeth either.

1921:  THE BRITISH INSTALL THE SON OF SHARIF HUSSEIN BIN ALI AS KING FAISAL I OF IRAQ.

Well, Faisal is shorter to write on checks.

1927:  FIVE CANADIAN WOMEN FILE A POSITION TO THE SUPREME COURT OF CANADA ASKING "DOES THE WORD PERSONS INCLUDE FEMALE PERSONS?"

These days, I'm wondering if the word persons refers to male persons.

1942:  MUSICIAN DARYL DRAGON IS BORN.

The Captain with Tennille!

1943:  DURING WORLD WAR II, JAPANESE FORCES EVACUATE NEW GEORGIA ISLAND IN THE PACIFIC THEATER.

What did they always call it a theater?   This is not a show I wanted to watch.

1943:  ACTRESS TUESDAY WELD IS BORN.

Oddly enough, August 27, 1943 was a Friday.

1964:  WALT DISNEY'S "MARY POPPINS" PREMIERES AT GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATER.

A great movie.

1964:  COMEDY STAR GRACIE ALLEN DIES.

I hope she didn't have tickets to see "Mary Poppins."

1971:  AN ATTEMPTED COUP D'ETAT FAILS IN THE AFRICAN NATION OF CHAD AND THEY BLAME EGYPT.

Or Jeremy.

1971:  PUBLISHER BENNETT CERF DIES.

Now his line is "Corpse."

1975:  ETHIOPIAN EMPEROR HAILE SELASSIE I DIES

Highly not breathing.

1985:  THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT IS PEACEFULLY OVERTHROWN.

Er, excuse me, we're taking over now, thank you.

1996:  ACTOR GREG MORRIS DIES.

Mission:  Really Impossible Now.

2003:  MARS MAKES ITS CLOSEST APPROACH TO EARTH IN NEARLY 60,000 YEARS.

When those Martians get a good look at this place, they'll wait another 60,000 to come back.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

The Best Show I Am Watching Right Now

 

You Tube is one of the greatest TV resources we have.   You can find anything there.  And that's how the best TV show I am watching right now comes from 1967!

If you're bored like me with every single cam sitcom produced in the last 20 years, you will adore "He & She."  It ran one year for only 26 episodes, but so, so ahead of its time.  It foreshadows the golden sitcom era that will come from folks like Norman Lear and MTM.  In fact, one of the show runners on this gem is Allan Burns who co-created MTM.  The sophistication on this gem is so real that you can almost touch it.

The premise is simple.   Richard Benjamin plays the cartoonist who draws Jet Man.   He and wife Paula Prentiss live in Manhattan with ready access to the fire house next door.   The building super spends most of the season fixing the front door.  And Dick and Paula ooze such warmth and sexuality.

Speaking of which, Jack Cassidy plays Jet Man and is the forerunner of Ted Baxter.   He also plays the role with such subtle nuances that hint at him being perhaps the first gay TV character.

"He and She" got Emmy nominations for acting and won the award for writing and directing.   It should have been a clean sweep.  Not only was the show ahead of its time, but CBS didn't know where to schedule it.   The comedy ended up running right after "Green Acres."  Two completely different audience flows.  Had it premiered four years later, "He and She" would have run for eight seasons.

This has been a great visitation.  Recently, I saw Richard Benjamin at a screening.   I told him I was patiently waiting for a second season.

"I'm going to go home and tell Paula you said that."

Dinner last night:  BLT from Mendocino Farms.


Monday, August 25, 2025

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 25, 2025

We wrap up TV Blooper Month with this classic from "The Carol Burnett Show." 


Dinner last night:  Cheese and crackers at the Hollywood Bowl.

Sunday, August 24, 2025

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Center Square

 

He popped up in my You Tube page the other day in a Carol Burnett sketch from maybe 50 years ago.

I waS hooked all over again.

From the very first time I was exposed to Paul Lynde (and that certainly sounds wrong), I was a fan.    During my marathon week at the Loews Mount Vernon movie theater when I saw "Bye Bye Birdie" not one, not twice, but five times, there were two people who impressed me most in that movie.  Ann-Margret for all reasons that are extremely obvious.  And Paul Lynde for reasons that I can't explain.

I lived, breathed, and probably everything else-d that movie for the next year.  The soundtrack album was played over and over and over in my room.  The record cover alone had an ignoble history all its own.  I mean, look at it.   You don't really want to know, do you?
But, along with the "things" I was doing and thinking to this album cover, the other thing I was doing with the soundtrack was singing along.  To all the songs except "How Lovely to Be a Woman" and "One Boy."  Even then, I knew the difference.  And my favorite songs to chime in on were Paul Lynde's.  "Kids" and "Hymn to a Sunday Night."

I can only imagine what my family thought.

"E----ddd  Sulli-van!  E----dd Sulli-van!  We're gonna be on E----dd Sulli-van!"

The intonation was perfect.  And so was my imitation of Paul Lynde.

If I knew then what I know now.  Hell, if only my parents knew then what they would eventually know later...

I became a bit of a Paul Lynde geek.  As soon as the TV Guide showed up in our house, I would devour it to find TV shows he was guesting on that week.

Bewitched.

F Troop.

The Munsters.

The Mothers In-Law.

Dean Martin Presents the Golddiggers.  Yes, there was such a show. 

And, of course, as soon as he landed as the center square on the Hollywood Squares, I couldn't wait for 11:30 every summer morning.  Who doesn't remember questions like this?


A friend from school tells me that I once answered a question in class with a Paul Lynde imitation.  I vehemently deny that this happened and attributed it to a bizarre uban legend.   In retrospect?  I'll admit today that it is highly possible.

Once I grew up a bit, my Paul Lynde fandom subsided a bit.  When I got to college, it was absolutely mandatory that it be reduced to minimal levels.  After all, you don't impress the opposite sex by walking up to them at a mixer and whining "how are ya."  I had moved on.

Or, so I thought...

Regular readers here have already heard tales of my days working at Fordham University's WFUV.  In my early days there, I needed to find a niche.  I didn't have the booming voice of an announcer or news anchor.  I didn't possess the verbal quickness to do play-by-play sports.  And I had yet to dream up my own radio situation comedy called "Diploma City."

Nope, I was still a little lost and looking for something to do that was uniquely Len.  I had an idea I pitched to the station news director.  I could do regular reports on television.  Yep, a radio guy reporting on TV.  Looking back, I really was probably the forerunner for "Entertainment Tonight."  I had the idea before they did.  And, for my sophomore year at WFUV, I was Mary Hart.  Well, sort of.

One of the things I did regularly as WFUV's ace "boob tube" correspondent was phone interviews with TV celebrities.  Back in those days, it was a lot easier to get a hold of these folks and book them to a chat that would be recorded.  I have previously written here about the wonderful time I spent conversing with Tony Randall, but there were others.  Art Fleming, the original host of "Jeopardy."  Karen Valentine, be still my heart.  Bob "Captain Kangaroo" Keeshan.  Alan Alda.  Ted Knight. 

Access to these people was amazingly easy.  You called their publicist and asked politely.  Usually, the rep would set up a time and give you a phone number, usually their dressing room or sometimes their home.  I remember the sounds of hammers and nails when I interviewed Karen Valentine.  Her then-husband was doing a kitchen renovation in the background.  Alan Alda was munching on potato chips and his wife asked for the car keys in the middle of our talk.

It was all so simple.

And, then one day, I read a small item in the New York Daily News.  A new feature-length cartoon was opening in New York.  And one of its voices was in town to promote it.

Paul Lynde.

Gulp.

Damn whatever classes I had that week.  I was bound and determined to book my former idol for a one-on-one.  I was a kid with a single focus.

Tracking Paul down, however, was not easy.  After many attempts, I finally got a hold of the movie publicist. 

"Mr. Lynde is very busy.  But I will see if I can squeeze you in."

More silence as I waited.  I called again.

"It's not looking good, young man.  Mr. Lynde is very, very busy."

Crap.

More silence as I waited some more.

"I've left a message at the Plaza Hotel where he's staying.  But I can tell you he is completely booked.  Sorry."

Sorry?  For what?  You just gave me a great idea.

The Plaza Hotel.  For a nano-second, I thought about camping out in the lobby and simply wait for him to swagger through the lobby.  But, in this case, I opted to be a little more professional.  I would try to call him myself.  In those days, the "do not disturb" feature had not found its way to very many hotel switchboards.

I gave my future phone call a long and hard think.  I rehearsed my quick thirty-second request for an interview.  No fuss, little muss.  I'd get to the point and expect a fast "yes" or "no."  That wasn't the tricky part.

How would I know when he would be in his hotel room?  I thought about my youth and how I would comb through each week's TV Guide to see when Paul was on the tube that week.  Hmmmm?

If this guy is as big a ham as I think he is, he's going to be in his room if he's set to guest on some show that week.  Sure enough, he was.  This meant I would be calling his room at 9PM but a determined reporter has to do what he has to do.

No sooner than fifteen seconds after the conclusion of the TV show, I hit the digits on the phone. 

"Mr. Paul Lynde's room, please."

The switchboard operator didn't flinch in connecting me.  The phone rang once.  Twice.  A third time.

Well, this idea was all wet, I thought. 

And then...

The voice was unmistakable.

"Heelllllllllllllo."

Bingo.

I ran through my thirty-second request in less than twenty.  I probably sounded like a raving lunatic to the renowned center square.  But, like the switchboard operator, Paul Lynde didn't flinch either.

"I'd be happy to do.  Call me here on Saturday at 1PM."

And that was it.  I had score some face/phone time with Paul Lynde.

My interview preparations were nothing short of David Frost's legendary session with President Richard Nixon.  When I looked down at the questions I had composed, I realized that I had gone into triple figures.  I needed to pare this down some.  Perhaps I shouldn't ask about his favorite brand of ketchup.   And I didn't really need to know the pre-sets on his car radio, did I?

Saturday at 1PM took forever to get there.  And, in some respects, it all happened too fast.  

I also began to wonder if Lynde had completely blown me off.  Maybe he wouldn't be there in his hotel room at 1PM.  I began to doubt the whole connection had ever happened.  I fully expected to have the telephone operator tell me "Mr. Lynde has checked out."

But, he hadn't.  I called promptly and he answered almost as quickly.  Nerves became an issue as I stumbled on the first question.  But, once I got my bearings, I moved the interview along and completed it in an efficient half-hour.  There were moments of pause when I could tell that the comic was taking on his cigarette.  This was even more noticeable when he begged off for a bit so he could have a coughing fit. 

Overall, Paul was very polite, respectful, and compliant.  As I look back, most of my queries were the softball-like questions that Larry King used to ask on CNN.  But, for me, this was sheer heaven.  Years after laughing hysterically with my grandmother as we listened to his latest Hollywood Squares zinger, I was actually an adult.  Talking to Paul Lynde like a professional.

A few years later, Lynde did a nightclub act that toured the country.  One of the stops was the Westbury Music Fair.  Of course, I was a ticket buyer.

Back in those days, it was not uncommon for stars to do an autograph signing in the lobby after such a show.  We queued up as did most of the patrons that night.  As we approached the table, I got a good look at Paul Lynde.

Dressed in a brightly colored caftan.  Frilly slippers.  And laughing like a school girl.

After all those times playing the "Bye Bye Birdie" cast album.  After all those years of fandom.  After that amazing phone interview. 

I finally got it.  A-ha.

Dinner last night:   Roast chicken at the Hollywood Bowl. 

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - August 2025

 Yikes!!!  60 years old this month.


Dinner last night:  Pork potstickers.

Friday, August 22, 2025

The Back to School Photo Album

Is that smell me?
It's the first day of school and he's already constipated.
Woody Harrelson, age 6.
Didn't get that rifle he wanted.
Mom should does love those eyebrow tweezers.
"My teacher's not wearing any underwear."
I think I was right the first time.
How quickly was his head shoved down a toilet?

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.
 

Thursday, August 21, 2025

And Just Like That...

 

The reboot was over.   Sex was no longer in the city.   And, frankly, they should have stopped while they were ahead.

As a big fan of Sarah Jessica Parker, I did grow to enjoy the HBO series from about 25 years ago.   And I sort of liked the movies that were spawned from it.   

When the reboot was announced about five years ago, I was skeptical but signed on nonetheless.  Almost immediately, I was met by a bunch of plot lines that seemed to want to repel fans at a geometric rate.

First off, there was no Samantha as played by Kim Cattrall.   Instead she was replaced in the galpal circle by two Black women and an Indian real estate agent played by Sarita Choudhury.   I mention her name only because I once talked to her at a Christmas Eve about 30 years ago.   

But I digress.   Just suffice it to say that the reboot was looking pointlessly crowded.   

And to make matter worse, the now married Carrie watched her husband, the infamous Mr. Big, drop dead on a Peloton in the very second episode.   I needed to remind myself that this was supposed to be a comedy.

But there were more goofy changes.   Charlotte, as played by Kristin Davis, suddenly became dumber than ever.  Miranda, now played by the now-lesbian Cynthia Nixon, was also now a bisexual as they apparently were looking for a reason to get Nixon on set on time.

Inexplicably, the reboot meandered around HBO Max for about three seasons until somebody finally told somebody that it never worked in the first place.  Grasping at straws, they tried to solve their problems by setting up Carrie back with former love Aidan.   And then they broke that up because it wasn't working.  At one point, they killed off a minor supporting character.   Despite the fact that they had already done it a season earlier.
  
Yeppers, none of it ever worked or made sense.   Miraculously, I watched every episode.  But even my super fandom of SJP couldn't help.   Why was I watching this?   And how much longer do I have to?

As of last week, HBO called the governor and I have been pardoned.   Woo boy.   

Life improved immediately.   Just like that...

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

This Date in History - August 20

 

Happy birthday, Don King.  I looked for the funniest picture of him I could find.  There were way too many choices.

14:  AGRIPPA POSTUMUS, ADOPTED SON OF THE LATE ROMAN EMPEROR AUGUSTUS, IS EXECUTED BY HIS GUARDS.

Postumus was now posthumous.

914: TSAR SIMEON I OF BULGARIA DECISIVELY DEFEATS A BYZANTINE ARMY DURING THE BATTLE OF ACHELOOS.

Gesundheit.

984:  POPE JOHN XIV DIES.

It's one of those killer dates if you're a Pope.

1308:  POPE CLEMENT V PARDONS JACQUES DE MOLAY, THE LAST GRAND MASTER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR.

Was one of those Knights Templar named Simon?

1519:  PHILOSOPHER AND GENERAL WANG YANGMING DEFEATS ZHU CHENHAO, ENDING THE PRINCE OF NING REBELLION AGAINST THE REIGN OF THE MING DYNASTY EMPEROR ZHENGDE. 

Now that's a mouthful.

1707:  THE FIRST SIEGE OF PENSACOLA COMES TO END WITH THE FAILURE OF THE BRITISH TO CAPTURE PENSACOLA, FLORIDA.

So, as consolation, they went after a six pack of Pepsi Cola.

1775:  THE SPANISH ESTABLISH THE PRESIDIO SAN AUGUSTIN DEL TUCSON IN THE TOWN THAT BECAME TUCSON, ARIZONA.

Clever.  How did they think of that?

1823:  POPE PIUS VII DIES.

Also a killer days for Popes named Pius.

1866:  PRESIDENT ANDREW JOHNSON FORMALLY DECLARES THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR OVER.

Extra points if he stuck his tongue out at the time.

1882:  TCHAIKOVSKY'S 1812 OVERTURE DEBUTS IN MOSCOW, RUSSIA. 

Just the Overture?  Where's the rest of the show?

1910:  THE GREAT FIRE OF 1910 OCCURS IN NORTHEAST WASHINGTON, NORTHERN IDAHO, AND WESTERN MONTANA.

Smokey the Bear warned you.

1914:  DURING WORLD WAR I, GERMAN FORCES OCCUPY BRUSSELS.

Dying for a plate of sprouts.

1914:  POPE PIUS X DIES.

Which means that, in less than a century, there were two other Popes named Pius.

1918:  AUTHOR JACQUELINE SUSANN IS BORN.

If she was an only child, once was definitely enough.

1920:  THE FIRST COMMERCIAL RADIO STATION, 8MK, BEGINS OPERATIONS IN DETROIT.

News, weather, and traffic on the hour.

1926:  JAPAN'S PUBLIC BROADCASTING COMPANY, NIPPON HOSO KYOKAI, IS ESTABLISHED.

First children's show was the Erectric Company.

1931:  BOXING PROMOTER DON KING IS BORN.

I wonder how much hair he had then.

1938:  LOU GEHRIG HITS HIS 23RD CAREER GRAND SLAM---A RECORD THAY STOOD FOR 75 YEARS UNTIL IT WAS BROKEN BY ALEX RODRIGUEZ.

Except Gehrig never had to pee in a cup.

1940:  BRITISH PRIME MINISTER WINSTON CHURCHILL MAKES THE FOURTH OF HIS FAMOUS WARTIME SPEECHES, CONTAINING THE LINE "NEVER WAS SO MUCH OWED BY SO MANY TO SO FEW."  

Of course, he immediately added, "can I get a cup of tea, please?"

1942:  MUSICIAN ISAAC HAYES IS BORN.

Talkin' about Shaft.

1946:  JOURNALIST CONNIE CHUNG IS BORN.

Mrs. Maury Povich to you.

1950:  UNITED NATIONS REPEL AN OFFENSIVE BY NORTH KOREAN DIVISIONS ATTEMPTING TO CROSS THE NAKTONG RIVER AND ASSAULT THE CITY OF TAEGU.

Doctors in war-torn Korea.  I smell a movie.  Maybe even a TV series.

1954:  TV PERSONALITY AL ROKER IS BORN.

I'm reminded again by Winston Churchill's comment.  "Never has so much attention been wasted on so little a talent."

1968:  SOVIET UNION DOMINATED-WARSAW PACT TROOPS INVANDE CZECHOSLOVAKIA, CRUSHING THE PRAGUE SPRING. 

Prague Spring?   In August???

1975:  NASA LAUNCHES THE VIKING I PLANETARY PROBE TOWARD MARS.

What makes them think that Mars wanted to be probed at all?

1977:  NASA LAUNCHES THE VOYAGER 2 SPACECRAFT.

So, I guess that, if you're working at NASA in the late 70s, you're getting a lot of overtime.

1988:  DURING THE IRAN-IRAQ WAR, A CEASEFIRE IS AGREED AFTER ALMOST EIGHT YEARS OF WAR.

I always giggle when I see the word "ceasefire" pertaining to the Middle East.

1991:  MORE THAN 100,000 PEOPLE RALLY OUTSIDE THE SOVIET UNION'S PARLIAMENT BUILDING PROTESTING THE COUP AIMED AT DEPOSING PRESIDENT MIKHAIL GORBACHEV.

"Mr. Gorbachev, we're tearing you down next."

1998:  THE UNITED STATES LAUNCHES CRUISE MISSILE ATTACKS AGAINST ALLEGED AL-QAEDA CAMPS IN AFGHANISTAN.

Even way back then.

2007:  BUSINESSWOMAN LEONA HELMSLEY DIES.

So there is now a vacancy.

2012:  COMEDIENNE PHYLLIS DILLER DIES.

Fitting that this happens on Don King's birthday.

2017:  COMIC JERRY LEWIS DIES.

I have a sense that he was immediately in an argument with God.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chili.

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

How Do You Measure Mobility?

 

Or, as the title of the play goes..."The Loneliness of the Short Distance Walker."

The visual up above will be explained in a few paragraphs.

My closest of friends know that I have had limited mobility since...God knows...the first day of gym class in senior year of high school.   Something tore and the rip was audible.   Of course, back then, my parents didn't know what an orthopedist was...let alone how to spell it.   If you had any sort of ailment, you went to the family doctor whose course of treatment was an Ace bandage and some Tylenol.

Over the many decades, my right knee was serviceable but grew progressively worse.  But I learned to live with it via cortisone shots and the occasional arthroscopic surgery to "clean things up."   It was never fixed completely.  Doctors would simply scoop up whatever fragments were in there.

About thirteen years ago, I tore my left leg meniscus coming out of a Broadway theater.   So now my compromise was at least evened out.   I was limping on both sides.

All of this screwed up my left hip and ultimately I had to deal with a surgeon for the ultimate repair.   And that brings up to the last two years when I have been in perma-recovery from two knee replacements and one hip replacement.

So everything is fine now, right?  Um, not really.

After the hip was repaired, my first steps gave me an odd sensation.   Was one leg shorter than the other?

Yes, said my surgeon and he told it was a common by-product that would "solve itself over time."

When I mentioned that to Justin, my superb physical therapist, his response was telling.

"No, it won't."  

After waiting a month or two to see if my surgeon was joshing me, Justin did a measurement.   And, yes, indeedy, my longtime right knee problem was 7/8 of an inch shorter.  That's not a fraction you want to have.   That disparity is major.  It was a watershed moment in my life.

And led to several weeks of having lifts built into my sneakers and shoes.   Frankly, it's the first time I've been to see a shoe repair man in my life, except for my best bud Leo's uncle who had a shop on White Plains Road in the Bronx.  Luckily, I found a similar Italian guy in Westwood Village and he, too, did Jesus-like work.

For the first time in my life, I am walking straight.   Not fast, but straight.   And all it cost was ninety dollars per shoe.

For me...priceless.

Dinner last night:  Chili.

Monday, August 18, 2025

Monday Morning Video Laugh - August 18, 2025

 The TV blooper parade continues.   And even the great Lucille Ball was not immune to a flub or two.  Watch how Desi covers for her.


Dinner last night:  Italian sandwich.

Sunday, August 17, 2025

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Acting Up

 

Here's an ugly little secret.   I always wanted to be an actor.   And on the stage as you see in this photo of me at the Hollywood Bowl, several years and fifty pounds more ago.  

This all came to light again for me a few years ago as I have been dealing with some agents for a little thing we do.   You'll learn more about it soon.   But, for bizarre reasons, we found ourselves three weeks prior to the event and without a male lead.  Both actors we had previously cast in what is essentially a volunteer production booked work.   The joke became "if you're an actor and you associate with Len, you will immediately get an acting gig...elsewhere."

So, we immediately put out the word to the rest of our cast for a very specific type.

"33-36, male, JFK Jr. type."

I was inundated within a day.   I had more headshots in my house than Errol Flynn.  As I looked at practically every good looking 34-year-old in Hollywood, I thought about this world which I, from time to time, thought about pursuing.   How tough it can be.   How difficult it must feel to be rejected when 500 people show up for the same single role.   I know that actors must develop a strong constitution and not take things personally.

Suddenly, I was glad I wasn't one of them.   

We narrowed our choice to three actors.   To break the tie, we had them read lines for us.  And then I realized my next horror.

I was going to have to tell two of them that they weren't picked.

Yep, suddenly, those acting classes I took for a semester in New York didn't seem like such a good idea.  I had dreamed once of a bucket list item---participating in a community theater production of a musical comedy.  

Nah, no more.  Indeed, my single experience as an actor will have to do.   Way back in the fifth grade.   And even that was horrific.

My fifth grade French class was putting on a performance of "Le Petit Chapeau Rouge." That's "Little Red Riding Hood" for the non-Jerry Lewis fans in the reading audience. Because I had one of the top three grades in the class, I was a shoo-in for a role. 

So was this rather chunky girl who would become essentially "Le Petit Chapeau Rouge Tres Grosse." The third role went to another guy.

The teacher saw me in the lead. 

The wolf. 

And, in retrospect, I should have relished that. I now envision all the great things I could have done with the part. Perhaps a little Paul Lynde inflection. Maybe Snidley Whiplash. As long as it was spoken in French, I had carte blanche....another French expression.

Until I read the script.

At the end of the show, the woodsman arrives to save Le Petit Chapeau Rouge Tress Grosse by embedding an axe into the wolf's head. As Le Lobo falls dead, the entire cast sings a song over the animal's body and dances merrily around the carcass.

Huh?

In my fifth grade egotistical mind, I was uncomfortably frosted by the ending. Sure it was true to the story. But, if I had developed such a likeable and funny rendition of the Wolf, couldn't he be simply caught? That way, even with paws tied, I could be around for the grand finale. I provided my notes to the teacher, who was unimpressed. Actually freakin' angry.

"Who do you think you are, young man?"

I pushed it. Pretty much providing her with a rewrite of the last scene. 

Unknown to me, this was her own script which she had used year in and year out for the past decade.

"You will not change a word, young man. Do you want to be the wolf or not?"

Stupidly, I said "no." I was asked to trade roles with the kid playing the woodsman, who turned out to be a delicious scream as the Wolf.

Yes, I was alive for the end as I bulldozed the chubby heroine around the stage in triumphant song. But, the teacher refused to speak to me the rest of the year. Luckily, it was May and we didn't have much longer to go.

At the end of the school term, I still wound up with an "A+" in French. Merci beaucoup.

That was my farewell performance on stage.   And, with what I know and see now, that's a good thing.   I salute actors all over the world.   I'm grateful for the ones that I am getting to work with.  Your world is a lot tougher than even I could imagine.

Yeah, I'll just write the words to put in their mouths.

Dinner last night:   Chicken sausage and broccoli salad.

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Classic TV Theme of the Month - August 2025

 Forty years ago, this was beginning its second season.  RIP, Malcolm Jamal-Warner.  Too bad your show doesn't get rerun any more.   Thanks to your scumbag TV dad.


Dinner last night:  Had a big lunch so just some ice cream.

Friday, August 15, 2025

When Summer Photos Were King

 

Take your child on an amusement park ride and suddenly she's starring in "The Exorcist Part 4."

Cooking instructions:  Take one child.  Wrap in tin foil.  Bake at 350 degrees till crisp.
The annual meeting of the Clint Howard Fan Club.
What happens when Mom fogets to fill those Christmas stockings.
"Here, use this."
Johnny's favorite piece of the birthday cake is the breast.
What happens when you don't pay attention to the cooking instructions I listed above.
"Here comes Grandma.  And, er, there goes Grandma."

Reminds me of what my own grandmother would say when she caught me doing this.
"Are you digging for gold?"
The acorn really fell far from the family tree.

Dinner last night:   Cheese and crackers. 

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Chomp

 

I saw this advertisement for a documentary celebrating the 50th Anniversary of "Jaws" and my immediate reaction was...

I'll bite.

Yep, something I could really sink my teeth into.  

Okay, I'll stop.

"Jaws" lands at the eighth spot on my list of My Top 25 Favorite Movies of All Time.  I still remember the day a bunch of us kids saw it.   Opening day in 1975 at this very claustrophobic theater on Fordham Road in the Bronx.   The perfect way to have the walls and the screen close in on us.

Subsequently, I've gotten to see the movie several times when it runs on a big screen.  It's fun to watch former kids taking their children to see it for the first time.   They don't know what the first big scary moment is and it's lots of screams when they all realize they need a bigger boat.

This documentary is terrific.  Oh, sure, I know all the behind-the-scenes stuff already e.g., the shark is named Bruce and it never worked.  But, somehow, this compendium seemed to include a lot of new footage and information.  Plus I learned that the shark hanging in the new Academy Museum is the real thing.
Just watch this documentary.   It will give you plenty of trivia to chew on.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Pork potstickers and spicy noodles.

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

This Date in History - August 13

 

Happy birthday in Heaven to Pat Harrington Jr..   A fellow Fordham graduate.

3114 BC:  THE MESOAMERICAN LONG COUNT CALENDAR, USED BY THE MAYANS, BEGINS.

That's a long, long, long time ago. 

523:  JOHN I BECOMES THE NEW POPE AFTER THE DEATH OF POPE HORMISDAS.

Pope Horm, for short.

554:  EMPEROR JUSTINIAN I REWARDS LIBERIUS FOR HIS LONG AND DISTINGUISHED SERVICE IN THE PRAGMATIC SANCTION, GRANTING HIM EXTENSIVE ESTATES IN ITALY.

So we'll be seeing him flip those estates on HGTV?

582:  MAURICE BECOMES EMPEROR OF THE EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE.

Maurice?  Is that the guy in the Pompatus of Love?

1099:  POPE PASCHAL II SUCCEEDS POPE URBAN II AS THE 160TH POPE.

Urban was the first Pope named after a radio format.

1532:  THE DUCHY OF BRITTANY IS ABSORBED INTO THE KINGDOM OF FRANCE.

France is apparently super absorbent.

1624:  THE FRENCH KING LOUIS XIII APPOINTS CARDINAL RICHILIEU AS PRIME MINISTER.

I guess Cardinal Stan Musial wasn't available.

1792:  THE CONVENTION OF LONDON, A TREATY BETWEEN THE UNITED KINGDOM AND THE UNITED PROVINCES, IS SIGNED IN LONDON.

Where else would you sign the Convention of London?

1831:  NAT TURNER SEES A SOLAR ECLIPSE, WHICH HE BELIEVES IS A SIGN FROM GOD.  EIGHT DAYS LATER, HE AND 70 OTHER SLAVES KILL 55 WHITES IN VIRGINIA.

I don't see God said exactly that.

1860:  TARGET SHOOTER ANNIE OAKLEY IS BORN.

Because Father Oakley was an even sharper shooter.

1895:  ACTOR BERT LAHR IS BORN.

I am the King of the Forest.

1899:  DIRECTOR ALFRED HITCHCOCK IS BORN.

Good evening.

1906:  THE ALL BLACK INFANTRYMEN OF THE US ARMY'S 25TH INFANTRY REGIMENT ARE ACCUSED OF KILLING A WHITE BARTENDER.

Another sign from God?

1918:  WOMEN ENLIST IN THE US MARINE CORPS FOR THE FIRST TIME. 

Shazam, Sarge.  I just saw me a lady in the shower.

1918:  BMW IS ESTABLISHED AS A PUBLIC COMPANY IN GERMANY.

Beemer.

1926:  CUBAN LEADER FIDEL CASTRO IS BORN.

It would be cliché if they handed out cigars.

1929:  ACTOR PAT HARRINGTON JR. IS BORN.

I introduced myself to him once at a Fordham Alumni party but it was only to see if he had Valerie Bertinelli's number.

1930:  MUSICIAN DON HO IS BORN.

Tiny bubbles.

1942:  WALT DISNEY'S "BAMBI" PREMIERES.

Watch out for forest fires.

1946:  AUTHOR HG WELLS DIES.

Now he's really invisible.

1961:  EAST GERMANY CLOSES THE BORDER BETWEEN THE EASTERN AND WESTERN SECTORS OF BERLIN.

This is the wall that Gorbachev later tore down.

1964:  PETER ALLEN AND GWYNNE EVANS ARE HANGED FOR THE MURDER OF JOHN ALAN WEST BECOMING THE LAST PEOPLE EXECUTED IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.

Not the Peter Allen who was "married" to Liza Minnelli. 

1969:  THE APOLLO 11 ASTRONAUTS ARE RELEASED FROM A THREE-WEEK QUARANTINE TO ENJOY A TICKER TAPE PARADE IN NEW YORK.

Hello?  Three weeks in quarantine?  Do you know the germs you can find on today's regular jetliner?

1995:  BASEBALL STAR MICKEY MANTLE DIES.

So, I assume the 60 day disabled list?

2004:  HURRICANE CHARLEY STRIKES FLORIDA.

As if hurricanes are a new invention.

2004:  CHEF JULIA CHILD DIES.

Béchamel that.

2007:  BASEBALL STAR PHIL RIZZUTO DIES.

Holy Cow.

2010:  AUTHOR EDWIN NEWMAN DIES.

Or kicks the bucket.  Relatively speaking.

2012:  AUTHOR HELEN GURLEY BROWN DIES.

Magazine subscription expired.

2024:  COOKIE MOGUL WALLY AMOS DIES.

And Andy weeps.

Dinner last night:  Italian salad.