That old NY Daily News fossil and sports columnist Dick Young used to write something called "Diamond Dust." Little short knee-jerk reactions to what he was watching in the sports world at any given time. In the true Dick Young spirit, here's what is getting my attention during this year's World Series. The only difference is that I'm writing this stone sober.
---The San Francisco Giants dragged out Tony Bennett for "God Bless America." Okay, I was never a fan of this asshole, but even his most ardent fans would agree that the voice is shot. It's time to find that next career, Tony. Here's an idea. When will you have my shoes done?
---Naturally, the Texas Rangers pulled out two President Bushes for a first ball ceremony. Bush I ain't looking too swift. He might be next in line for the week-long tribute and processional. That's assuming, of course, that some Habitat for Humanity lunatic doesn't take a staple gun to Jimmy Carter.
---I caught former First Lady Barbara Bush working on a scorebook. Now I'm wondering if she uses a backwards "K" for strikeouts that are swinging.
---In baseball, skinheads are apparently out and big beards are in. Which would be killing Gillette if they were still the World Series sponsor.
---And then there's Giant closer and resident dumbbell Brian Wilson...
---The beard's bad enough. The black shoe polish is a little over the top.
---He sort of reminds me of that toy I had when I was a kid. When you talk a magnet to move those metal shavings around somebody's face.
---I had the misfortune of listening to a few innings of the World Series on the radio. Once again, Jon Miller is one of the most overrated baseball announcers working today. Downright shilling for the Giants. No mistaking that he's been employed by the Giants in the past.---You never ever hear any of that from Vin Scully.
---Of course, the radio also brought me a little bit of Joe Morgan and that's enough for a lifetime.
---"Let me tell you all why the baseball is round. If it was shaped in a triangle or a rectangle, the aerodynamics might be different and it would spin differently. Also, with a more pointed surface, you're liable to see more injuries....."
---Five minutes later, this schmuck is still talking. Somebody take a stick and kill it.
---Maybe it's me, but I look at Giant pitcher Tim Lincecum and I see a lesbian tennis player.
---Madison Bumgarner sounds like one of those slip-and-fall lawyers who advertise on the back of a bus.
---It's amazing to watch the Giants' postseason success. They're doing it with a mix of fourth outfielders and utility infielders.
---One man's junk is another man's second baseman.
---Outfielder Cody Ross is playing so far over his head that he should be experiencing altitude problems.
---To all those Giant fans who loved to make fun of Manny Ramirez wigs...
---The "Kung Fu Panda" Pablo Sandoval looks like he's been spending a lot of time at Panda Express.
---I don't know when Josh Hamilton had the time to drink and take drugs, what with all the body art he has had installed.
---No single human being should take longer to read than "Great Expectations."
---I know I'm one of the dissenters, but I have always liked Fox announcer Tim McCarver. After all, this is the guy who taught my mother baseball.
---But, Timmy, come on. Accept the aging process. There should be no way that you get more regular Botox injections than Joan Van Ark.
---Have you noticed this? President Obama was not asked to throw out a single first ball during the entire playoff season.
---Hmmmm...
---Too busy or simply not invited?
---Nancy Pelosi was spotted at Petco Park, but she was also not asked to throw out the first ball.
---That's probably because America today is throwing out Nancy Pelosi.
---Speaking of which, like the stimulus plan, Cliff Lee in a World Series is no guarantee for success.
---That's because, since I started writing this entry, the Giants became the World Champions of baseball.
---Bucky Fucking Dent, please move over. You have company.
---Edgar Fucking Renteria.
---I am officially waiting for next year. The next time the Giants play a baseball game will be on Friday, April 1, 2011. Opening day at Dodger Stadium.
---Probable starters: Tim Lincecum vs. Clayton Kershaw. Bring it on!
Dinner last night: Fettucini with sausage and rapini at Maria's Italian Kitchen.
3 comments:
Let's hear it for Wooly Willy and his magic wand.
Having rooted for the Giants since 1959 (WINS did games back to NY after the move), I can truthfully say Monday was the happiest night of my sporting life.
And amazingly, the 2010 Giants are much like the beloved 1969 Mets -- great pitching and a ragtag lineup that got contributions from everyone on different nights (except the Giants waited a lot longer). It's not a recipe for a dynasty, but for one year, it's a championship formula -- and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Yes, Tim Lincecum looks weird and Pablo Sandoval looks like he ate a Kung Fu Panda, but it's a night to savor for a long time.
Puck----
And enjoy you should. I did notice some strong similarities to the '69 Mets. Guys (except for the pitchers and maybe Posey) who will never have that kind of year ever again.
Total serendipity. The right combination at the absolute right time.
Congrats.
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