Classic TV Theme of the Month - June 2017

My late dad's birthday is this coming Tuesday.  A perfect time to run the theme song for one of his favorite TV shows.   Yeah, I know.  I don't get it either.

Dinner last night:  Salad bar.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for June 2017

This great popcorn movie opened fifty years ago this month and set up for a rollicking summer at the cinema.   I'm still shocked that Jim Brown couldn't outrun those grenades.

Meanwhile, Hollywood starts its 2017 summer and I doubt there will be anything as entertaining.   You know the drill, boys and girls.   I'll zip through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my gut reaction to the crap in our theaters this weekend.   

Or watch for "The Dirty Dozen" on TCM.

Wonder Woman:   On its opening weekend, everybody in the universe but me saw it.  I can't believe the attention.   What am I missing?

The Mummy:   Starring Tom Cruise, the Dummy.

The Hero:   About some old cowboy that's a lot like Sam Elliott.  Oh, wait, it is Sam Elliott.

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Men Tell No Tales:  I'd walk a plank first.

Paris Can Wait:   So can this movie.

Band Aid:  If the film sucks, maybe it won't hurt so much when you pull it off quickly.

Megan Leavey:   All about a female soldier and her dog.   Here, Lassie!

Beatriz at Dinner:   I hear this is a dreadful tale about people talking politics over dinner.   As if our own personal lives aren't bad enough.

Dean:  Paging Frank and Sammy.

It Comes at Night:  For me, it's cold sweats.

Norman - The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer:   Say the title and the movie is over.

My Cousin Rachel:  Based on a novel by Daphne du Maurier.   Book report optional.

The Wedding Plan:  After her fiance calls off their wedding a month before the ceremony, a woman decides to keep the reservation and trusts God will provide her with a husband.  Let me know how that works out.

Churchill:  Self-explanatory.   I hope.

All Eyez on Me:   A biopic about Tupac Shakur.   Eyez and well, also a sheet.

The Book of Henry:   This might be the forgotten Gospel.

Can Hitler Happen Here:   No, this is not a documentary about our current President.

Cars 3:   As a movie franchise, it's a better amusement park ride.

47 Meters Down:   Two women trapped in a shark cage.   You'll need a bigger cage.

Rough Night:  A bachelorette party goes south when the male stripper dies.   That's like the perfect elevator pitch to get my attention.

Pray for Rain:  Murder in drought-stricken California.   We told that guy not to water his lawn.

Moscow Never Sleeps:   How else can you keep up with all the information leaks?

Maudie:  Ethan Hawke as a folk artist in love with some old timer.   Free admission with an AARP card.

Long Live the King:  A documentary on King Kong.  Now that's interesting to me.

Kill Switch:  People harvesting energy from parallel universes.   I literally yawned halfway through that sentence.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pasta.

Restaurant Shout Out of the Month - June 2017

Welcome to my new monthly feature on this blog.   And I stumbled into it.  

A good friend of mine have started a monthly adventure to have lunch out at some place we have always heard about but never sampled to date.  Luckily, in Los Angeles, you have a wide choice of hidden dining treasures to choose from.

So, the latest stop was Langer's Deli conveniently located in the heart of the city's most impoverished neighborhoods.   Seriously, this is clearly one of the poorest sections around with many homeless folks living in MacArthur Park across the street.   Yes, MacArthur Park is melting in the dark...and the light.  

After I parked my car, I witnessed a fist fight on the first block I walked through.  Then an old lady was having words with a shopkeeper.

'YOU'RE A MOTHER FUCKING THIEF!!!!"

And so and so forth.   The price one pays to sample a legendary restaurant that has existed for years.   The place is only open until 4PM.   Yeah, I wouldn't want to be around this area at night either.

I have heard about Langer's many times on those Food Network shows that go around to various eating establishments around the country.   Plus, on Phil Rosenthal's outstanding PBS food show, Langer's was a featured segment on the episode devoted to Los Angeles dining.

Now the menu at Langer's is, as you would expect, loaded with all sorts of typical deli fare.    But, as I also learned on Phil's show, the big attraction there is one singular item.  

The #19 Sandwich.

Yep, it's the big seller there.   And, when you look at the components, it seems like it's done all before.

Pastrami.  Swiss Cheese.  Cole Slaw.  Russian Dressing.  On rye bread.

Chances are you may have had something like this previously.

Well, I, of course, had to try the #19.  And, as a result, I Tweeted a big thank you to Phil Rosenthal when I got home.

The way these elements came together on my plate were absolutely miraculous. No single taste overtook the others.  It all blended seamlessly to what was likely the best sandwich I ever had in my life.  

Now you would think that, with all this stuff on the sandwich, it would fall apart in your hands.   Nope.   It held together from first bite to last.

The secret to the #19 is the rye bread that Langer's bakes itself.   The process is called double baking.   And the result is a density that also is complimented by a crispy crust.  As a result, the pastrami and the slaw and the dressing is anchored together.   I don't know how they do it, but it is sheer magic in your mouth.

If I go back to Langer's again, I would be hard pressed to order anything else from the extensive bill of fare.   It's #19 all the way for me.

Now if only I could go there without worrying about my car being stolen.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich and salad.

This Date in History - June 14

Happy birthday to Marla Gibbs...the last person standing from the Jeffersons cast.

1158:  MUNICH IS FOUNDED BY HENRY THE LION.

Sounds like a Dr. Seuss character.

1287:  KUBLAI KHAN DEFEATS THE FORCE OF NAYAN IN EAST MONGOLIA.

The Force of Nayan?  Didn't that open at 500 theaters last Friday?

1381:  RICHARD II OF ENGLAND MEETS LEADERS OF THE PEASANTS' REVOLT.

You want to pay attention to the peasants.   That's how Trump got elected.

1645:  IN THE ENGLISH CIVIL WAR, 12,000 ROYALIST FORCES ARE BEATEN BY 15,000 SOLDIERS.

Ever notice how bloody world history can get?

1775:  THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION - THE CONTINENTAL ARMY IS ESTABLISHED BY THE CONTINENTAL CONGRESS, MARKING THE BIRTH OF THE US ARMY.

So that's how they started.

1777:  THE STARS AND STRIPES IS ADOPTED BY CONGRESS AS THE FLAG OF THE US.

Betsy, you can stop now.

1789:  MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY - CAPTAIN BLIGH AND 18 OTHERS ARE CAST ADRIFT IN AN OPEN BOAT.

So it wasn't just a movie?

1801:  BENEDICT ARNOLD DIES.

What goes around...

1811:  AUTHOR HARRIET BEECHER STOWE IS BORN.

Hello, Topsy.

1822:  CHARLES BABBAGE PROPOSES A DIFFERENCE ENGINE IN A PAPER TO THE ROYAL ASTRONOMICAL SOCIETY ENTITLED "NOTE ON THE APPLICATION OF MACHINERY TO THE COMPUTATION OF ASTRONOMICAL AND MATHEMATICAL TABLES."

Ever notice how boring world history can get?

1900:  HAWAII BECOMES A US TERRITORY.

Aloha.

1900:  THE REICHSTAG APPROVES A SECOND LAW THAT ALLOWS THE EXPANSION OF THE GERMAN NAVY.

We'll be sorry.

1907:  NORWAY GRANTS WOMEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

As long as dinner is on the table by six.

1909:  ACTOR BURL IVES IS BORN.

Christmas songs to be announced.

1919:  ACTOR GENE BARRY IS BORN.

It's Burke's law.

1921:  ACTRESS MARTHA GREENHOUSE IS BORN.

Never heard of her?   She was a character actress from NY and also ran a writers workshop I once took there.

1926:  BRAZIL LEAVES THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS.

After they tried to pay their annual dues with nuts.

1926:  DODGER PITCHER DON NEWCOMBE IS BORN.

Still see him around the ballpark.

1931:  ACTRESS MARLA GIBBS IS BORN.

I wish my housekeeper was this sassy.

1937:  PENNSYLVANIA BECOMES THE FIRST AND ONLY STATE TO CELEBRATE FLAG DAY AS A STATE HOLIDAY.

A day off is a day off.

1937:  THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES PASSES THE MARIJUANA TAX ACT.

Smokin'.

1940:  WORLD WAR II - PARIS IS OCCUPIED.

Rolled over and played dead is more like it.

1946:  PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP IS BORN.

My apologies.

1954:  US PRESIDENT DWIGHT EISENHOWER SIGNS A BILL THAT PLACES THE WORDS "UNDER GOD" INTO THE US PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

And does anybody know what that is any more?

1959:  THE DISNEYLAND MONORAIL OPENS.

I don't think I was ever on it.

1967:  THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA TESTS ITS FIRST HYDROGEN BOMB.

No wonder they're always wearing face masks.

1986:  COMPOSER ALAN JAY LERNER DIES.

He could have danced all night...but didn't.

1994:  COMPOSER HENRY MANCINI DIES.

Of all his work, I like what he did for "Victor/Victoria" best.

1994:  RIOTS OCCUR IN VANCOUVER AFTER THE NEW YORK RANGERS BEAT THE CANUCKS FOR THE STANLEY CUP.

Big deal since this only happens every 54 years.

2016:  ACTRESS ANN MORGAN GUILBERT DIES.

Millie from the Dick Van Dyke Show!

Dinner last night:  Bratwurst at the Angel-Yankee game.

What's All This Fuss About Russia?

Everybody's talking about Russia.   It's like the egghead in the photo above is back to pound a new pair of shoes at the United Nations.

You would have to be in a medically-induced coma to miss all the goings-on here in America the past couple of weeks.  Democrats who are still kvetching about their loss in the Presidential election last November are working overtime to try and impeach the winning candidate from office.  It's setting up a disturbing precedent in this country.   Hey, our person lost the election?   Well, let's just figure out a way to get the winner impeached.  This will be the standard operating procedure in our once-great, now-mediocre nation moving forward.

Okay, I am predicting they will get the super-arrogant Trump eventually, even though they never will actually find a crime like they did for Nixon.  Unless they can find a tape that Trump erased for 18 minutes, the next big offense they likely will nail him for is putting an empty container of milk back in the refrigerator.

But they are right now focusing on Orange Donald's supposed ties with Russia, who apparently did some back-room shenanigans to doctor our national election.  Hell, the deposed FBI Director, James Comey, said as much last week in those hearings which giddy liberals in LA were watching in bars and taverns at 8AM in the morning! (There's another reason why we need to worry about this country)  Even though Comey is originally from Yonkers which is an automatic demerit in my book, I am guessing he is correct.   I would be shocked if Russia wasn't playing some big joke on the US.   Nyet nyet nyuk nyuk.  

I had to laugh, however, at the hysterical hand wringing over this revelation.   Oh, my Lord, our democracy!   We've been had!   Cover the ears of the children nearby!   

Hello?

First of all, I'm not surprised that elections in this world, regardless of the nation, are not impacted by outside sources.  Is America that sanctimonious? Not only does it happen to us, but I would venture to say that we have done the same to others in our own history.  Elections are as clean as a whistle?   Oh, yeah, sure.  I'm sure the US has gotten involved to make sure some dictator in a South American arm pit of a country gets his comeuppance.  To be horrified at Russia's actions is to ignore our own perhaps sullied methods over time.

What's also comical is the actual accusation of collusion between Trump and Putin.  People act like this was all negotiated in a single phone call.   Puh-leze.   Russian operatives have probably been working on this project for years.   And when you think how vulnerable we were, please don't forget that a lot of that sinister engineering happened under the administration of not this Presidential asswipe, but the previous Presidential asswipe.   And maybe even the Presidential asswipe before him.  

Grow up, folks.  Get with the program.   This stuff has been in place for a while. But keep tuned into your favorite fake news channel because they will just keep telling you what you want to hear and believe.

Dinner last night:  Chicken tortellini.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - June 12, 2017

Following last week's prom proposal failure, here's a public marriage proposal that goes off the rails.

Dinner last night:  New York strip steak and pan roasted tomatoes with balsamic jam.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience

I love this photo on so many levels.  It's a vintage shot of "I Love Lucy" as it was shot with three cameras in front of a live studio audience.  A process that was essentially invented by the man at the center...Desi Arnaz.  Little did he know back in 1951 that this was an invention that would continue to provide audiences with the best television situation comedies all the way to 2017.

Okay, the multi-camera sitcom has fallen a little bit out of favor and I don't understand why.  There is something to be said about hearing genuine laughter being manufactured by real live people.  Heck, our latest project in development is written specifically to be done in front of 300 giddy folks on bleachers.  It is human connection.  It is the community of entertainment.  It is the way it should be.

There is nothing like laughter in general.

Of course, I laugh at strangers all the time.  Idiots who can't find their seats in a movie theater.  Morons who are texting, combing their hair, and eating a burrito all while behind the steering wheel of a car.  And, in Los Angeles, you can count on some goofy person to show up on every street corner.

They all get laughs from me and I am indeed a stranger.  But, frankly, I don't think they're trying to make me giggle.  When the merriment of another human being is the focus of what you are doing, then this is a completely different task altogether. 

I remember the first time I got that jolt of energy.  At the Fordham University Ramskeller.  In the basement of the campus center, it served as a pseudo-cafeteria and restaurant for the students.  Then they would move the tables and chairs aside on a Friday night and, suddenly, this was a disco.  School dances and more really bad memories for yours truly.  On most nights during my years as a Fordham student, the Ramskeller would be my own personal chamber of horrors.

But not on one Spring night of my junior year.  After years and years and years of cracking wise for my friends and hearing their laughter in response, my sense of humor and creativity would be tested in front of a room packed with strangers.  And the exhileration that followed will never be forgotten.

Backtracking, I was suddenly viewed as some comedic impressario at Fordham.  I've previously written extensively here about the radio situation comedy I created for WFUV-FM called "Diploma City."  Trust me, that effort proved that I had a lot to learn.  And while we thought this effort was funny, the production was still crammed full of my friends who were probably not the best critics. 

But, still, "Diploma City" inexplicably turned me into the Neil Simon of the Rose Hill campus.  I suddenly was in demand.  And completely floored when I got the following request from one of the journalism professors.

"How would you like to produce the entertainment for the annual Sigma Delta Chi dinner?"

Huh?

Sigma who?

Delta what?

Me?

"Yeah, you.  We could use about a half-hour of comedy right after dinner."

Knowing the quality of the food from the catering service at the Ramskeller, the meal could be comedy enough for the crowd.  But, nevertheless, I agreed to put this on.   And then I stopped to think.

What the hell am I going to do?

To prove that misery loves both company and comedy, I immediately pulled in some of the better actors from our radio sitcom.  Hams that all of them were, they were anxious to participate in whatever I dreamed up.  And, so as not to make this a lost cause for yours truly, I also engaged the services of a girl I had a crush on.  She could sing up a storm, but I was unclear how well she could be an actress.  But, hey, the producer needs to get something out of the evening, too.  Right?

We decided to put on a sketch show very similar to SNL or the old Carol Burnett Show.  Of course, we would be lampooning Fordham, the communications department, and life on campus.  If you weren't at the school at this very week and at this very moment, you would not get any of the gags.  But, despite the incredibly inside humor, we thought it was quite funny.  On paper.

We began assembling at the Ramskeller during its off hours to rehearse.  This certainly was not the Mark Hellinger Theater.  We assembled a stage from a pile of wood blocks.  There were no dressing rooms, so the cast would wear their own clothes with no changes during the entire show.  We couldn't figure out the stereo system so there was no music we could use.  And, of course, we were incredibly limited with sets.  If we couldn't concoct a set by using the tables and chairs at the Ramskeller, we were shit out of luck.

So, essentially, our show would be all about the acting.  And my words.

Throughout the rehearsals of this "Mickey-and-Judy-put-on-a-show-in-her-father's-barn" concoction, we realized that none of us knew what the fuck we were doing.  It was fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, make-it-up-as-you-go-along mayhem and spontaniety.

More importantly, we were having fun.

Everybody but my little discovery.  My protege and hopefully more. 

There was one sketch where a guy and a girl meet while on line to sign up for classes.  A relationship develops.  It was probably the trickiest sketch of the night.  And, of course, a real star turn for the actors.  The only problem was that my friend couldn't get the dialogue.  Or remember it.

What's a producer to do?

I seized upon this opportunity to do some one-on-one rehearsal time in a secluded corner of the Ramskeller.  Oh, nothing really happened.  But, I was making in-roads as a Svengali.  Maybe this is how John Derek had created his wife Bo.  We sat there for hours.  Running the lines over and over and over.

"I can't do this."

Oh, yeah, you can.  I tried to remember the line from "42nd Street."  This is going to be your moment.  You're going to get on that stage as a nobody.  And you're going to come off that stage a star.

Or something like that.

The night of the performance was a basketful of nerves for me.  After years of "entertaining,"  I was finally being entrusted to "ENTERTAIN."  Amuse a roomful of journalism students and faculty.  People I didn't know.  And folks who were likely expecting a lot after enduring a meal of Fordham-cafeteria-produced roast chicken.

Yikes.

As soon as we began, there was a lag of about twenty seconds before the first joke would hit.  What's that?

"HA HA HA HA HA HA."

The good news is that there was a regular guffaw every twenty seconds thereafter.  They were buying it all.  From my vantage point in the back of the Ramskeller, I saw people laughing.  A lot.

And I had written it. 

I can't describe the feeling of that night.  A cornucopia of emotions that had me soaring over the campus for several hours and even days.  The culmination of two decades spent crafting my sense of humor.  Now an audience was enjoying it.

Oddly enough, this evening was so successful that the same professor asked us to do another revue the very next spring.  With the experience under our belt, the show would be even better.  Right?

Wrong.

I used the best actors I could find.  We had more props available.  I figured I was a better writer so I doubled the number of sketches.

And it wasn't as good.  Another example that the first time is always your best effort.   A snowflake in our lives.  A moment that will never be duplicated.

And, by the way, if you're wondering, we didn't cast my protege the second time around.  Yeah, she was that bad the first time.  

Ah, the energy of that first evening my stuff was exposed to an audience.  There would be others.  Fingers crossed, there will be a lot more.

Dinner last night:  Chinese beef and shrimp from Panda Express.