The Mugs of October

 

You may not need drugs, but you sure do need a lawyer.

Let's hope the thing lying on his head is dead.

"I'm not on drugs.  Really.  I'm not."

Oh, my God!  They've arrested Whitney Houston's corpse!

Obama hopes you eventually change.

"Shit.  And I was registered to vote and everything."

Celebrating America's independence, look who lost theirs.

Comb please to Cell Block H.

So, was the pack of gum worth it?

"Damn new razor blades."

Dinner last night:   Hot dog.

In My World...

 

I am guessing this might be a new monthly blog feature.   One where I take to task idiocy in our lives that used to be non-idiotic.  

Let's start with air travel.   Now I have to admit that I am spoiled.  I used to do 70 to 80 thousand miles a month when I was going cross country all the time.  As a result, I got into the American Airline Million Miler club.   I'm sure people have their AA horror stories, but not moi.  Because of my status, I am treated like royalty by the employees.   Early boarding, assistance, you name it.

Now last week, I flew up to Seattle for some Dodger games.   And, as a result, I didn't fly AA for the first time in 25 years.  I was just a common slob on Alaska Airlines.   And I was with a lot of people who were even more common.  And sloppy.   

We were packed into this airline steerage which reminded me of the Irish down below on the Titanic.  It was serviceable but still...

And here's the first edict for my own world...

No more luggage allowed on air flights.   If you've got a suitcase, you check it like a normal person.   And, PS...it's free.   All that's allowed on board is a small travel bag or a back pack.   As a result, you won't be subjected to the boarding process that requires lifting some monstrous piece of luggage into the overhead.

Count on it.   There are always the weakest women in the world trying to lift that thing.  And they refuse help when you offer it.

And how many times have you seen one fall on a seated passenger's head?  Some airlines might want to take out concussion insurance.  And, if you shitcan luggage on board, you can leave on time

Yes, I'm crazy.   No, this will never happen.   But anything that can make air travel better gets a vote from me.

A million miles or not.

Dinner last night:  Butter shrimp.

This Date in History - October 1

 

Happy birthday, Julie Andrews.   A jolly holiday, indeed.

959:  EDGAR THE PEACEABLE BECOMES KING OF ENGLAND.

Peaceable sounds so pleasant, doesn't it?

1553:  THE CORONATION OF QUEEN MARY I OF ENGLAND.

The woman, not the boat.

1791:  FIRST SESSION OF THE FRENCH LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY.

What's worse than a roomful of politicians?   A roomful of French politicians.

1795:  BELGIUM IS CONQUERED BY FRANCE.

Much better chocolate.

1800:  SPAIN CEDES LOUISIANA TO FRANCE VIA THE TREAT OF SAN ILDEFONSO.

Hence the French Quarter of New Orleans.

1811:  THE FIRST STEAMBOAT TO SAIL THE MISSISSIPPI ARRIVES IN NEW ORLEANS. 

Now that it's all French and shit.

1829:  SOUTH AFRICAN COLLEGE IS FOUNDED IN CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA.

Well, you weren't expecting it to be in Ohio, were you?

1854:  THE WALTHAM WATCH COMPANY IS FOUNDED IN WALTHAM, MASSACHUSETTS.

Duh.

1880:  JOHN PHILIP SOUSA BECOMES LEADER OF THE US MARINE BAND.

Stars and stripes forever.

1880:  THE FIRST ELECTRIC LAMP FACTORY IS OPENED BY THOMAS EDISON.

Now that there's all this electricity and shit.

1890:  YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK IS ESTABLISHED BY THE US CONGRESS.

Don't feed the animals.  Or Congress, for that matter.

1903:  THE BOSTON AMERICANS PLAY THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES IN THE FIRST GAME OF THE MODERN WORLD SERIES.

They didn't have the kinks worked out yet.   It was the best 4 out of 8.

1908:  FORD PUTS THE MODEL T CAR ON THE MARKET AT A PRICE OF $825. 

Tires were in the deluxe package.

1910:  A LARGE BOMB DESTROYS THE LA TIMES BUILDING, KILLING 21.

So I guess it will delivered late on October 2?

1910:  CRIMINAL BONNIE PARKER IS BORN.

And, in a way, so is Faye Dunaway.

1918:  ARAB FORCES UNDER T.E. LAWRENCE, ALSO KNOWN AS LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, CAPTURE DAMASCUS.

If they did this is less than four hours, the battle was shorter than the movie.

1920:  ACTOR WALTER MATTHAU IS BORN.

Felix, Felix, Felix.

1927:  ACTOR TOM BOSLEY IS BORN.

Fonzie, Fonzie, Fonzie.

1930:  ACTOR RICHARD HARRIS IS BORN.

Next time you hear his 1968 hit "MacArthur Park," notice that he keeps calling it "MacArthur's Park."

1931:  THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE OPENS.

And immediately had a traffic jam.

1935:  ACTRESS JULIE ANDREWS IS BORN.

It's truly a shame she can't sing anymore.

1936:  FRANCISCO FRANCO IS NAMED HEAD OF SPAIN.

Still dead.

1940:  THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE, THE FIRST SUPER HIGHWAY IN THE US, OPENS TO TRAFFIC.

So what makes it super?   Like, can it fly and shit?

1946:  NAZI LEADERS ARE SENTENCED AT NUREMBERG TRIALS.

The so-called "Judgment."

1957:  THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF "IN GOD WE TRUST" ON US PAPER CURRENCY.

Now they say, "God?  What's that?"

1960:  NIGERIA GAINS INDEPENDENCE FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.

As if they'll be better off?

1962:  FIRST BROADCAST OF THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON.

Because you will probably ask, the very first guests were Groucho Marx, Joan Crawford, Mel Brooks, Rudy Vallee, and Tony Bennett.

1971:  WALT DISNEY WORLD OPENS IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA.

And, for the very first time, there are people in Orlando, Florida.

1971:  THE FIRST BRAIN SCAN, OR CAT SCAN, IS PERFORMED IN WIMBLEDON, LONDON. 

Because somebody got hit in the head by a tennis ball?

1979:  POPE JOHN PAUL II BEGINS HIS FIRST VISIT TO THE US.

Opening his Frequent Flyer account.

1982:  EPCOT OPENS AT WALT DISNEY WORLD.

Disney should does love October 1.

1982:  SONY LAUNCHES THE FIRST COMPACT DISC PLAYER.

What is a compact disc?

1984:  BASEBALL MANAGER WALTER ALSTON DIES.

The very first Dodger manager to win the World Series (1955).

1990:  GENERAL CURTIS LEMAY DIES.

As opposed to baseball's Lee May or Lee Maye.

1992:  CARTOON NETWORK BEGINS BROADCASTING.

If you like Tom and Jerry 24/7, this is the place for you.

2004:  PHOTOGRAPHER RICHARD AVEDON DIES.

Talk about a negative.

2013:  AUTHOR TOM CLANCY DIES.

The Hunt for Dead October.

2013:  THE US FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SHUTS DOWN NON-ESSENTIAL SERVICES AFTER IT IS UNABLE TO PASS A BUDGET MEASURE.

Here's a bulletin for everybody.  The US Government closes down every Saturday and Sunday.   And a whole bunch of Mondays, too.

2023:  BASEBALL PITCHER TIM WAKEFIELD DIES.

Known for his kunckleball and pitching multiple decades.

Dinner last night:  SPO from my freezer.