This Is Me Moving Forward

 Like it or not, this is what you've got in me for the rest of time we all have left.

I've had a catharsis of late.  As you may have read here before, I've been a 4-H project for a couple of orthopedic surgeons.   Over the last three years, I've had two knee replacements and one hip replacement.   I'm a platinum member of Bechtel Physical Therapy.   I work with a trainer twice a week.   I have done everything I am told to do in order to increase mobility.  

And still I move...well...slowly.  I will be the last one out of any building that catches fire.   Now I'm hoping I still get even better, especially now that I have shoe lifts that have evened out my gait.   

But still I move...slowly.

On my home turf in Los Angeles, it's easy to get around save for the handrail-less stairs at Dodger Stadium or the Hollywood Bowl.   I'm usually cane-less.

Now two weeks ago, I ventured on a baseball weekend getaway to Seattle with my lifelong buddy Leo.   My hope is that a trip like this is an annual or even a twice a year sojourn.   But, almost upon landing in the Northwest, my mobility went from an eight to a one.  I was attached to my cane as if it was a lifeline.   

Moreover, I felt like I was being a burden to my friend who is a saint just like the aptly-named new Pope.  I felt I was infringing on his time and good nature.  But, at every turn, there seemed to be a new obstacle.  We used Lyft to get around and none of those drivers have vehicles that are easy to get in and out of.  At one point, it was so torturous that I started to cry.

I began to think of all the places I want to go to and may never do.   I have to rely on friends to accompany me and that's not so easy as I likely will spend the rest of my life single and without a mingle.  Oh sure, all my friends say I'm family, but I'm not really.  Meanwhile, I don't want to be a burden to people.  And. more importantly, I don't want to be a burden to myself.

Coming home on the plane, I thought about all of this and came to a realization.  

If this is me moving forward, people will have to deal with it.  I won't allow myself to be compromised by anybody or myself.   I mean, this may be as good as my mobility gets.   

But I look around at my friends and we're all of the same era.   I hope everybody naturally passes on as if we're all light bulbs that simply burn out.  But my guess is that everybody may have some degrees of difficulty moving forward.

As I adopted my new philosophy, I almost immediately read a Facebook story about an old work colleague.  She underwent a simple medical procedure that morphed into an embolism and they lost her twice doing CPR in an ambulance. The good news is that she will be okay ultimately.   And this will be her now moving forward.

I'm going to embrace life and the friends that go with it.  Let's all make the most of this until we all get our turn on the stairway to heaven.

Gee, I hope there are handrails.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese noodles.