Classic Newsreel of the Month - February 2015

Before the Challenger disaster, there were still dead astronauts.

Dinner last night:  Second time in a week---homemade French toast with powdered sugar and strawberry preserves.   Bacon on the side.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for February 2015

Perhaps my favorite theater in Los Angeles has begun its celebration for its 75th anniversary this month.   When there's nothing good playing at the dreary multiplexes around town, I head over to this little gem on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica and go back in time.   To a classic I may never have seen.   Or to view an old favorite that just keeps getting better with age.

It's a holiday weekend and a perfect time to go to the movies.   You know the monthly drill, gang.   I'll sift through the LA Times entertainment pages and give you my gut reaction to the junk out in theaters this weekend.

Hmmmmm.  I wonder what's playing at the Aero.

Black or White:   I'm hoping this is a documentary about the cookie I used to buy in Grand Central Station for the Friday night ride home, but I guess not.

The Boy Next Door:   Jennifer Lopez is terrorized.   Now she knows how it feels since she's been doing the same to us for twenty years.

Wild:  Reviewed here recently.   I was not...well...wild about it.

Whiplash:   One of my two favorite movies of 2014.   See JK Simmons' soon-to-be-Oscar-winning performance.

Two Days, One Night:  Marion Cotillard got a surprise Oscar nomination for this, which means it's not on Jennifer Aniston's Netflix queue.   Ask one of the three people who saw it what they thought.

Into the Woods:  I saw it and forgot to review it.   My bad.   LEN'S RATING:  Three stars.  Done.

The Imitation Game:   Reviewed here recently.   Clever and slick British espionage thriller that takes any even darker turn in the final two reels.   

Paddington:   Only if you can bear it.

Song of the Sea:   Isn't this the name of a tuna fish?

Foxcatcher:  Hated here recently.  The two worst things about the movie, director Bennett Miller and Steve Carell, are what got Oscar-nominated.  And Jennifer Aniston scratches her head again.

Goodbye to Language:   This is essentially what America is saying these days.

Unbroken:   Reviewed here recently.  The title is inaccurate.

Cake:   What Jennifer Aniston wishes more Academy voters had eaten.

Girlhood:   Oh, God, not another twelve-year production/monstrosity.

The Wedding Ringer:   The trailer for this movie was around for so long that I thought this garbage had opened in 2013.

Selma:  Reviewed here recently.  Go onto Wikipedia if you want the accurate story about this civil rights march.

Taken 3:  And Liam Neeson's SAG dues get paid for one more year.

Still Alice:  Julianne Moore will supposedly win Best Actress for this turn about a woman's fight against Ahlzeimer's.   In the film, the character is married to Alec Baldwin.  In reality, she might appreciate the loss of memory.

SpongeBob - Sponge Out of Water:  I doubt it's that absorbing.

Mortdecai:  Johnny Depp's latest attempt at comedy is apparently tragic.

The Theory of Everything:  Spoiler alert - Stephen Hawking just made another cameo appearance on the Big Bang Theory.   

Timbuktu:   Which will be followed b Timbukthree.

An American in Hollywood:   They're increasingly hard to find.

Fifty Shades of Grey:   This apparently was a book or something.   It sounds like my Wallach's wardrobe from the 90s.

The Worst Year of My Life:   Without even knowing the plot, this sounds like a movie to avoid.

Kingsman - The Secret Service:  A street kid becomes an international spy.  I guess those entrance exams have gotten easier.

Da Sweet Blood of Jesus:  You would think the title was scary enough.  How about these four words...."directed by Spike Lee."

The Last Five Years:   A romantic comedy set to music.   It stars Broadway's Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick...oh, Hell, I'm there.

American Sniper:   Reviewed here recently.   One of the most balanced war movies I've ever seen.   Let the discussion begin.

Birdman:  The director won the DGA last week.   I should find the acceptance speech on-line to see if HE EXPLAINS WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS ABOUT.

Love, Rosie:   Well, I know what it's not about.  O'Donnell's happy marriage.

The Loft:  Murderous doings in an apartment.   I'm glad I don't live downstairs.

Jupiter Ascending:  That's because Mrs. Jupiter is so damn cute.

The Voices:  An unbalanced guy in a bathtub factory starts getting dating advice from his talking pets.   I guess that was the elevator pitch.

Strange Magic:  I'll bet you ten dollars the ELO song is played at least twice.

One Small Hitch:   Well, we know it's not about Alfred.

Seventh Son:  What we wound up with if Mrs. Charlie Chan lost her birth control pills.

Project Almanac:  Another time travel yarn.   I say we go back to the time before this movie was greenlit.

A Most Violent Year:   Even less people saw this than the Marion Cotillard movie.

The Rewrite:   This has to be a horror movie.

Citizenfour:   Allegedly this documentary about NSA leaker Edward Snowden will win an Oscar.   Am I the only one who think the title writer forgot to hit the space bar?

Dinner last night:  Stir fry vegetables.

 

Anatomy of a Spam Message

This is Michael Raynor, US Ambassador to the Benin Republic, wherever the hell that is.   He looks like a nice enough guy.  I hope nothing happens to him in the service of our country.

Heck, we're friends apparently.   I just got an e-mail from him.

I don't think he knows that he sent it.   You see, it's just one more bizarr-o message in our spam folders.

We all get them.   Send us your information and we'll tell you how to get the five million dollars left to you by the Nigerian cousin you never knew you had.   There's one of these in my spam folder every single day.   

But this one caught my eye because it was "from" an ambassador.   I was curious to look the dude up and sure enough he does exist.   I would recommend he upgrade his virus protection soon.

So I decided to carve up this message to show you how even the stupidest among us can tell that this is a complete fraud sent by dirtbags overseas.   Let's take a peek, shall we?   I will be commenting in blue.
 
Hello:Beneficiary,  Okay, unless this embassy employs the dumbest office help, you don't open a letter with a colon.

Please i  Mr. Raynor should be embarrassed by the poor grammar his hackers are using want to inform you that your fund was brought to my desk this morning because the SECRETARY OF UNITED NATION United Nations!!! here in Benin Republic I still don't know where the Benin Republic is and I don't want to said that they will divert your compensation fund to the Government Treasury account just because you failed to pay for their fee of your fund which is just $120.00 usd only.  Hey, I pay my bills on time.   Does the embassy have Paypal available?

But i told them to wait until i Lower case I.  Who typed this, e.e. Cummings? hear from you today so that i will know the reason why you rejected such amount When these spam notes don't include the simple use of "an," you know it was written by some shithead of a foreigner of money $1.5m which is a compensation from United Nation and will change your life just because of $120.00 usd   Such a deal!  Send us $120 and make back $1.5 million.   I need to mention this rate of return to my financial guy.

I want your urgent response as soon as you receive this email and explain to
me the reason why you should abandon your fund  I've been busy what with the recent holidays and all or if you don't need it My kingdom for a comma. then we can change your name to another person so that the corrupt Government officials The last three words always seem to go together. of Benin Republic will not claim this money for their selfish interest, Now he uses a comma!   When it should be a period!

However if you are still interested in this funds then you fill your information below and get back to us immediately.

YOUR FULL CONTACT INFORMATION IS NEEDED.

YOUR FULL NAME:------------------------
YOUR PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER:-------------
HOME ADDRESS AND CITY--- -------------
SEX/OCCUPATION:-----------------------
AGE:----------------------------------

I will wait to hear from you now through this Email ( usembass6@Safe-mail.net )


Mr.Michael Raynor.
United States Ambassador to the Republic of Benin
E-MAIL:- usembass6@Safe-mail.net

Dinner last night:  Beef ravioli at Adoteca.

This Date in History - February 11

Happy birthday, Thomas Alva Edison.   We're going to celebrate a lot of birthdays today and you'll soon know why.

660 BC:  JAPAN IS FOUNDED BY EMPEROR JIMMU.

No relation to Shamu.

55:  TIBERIUS CLAUDIUS CAESAR BRITANNICUS, HEIR TO THE ROMAN EMPERORSHIP, DIES UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES IN ROME.  THIS CLEARS THE WAY FOR NERO TO BECOME EMPEROR.

Britannicus?  I prefer Funk and Wagnall.

244:  EMPEROR GORDIAN III IS MURDERED BY MUTINOUS SOLDIERS IN MESOPOTAMIA.

Probably the lesson on one of those many days I slept through World History in the tenth grade.

1531:  HENRY VIII OF ENGLAND IS RECOGNIZED AS SUPREME HEAD OF THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND.

His wives all knew that already.

1659:  THE ASSAULT OF COPENHAGEN BY SWEDISH FORCES IS BEATEN BACK WITH HEAVY LOSSES.

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen.

1790:  THE RELIGIOUS SOCIETY OF FRIENDS, ALSO KNOWN AS QUAKERS, PETITIONS THE US CONGRESS FOR THE ABOLITION OF SLAVERY.

Talk about trendsetters.

1794:  THE FIRST SESSION OF THE US SENATE OPENS TO THE PUBLIC.

Back when people were actually interested in how our government used to work.

1812:  MASSASCHUSETTS GOVERNOR ELBRIDGE GERRY "GERRYMANDERS" FOR THE FIRST TIME.

That's not what we heard from his mistress.

1847:  INVENTOR THOMAS ALVA EDISON IS BORN.

Let there be light.

1858:  BERNADETTE SOUBIROUS' FIRST VISION OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY AT LOURDES.

Yeah, sure, whatever you say.

1861:  THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES UNANIMOUSLY PASSES A RESOLUTION GUARANTEEING NONINTERFERENCE WITH SLAVERY IN ANY STATE.

Obviously, they don't pay attention to the Quakers.

1889:  THE MEIJI CONSTITUTION OF JAPAN IS ADOPTED AND THE FIRST NATIONAL DIET WILL START IN 1890.

I don't eat sushi.

1909:  BOXER MAX BAER IS BORN.

Jethro Senior.

1916:  EMMA GOLDMAN IS ARRESTED FOR LECTURING ON BIRTH CONTROL.  

If you ever saw a picture of Emma, you wouldn't need birth control.

1917:  AUTHOR SIDNEY SHELDON IS BORN.

The Other Side of the Birth Canal.

1919:  FRIEDRICH EBERT IS ELECTED PRESIDENT OF GERMANY.

His vice president was Wolfgang Siskel.

 1919:  ACTRESS EVA GABOR IS BORN.

Meanwhile, sister Zsa Zsa has lasted to the age of 214.

1920:  ACTOR BILLY HALOP IS BORN.

A Dead End Kid.

1921:  POLITICIAN LLOYD BENTSEN IS BORN.

A Dead End Candidate.

1926:   ACTOR LESLIE NIELSEN IS BORN.

And don't call me Shirley or old.

 1934:  ACTRESS TINA LOUISE IS BORN.

How did she manage three seasons on that island without sleeping with the Professor, the Skipper, Thurston Howell, Gilligan, and...hell, even Mary Ann?

1936:  ACTOR BURT REYNOLDS IS BORN.

The first day where he was buck naked for the camera.  There would be others.

1937:  A SIT-DOWN STRIKE ENDS WHEN GENERAL MOTORS RECOGNIZES THE UNITED AUTO WORKERS.

How did they recognize them?  They were the ones sitting down.

1939:  A LOCKHEED P-38 LIGHTNING FLIES FROM CALIFORNIA TO NEW YORK IN 7 HOURS, 2 MINUTES.

And what was the movie?

1941:  MUSICIAN SERGIO MENDES IS BORN.

Brazil '41.

1943:  GENERAL DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER IS SELECTED TO COMMAND THE ALLIED ARMIES IN EUROPE.

First stop Normandy.

1953:  US PRESIDENT DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER REFUSES A CLEMENCY APPEAL FOR JULIUS AND ETHEL ROSENBERG.

What a ten-year ride for Ike.

1963:  AUTHOR SYLVIA PLATH DIES.

Got her wish.

1964:  POLITICIAN SARAH PALIN IS BORN.

Which means that two failed Vice Presidential candidates were born on this day.

1968:  THE MEMPHIS SANITATION STRIKE BEGINS.

This is why Martin Luther King Jr. wound up there on April 4.

1969:  ACTRESS JENNIFER ANISTON IS BORN.

I'll be there for you.

1973:  THE FIRST RELEASE OF AMERICAN PRISONERS OF WAR FROM VIETNAM BEGINS.

So all that picketing wasn't in vain.

1976:  ACTOR LEE J. COBB DIES.

Nice salad.

1978:  CHINA LIFTS A BAN ON WORKS BY ARISTOTLE, WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, AND CHARLES DICKENS.

Which prompts the very first book report assignment in Shanghai.

1982:  ACTRESS ELEANOR POWELL DIES.

So that's the tap dancing I hear above me.

1990:  NELSON MANDELA IS RELEASED FROM A SOUTH AFRICAN PRISON AFTER 27 YEARS.

So how was the food?

1994:  ACTOR WILLIAM CONRAD DIES.

Well, you know it wasn't from malnutrition.

2002: BASEBALL COACH FRANK CROSETTI DIES.

Hold up at third!

2006:  AUTHOR PETER BENCHLEY DIES.

He wrote "The Deep."  Now he is.

2012:  SINGER WHITNEY HOUSTON DIES.

Around the corner from my house and it totally ruined my....well, keep reading.

2013:  POPE BENEDICT XVI BECOMES THE FIRST PONTIFF TO RESIGN IN MORE THAN HALF A MILLENIUM.

To those of you who are confused, Nixon only thought he was a pope.

WHENEVER:  I AM BORN.

I told you it was a special birth date.

Dinner last night:  Leftover roast chicken and vegetables.

Here's The Problem With Movies Based on Recent History

They don't usually work.   For a variety of reasons.   And there are two movies out right now that fall into the same trap. 

They both are opinion pieces that don't do justice to the facts.  

Take, for instance, Angelina Jolie's "Unbroken."   You may know that this film is about Olympic winner Louie Zamperini who was later captured and tortured by the Japanese while serving in the Pacific during World War II.  It's actually based on a best selling book by Laura Hillenbrand who had plenty of access to Zamperini.  The latter just passed away last August.  

Now I didn't read the book so my sole perception of Zamperini's harrowing tale is on the screen as depicted by newbie director Angelina Jolie.  She puts all the grim details up on the screen, so much that Japan itself has filed complaints against her.  Okay, let's not get into a discussion about this.   The Japanese forces were barbarians during this war.  After blowing them to nuclear bits, the United States then turned around and helped to rebuild what they destroyed.

But, I digress....

So, as written, this is an ugly story and we should honor Zamperini's memory for his grit and determination coming through it all alive.   But, as filmed, it seems like Jolie went overboard.  Perhaps in her efforts to impress us all with her directorial skills, she needed to embellish.  Lots of phony film contrivances are employed as she refuses to let the story simply play out on its own.  Indeed, "Unbroken" would have worked all by itself if the director had simply worked under the guideline that less is more.

In a lot of respects, I would have preferred to have seen "Unbroken" filmed as a documentary.   We could have heard Zamperini's own words tell the story without the fuss and feathers of another bloated Hollywood director straining for an Oscar nomination.  The heavy-handedness utilized by Angelina Jolie actually diminishes the power of the story.  And, as a result, "Unbroken" emerges as just more Tinseltown saga of gratuitous violence.

And, from the South Pacific, we move to Alabama in 1965.  And more history that goes through the meat grinder of an over zealous film director.

Much has already been written about "Selma."  There's a major controversy that the movie was snubbed by Oscar nominators due to racist charges.  Puh-leze!  If the Academy was so prejudiced and biased, how the hell do they reconcile Oscars just one year ago to "12 Years A Slave."   And recent honors to the likes of Halle Berry, Morgan Freeman, Octavia Spencer, Denzel Washington, and Monique.  Hello?   

From what I have heard, the shortage of Oscar attention for "Selma" is more due to snafus at the Paramount marketing department than anything else.   It was a late Christmas season release.   Screeners were late being sent to Academy members.   

And, most importantly, there was some extensive fact checking on the validity of the real story that likely worked to the film's disadvantage.  

The latter is the biggest problem I had with "Selma."   There's a laundry list of time line inconsistencies and liberties taken with the Martin Luther King Jr.- Selma march that happened only fifty years ago.  Most notably, the on-screen depiction of President Lyndon Johnson has been reported by well known historians as being incredibly inaccurate.   But, the filmmakers needed to designate villains to fit a movie narrative and LBJ was the obvious choice for this cheap cinematic device.

The director of "Selma" is Ava DuVernay and she has been unapologetic about what is up on the screen. She has publicly said that she's not a historian or a documentarian so it was okay for her to take some liberties.

The only problem with that is audiences seeing "Selma" don't know that.   They take everything that's thrown up on the screen as gospel.   And that's sad.   At the screening I attended, there was a middle school class on a field trip.   They won't know what's real and what's Memorex.  And their teacher probably doesn't know either.

As a result, we have another movie about recent history that is totally clouded by the prejudiced viewpoint or agenda of a director.  I mean, as a movie, "Selma" is pretty much what I expected.  There are grand liberties taken with logic.  For instance, to get producer Oprah Winfrey's mug up on screen as much as possible, her character becomes an extension of Forrest Gump.   She plays a practical nurse who is denied the right to vote.   But, even though she has a job and works hard, she has plenty of time to attend rallies and marches.  She can't participate in elections, but she sure must have four weeks of vacation time.

Of course, the audience probably thinks she really exists, too.   And, one more time, I come away from the theater wishing that "Selma" had been filmed as a documentary instead.  Just as I did when I left the "Unbroken" screening.

History is a wonderful thing.  It works so beautifully in books and documentaries.   And that's primarily where it should stay for the sake of all those of us who want to make up our own minds on just what happened.

LEN'S RATING FOR UNBROKEN:  Two-and-a-half stars.

LEN'S RATING FOR SELMA:  Two stars.

Dinner last night:  French dip panini with roast beef and provolone.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - February 9, 2015

Monkey business.

Dinner last night:  Garlic-infused roast chicken with baby red potatoes, carrots, and salad.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Sick Days

For the first time since freshman year in college, I recently got the flu.  It came out of nowhere like an anatomical mugging.  First, some stabbing chest pains.   Then, general soreness in my back.   As I sat at my office, I could feel the spring and coil of my being winding down ever so slowly.   I knew something wasn't right.  Luckily, I have a general internist who takes me on a moment's notice.

The nurse took my blood pressure.   It was low as usual.   A gene I inherited from the maternal side of my parents.   Thanks, Mom.

She took my temperature and said "wow."   I don't think you want to hear "wow" after a thermometer has been in your ear.

"You have a temperature of 102.8."

I replied that's not a temperature, it's an FM rock station.

My doctor diagnosed me with the flu and the joke we have had every year with my annual physical was whether I should get a flu shot.   I never do, because I just know that, if I did, I would finally get the flu.

So, Doc, it's too late to get the flu shot this year?

The actual flu made its grand entrance the very next day.   With chills and teeth chattering like Buckwheat in a haunted house.   I shook so much that I must have looked like Katharine Hepburn.   I covered myself with one of a dozen Dodger fleece blankets I own and laid down on my bed.

It was 1PM.   The next conscious moment I had was at 5:30PM.

I don't suffer inactivity well.  I made the most of my down time with some work-related projects.   I even took a conference call.   But, all throughout, there was a general sluggishness.

I thought back to the last time I had the flu.   It was New Year's Eve in freshman year at Fordham.   That, too, came out of the blue.  And I remembered being out of circulation for a while.  And hated it, too.

Because, let's face it, being sick was only "fun" when you were a kid.   You had parents waiting on you hand and foot.   And, of course, you were missing a spelling test or a math quiz.  Sweet.  Illness then had its perks. 

It always started the same way. A scene that was repeated countless times on multiple mornings. I'd wake up feeling shitty. And I would subject myself to my mother's careful examination.

Hand on the forehead. Hot or cold?

A peer down the throat. Red or scratchy?

Two hands feeling both sides of my neck. Glands swollen?

If I scored two of the three, I was home free. Literally. I could stay home from school. And, as an added bonus, I was ordered to get out of bed and move to the living room couch.

In front of the television, as you see me above.

Yes!

First, I'd have to choke down a bowl of some H-O oatmeal, the "official breakfast of being home sick from school." Then, I'd flip on the TV and settle back for a day of some really tough recuperation.

In those days, daytime television was more fun. You had a bunch of game shows and sitcom reruns that I had never seen first run. All stuff I never got to watch at any other time. 

And the fun started early. Er, cough, cough. There were odd cartoons on in the pre-breakfast hours. It was almost like the minor leagues of animation. They weren't good enough to make my prime cartoon time, which was after school. I remember Channel 7 in NY ran silent cartoons with this farmer and all these crudely drawn animals early in the day. Goofy stuff. Purchased off the back of the movie truck at a discount no doubt.

After that, a-choo, a-choo, there was the Little Rascals AKA Our Gang. They were my absolute favorite comedy shorts. I disconnected a bit on Spanky and Alfalfa, but the earlier ones with the likes of Farina, Jackie Cooper, and Wheezer were brilliant. I still watch them via DVD to this day. Forget all the allegations over how racist they were. This was a group of kids playing together, regardless of skin color or nationality. Just like my neighborhood. And I always enjoyed the great product placement for such wonderful household staples as castor oil, limburger cheese, and tabasco sauce. At the time, I had no idea what any of them were.


Around 9AM, my mother would pop in for another follow-up examination. 

Hand on the forehead. A peer down the throat. Two hands feeling both sides of my neck. This was a key moment in my day. If two of the three were still persisting after the amazingly curative powers of H-O Oatmeal had been administered, I was sunk. And probably really sick. This could mean only one thing. My mother would head to the telephone. And I would hear three very scary words.

"Hello, Dr. Fiegoli?"

Yep, these were the days when a kid's doctor made house calls. The key to getting him was to call before 10AM before he started off on his rounds. My mother never seemed to miss the deadline. Dr. Fiegoli was a frequent visitor to our house. At the very least, I'd have a few more hours of TV nirvana until he showed.

In the mornings of my stay-at-home maladies, I still exercised the same brain power I would have used at school. By watching game shows.

There was "Concentration."

"Number four. And number nineteen." Sorry, not a match.

"Say When." And I remember little of that game except that it was hosted by Art James.

"Eye Guess." Hosted by Bill Cullen, who I never could understand why you didn't see him walking around on the stage. Years later, I discovered the reason. He had polio.

"The Hollywood Squares" with my favorite comedian Paul Lynde. "Abby Dalton, you're today's Secret Square."

Mixed in with all the game shows were the wonderful sitcoms from the 50s. Of course, "I Love Lucy." But, there were other programs that I had only heard tales about from my grandmother and grandfather.

"December Bride." With one of my grandmother's favorites, Spring Byington. And this had a spin-off show that was also repeated during the day. "Pete And Gladys."

"My Little Margie." With Gale Storm and some old hag named Mrs. Odetts living next door and a Black elevator operator played by Willie Best.

"The Burns and Allen Show." George, Gracie, Harry Von Zell, and that magic TV mirror which allowed George to control the action. Perhaps the most ingenious gimmick ever featured on a television situation comedy.

Depending upon my illness, lunch would be usually a can of Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup. Just add water. No fuss, no muss. If my throat wasn't a problem, a sandwich was in order. Usually bologna or my beloved Taylor Ham. On the side, six green olives stuffed with pimentoes. Not five, not seven, not four. Six exactly. This was my usual midday repast in both sickness and in health. Having consumed the meal, I'd lay back down and settle in for some more great television. Except...

DING DONG!!!!!!!!

Our front door bell was always more ominous if I was home sick.

The dog barked wildly. My mother would bound down the stairs to open the door.

"Hello, Dr. Fiegoli!"

Crap.

Now, my pediatrician was a really nice man. But he couldn't help but be scary to a seven-year-old. He'd charge up the stairs like a bull out of a chute. Plus he looked just like that actor who was showing up on all those sitcoms I had just been enjoying. Frank Nelson. Very unsettling as my two worlds were suddenly mixing in a bizarre way. And his booming voice could be heard from Mount Vernon to New Rochelle.

"OOOOOOH AND HOW'S THE PATIENT?"

Gee, Doc, isn't that what you're supposed to figure out? Well, that's probably what Mrs. Odetts might have said.

Dr. Fiegoli then administered the same exam that my mother had already done twice. Hand on the forehead. A peer down the throat. Two hands on both sides of the neck. Hello, do you get paid to do this?

The bad news is that most of the time Dr. Fiegoli showed up, I really was sick. Chicken Pox. Measles, both German and regular. Ear infection. Gland infection. He'd spend five minutes with me, fifteen minutes with my mother, and two seconds dashing off a prescription, which would get immediately filled at Mr. Post's drugstore.

It seemed like Dr. Fiegoli would never leave, but he always did. I'd turn back to the TV, but...

"No television now. You really are sick."

Damn.

I'd feign a nap for several hours in the afternoon. By then, daytime TV was full of soap operas which were captivating Grandma downstairs but boring the shit out of me upstairs. Eventually, I would inch my way back to the television controls. Because, when it was three o'clock, it was time for...

Popeye the Sailor. My favorite cartoon character of all time.

WPIX Channel 11 ran these in the afternoon, usually hosted by Captain Jack McCarthy, who was not really a captain but definitely Irish. They used to throw in as the host every year when they ran the St. Patrick's Day parade. I much preferred the Popeye cartoons from the 1930s. He was talking under his breath all the time and you had to listen closely to hear the best lines. The later ones from the 1950s were terrible. My rule of thumb: if Olive Oyl's hairdo is more modern, the cartoon sucks.

"IS THAT TELEVISION BACK ON?!!!"

Last week, with the latest edition of me being "really sick."   There was nobody yelling at me to turn off the television.   That's because I hardly had the strength to even turn it on.

Dinner last night:   Breakfast for dinner.  Cinnamon French toast with strawberry preserves and bacon.