Morons of the Month - October 2010

The state of California is going to Hell. 

Unemployment is rampant.  State employees worry about being paid.  The state will default on all its loans.

There is a day in the near future where California will be completely bankrupt.

And the choice to be the new Governor of the state?

The two morons of October 2010.  Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown.  A choice of which of your fingers you would like to stick into an electric fan.

This election is complete validation of my father's view on politics.

"They all stink."

Dad is right again.

Let's take a look at these two losers. 

Meg Whitman started e-Bay and that's nothing to be proud of.  Unless, of course, you're one of those dumbbells who regularly puts in a bid to buy an autographed photo of Elizabeth Ashley.  Essentially, she created an on-line garage sale where one man's trash belongs in another man's dumpster. 

Meanwhile, she made oodles and oodles and oodles of dough.  The perfect qualification to be the Governor of California, a state without oodles and oodles and oodles of dough.  Her only saving grace is that she might try to auction off LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa.  Swapping him for a three-legged donkey is still a steal for us.

Of course, incompetence aside, Meg's personal life has been revealed to be an eyesore.  You're all familiar with Housekeeper-gate.  Or maybe it's I Fired An Illegal Alien-Gate.    Well, what the hell can she do with the state if she can't hire a cleaning woman without any drama?

I think back to a conversation I had with my accountant a few years back.  He was working on my income tax.  On the worksheet, I highlighted what I paid my housekeeper Maria in the previous year.  Per Maria's request, I pay her in cash.  I don't ask questions, but, as long as she remembers to dust the blinds once a month, I don't really care.  But, my accountant flags it.

"You know you probably should be reporting that."

Yeah, I know.  But who does?  And what's the consequence if I don't?

"Well, it's only a problem if you ever decide to run for public office."

Uh-huh.  Meg, you need to see my accountant. 

Not that the choice on the other side of the ballot is any better.  Jerry Brown, 72 going on 92.  A decrepit politician who has historically failed at every single job he has ever had.  Despite the fact that he keeps getting new ones.  One of the last posts he had was Mayor of Oakland.  Where, on Brown's watch, taxes tripled and crime quadrupled.

Unless you're one of my mentally blind ultra-liberal friends, that's not exactly a deal closer when you're looking for new employment.  If Jerry would try to list his accomplishments in life, his resume would feature one single sentence.

"FUCKED LINDA RONSTADT."

As much as she was a fox, that doesn't make this asshole electable.

During the campaign, he was caught in an impromptu moment calling Whitman a whore.  Then he denies that's his voice on the tape.  Well, it's not Fred Travalena because I know he's dead.  A mud fight ensues and the only people really stuck in a mire are the citizens of California.

Watching the debates between these two knuckleheads, I'm reminded of the epic battles between Fred Sanford and Aunt Esther.  Except they were funnier.  I'd try to vote for either one of them, but, like Fred Travalena, they're dead, too.

So is my father.  But, looking at the two morons running for Governor, his words are alive again.  And I can hear his next question.

"What the hell did you move there for?"

Dinner last night:  Roast chicken, cornbread stuffing, and broccoli rabe at Union Bar & Grill in the south end of Boston.