This Day in HIstory - October 13

 No fiddling around today, Nero.

54:  NERO ASCENDS TO THE ROMAN THRONE.

Because....

54:  ROMAN EMPEROR CLAUDIUS DIES.

I, Dead.

1362:  THE CHANCELLOR OF ENGLAND FOR THE FIRST TIME OPENED PARLIAMENT WITH A SPEECH IN ENGLISH.

Or was it a pack of Parliament he opened? 

1582:  BECAUSE OF THE IMPLEMENTATION OF THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR, THIS DAY DOES NOT EXIST IN ITALY, POLAND, PORTUGAL, AND SPAIN.

Didn't we report this last week?  What's with these people?  How fast do they want a year to go by?

1773:  THE WHIRLPOOL GALAXY IS DISCOVERED BY CHARLES MESSIER.

I'm not sure, but I don't think this is the same guy who played for the New York Rangers.

1792:  IN WASHINGTON DC, THE CORNERSTONE OF THE UNITED STATES EXECUTIVE MANSION (LATER KNOWN AS THE WHITE HOUSE) IS LAID.

And, right after that, the cornerstone had a cigarette.

1843:  IN NEW YORK CITY, HENRY JONES AND 11 OTHERS FOUND B'NAI B'RITH.

Jones?  Okay, that's a name change.

1845:  A MAJORITY OF VOTERS IN THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS APPROVE A PROPOSED CONSTITUTION, THAT IF ACCEPTED BY THE US CONGRESS, WILL MAKE TEXAS A STATE.

Uh-huh.  And now they're trying to figure out how to become their own country.

1884:  GREENWICH, IN LONDON, ENGLAND, IS ESTABLISHED AS UNIVERSAL TIME.

And Fossil watches all over the world applaud in unison.

1917:  GEORGE OSMOND, PATRIARCH OF THE SINGING FAMILY, IS BORN.

You'll have to wait for the joke...

1917:  PUPPETEER BURR TILLSTROM IS BORN.

Oddly enough, Kukla was born two years earlier.

1943:  DURING WORLD WAR II, THE NEW GOVERNMENT OF ITALY SIDES WITH THE ALLIES AND DECLARES WAR ON GERMANY.

What took you so long? 

1959:  MARIE OSMOND IS BORN.

Same birthday as her papa.  Gee, those Mormons are a crafty lot.

1968:  ACTRESS BEA BENADERET DIES.

No more is she riding the little train that is coming down the track to the junction.

1974:  ED SULLIVAN DIES.

And, surprisingly, Topo Gigio survived for another five years.

1983:  AT & T (THEN AMERITECH) LAUNCHED THE FIRST US CELLULAR NETWORK IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.

I hope they're not expecting a thank you.

Dinner last night:  German salami sandwich and salad.