The Happiest Valley on Earth

Well, everybody else has weighed in on this.  Why not me, too?

You would have had to be in a gated community on Saturn not to hear about the child sex scandal going on at State College, Pennsylvania, affectionately known as "Happy Valley."  And you thought the reason all those people had smiles on their faces was because of the wonderful, homespun nature of an adoring college community. 

Nope, at least, one of those folks was grinning because he was getting his rocks off on a ten-year-old boy.  No, wait, make that two ten-year-old boys.  No, wait, make that eight ten-year-old boys.  Yep, assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky used some bad judgment.  Many, many times.  All of a sudden, Penn State doesn't have a football program.  They have an old SNL sketch with Alec Baldwin and Adam Sandler on a boy scout sleepover.

As the news shook down about this scandal which started way back when Bill Clinton was soiling dresses with semen, the handwringing from the media began in earnest.  And rightfully so.  You would think that a shower stall in Valley that is Happy would be a safe haven for some unsuspecting kid.  And, apparently, everybody but Condoleeza Rice knew what was happening out there.  Several other coaches saw the actions.  A couple of janitors got to mop it up. 

And, in the worst possible scenario, Head Coach and Moses' trusted colleague, Joe Paterno, was aware as well.

This might have been a valued educational institution.  Yet, no one apparently enrolled in the course "How to Dial 9-1-1."  All those math majors and nobody can remember three digits?

In the revered coach's defense, he probably should have been put out to pasture years ago.  I look at him now and realize he was still coaching a Big Ten college football franchise.  Indeed, he was undoubtedly being covered completely by his coaching associates, very similar to Ronald Reagan's second term as President when Nancy Reagan and Merv Griffin were essentially running the country.

Regardless of the "he said, he didn't say" game, prices will be paid and, given inflation from a gaggle of attorneys, the costs will be high.  Sandusky is a society cliche.  An old white child predator headed for prison where, once the other inmates get a load of him, Jerry will discover it's nothing like a college football game.  There will never be any coin flips and he will always be "receiving."

Joe Paterno, or "Joe Pa" as students love to call him, is also in hot water.  Forced to retire and, let's face it, at his advanced age of 127, he could have just retired gracefully for a second time.  Now, over 400 wins as a college football coach, it's all completely dirty now simply because he apparently didn't have his hearing aid turned all the way up.  It's frightening and amazing how quickly his legacy could change. 

Indeed, the whole place now looks tainted.  When someone mentions Penn State, how many people will instantly say "oh, yeah the child molesting place?"  And, yes, that's a downgrade from being known as the booziest university in the nation, which has been another longtime PSU honor.  When Paterno was fired, students rioted and overturned a news van.  Could it be they were that upset about his termination?  Or maybe the price of beer went up a quarter in the local town tavern?

While I watch this brouhaha from afar, this scandal impacts some of my friends dearly.  One good friend, a graduate, has been going to PSU games every weekend for decades.  Another good friend currently has her son enrolled there.  When I did my "Dodger Talk" stint in the press box last summer, I met one of the MLB.com interns who was a recent graduate.  My first personal trainer left PSU with a degree that allows him to be, well, a personal trainer.  Heck, my college best friend works there in a lofty position.

That said, I hear the wonderful idyllic stories from all of them.  I suddenly crave a true and exciting college experience.  I look back at my own alma mater, Fordham University, where there were never 100,000 people at their football games.  Well, there were...if you knock off the last three zeros.  I listen to the glory that is Penn State and I suddenly feel ashamed in comparison.  Now, I'm simply happy that Fordham apparently has done the right thing.  The Jesuits there kept the sex scandals out of the boys' shower and hid them behind the altar where they belong.

All of my PSU chums have been urging me to go out for a football weekend.  I don't know what I have been missing.  It is pure heaven.  They promise me an experience like none other.  Now, I have to ask if I can keep my underwear on during it.

Nope, I now answer their invitations with a line often used by my grandmother.

"I'll stay home."

Despite all this snarkiness, I really do feel their pain and sense of loss over something that was apparently very, very special.  In a way, they have lost a part of their life that was very sacred.

Looking around our worlds, the PSU scandal simply joins an ever growing club. 

Nothing, no matter how perfect, stays that way forever.

Dinner last night:  Back in LA for a pepperoni pizza from Maria's Italian Kitchen.