Well, forty-eight years later, there are easier ways to get into a movie theater. But, only if you can actually find something worthwhile seeing. Lucky for you there's this monthly movie guide from yours truly. I do the heavy lifting as I sift through the entertainment pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my knee-jerk reactions to the junk Hollywood is offering these days.
If only Oswald had read this blog back in the day...
Jack and Jill: Went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down. Good. I hope it killed him, Jill, and anybody who greenlit this mess. Adam Sandler continues to move toward Jerry Lewis status. What dreadful disease is he going to adopt for his cause?
The Immortals: Strictly for anybody under 25. That's age and IQ.
Martha Marcy May Marlene: Either a drama about some chick with multiple personalities or a documentary on the Lennon Sisters.
Anonymous: A story that provides a "what if Shakespeare's work was ghost written." What if I don't care?
The Ides of March: A decent enough drama which dares to show that, yes, even Democrats can be corrupt. Good performances all around. See it with somebody who has opposite political views. It will make for good conversating afterward over coffee and a slice of cherry pie.
Tower Heist: Lots of comic star power that apparently fizzles out like that firecracker you left out in the rain. This and an upcoming Oscar host stint was going to revive Eddie Murphy's career. Oh, well, so much for that.
J. Edgar: Naturally on my list and Clint Eastwood never really makes crap. I am dying to see who designed Mr. Hoover's gowns.
Margin Call: Reviewed here two weeks ago. Please pay attention. A pretty good send-up of the 2008 financial meltdown. You don't need a Masters in Economics to understand it.
The Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn - Part 1: I haven't cared yet, so I doubt I will now as this series zips through about two dozen films to its inevitable conclusion. A better title? An American Warewolf on a Fifth Grade Reading Level.
The Descendants: George Clooney continues his phenomenal star path as a father of two who re-examines his life after his wife is hurt in a boating accident. There is major Oscar buzz around this Alexander Payne film. Clooney is quickly surpassing Tom Hanks as America's top film actor. To me, there was never any contest.
Happy Feet Two: Cartoon penguins cavorting. Years ago, MGM would have produced this with live action and it would have starred Bobby Van.
Another Happy Day: A wedding party weekend brings family tensions to the surface. In my family, you didn't need a wedding to get it going. Fights would erupt simply because somebody asked you to pass the sweet potatoes.
Dog Sweat: Six young Iranians act out their desires in private. Just as long as none of their dreams involve explosive devices.
Elite Squad - The Enemy Within: After a prison riot, Captain Nascimiento, now a high ranking security officer in Rio de Janeiro, is swept into a bloody political dispute that involves government officials and paramilitary groups. Umm, not interested. Especially when I can see the same damn thing on the local news.
Melancholia: Two sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide into the Earth. Lars Van Trier directs and that's always a good reason to stay the hell away. Kirstin Dunst stars and Kiefer Sutherland is also in the cast. He made this junk and I'm still waiting for the big screen version of "24?" Hello, Kiefer, what's the deal?
Like Crazy: A British college student falls for an American student, only to be separated from him when she's banned from the U.S. after overstaying her visa. Fluffing my pillow already.
Paranormal Activity 3: I saw the first one and hated it. No matter how many more incarnations they come up, I am officially done.
Real Steel: Hugh Jackman in some dreck about robot boxing. When that sport is entered into the Olympics, I'll pay attention.
Puss In Boots: I can feel an allergic reaction to cats coming on. Achoo!
Into the Abyss: Conversations with death row inmate Michael Perry and those affected by his crime serve as an examination of why people - and the state - kill. A documentary from Werner Herzog, so it should be compelling if you're really, really in a shitty mood.
In Time: Justin Timberlake in some sci-fi crap about a society where people stop aging at 25. Me? I stopped counting at 32.
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas: You don't need the glasses to know what's up on the screen. Absolutely nothing!
The Heir Apparent - Largo Winch: Whoever the hell he is? After a powerful billionaire is murdered, his secret adoptive son must race to prove his legitimacy, find his father's killers, and stop them from taking over his financial empire. I guess I'm lucky that my father never made more than $40,000 in any given year.
Laredoans Speak - Voices on Immigration: A documentary examining undocumented immigration in Texas. Forget the Laredoans. Len Speaks on this all the freakin' time. Build the fence!
Tyrannosaur: A violent alcoholic begins an unlikely friendship with a thrift-store worker who harbors dark secrets. From that title, I can only imagine that one of those dark secrets is that she is keeping a killer dinosaur in her basement.
Dinner last night: Chicken, rice, and vegetable medley.
2 comments:
Another weekend struggle to find something/anything worth leaving home to see. Help us, Egyptian/Aero.
I plan to see a screening of "The Descendants" Monday night. "Margin Call" and "Ides of March" on my list, and I still haven't seen "Moneyball." I just don't get out much anymore ...
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