1700: AT THE BATTLE OF NARVA, A SWEDISH ARMY OF 8,500 MEN UNDER CHARLES XII DEFEATS A MUCH LARGER RUSSIAN ARMY.
This was Sweden. So how many of those 8,500 men actually started out as men?
1718: SWEDISH KING CHARLES XII DIES DURING A SIEGE OF THE FORTRESS FREDRIKSTEN IN NORWAY.
I hope this Sweden thing isn't a trend for November 30.
1783: A 5.3 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE STRIKES NEW JERSEY.
If we had another one 228 years later, we could wipe out that Snooki bitch.
1786: PETER LEOPOLD JOSEPHY OF HABSBURG-LORRAINE, GRAND DUKE OF TUSCANY, PROMULGATES A PENAL REFORM MAKING HIS COUNTRY THE FIRST STATE TO ABOLISH THE DEATH PENALTY. CONSEQUENTLY, NOVEMBER 30 IS COMMEMORATED BY 300 CITIES AROUND THE WORLD AS CITIES FOR LIFE DAY.
That's a long way to say..."what a stupid decision!"
1803: IN NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, SPANISH REPRESENTATIVES OFFICIALLY TRANSFER THE LOUISIANA TERRITORY TO A FRENCH REPRESENTATIVE. JUST 20 DAYS LATER, FRANCE TRANSFERS THE SAME LAND TO THE UNITED STATES AS THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE.
Plus a ghetto to be named later.
1824: FIRST GROUND IS BROKEN AT ALLENBURG FOR THE BUILDING OF THE ORIGINAL WELLAND CANAL.
And this is interesting why?
1829: FIRST WELLAND CANAL OPENS FOR A TRIAL RUN, FIVE YEARS TO THE DAY FROM THE GROUND BREAKING.
I'm really starting to lose interest in November 30.
1835: WRITER MARK TWAIN IS BORN.
And so is, in a way, the Mississippi River.
1868: THE INAUGURATION OF A STATUE OF KING CHARLES XII OF SWEDEN TAKES PLACE IN STOCKHOLM.
I hope they weren't waiting for the statue to deliver an inaugural address.
1874: SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL IS BORN.
His father later flashed V for "Vasectomy."
1886: THE FOLIES BERGERE STAGES ITS FIRST REVUE.
Okay, now this November 30 is starting to perk up.
1900: WRITER OSCAR WILDE DIES.
Finally tamed.
1918: ACTOR EFREM ZIMBALIST JR. IS BORN.
77 Sunset Strip, snap, snap.
1920: ACTRESS VIRGINIA MAYO IS BORN.
Hold the...
1924: COMEDIAN ALLAN SHERMAN IS BORN.
Hello muddah, hello faddah...
1929: TV PERSONALITY DICK CLARK IS BORN.
Efrem Zimbalist Jr., Virginia Mayo, Dick Clark....um, people born on November 30.
1934: THE STEAM LOCOMOTIVE "FLYING SCOTSMAN" BECOMES THE FIRST TO OFFICIALLY EXCEED 100 MPH.
Amtrak, please note.
1936: ACTIVIST ABBIE HOFFMAN IS BORN.
That should read "activist/creep."
1940: LUCILLE BALL MARRIES DESI ARNAZ IN GREENWICH, CONNECTICUT.
Which was later used as a plot on "I Love Lucy" and the Ricardos married in the exact same place.
1954: IN SYLACAUGA, ALABAMA, THE HODGES METEORITE CRASHES THROUGH A ROOF AND HITS A WOMAN TAKING AN AFTERNOON NAP IN THE ONLY DOCUMENTED CASE OF A HUMAN BEING BEING HIT BY A ROCK FROM SPACE.
Well, for the sake of today's blog, I'm glad the woman wasn't living in Sweden at the time.
1965: ACTOR BEN STILLER IS BORN.
His parents were ten times more talented.
1966: BARBADOS BECOMES INDEPENDENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.
The dullness that is November 30 continues unabated.
1971: IRAN SEIZES THE GREATER AND LESSER TUNBS FROM THE UNITED EMIRATES.
Seeking the correct pronunciation please of the word "tunbs."
1979: COMIC ZEPPO MARX DIES.
He was forgotten in life, but I remember you in death.
1982: MICHAEL JACKSON'S "THRILLER," THE BEST SELLING ALBUM OF ALL TIME, IS RELEASED.
The music lives on. His bony ass, however, does not.
1993: PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON SIGNS THE BRADY HANDGUN VIOLENCE PREVENTION ACT INTO LAW.
Because it was important that we stop a firearm from being in the hands of Ann B. Davis.
1995: OFFICIAL END OF OPERATION DESERT STORM.
T-shirts available at the gift shop.
1996: SINGER TINY TIM DIES.
I wonder if his grave has tulips.
2003: OLYMPIC SWIMMER GERTRUDE EDERLE DIES.
It's tough to do a flip turn in a grave.
2004: LONGTIME JEOPARDY CHAMPION KEN JENNINGS FINALLY LOSES, LEAVING HIM WITH OVER 2.5 MILLION DOLLARS, TELEVISION'S BIGGEST GAME SHOW WINNINGS.
No need to give him that Rice-A-Roni and a home version of the game.
2007: DAREDEVIL EVEL KNIEVEL DIES.
Nobody survives that very last jump.
2013: ACTOR PAUL WALKER DIES IN A CAR CRASH.
Not so fast and furious.
Dinner last night: Chopped kale salad.
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