1065: WESTMINSTER ABBEY IS CONSECRATED.
When did they do the same for Winchester Cathedral?
1612: GALILEO GALILEI BECOMES THE FIRST ASTRONOMER TO OBSERVE THE PLANET NEPTUNE, ALTHOUGH HE MISTAKENLY CATALOGUED IT AS A FIXED STAR.
A common mistake I make all the time.
1795: CONSTRUCTION OF YONGE STREET, FORMERLY RECOGNIZED AS THE LONGEST STREET IN THE WORLD, BEGINS IN YORK, CANADA.
Galileo mistakenly thought it was an avenue.
1832: JOHN C. CALHOUN BECOMES THE FIRST VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES TO RESIGN.
And you all thought it was Spiro Agnew.
1836: SPAIN RECOGNIZES THE INDEPENDENCE OF MEXICO.
Funny because I don't.
1846: IOWA IS ADMITTED AT THE 29TH US STATE.
If we hadn't, where would we be holding those caucuses?
1856: 28TH PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON IS BORN.
The only President to have a stroke in office. At least the only one they told us about.
1867: THE UNITED STATES CLAIMS MIDWAY ATOLL, THE FIRST TERRITORY ANNEXED OUTSIDE CONTINENTAL LIMITS.
No wonder why they defended it so much during World War II.
1895: THE LUMIERE BROTHERS PERFORM FOR THEIR FIRST PAYING AT THE GRAND CAFE, MARKING THE DEBUT OF THE CINEMA.
And who was the very first movie patron to stick gum on the bottom of a seat?
1895: WILHELM RONTGEN PUBLISHES A PAPER DETAILING HIS DISCOVERY OF A NEW TYPE OF RADIATION, WHICH LATER WILL BE KNOWN AS X-RAYS.
Before x-rays, physicians would simply guess...
1905: ACTOR CLIFF ARQUETTE IS BORN.
This is Charlie Weaver. Pay attention, gang.
1912: THE FIRST STREETCARS TAKE TO THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO.
Invented because they needed a place to put all the Rice-A-Roni advertisements.
1915: POPS STAPLES, DAD OF THE STAPLES SINGERS, IS BORN.
And the man was never in need of paper clips.
1934: ACTRESS MAGGIE SMITH IS BORN.
There is nothing like this Dame...
1944: MAURICE "ROCKET" RICHARD BECOMES THE FIRST PLAYER TO SCORE EIGHT POINTS IN ONE NHL HOCKEY GAME.
Ironically, he was nicknamed "Rocket" by his wife.
1945: THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZES THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.
Unless, of course, if you 're in a public school the last ten years.
1954: GAYLE KING IS BORN.
I couldn't find a good adjective to add to her name. Actress? Personality? TV Host? She's really nothing. Oh, wait, how about "Oprah Bedmate?"
1954: ACTOR DENZEL WASHINGTON IS BORN.
I've got a good adjective for him. Professional Shithead.
1958: IN THE GREATEST FOOTBALL GAME EVER PLAYED, THE BALTIMORE COLTS DEFEAT THE NEW YORK GIANTS IN THE FIRST NFL SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME GAME.
Eleven years later, the Jets will avenge the Giants' loss for all of New York.
1971: FILM COMPOSER MAX STEINER DIES.
Now, Corpse.
1973: THE ENDANGERED SPECIES ACT IS PASSED IN THE UNITED STATES.
If they had done this two years before, this would have included Max Steiner.
1983: ACTOR WILLIAM DEMAREST DIES.
Uncle Charlie!!!!
1983: GOLFER JIMMY DEMERET DIES.
How weird is that to happen on the same day? Two names that were probably confused all the time.
1983: BEACH BOY DENNIS WILSON DIES.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.
1984: DIRECTOR SAM PECKINPAH DIES.
Riding off into the sunset.
1992: BASEBALL PITCHER SAL MAGLIE DIES.
The Barber shaves his last customer.
1999: ACTOR CLAYTON MOORE DIES.
Instant poll: The Lone Ranger was buried with or without the mask?
2000: RETAIL GIANT MONTGOMERY WARD GOES OUT OF BUSINESS.
So much for those Christmas returns in 2000.
2004: ACTOR JERRY ORBACH DIES.
Law and Order: Special Funeral Unit.
Dinner last night: Stuffed beef tenderloin at the home of good friends Amir and Kevin.
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