38 Minutes

That's how long I lasted in the theater before I picked up my stuff and left "Song To Song."   This is a movie that goes down in Len history as the very, very first film that I have ever walked out of.   

Think about it.   I go to the movies a lot.   I've seen tons of them in my life.   For this to be the very first that drove me to the exit early, this has to be pretty monumentally bad.   Especially when you consider ticket prices of $17 and up these days.

But, indeed, "Song To Song" was disastrous to epic, 9/11 proportions.   I mean, I innocently considered it because I wanted to have a nice Saturday night out.  I look at the logline and see it's about the Austin, Texas music scene and several romantic entanglements amongst its characters.   You look at the cast and you are intrigued.  Michael Fassbender.   Ryan Gosling.   Natalie Portman.  Rooney Mara.   Cate Blanchett and Holly Hunter in support.   Easy to buy in.

But I should have paid attention to the fact that the director was legendary blowhard Terrence Malick who photographs landscapes and calls them movies. To say that "Song To Song" had no plot would be an exaggeration.   There was very little dialogue as his characters simply spun out fields or puddles or apartment drapes.   

Surprise, surprise...there were four other people who left before we did.   Had we acted sooner, we could have crawled into Kong:Skull Island next door.   Too late.

As I write about this complete waste of an evening and money, I am getting even more incensed.   The less said about "Song To Song," the better.

LEN'S RATING:  Is it possible to grade a movie with less than zero stars?

Dinner last night:  Leftover franks and beans.