1294: SAINT CELESTINE V RESIGNS THE PAPACY AFTER ONLY FIVE MONTHS TO RETURN TO HIS PREVIOUS LIFE AS A HERMIT.
Not everybody likes all the papal bling.
1577: SIR FRANCIS DRAKE SETS SAIL FROM PLYMOUTH, ENGLAND ON HIS ROUND-THE-WORLD VOYAGE.
With this much free time, he must be retired.
1636: THE MASSACHUSETTS BAY COLONY ORGANIZES THREE MILITIA REGIMENTS TO DEFEND THE COLONY AGAINST THE PEQUOT INDIANS,. THIS ORGANIZATION IS RECOGNIZED TODAY AS THE FOUNDING OF THE NATIONAL GUARD.
National Guard flows off the tongue a lot better than saying "let's call in the Massachusetts Bay Colony."
1642: ABEL TASMAN REACHES NEW ZEALAND.
Funny. He just went out for a pack of cigarettes.
1769: DARTMOUTH COLLEGE IS FOUNDED.
When does the gift shop open for sweat shirts?
1818: FIRST LADY MARY TODD LINCOLN IS BORN.
Later on, there will be a night at the theater she will not enjoy.
1862: AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - AT THE BATTLE OF FREDERICKSBURG, CONFEDERATE ROBERT E. LEE DEFEATS UNION GENERAL AMBROSE BURNSIDE.
Hey, let's erect a statue...oh, never mind.
1908: ACTOR VAN HEFLIN IS BORN.
The plane bomber in "Airport."
1925: ACTOR DICK VAN DYKE IS BORN.
Going strong at 92.
1928: GEORGE GERSHWIN'S "AN AMERICAN IN PARIS" IS FIRST PERFORMED.
Not one of my favorite MGM musicals.
1934: FILM PRODUCER RICHARD ZANUCK IS BORN.
And died in 2012, which means Van Dyke beat him on both ends.
1936: BASEBALL PLAYER J.C. MARTIN IS BORN.
The New York Met famous for running out of the first baseline.
1938: THE HOLOCAUST - THE NEUENGAMME CONCENTRATION CAMP OPENS IN HAMBURG, GERMANY.
Gee, this shit started a lot earlier than I thought.
1941: WORLD WAR II - THE KINGDOMS OF HUNGARY AND ROMANIA DECLARE WAR ON THE US.
Oh, yeah, now I'm scared.
1941: SINGER JOHN DAVIDSON IS BORN.
I wonder how much hair he had at birth.
1945: POLITICIAN HERMAN CAIN IS BORN.
I wonder which parent ultimately raised Cain. Ouch.
1949: THE KNESSET VOTES TO MOVE THE CAPITAL OF ISRAEL TO JERUSALEM.
I'd like a potato knesset please. Oh, wait, I read that wrong.
1950: ACTRESS WENDIE MALICK IS BORN.
Wow, older than I thought. Luke Warm in Cleveland.
1960: WHILE EMPEROR HAILE SELASSIE OF ETHIOPIA VISITS BRAZIL, HIS IMPERIAL BODYGUARD SEIZES THE CAPITAL AND PROCLAIMS HIM DEPOSED AND HIS SON BECOMES EMPEROR.
That's why world leaders should never go on vacation.
1961: PAINTER GRANDMA MOSES DIES.
At 101. Nobody call this passing premature.
1972: APOLLO SPACE PROGRAM - EUGENE CERNAN AND HARRISON SCHMITT BEGIN THEIR FINAL MOONWALK OF APOLLO 17. TO DATE THEY ARE THE LAST HUMANS TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.
Does that include Alice Kramden?
1977: AIR INDIANA FLIGHT 216 CRASHES NEAR EVANSVILLE, KILLING 29, INCLUDING THE UNIVERSITY OF EVANSVILLE BASKETBALL TEAM.
Game cancelled.
1988: PLO CHAIRMAN YASSER ARAFAT GIVES A SPEECH AT A UN GENERAL ASSEMBLY MEETING IN SWITZERLAND AFTER US AUTHORITIES REFUSED TO GRANT HIM A VISA TO VISIT UN HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK.
A travel ban and Trump is nowhere to be found.
2003: FORMER IRAQI PRESIDENT SADDAM HUSSEIN IS CAPTURED NEAR HIS HOME TOWN.
Well, he had a good run.
2016: ACTOR ALAN THICKE DIES.
Jeez, has it been a year already?
Dinner last night: Had a long travel day back to LA.
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