14: TIBERIUS IS CONFIRMED AS ROMAN EMPEROR BY THE ROMAN SENATE FOLLOWING THE NATURAL DEATH OF AUGUSTUS.
That's because they did change some rulers due to "unnatural" deaths.
96: NERVA IS PROCLAIMED ROMAN EMPEROR AFTER DOMITIAN IS ASSASSINATED.
Like I said...
1502: CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS LANDS AT HONDURAS ON HIS FOURTH AND FINAL VOYAGE.
Not counting his 1979 appearance on the Love Boat.
1635: HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR FERDINAND II OF AUSTRIA DECLARES WAR ON FRANCE.
Hey, Ferdie, did you hear what happened to Domitian?
1759: DURING THE SEVEN YEARS WAR, THE BRITISH CAPTURE QUEBEC CITY.
A war that has enough years to be sold to TV syndication.
1793: THE FIRST CORNERSTONE OF THE CAPITOL BUILDING IS LAID BY GEORGE WASHINGTON.
What? The wife had a headache?
1809: THE ROYAL OPERA HOUSE IN LONDON OPENS.
Good. Now the Phantom has some place to live.
1837: TIFFANY AND COMPANY OPENS IN NEW YORK.
Good. Now Audrey Hepburn has some place to have breakfast.
1838: THE ANTI-CORN LAW LEAGUE IS ESTABLISHED.
First target? The TV show Hee Haw.
1851: FIRST PUBLICATION OF WHAT WOULD BECOME THE NEW YORK TIMES.
And today we're wondering what became of the New York Times.
1870: OLD FAITHFUL GEYSER IS OBSERVED FOR THE FIRST TIME.
By somebody who got very wet.
1895: DANIEL DAVID PALMER GIVES THE FIRST CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENT.
PS, he wasn't a doctor.
1905: ACTOR EDDIE ANDERSON IS BORN.
Rochester!
1905: DANCER AGNES DE MILLE IS BORN.
Oklahoma!
1905: ACTRESS GRETA GARBO IS BORN.
You're not alone on this date. Rochester and Agnes are here, too.
1906: A TYPHOON AND TSUNAMI KILLS 10,000 PEOPLE IN HONG KONG.
Weather's classic one-two punch.
1916: ACTOR ROSSANO BRAZZI IS BORN.
Delicious with a glass of chianti.
1919: FRITZ POLLARD BECOMES THE FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN TO PLAY PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL FOR A MAJOR TEAM, THE AKRON PROS.
Major team????
1924: POLICE OFFICER JD TIPPIT IS BORN.
The other guy killed in Dallas on November 22, 1963.
1927: THE COLUMBIA BROADCASTING SYSTEM GOES ON THE AIR.
Except on Time Warner cable systems.
1933: ACTOR ROBERT BLAKE IS BORN.
You did it!
1934: THE USSR IS SUBMITTED TO LEAGUE OF NATIONS.
But they changed their mind because there was no DH.
1939: THE NAZI PROPAGANDA BROADCASTER KNOWN AS LORD HAW HAW BEGINS TRANSMITTING.
The German version of Hee Haw. Please notify the Anti-Corn League.
1939: SINGER FRANKIE AVALON IS BORN.
Given his current height, how small a baby was he?
1939: ACTOR FRED WILLARD IS BORN.
Saw him once in a movie theater. No, not that kind of movie theater.
1943: ADOLF HITLER ORDERS THE DEPORTATION OF DANISH JEWS.
And any Jews that eat danishes.
1945: GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR MOVES HIS COMMAND HEADQUARTERS TO TOKYO.
Please remove your boots at the door.
1947: THE US AIR FORCE BECOMES AN INDEPENDENT BRANCH OF THE US ARMED FORCES.
Off we go into the wild, blue yonder. By the way, what the hell is a yonder?
1961: UN SECRETARY GENERAL DAG HAMMARSKJOLD DIES IN A CONGO PLANE CRASH.
Truly a loss. And a name that would be almost 82 points on Scrabble.
1962: BURUNDI, JAMAICA, RWANDA, TRINIDAD, AND TOBAGO ARE ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
You might want to rethink the admittance of Rwanda.
1968: ACTOR FRANCHOT TONE DIES.
Once married to Joan Crawford. I'm surprised he lived this long.
1970: ROCK MUSICIAN JIMI HENDRIX DIES.
In what other blog today would you find both the names of Franchot Tone and Jimi Hendrix?
1973: THE BAHAMAS, EAST GERMANY, AND WEST GERMANY ARE ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
Hey, you Germans, that's separate dues for the both of you.
1975: PATTY HEARST IS ARRESTED AFTER A YEAR ON THE FBI MOST WANTED LIST.
And Match.com's Least Wanted List.
1990: LICHTENSTEIN BECOMES A MEMBER OF THE UNITED NATIONS.
Whoever you are, welcome.
1997: MEDIA MOGUL TED TURNER DONATES ONE BILLION DOLLARS TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
Somebody wants a discount at the UN gift shop.
2001: FIRST MAILING OF ANTHRAX LETTERS FROM TRENTON, NEW JERSEY IN THE 2001 ANTHRAX ATTACKS.
You think that's bad? I'm still getting junk mail from Capital One.
2004: DIRECTOR RUSS MEYER DIES.
He did lots of soft porn. God bless him.
2009: THE SOAP OPERA GUIDING LIGHT ENDS ITS RUN AFTER 72 YEARS.
So, what was the final count on illegitimate pregnancies?
Dinner last night: Long travel day so nothing.
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