...the made-for-TV movie on your friendly streaming service.
None will be remembered kindly as it's all basically junk. Truth be told, I avoid most of this shit like the plague. But one title caught my eye...
"Summer of 69."
Oooh, how nostalgic. The summer of the Miracle Mets. Woodstock. Man walking on the moon.
Um, not that 69.
Oh.
And we sink lower to the depths of depravity.
Indeed, I thought back to when I was 16 and didn't know about such things, except maybe the Mets. If you are wondering how low society has gone, this movie is for you.
Young high school girl has a crush on the cute boy working the counter at the ice cream stand. She is told he just broke up with his long time girlfriend and, oh, by the way, he likes to "69." So she literally empties her bank to pay a local stripper that will teach her all about "69." And I ain't talking Ron Swoboda.
The first half of this movie is lewd and filthy, even though nothing happens. But, about midway in, the film starts to lift whole plot points and music from the 80s classic "Risky Business." So what begins as dirty comes out grossly unoriginal. And as tame as an episode of Sally Field's "Gidget."
Yep, 100 minutes and nothing happens. For a brief moment, I actually wanted to see them "69." That might have justified the time I wasted with this complete travesty.
It's on Hulu. I tell you that so you can avoid it.
LEN'S RATING: One star.
Dinner last night: Tri-tip sandwich at Wood Ranch.
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