Classic TV Commercial of the Month - July 2018

Cool and refreshing.  And no calories???

Dinner last night:  Grilled bratwurst, cole slaw, and macaroni salad.

Born on the Mug of July

 If you mean home by Christmas, you're not gonna make it.

 This is no gag.

 Just a hunch that his crime involved children.

 Is this a lunch break in jail?

 Send for the prison barber please.

 What happens when your wife looks just like Larry of the 3 Stooges.

 How do you hold your hair on?  Double knots.

 I would disagree.

 Nothing like a mug shot with product placement.

 Again I disagree.

 The T-shirt alone should get him twenty years.

OMG!  They've arrested the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz!!

Dinner last night:  Barbecued steak salad.

Moron of the Month - July 2018

This is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and she is fighting for you.   If you live in the Bronx, that is.   Of course, if you live in the Bronx these days, you'll need all the help you can get.  Even if it's from this 28-year-old moron.  

She's all the rage amongst the screwball liberals because she beat to a pulp some long term congressman from the Bronx in some election last week.    Now this nitwit millennial is headed to Washington, DC and her mother already says Alexandria is bound for the White House.   First off, she needs to be 35 to do so.  Secondly, this country will be so fucked up by that time it makes no difference for another idiot to take residence on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Because of her youth and her dynamic personality, she overnight became the face of the Democratic Party.   You should have seen the way some of my Facebook friends fawned over her last week.   You have to listen to her words. She is speaking the truth.   She will save us like Jesus and/or Obama.   I get the latter two confused all the time.

So I listened to her a bit and found very little there of substance.   She talks the talking points and comes off like she's got a brain in her head.   But, at her very core, the words spelled out one very disturbing characteristic.

Alexandria is a fucking socialist.  There is no doubt about it.   And I look at my gaga friends on social media and now I worry about them.   

The only trouble with these folks getting behind a freakin' socialists is that many of them have done very well for them in a capitalist society.  They have enjoyed successful careers.   A few have retired and now have lives completely set with pensions, lifetime health benefits, etc..   Um, that would not have happened with the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as one of our lawmakers.

Maybe it's me, but I like to reward hard work and success.   I pay my personal trainer because he is good at what he does and probably better than most. Let's face it.   When it comes to smarts and talents and abilities, we are not all equal.  Nutjobs like Cortez think that's the case.   Um, far from it.

The good news is now that Alexandria is surprisingly now immersed in the world of politics, she will wind up just as corrupt as the rest of them.   Because when it comes to helping the common man, she will learn how to enjoy limousines and fine dining on the taxpayers' dime.  It is inevitable that she turns to pond scum just like the rest. 

Maybe I should rename this monthly post "Fraud of the Month."

Dinner last night:  Pepperoni pizza at the Hollywood Bowl.

This Date in History - July 4

You think this date is only known for the birth of America.  Wait till you see what else happened on this day.

414:  EMPEROR THEODOSIUS, AGE 13, YIELDS POWER TO HIS OLDER SISTER AELIA PULCHERIA AS EMPRESS OF THE EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE.

"I'm an Eastern Roman Dandy...."

993:  SAINT ULRICH OF AUGSBURG IS CANONIZED.

"I'm a Saint of Augsburg Dandy...."  Okay, folks, I will probably only do that gag three times.   That's two.

1054:  A SUPERNOVA IS SEEN BY CHINESE, ARAB, AND POSSIBLY AMERINDIAN OBSERVERS.

Anybody see the Superpinto?  Or the Superduster?

1120:  JORDAN II OF CAPUA IS ANOINTED AS PRINCE AFTER HIS INFANT NEPHEW'S DEATH.

Wait.  His infant nephew had the job before him???

1456:  THE SIEGE OF NANDORFEHERVAR BEGINS.

Okay, spell that word out in your next "Words with Friends" match.

1636:  THE CITY OF PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND FORMS.

Beating the birth of the country by about 140 years.

1754:  DURING THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR, GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON SURRENDERS FORT NECESSITY TO FRENCH CAPTAIN LOUIS COULON DE VILLIERS.

Obviously, it wasn't.

1776:  THE UNITED STATES DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE IS ADOPTED. 

History books unfortunately do not tell us who lit the first sparkler.

1778:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, AMERICAN FORCES UNDER GEORGE CLARK CAPTURE KASKASKIA DURING THE ILLINOIS CAMPAIGN.

As long as Kaskaskia isn't anywhere near the south side of Chicago, good for them.

1802:  AT WEST POINT, NEW YORK, THE UNITED STATES MILITARY ACADEMY OPENS.

Girls colleges in that area, watch out.

1803:  THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE IS ANNOUNCED TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

When did it happen?  And were they sitting on this news???

1810:  THE FRENCH OCCUPY AMSTERDAM.

See how they like it 130 years later.

1816:  DISTILLER HIRAM WALKER IS BORN.

Hiccup.

1817:  CONSTRUCTION OF THE ERIE CANAL BEGINS.

Shovel ready.

1826:  THOMAS JEFFERSON, THIRD PRESIDENT OF THE US, DIES THE SAME DAY AS JOHN ADAMS, SECOND PRESIDENT OF THE US, ON THE FIFTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

I smell a suicide pact.

1827:  SLAVERY IS ABOLISHED IN NEW YORK STATE.

Al Sharpton's earliest achievement.

1831:  JAMES MONROE, THE FIFTH PRESIDENT OF THE US, DIES.

Boy, those early Presidents sure were a weird bunch.

1838:  THE IOWA TERRITORY IS ORGANIZED.

As opposed to the Occupy movement which was not.

1862:  LEWIS CARROLL TELLS ALICE LIDDELL A STORY THAT WOULD GROW INTO "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND."

Uh huh.  Nobody can tell me Lewis Carroll wasn't smoking some hard stuff when he dreamt this up.

1865:  "ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND" IS PUBLISHED.

And apparently he kept smoking it.

1882:  MOVIE MOGUL LOUIS B. MAYER IS BORN.

"I'm a Yankee Doodle Bastard...."

1886:  THE PEOPLE OF FRANCE OFFER THE STATUE OF LIBERTY TO THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES.

Did you save the gift receipt?

1894:  THE SHORT-LIVED REPUBLIC OF HAWAII IS PROCLAIMED BY SANFORD B. DOLE.

Sanford and Pineapple.

1903:  DOROTHY LEVITT IS REPORTED AS THE FIRST WOMAN IN THE WORLD TO COMPETE IN A MOTOR RACE.

She was racing for a parking space in the mall where Macy's was having a sale.

1910:  BLACK BOXER JACK JOHNSON KNOCKS OUT WHITE BOXER JIM JEFFRIES IN A BOXING MATCH THAT SPARKS RACE RIOTS ACROSS THE US.

Before television sets, why did people loot during riots?

1910:  ACTRESS GLORIA STUART IS BORN. 

She lasted to the age of 100.  And got an Oscar nomination at the age of 87.  Saving the best for last.

1911:  ENTERTAINER MITCH MILLER IS BORN.

Everybody, sing!

1913:  PRESIDENT WOODROW WILSON ADDRESSES CIVIL WAR VETERANS AT THE GREAT REUNION OF 1913.

The reunion in 1912 was only mediocre.

1918:  ADVICE COLUMNIST ANN LANDERS IS BORN.

Okay, she'll be taking your letters in about...er, 30 years.

1918:  ADVICE COLUMNIST ABIGAIL VAN BUREN IS BORN.

Stupid readers will think this is a weird coincidence.  The smart ones will know that THEY WERE TWINS!!!

1924:  ACTRESS EVA MARIE SAINT IS BORN.

She's in one of my favorite movies of all time.  "North by Northwest."

1927:  ACTRESS GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA IS BORN.

Va-va-va-voom.

1927:  PLAYWRIGHT NEIL SIMON IS BORN.

Certainly not the best looking person to be born on this date in 1927.

1930:  YANKEE OWNER GEORGE STEINBRENNER IS BORN.

Had more hair on this day than at any other time in his life.

1931:  ACTOR STEPHEN BOYD IS BORN.

He's in one of my favorite movies of all time.  "Ben-Hur."

1938:  SINGER BILL WITHERS IS BORN.

"Ain't no sunshine..."

1939:  ON THE FIRST EVER OLDTIMERS DAY, LOU GEHRIG TELLS A YANKEE STADIUM CROWD THAT HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF "THE LUCKIEST MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH" AS HE ANNOUNCES HIS RETIREMENT FROM BASEBALL.

Weird fact:  In the movie, Gary Cooper was a right-handed batter and they had to flip the camera so he could appear to be the left-handed Gehrig.

1943:  JOURNALIST GERALDO RIVERA IS BORN.

I can't believe that I described him that way.

1943:  FOOTBALL PLAYER EMERSON BOOZER IS BORN.

On the same date as Hiram Walker.  Fitting.

1950:  THE FIRST BROADCAST BY RADIO FREE EUROPE.

Ultimately, nothing is really "free."

1960:  FOLLOWING THE ADMISSION OF HAWAII INTO THE US IN 1959, THE 50-STAR AMERICAN FLAG DEBUTS IN PHILADELPHIA.

It took almost a year to do this sewing job??  You can't trust those sweat jobs.

1966:  PRESIDENT LYNDON B. JOHNSON SIGNS THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT INTO LAW.

Okay, as I said, nothing is really "free."

1976:  TALL SHIPS LINE NY HARBOR AS AMERICA CELEBRATES ITS BICENTENNIAL.

I remember this day.  While the country celebrated, I had the worst case of colitis.

1887:  IN FRANCE, FORMER GESTAPO CHIEF KLAUS BARBIE IS CONVICTED OF CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY AND IS SENTENCED TO LIFE IMPRISONMENT.

No news on the sentencing for Ken and Skipper.

1995:  ACTRESS EVA GABOR DIES.

Now residing underneath Green Acres.

1997:  JOURNALIST CHARLES KURALT DIES.

The Road ends.

2003:  SINGER BARRY WHITE DIES.

The inventor of Kiss Cam.

2004:  THE CORNERSTONE OF THE FREEDOM TOWER IS LAID ON THE SITE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER IN NY.

On my list for a visit.

2005:  FOOTBALL COACH HANK STRAM DIES.

The clock runs out.

2008:  POLITICIAN JESSE HELMS DIES.

Liberals want to make this a national holiday.

Dinner last night:  Chicken and waffles at the Dodger game.

Hell Hath No Fury...

I have no idea why I titled today's blog entry with that Biblical statement.  It's the only one I could think of after sitting through the mind numbing and ultimately aggravating "First Reformed."

I say it was ultimately aggravating because this film turned out to be not what I was expecting.   It was the log line that initially attracted me to the box office. The movie was allegedly about a small town pastor with a dying church that is up against one of this big box mega-cathedrals.  Okay, I am curious as my own church has dwindled in number and struggled to survive.  

And, for the first hour or so, I am seeing the story I expected.   Ethan Hawke plays Reverend Toller, a lonely man dealing with his own failing health along with his failing chapel.  Okay, the film is a tad slow moving.   Okay, it crawls along like Adrian Gonzalez used to do on the base paths for the Dodgers.   But I am mildly intrigued.

And then the tone shifts.   Suddenly.  Harshly.   Inexplicably.  Annoyingly.  Not wanting to give anything in the event you are a masochist and want to see this thing, but the last 45 minutes or so becomes an updated version of "Taxi Driver."  And you are absolutely confused.  To make matters worse, the final scene stops suddenly just like the last moments of the Sopranos' series finale.  Did the film break?   Did the projectionist forget to change the reel?  Nope, after about a twenty second lapse into complete darkness, the credits drearily rolled.

WTF.

Had I done more homework before I went to this ungodly swill, I would have seen that "First Reformed" was written and directed by Paul Schrader.  This guy's been around for decades and each one of his works is darker than the last.  And, wait...what's that I see as one of his earliest credits?  He wrote the script for...ta da..."Taxi Driver."

Which Psalm is the one that says "thou can't teach a dog new tricks?"

LEN'S RATING:  One-and-a-half stars.

Dinner last night:  Sausage pizza at Stella Barra,

Monday Morning Video Laugh - July 2, 2018

A deadly combination.   The Fourth of July and a slow news day.

Dinner last night:  Pulled pork sandwich at Holy Cow.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Yearbook, Get Your Yearbook Here.

I don't know why but I did.   

Last week when I made my annual trip to Citi Field, I plunked down my 15 bucks for the annual New York Met yearbook.  My collection is over fifty years old.   I got it home and was literally done looking at all the pictures in five minutes.   I would have enjoyed spending some time with a few articles.  But...wait...there were none.

Sigh.

It used to be the highlight of my summer.

Meanwhile, the 2018 Los Angeles Dodgers yearbook, while also laden with photos, actually has some well done prose and stories.   It took me over two hours to get through a first perusal.

Now that's what a baseball team's yearbook should be.   Something that lasts all summer.

Ah, I remember when....

When I was a kid, my dad took me to two, maybe three Met games a year.  Of course, as you might imagine, the weeks preceding each game offered me glorious anticipation.  Who was going to be the starting pitcher?   I'd start tracking that weeks in advance.  What was the weather forecast?   I'd start looking for that on TV a week in advance. 

And, of course, there was my allowance.  I needed to plan my expected souvenir purchase.

And, if it was the right time of the season, I'd be scraping together two quarters to buy the Mets yearbook. 

When I mention "the right time of the season," this was intricate guesswork on my part.  You see the photo above?  There is a notation in the upper right hand corner.

"Revised Edition."

If the Mets had undergone a lot of personnel changes in the first two months of the season, they would do a revised version of the yearbook to get the new guys in there.  I never ever wanted to have an incomplete yearbook.  So, I would want to have the book, but always needed to wait in case they did the revised edition. 

Regardless, I needed to have that damn thing in my house by July 1.  Because school was over and I was into my summer reading phase.  And a major part of that was the Mets yearbook.

This is when there was more to the book than just player pictures.  There were extensive write-ups on each and every Met.  Other nifty articles.  It kept this eight-year-old awfully busy.  I'd curl up in my favorite hot weather reading spot---right next to the kitchen fan---and completely immerse myself in a cool breeze and some hot stats.

It would take me several nights to finish the Mets yearbook.

Yes, I have them all.  Save for one yearbook.   The very, very first yearbook from my very, very first season with the Mets.   During my second season with the team, they went on what seemed to be a 25 game losing streak.  I got so disgusted that I ripped up the yearbook from the previous season.  Which you can now buy on e-Bay for about twenty bucks.

Oh, well.

I was so captivated by baseball yearbook reading that I branched out.   You see, in my younger days, I always nominated an American League team to be my own each summer.  Since most of the kids "up the block" were Yankee fans, I needed to talk on their level about teams in the same league. 

Of course, I seemed to switch American League favorites every summer.  One year, I was enamored with the Chicago White Sox.  The next year, it was the Boston Red Sox.  One summer later, it was the Detroit Tigers.  I never stuck with one for more than a season.  Hey, my fandom was valuable.

Naturally, I had to look the part.  Back then, there was a place called Manny's Baseball Land across the street from Yankee Stadium.  The cool thing about this souvenir store was that they had stuff from all teams.  It was a different time and era.  So, usually accompanied by my best neighborhood chum Leo, we'd pop down to Manny's on the subway.  And I would officially adopt an American League team by buying myself their cap.

And, of course, their team yearbook.

For the next two weeks, I'd be back nestled against the kitchen fan.  Learning all about Carl Yastrzemski or Jim Northrup or John Buzhardt.  I mean, I had to be totally conversant, right?

For me, there was nothing like enveloping myself in a baseball team yearbook.  I could read it for days.

What else is better to do on a summer night?

Dinner last night:  Arclight salad at the Arclight...duh.