What Passes for Journalism

 I get the Los Angeles Times every morning.  For the news and the columnists?  Nah.  For Blondie and the Sudoku puzzle.   Otherwise, this once great publication is nothing but a daily newsletter for the Democratic Party.

The absolutely perfect illustration of this came a week or so ago when their second section featured an incredibly and exhaustive look at what Vice President Kamala Harris and our dopey First Gentleman do when they choose to spend a weekend at their Brentwood home.   It was perhaps the most laughable story ever published with lots of photos attached.  Allegedly candid snapshots that likely required hours to stage.

For instance, take a look at the one above.  The two idiots take a leisurely stroll through the nabe, waving to neighbors.  More likely she's signaling to the Secret Service or her limo driver.  The neighbors are stuck in their cars probably blocks away behind a police barricade which normally occurs when Harris comes home to rest from her Washington job of doing absolutely nothing.

The LA Times had other glimpses as well.   The couple dining casually at El Cholo in Santa Monica.  Probably after the restaurant was locked down for a few hours. Oh, and there was another shot of Kamala checking out some fresh produce at a local farmer's market.  As if this stooge actually knew how to boil some broccoli.

What the hell was any of this doing in the local paper except to act as the false validation that Harris and her family are just normal folks like you and me.  This article and the accompanying illustrations were actually insults to anybody with half a brain in their heads.

How stupid do they think we are?   Sadly, probably very.

Dinner last night:  Leftover beef bourguignon.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - January 15, 2024

 It happens every year.

Dinner last night:  Beef Bourguinon.   

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My Fantasy Date List

Fresh from New Year's Eve, some of my readers might not have a memory from two weeks ago. Me? I was clear-headed enough to know that Valerie Bertinelli was NOT my date for the evening. Nor were these small screen babes, who, years ago, used to melt my butter when I was a kid.

Yep, longtime readers, this is another encore presentation of one of my blog entries.  Look, if you can watch a "Seinfeld" episode over and over, you certainly can reread one of my comedic stylings once.  To all my new faces, the following is all fresh information and it will appear that I did not get lazy this first weekend of 2024.

Here goes nothing.  Or, indeed, something.

Angela Cartwright: I didn't give her a second look from those Danny Thomas reruns when she played this annoying imp you wanted to push down an elevator shaft. But, then she hit puberty while apparently "lost in space" and, frankly, there was no gravity pull on some of her anatomical regions. She got pretty hot in her teenage years, despite the fact that she wore a ski parka that was made out of my grandmother's living room drapes. Unfortunately, she didn't have a long shelf life in my hormonal supermarket. Because, around the same time, she was modeling a one piece jump suit that was ideal for intergalactic exploration, I had already turned my attention to an older woman.

Barbara Feldon: She constituted sexy in my limited grade school world. While I thought she was incredibly cool, I probably had some deep-seeded arguments with myself. Did I want her as a girlfriend? Or a mother? Girlfriend, mother. Girlfriend, mother. But, then again, even at that early age, I should have probably reasoned that my mother never laid down on a tiger skin rug and purred at the camera the way Barbara Feldon did on those TV commercials. And I defy any of my friends to tell me that their mothers were able to do the same. Indeed, as I write this, I realize that this entire episode is my earliest ever example of "too much information."

Karen Valentine: Oh, where have you gone? She was absolutely precious on "Room 222" and "The Hollywood Squares." She has gone the way of Cocoa Marsh and Remco Toys. Allegedly, she does a lot of regional theater and now lives in Connecticut, but I've never equated that state with oblivion. I actually got to do a phone interview with her while I was in college and I had to muster all my journalistic integrity to stop from asking her out right then and there. Also, her then-husband coming home was another buzz kill.

Bess Armstrong: This actress from the 80s never really had a huge career. Limited TV and film roles. Now, she shows up every so or often in a guest spot as somebody's parent on a Lifetime movie. But, if you want to really understand what I am talking about with regard to Bess, go check out the movie "The Four Seasons." Focus on the segment where they are on the yacht in the Caribbean. If you're a woman, ignore everything I just wrote. Or maybe not.

Linda Kelsey: A terrific actress from the Lou Grant TV show which is in desperate need of DVD box set treatment. While Linda is certainly quite cute, she was my first Hollywood crush that was not completely based on looks. Part of the magic for me was the character she played on the show. A self-assured, talented, hard-working news reporter. I was coming to grips that there was much more to the male-female relationship than physical attraction. I was becoming sensitive to the notion that women could be more than just sex objects. Of course, none of this made a shitload of difference in my personal life. Linda moved to Minnesota a while ago, and it's probably the only positive thing now in that state.

For whatever it was worth then or is worth now, I loved all these women.

And I still hate their husbands.

Dinner last night:  Orange chicken.

Classic Newsreel of the Month - January 2024

 And, as 1962 begins...

Dinner last night:  Sandwich.

The Early Candidates for Next Year's Christmas Photo

 

More of the sad parade that is called Life. Take, for instance, this bunch up north. Mom hasn't quite figured how to correctly apply that fake suntan lotion.

Yeah, kid, I hear you. Birthdays suck.

So, Granny, are they real?

Will somebody please call the ASPCA about what this guy is doing to that dog?

Hey, Mom, how about a blink?

I'd give ten bucks to the first person who yells "timber."

"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. Oh, yeah, and a new family."

Don't fuck with Grandma.

Dinner last night:  Salisbury steak.

The Post-Christmas Malaise

It happens every year at this time.   The holidays are over and we are all hit by a sad realization.  Not that the joy and merriment are over for another year.  Nope, we all get depressed anew when we learn just how incompetent our postal service is.

You see, from early January to sometimes early March, I receive about six to ten holiday cards back with the notation made famous in the song.

Return to sender.  Address unknown.

Except when I look at the address on the envelope, it's correct.   And since I have pre-typed labels, it's not an issue of penmanship.  This year, I got eight cards back.  One, indeed, had the wrong address.  But the other seven?   Perfectly fine.

I realized a good friend's Christmas card to me was missing.   Of course, he sent a card.   I likely will see it around President's Day.   Another friend wrote to me and asked for my correct address.  When did I move?   The address he had for me on the returned card was 100 percent on the money.

I can remember the day when the US Postal Service was perfect.  Not so much now.  You wonder about the reading skills and how diminished they are.  Of course, it all went downhill when there were employment quotas that had to be met.   All of a sudden, your mail carrier went from a high school diploma to a third grade education.

We welcome all to your government jobs.  Even the stupid.

But, have no fear, it's going to get a lot worse.  

Dinner last night:  Cheese and pamcetta omelet.

This Date in History - January 10

 

Happy birthday, Rod Stewart.  Hope you get a comb for a present.

49 BC:  JULIUS CAESAR CROSSES THE RUBICON, SIGNALING THE START OF CIVIL WAR.

January is two months before March.  Just saying.

69 AD:  LUCIUS CALPURNIUS PISO LICINIANUS IS APPOINTED AS DEPUTY ROMAN EMPEROR.

How long does it take to get an autograph from him?

1645:  ARCHBISHOP WILLIAM LAUD IS BEHEADED AT THE TOWER OF LONDON.

So no caps for a Christmas gift.

1776:  THOMAS PAINE PUBLISHES THE PAMPHLET COMMON SENSE.

Interesting, because in 2024, so many people don't have it.

1812:  THE FIRST STEAMBOAT ON THE OHIO RIVER OR THE MISSISSIPPI ARRIVES IN NEW ORLEANS, 82 DAYS AFTER DEPARTING FROM PITTSBURGH.

They hit traffic.

1861:  AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - FLORIDA SECEDES FROM THE UNION.

The bad news is they eventually came back.

1870:  JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER INCORPORATES STANDARD OIL.

Moneybags.

1901:  THE FIRST GREAT TEXAS OIL GUSHER IS DISCOVERED IN BEAUMONT, TEXAS.

Paging JR Ewing.

1904:  ACTOR RAY BOLGER IS BORN.

Brain needed.

1917:  BUFFALO BILL DIES.

The real guy, not the football franchise.

1920:  THE TREATY OF VERSAILLES TAKES EFFECT, OFFICIALLY ENDING WORLD WAR I.

Just wait till the next world war.  You ain't seen nothing yet.

1927:  FRITZ LANG'S FUTURISTIC FILM METROPOLIS IS RELEASED.

Not the one with Superman.

1930:  BUSINESSMAN ROY E. DISNEY IS BORN.

Mickey's cousin.

1938:  BASEBALL STAR WILLIE MCCOVEY IS BORN.

A SF Giant.  Boo!!

1939:  ACTOR SAL MINEO IS BORN.

I actually know the spot in West Hollywood where he got killed in 1976.

1945:  SINGER ROD STEWART IS BORN.

With that gravely voice, you know he smoked and did drugs.

1946:  THE FIRST GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE UNITED NATIONS OPENS IN LONDON.  FIFTY-ONE NATIONS ARE REPRESENTED.

I'd love to know the countries who, every year, are late with their annual dues payment.

1946:  THE US ARMY SIGNAL CORPS SUCCESSFULLY CONDUCTS PROJECT DIANA, BOUNCING RADIO WAVES OFF THE MOON.

Well, that seems like a thoroughly stupid exercise.

1949:  ACTRESS LINDA LOVELACE IS BORN.

I find that hard to swallow.

1962:  NASA ANNOUNCES PLANS TO BUILD THE C-5 ROCKET LAUNCH VEHICLE, WHICH LAUNCHED EVERY APOLLO MOON MISSION.

Because it will take more than a sling shot to get them up there.

1972:  SHEIKH MUJIBUR RAHMAN RETURNS TO THE NEWLY INDEPENDENT BANGLADESH AS PRESIDENT AFTER SPENDING OVER NINE MONTHS IN A PAKISTAN PRISON.

Pakistan prison.   That concept is redundant.

1982:  ACTOR PAUL LYNDE DIES.

Oh, my goodness.  PS, met him several times.   

1985:  SANDINISTA DANIEL ORTEGA BECOMES PRESIDENTS OF NICARAGUA AND VOWS TO CONTINUE THE TRANSFORMATION TO SOCIALISM.

And also steal the market on some Mexican tortilla chips.

1990:  TIME WARNER IS FORMED BY THE MERGER OF TIME AND WARNER COMMUNICATIONS.

Your cable bill is going up.

1997:  ACTOR SHELDON LEONARD DIES.

Psst.  Hey, buddy.  Come over here.

2007:  FILM PRODUCER CARLO PONTI DIES.

Married to Sophia Loren.   Hence, he was no dummy.

2015:  A MASS POISONING AT A FUNERAL IN MOZAMBIQUE INVOLVES BEER THAT WAS DELIBERATELY CONTAMINATED WITH CROCODILE BILE.

Eeewwww.

2016:  SINGER DAVID BOWIE DIES.

Still sad about this.

2017:  SINGER BUDDY GRECO DIES.

This singer...um, not so much.

Dinner last night:  Hamburger.