Just in time for your holiday shopping. Another foray through Sky Mall. For some of the most useless junk ever offered for sale.
Take, for instance, this eye gouger. Well, it's designed to shoot marshmallows, but you just know that there will be people who take it to extremes.
You want fruit? Sky Mall's got fruits. Pears. The gift that just keeps giving. Until, of course, the pears got bad and your present winds up in the garbage. Now, this would be a great companion gift to the marshmallow gun above. Load that sucker up with a Bartlett pear and watch your relatives scatter like cockroaches with the light turned on.
I cannot believe the number of devices on sale that protect your little kitty's privacy when nature calls. Does the lid close? Can you lock little Felix in that contraption and then toss it around the room? If so, I'm a buyer!
And you had no idea what to buy the asthmatic in your family? This nifty lung exerciser is just the thing. Meanwhile, my parents got one free every time they were in the hospital for a stay. Of course, my mother tried to light hers and smoke it.
Here's a great little treat for under the tree. Actually, the fun part happens even before you bestow the gift. You have to figure out where to hide the salami.
The crossword puzzle that fits on any wall. This is just perfect for those in your family who you suspect might have a future as a subway graffiti artist. If you're this bored, you might as well end your life right now.
Dinner last night: Pizza di Parma at Pizza and Brew.
1 comment:
I want to leave America but can't decide where to go. A country with less useless crap on sale would be nice.
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