A great vintage photo of the Radio City Music Hall entrance from a Christmas back in the 50s. It had to be winter. Look at the clunky boots on the lady in the foreground.
I'm wondering what the movie was at the time of this snapshot, because it doesn't look crowded. I can remember being in a line down the block for the requisite holiday flick and stage show, complete with a Nativity scene that always made my mother cry and had live animal smells that made my eyes water.
Spending your Christmas time off with the latest Hollywood releases is a tradition for many of us. It's also when studios are more likely to put out good stuff that might be Oscar-bound. Or maybe not. Here's what is out now or coming shortly. Your delightful holiday diversions. Or maybe not.
Avatar: James Cameron finally follows up on Titanic from about twelve years and everyone is expecting the same box office juggernaut. I say, "phooey." From what I have seen and read, there will be little interest from anybody over the age of 25. The target audience are those goofballs who who think that video game graphics are an art form. Titanic appealed to the masses. Avatar will appeal to the asses. And, three hours of 3-D images will incite optic tumors from ghost to ghost. I hear that sneak preview audiences walked away nauseous. The creatures in the trailers look ridiculous. Smurfs with botox injections. One female "thing" looked like a cross between Blue Man Group and Joan Van Ark. I cannot be bothered.
Brothers: You have a very short memory. I wrote about this yesterday.
The Princess and the Frog: I hear that this misguided Disney cartoon is way overrated. Most critics reviewed it favorably because they didn't want to appear racist. Just so you know, all the human cartoon characters are Black. I assume the frog is green.
The Blind Side: Uh oh. Here are four words you never ever hear. "Sandra Bullock Oscar Buzz." I hear it's a real crowd pleaser. So are people being gored during the run of the bulls in Spain. Now, if I could go see Sandra Bullock get gored by a bull, I might get myself a large buttered popcorn.
It's Complicated: A romantic comedy with Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin. But the title alone is bothersome enough. Word of advice: don't name your movie with something that can be used as a gag in a critic's review. "Mr. X, what did you think of the plot?" "Well, it's complicated."
Me and Orson Welles: I had high hopes for this. Word of mouth tells me I was overly optimistic. I hear it's as dull as dirt. Plunk down your $10.50 and watch old paint peel. I can do that in a tenement for nothing.
Did You Hear About The Morgans?: Yes, I did. They're horrible.
My Son, My Son, What Have You Done: A man slays his mother with a sword. Now that what's I call Christmas!
Nine: Director Rob Marshall hoping to recapture "Chicago" magic. But, the advance buzz is not good. And it got a bunch of Golden Glove nominations which is a bad sign since those Foreign Press correspondents don't speak English. But, it's a musical and Sophia Loren is in it for about five minutes. No complaints here.
Invictus: As I wrote last month, I'm tortured about this one. I tend to see anything Clint Eastwood directs. But, this is some dreary true story about that idiot Nelson Mandela and some soccer player played by Matt Damon, who never fails to wear his liberalism on his sleeve. Plus it's got Morgan Freeman and it's been, what, two weeks since his last movie. I'll probably see it, but I'll hate myself in the morning.
The Lonely Bones: Peter Jackson directs some pathetic mess about a little girl who falls victim to a serial killer. Now that's what I also call Christmas. The reviews were awful and that's probably a good thing.
The Young Victoria: Queen Victoria in her first, turbulent year of reign. I'm asleep by the second reel.
A Single Man: Good buzz about some gay guy who considers suicide. And, of course, there were also "colored women who considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf." I have no idea what that joke means, but it's the end of the year and this blog is running on fumes.
Everybody's Fine: Robert DeNiro reconnecting with his family. I saw it last week in New York. Everybody's just so-so.
The Road: I saw this as well in New York last week and I was disappointed to learn that Dorothy Lamour was not in it. It's an incredibly depressing tale about the end of the world. Stay home and simply watch Katie Couric.
Precious: I am awaiting the award season when we will see dumbbells fawn over this mess with false praise. I still contend it should be viewed as a comedy with a laugh track.
An Education: I got around to this one fairly early. I think I liked it, but I can't remember a single frame of the film. Not a good sign for Oscar voters who have an even shorter attention span.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm a big fan of the detective and Robert Downey Jr., in that order. Unlike Michael Jackson, I'll be there. Up In The Air: After my rave review, you still haven't seen it??? I'm already prepping my second look. The best film of the year and maybe the decade. The early Oscar favorite. Run, don't walk. Even better, fly. Get it? Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel: Some poison and a broom is all we need. Crazy Heart: No clue except the ad features Jeff Bridges playing a guitar. So, if you've been anxiously awaiting the opportunity to hear Jeff Bridge play a guitar, this just may be your movie. Fantastic Mr. Fox: Still lurking around the multiplex woods. And I'm still staying home. Broken Embraces: Penelope Cruz in something Spanish. Or perhaps it should be something Spanish in Penelope Cruz. I'm thinking you can see the whole film simply by standing in line at the DMV. 2012: Been there, vomited that. Perfectly awful in any year. New Moon: I thought "twilight" was another word for "local anesthesia." And somewhere in that sentence is a perfect description for this movie.
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