If I Tweeted - October 2011

I don't.  But, if I did, this is what I would have wrote this month.

#LenSpeaks  Am I the only one who thinks that new Martin Luther King monument in Washington DC looks like what they did to Han Solo at the end of "Empire Strikes Back?"

#LenSpeaks  Sean Penn is talking about the Tea Party being racist.  Susan Sarandon says the Pope is a Nazi.  I guess their movie should have been called "Brain Dead People Talking."

#LenSpeaks  Does anybody really care about the political opinions of a celebrity?  

#LenSpeaks  I love that Ann Coulter called those slobs protesting on Wall Street "the Flea Party."

#LenSpeaks  They're "occupying" Wall Street.  Most have done nothing in their lives except "occupy" their mothers' basements.  

#LenSpeaks  Now that Gaddafi is dead, how long before he gets his own show on MSNBC?

#LenSpeaks  Can we finally pin down the correct spelling of the Libyan dictator's name?  There are like 109 variations in the press.

#LenSpeaks  Possible courtroom irony:  Lindsay Lohan, working in the morgue, perhaps dealing with some of Dr. Conrad Murray's dead patients.

#LenSpeaks  Hey, Aretha Franklin, I know you're sick and all, but that didn't even remotely sound like the National Anthem. Hasn't the city of Detroit endured enough? 

#LenSpeaks  I saw "9-9-9" in the press and I thought it was an unassisted triple play by a rightfielder.

#LenSpeaks  Can the press stop with the stupid headlines about Herman Cain?  "Cain Raises in Polls."  "Herman Tries to Prove Cain is Able."  Please make them stop.

#LenSpeaks  Is there anything more stupid than the "bye week" during the NFL season?  Indeed, the National Football League always seems to get a "bye" when it comes to being shown as greedy in the media.

#LenSpeaks  Who made the rule that newspaper puzzles had to be easiest on Mondays and hardest on Fridays?  Please let me know.

#LenSpeaks  The liver-spotted mess that is Morgan Freeman is another one of those actors who needs to keep his big bazoo shut about politics.  A year without seeing his ugly mug in a movie trailer?  That would be on my bucket list.

#LenSpeaks  The guy that killed Gaddafi was wearing a Yankee hat.  If a Phillie fan had gotten a hold of the dictator, he would have been dead three years ago.

#LenSpeaks  President Obama makes another fundraising visit to Los Angeles and destroys traffic across the street.  Usually, this is called a Sig Alert.  What can we call it now?  Wink wink.

#LenSpeaks  Go to Texas and people hate Rick Perry.  Go to Massachusetts and people hate Mitt Romney.  What does that say to you?

#LenSpeaks  I wonder if Cardinal manager Tony LaRussa gets paid by the pitching change.

#LenSpeaks  Since when do hotels not put out writing pads and pens?  How cheap can you get?

#LenSpeaks  I was in Boston 25 years to the day that the Red Sox imploded against the Mets in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.  To commemorate the event, I will walk the street aimlessly like a zombie.

#LenSpeaks  While in LA, Obama got takeout food from Roscoe's Chicken N'Waffles.  Please insert your own joke here.

#LenSpeaks  That last line should be in a book that shows how to write the most perfect cliche.

#LenSpeaks  I thought the President's battle ax said we have to eat healthy.  Roscoe's is a heart attack with gravy.

#LenSpeaks   I passed by Occupy Boston.  Jerks in tents.  The way these protests will stop?  Snow and overnight temps below 32 degrees.

Dinner last night:  I was on a plane so a turkey sandwich courtesy of Boston's American Airlines Admirals Club.