Shoes of the Phisherman

A show of hands, please.

Did you all sign up for that national "Do Not Call" list a few years back?

Uh-huh.

Another show of hands, please.

Are you all still getting as many telemarketing calls as before?

Yeah, I thought so.

And, despite the many ways we can take to protect our privacy and livelihoods, are you still getting scammed as much as ever?

Yeah. me, too.

We can protect ourselves and protect ourselves and protect ourselves.  Yet, the scum out there continues to "phish" in our personal ponds.

I've written before of some trouble that happened to my private banking accounts.  Over one five-year period, both my writing partner and I had our checking accounts compromised a grand combined total of seven times.  That is unimaginable.   Or is it?  Apparently not in this day and age, where people have seemingly gotten more resilient when it comes to being evil. 

More recently, there are e-mail scam versions of the bank account pilfering.  Because we are all now so conscious of having our finances hacked, the shitheads are now using that to create fake e-mail messages that look like they are coming from your bank.

But they are not.

I am getting one every month now.  It looks legit.  The e-mail has a logo of my banking institution and tells me that they think my account has been touched by an unauthorized user.  To ensure that I am who I say I am, the message tells me to click on a link and verify my identity with my Social Security number.

The first time this happened, I was immediately skeptical.  When you look at the wording of the e-mail and read it closely, you'll always find a clue.  Try reading it out loud.  You will discover that the prose sounds like it was written in a foreign country.  This test never fails. 

Of course, I did call my bank the first time and they alerted me that, if there was ever a problem with my account, they contact by phone and not e-mail.  And they have done just that in the past.  Now, whenever I get these e-mails, I simply forward them to the spam abuse contact that my bank gave me.

But, how many people out there get suckered?  Too many, I am thinking. 

Last week, I ran into a new one.

I was sitting quietly one night, watching the Dodger game.   So, when the phone rings, I'm immediately annoyed whether it be a friend or a stranger.

There was a long pause after I picked up.  There usually is when one of these crooks' computer systems random dials your number.  And then the voice, which was unmistakenly foreign.  I am guessing either Arabic or Indian.

"Allo.  This is Microsoft."

Really?  What's your last name, Microsoft?  I knew immediately this was a scam.

"Are you aware that your Windows system is sending us illegal messages?"

Er, if one of the messages is "go fuck yourself," I applaud my Windows system.  Meanwhile, I let the conversation go on a little longer just to play with this asshole's mind. 

"We can help you fix this problem, which is critical for the operation of your computer."

Gee, thanks so much. 

"I can send you a patch for this very critical problem.  $49.95." 

Boy, am I glad you called me.  And that's a reasonable price for such a critical problem.

"First I need your credit card please, thank you very much."

Okay, that will be a Discover card.  (PS, I don't have a Discover card.)  I read him some random numbers.

"And the name as it appears on the card, please, thank you very much."

Gee, it's a hard name, so let me spell it for you.

F-U-C-K....

He hung up.  I never got to the Y-O-U.

It made me feel better, but I then worried about the next call this sleazebag was going to make.  Perhaps to an older person who's already worried about their computer's slow performance.  And susceptible to this type of phone scam.

We can take all the protection we want.  But, somehow, they figure out newer and more horrible ways to get into our lives.  Until the day when none of us will come out from underneath our beds ever again.

Dinner last night:  Bobboli pizza with pepperoni.