If I Tweeted - August 2012

I don't.  But I am getting closer.  I actually have an account and I am trying to figure out how to link it to my Facebook account.  But, until I am fully operational, here's what I was thinking this month.

#LenSpeaks  I don't care how much or little Mitt Romney pays in taxes.  If he figured out some loopholes, that's what everybody does.

#LenSpeaks  Hell, that's what my accountant is instructed to do.  Cut my taxes.  It's the American way.

#LenSpeaks  Obama is proud that he's released his own taxes.  He has nothing to hide.  Nor did he ever have a real job.

#LenSpeaks  A real job doesn't consist of the sentence, "okay, we have two empty seats on the bus."

#LenSpeaks  Goodbye, Phyllis Diller.  There are combs in Heaven.

#LenSpeaks  Can you imagine her undertaker?  "Lord, where do I start?!"

#LenSpeaks  RIP Horshack or Ron Palillo.  Tough year for people on that old Kotter series.

#LenSpeaks  I mean, first Robert Hegyes.  Now Palillo.  And John Travolta caught cross-dressing.

#LenSpeaks  If they remade Saturday Night Fever today, would Travolta go up for the Donna Pescow part??

#LenSpeaks  Watching the Dodgers play Atlanta on TV and I still hear that damn tomahawk chop.  Twenty years later and that's all you got??

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, they're still doing the wave at Dodger Stadium.  Mostly started by drunk Mexicans who are waiting for Fernando to come out of the bullpen.

#LenSpeaks  Everytime Joe Biden opens his mouth, Dan Quayle feels a little bit better about himself.

#LenSpeaks  Am I the only one who remembers Biden had some crooked campaign finance issues back in the late 80s?

#LenSpeaks  Dummy Joe says the Republicans will put everybody back in chains?  Frankly, the real chain around all our ankles is the current White House.

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, a new book traces Michelle Obama back to slave roots.  Uh-huh.  Working all day long in a cotton field and somebody wants me to have a healthy snack??

#LenSpeaks  The good news about Obama being 24/7 on the campaign trail?  That means he's paying even less attention to screwing up the country.

#LenSpeaks  The loudmouth First Lady scolded poor little Olympic winner Gabi Douglas for eating an Egg McMuffin.  If Michelle really wants to wag her finger, try your local post office during lunch hour.

#LenSpeaks  I look at some of those slobs behind the counter at the post office and I realize their pensions are ten times bigger than mine.  That gets you an awful lot of barbecue sauce.

#LenSpeaks  I'm proud to announce that I didn't watch a single second of Olympic competition. 

#LenSpeaks   Anybody who thinks waterboarding is horrible torture didn't watch the closing ceremonies of this year's Olympics.

#LenSpeaks  The closing ceremonies did eventually end, right?

#LenSpeaks  Seven years to the day that Katrina hit, New Orleans got hit with another hurricane.  As the news media kept reminding us over and over and over...

#LenSpeaks  ...and over and over and over. 

#LenSpeaks  You just know that there's a couple of people in New Orleans who heard about Hurricane Issac and thought, "Good.  I need to upgrade the Hi-Def TV I looted during Katrina."

#LenSpeaks  NJ Governor Chris Christie reminds me of Jackie Gleason.  Watching him speak before the Republican Convention, I was waiting for him to yell "and away we go."

#LenSpeaks  If you're going to get your political convention update by watching Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert, you are officially an idiot.

#LenSpeaks  And lose your right to vote in any election.

#LenSpeaks  If Ann Romney is a privileged corporate wife, what the hell is Michelle Obama??

#LenSpeaks  After all, she got into Princeton on a grant.

#LenSpeaks  Her one and only job was created by government funds.

#LenSpeaks  She travels with a full time hair stylist.   And goes all over the world on your and my dime.   

#LenSpeaks  If Ann Romney is a corporate wife, Michelle Obama is Imelda Marcos.    

Dinner last night:  The wonderful pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.