If I Tweeted - July 2014

I don't, you know.   But, if I did, this is what I would have tweeted this month.

#LenSpeaks  It's the Fourth of July and why do we all seem to be a little less free these days?

#LenSpeaks  America is over two hundred years old and the only thing still intact from the founding fathers is that dogs still get scared of fireworks.

#LenSpeaks  Enjoyed a July 4 concert with Steve Martin and his banjo band.  First time I ever saw him perform without a balloon on his head.

#LenSpeaks   Record killings over the holiday weekend in the south side of Chicago.  They must really need a good community activist.

#LenSpeaks   Me:  It's a summer Friday.  Take the rest of the day off.  Me:  Okay.

#LenSpeaks   The Mideast is on fire.  Again.   Maybe they really need a good community activist.

#LenSpeaks   Maybe it's the word "ham" in Hamas that bothers Israel?

#LenSpeaks   By the way, if you're Jewish and pro-Israel and you voted for Obama, please explain your vote.

#LenSpeaks   Does the President ever have dinner and it's not a fund raising event??

#LenSpeaks   Arrived in JFK for a NY visit.  Saw lots of young adults going on vacation.  Gee, when I was in college, my father made me get a summer job.

#LenSpeaks   Lightning strikes all over the NY area.  And I'm out in the middle of the Long Island Sound on a boat.   With a metal rod sticking out of it.

#LenSpeaks   I'm always astounded in NY that drivers don't pull over to the side when an ambulance or fire truck is coming.

#LenSpeaks   24 ends with 12 episodes.  If Keifer Sutherland gets any older, the next one will be over in 24 minutes.

#LenSpeaks   Can Jack Bauer become our President?   Please.

#LenSpeaks   The Obamas are headed for a long vacation again.   Or essentially continuing the one that started on January 20, 2009.

#LenSpeaks  They'll be spending it on Martha's Vineyard.   With all those one percenters they hate.

#LenSpeaks   Meanwhile, their post-WH residence will be in Palm Springs.  All those old and rich people must need a good community activist.

#LenSpeaks   The good news is that there's really only two main streets in Rancho Mirage for them to snarl traffic on.

#LenSpeaks   On my flight back to LA, there is a Mexican tour group.  25 people all wearing the same Niagara Falls t-shirt.   Complete with a tour guide equipped with a clown horn.

#LenSpeaks  Everybody on my flight sounds like Bill Dana.   You'll only get that joke if you're over 45.

#LenSpeaks   Our borders are being flooded with illegal immigrants.   There's not enough car washes and unmowed lawns to handle the crowd.

#LenSpeaks   Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi quotes Jesus when she says these children should not be turned away.

#LenSpeaks   I love these politicians who quote the Scriptures but then promote abortion.  Which Pelosi does.  

#LenSpeaks   I've got an idea.  Why don't we send all these illegals up to SF and let them work at Pelosi's million dollar winery?

#LenSpeaks  Only in America.  A bum is panhandling in a super market parking lot.  Thirty minutes later, he's on the checkout line with me buying whiskey.

#LenSpeaks  On a Dodger broadcast, Vin Scully referenced a busy signal.   Remember what that is?

#LenSpeaks  For all those who are talking about an Obama impeachment, I have two scarier words.   President Biden.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich and salad.