Black Comic Book Heroes Matter

Unless you were living in another galaxy a couple of weekends back, you know that pretty much everyone in the free world went to see "Black Panther."  It made a shitload of money.  There are rumors that it cured the sick and healed the lame.   Several moviegoers rose from the dead by the end.  And, if you can believe it, the website "Rotten Tomatoes" proclaimed it the greatest movie ever to be made.

Okay, that last news item is what prompted me to see for myself.   No dummy am I.   I went to a bargain matinee just in case I saw what I expected to see.

And I did see just that.   In spades.   No pun intended.

"Black Panther" comes from the Marvel comic of the same name and I must confess to have never read it.   I don't think that makes much of a difference since the socially-conscious Hollywood in 2018 got hold of the story and put their very special diverse spin on it.  Indeed, this just might be the movie event that has the diversity initiative jump the proverbial shark.   Yep, it's that dumb and silly.

The subtitle for "Black Panther" should be "It's A Black, Black, Black, Black World" because every African-American actor in the SAG directory is in it.  If you're Black and you didn't get work on this production, you should fire your agent.  It's a veritable Who's Who as if the Love Boat docked in Compton.   Oh, look, there's Angela Bassett.   Hey, it's Forest Whitaker.   Isn't that Lupita N'yongo?  Oh, wow, there's the guy from "Get Out" whose name I forget.   The only one missing is Marla Gibbs who must have had a head cold.

This comic book concoction comes from the mind and the computer of Ryan Coogler, who is the new Spielberg as far as Hollywood is concerned.   He's already made a mess of two movies....the overblown "Fruitvale Station" and the absolutely dreadful "Creed."   I know.   I was curious to see those two myself as well.  And, as he keeps getting work, it's apparent that the dopes out here love his self-conscious and pretentious preaching.   A Marvel Comics movie should be nothing but fun and entertaining.   Even here now we are subjected to preaching and the shoving of ideologies down our throats.  Enough already.

There is some form of a plot here that I will share if I can stop giggling.   We're in the African nation of Wakanda which apparently is the most perfect and technologically advanced place on Earth.  Uh huh.   The king of it all is T-Challa "Black Panther" and he's played by the same guy who was Jackie Robinson in "42."  The difference between the two movies is that, in "42," he was surrounded by overweight White guys and here he's leading an army of bald Black women.  Hmmm.  As smart as the folks in Wakanda are, they apparently haven't figured out that excessive lye treatments can kill hair follicles.

Whatever.   

There's some sort of power struggle between Black Panther and some kid imported from Oakland, California (????!!!!).   Suddenly, Coogler starts to shoot pages from the Oakland-centric "Fruitvale Station" using the same actor now as a character whose street name is "Killmonger."   Coogler has used the same guy, Michael B. Cooper, in all his films, so apparently he's a good luck charm.   Cooper should hold onto this contact because he's probably one of the worst actors ever to appear on screen.

Well, what follows is about two hours of mostly bald Black chicks kicking the shit out of each other.   Finally, justice prevails and Wakanda is safe.   Black Panther heads off to Oakland to try and improve the urban blight there.   Yeah, good luck.  This is all accompanied with some of the worst CGI ever on screen, as if it's some sixth grade class project.  Tell me that the fight on top of the waterfall looks even remotely authentic.  Ugh.  Thank goodness that the end credits finally show up.

But, wait, there's more.   A new scene pops up.   Black Panther is speaking before the United Nations, telling everybody we really are all one people and we need to stick together.  "Now more than ever."   Ha ha.   It took Coogler over two hours but he finally got in a shot on Donald Trump.  Woot woot.

In all seriousness, we now have come way too far with this push for diversity.  The very next day, I watched a movie on TCM from 1965 called "A Patch of Blue."   It was about a bi-racial romance between Sidney Poitier and a blind girl.  It was touching and more representative of where we are as a nation than anything Ryan Coogler will ever dream up.

Yep.  Shark.  Jumped.

LEN'S RATING:  One-half star.

Dinner last night:  Pasta with meat sauce.