A lot can happen in five years. Or not. Again, here we sit with movie theaters essentially closed. Those that are open across the country are playing flicks nobody has heard of. So, until the time where our cages are opened, I continue to go back in time and run Weekend Movie Guides of the past. Like five years ago, for instance.
As for the fare in local theaters this weekend, count me skeptical. Yes, there are the Oscar nominated films. But also...tons and tons of crap. You know the drill, boys and girls. I'll skim through the LA Times entertainment pages and give you my knee-jerk reaction to what's playing at the local trash heaps.
Meanwhile, I can't wait to see that chariot race again.
Creed: Blog review coming. A movie that gets counted out in the second round.
Carol: On my list to see as there are multiple Oscar nominations. But people I know who have seen it...well...the word is not positive.
Brooklyn: Reviewed here recently. Should really be titled "Ireland."
The Big Short: Reviewed here just the other day. A good movie that will make you want to put your life savings underneath your mattress.
Bridge of Spies: I missed this because it was released when I fractured my knee cap. Trying to get a screener since friends have told me how good it is.
Concussion: Blog review coming. Spoiler alert: Will Smith still can't act.
The Danish Girl: Is it me or are there now too many trans gendering stories?And why did this site just tell me that I misspelled that word?
The Hateful Eight: It's Quentin Tarantino so I supposed the word "hateful" fits.
13 Hours: The movie the Clintons don't want you to see. Bill and Hillary will be next door watching "Sisters."
The Revenant: I hear it's not exactly an episode of "Paddington Bears."
Ride Along 2: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Ken Jeong, and Definitely Not Me.
Point Break: So I guess it's time to remake Keanu Reeves movies?
Star Wars - The Force Awakens: How was the box office for this?
Joy: Blog review coming. A movie totally driven by the lead performance.
Room: Blog review coming. God, I have these reviews stacked up like LaGuardia Airport on a Friday night.
In the Heart of the Sea: A rare Ron Howard bust. Probably showing on United Airlines already.
Spotlight: I still think this will win Best Picture next month.
Trumbo: I hear it's only worth going to see Bryan Cranston's performance.
Youth: Michael Caine makes a movie a week.
The Lady in the Van: It's got Maggie Smith as a cranky old lady. Such out-of-the-box casting.
The Martian: The Golden Globes had it up for Best Comedy or Musical???!!!
Mustang: I hear it's about neither a horse or a convertible.
Son of Saul: Is this anything like "Son of Godzilla?"
45 Years: Charlotte Rampling is Oscar-nominated for this lady in a troubled marriage. Screener please.
The Good Dinosaur: Obviously not a raptor.
Anomalisa: One of those creepy adult-oriented cartoons. Paging Fred and Wilma.
Dirty Grandpa: Robert DeNiro is the American version of Michael Caine. He also makes a movie a week.
The Abandoned: A single mom works as a night security guard. So I guess her children at home are the title of the movie?
Exposed: Every politician running for President in 2016.
Anesthesia: A great name for a movie if it's very boring.
The Benefactor: Richard Gere is a secretive guy who becomes entwined with a young couple. Seriously, that's the logline. It says nothing to me.
Daddy's Home: This world is still not free of Will Ferrell or ISIS.
Krampus: What you get when the back of your leg hurts and you can't spell.
Sisters: I have it on good authority that this Tina Fey/Amy Poehler film is a toxic spill.
Norm of the North: A cartoon about a friendly polar beat who goes to NY. "The Revenant Goes to Manhattan."
Dinner last night: Salad.
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