Just Another Wednesday in Eyjafjallajokull

Say it again, everybody. Eyjafjallajokull.

---Again.

---Eyjafjallajokull.

---And that's Icelandic for "boy, those airline fares are going to go up."

---I'm looking at that picture again. And I thought my mother smoked a lot?

---I don't think she grounded any flights during her lifetime. Although she did ground me repeatedly.

---How many Democrats have blamed this on George Bush?

---Like he and Laura were down on their Texas ranch doing a pagan volcano dance?

---With all that fire and smoke, Al Gore's mansion still generates more energy.

---So, all this shit in the air turns into that glass-like substance called silica.

---And now I'm wondering who is in charge of taking that silica and putting it in those little cloth packets we find when we open up new small appliances.

---Right now, European tourists can't fly here. And, as far as I'm concerned, that's a good thing.

---Since this is an act of God, your travel insurance is no good here.

---Just like Van Heflin when he blew up the plane in "Airport."

---This smoky crap prevented Obummer from leaving the country to go to that dead Polish President's funeral. And, as far as I'm concerned, that's a bad thing.

---Obummer leaving the country, I mean. I really have no opinion one way or the other on the Polish President.

---That gave POTUS time to come out to LA and attend a fund raising dinner for Barbara "I Look Like A" Boxer.

---Meal for two? $35,000.

---Without tax and tip. And you didn't get to pick from the dessert cart.

---When a candidate hears that Obama is going to campaign for you, isn't the first thing you hear "oh, God, please, no!"

---Meanwhile, how stupid do you feel right now if you're Jewish and you voted for Obummer?

---And, how stupid do you feel right now if you're gay and you voted for Obummer?

---One more time. How stupid do you feel if you work for Goldman Sachs and contributed lots of money to get Obummer elected?

---Pretty stupid, I guess.

---And pretty stupid, I guess.

---And, one more time...pretty stupid, I guess. But, then again, you folks at Goldman Sachs are crooks, too.

---A funny stat about people who attend "tea parties?" Almost a quarter of them voted for Obummer.

---Yeah, a racist would have pulled the lever for him, right?

---Just thinking out loud: Sandra Bullock and Larry King? Both available.

---She could do a lot worse. On second thought, no, she couldn't.

---What gets bounced more? Larry King out of his marriages or checks that he himself writes?

---So, let me get this right. Something that surprises Roger Ebert will no longer make his jaw drop?

And one last time! Eyjafjallajokull!!!!

Dinner last night: Turkey, bacon, and swiss on pumpernickel from Clementine's.

And tomorrow from the other side...of the country, that is.