Here's a terrific vintage photo of Westwood's Fox Village Theater, which is a glorious movie palace. Recently, it almost closed, but a new owner will keep its doors open. The place is close to my house and I should visit it more often. The only problem is that it usually plays whatever is the latest blockbuster action flick that appeals only to the brainless.
Moving on, here's my monthly public service to you. I'll flip through the Los Angeles Times movie section and provide you with my kneejerk reactions to all the celluloid crap out there. Enjoy. As for me, I'll be spending the weekend at Dodger Stadium and the Hollywood Bowl for an Eagles concert.
Date Night: I think you have to be a big fan of Steve Carell and Tina Fey to enjoy this mess. I am not. I will be dateless at home.
Clash of the Titans: A needless remake that was a terrible movie the first time around. This is another one in 3-D, which means you can be thoroughly bored and get a splitting headache at the same time.
Alice in Wonderland: I saw it in 3-D and the splitting headache just went away. The movie held my interest only slightly better than my bladder held the extra large Diet Pepsi.
The Greatest: Ever want to know what "Ordinary People" would be like if it had been written by a third grade class? If so, this crud's for you. Pierce Brosnan has this climactic crying scene and I wonder if the acting motivation for his tears was the director showing him a picture of his fat wife in a bathing suit.
City Island: If the characters in this dysfunctional family comedy don't make a visit to the Black Whale ice cream parlor, then this is not an authentic movie.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Discussed this in the March movie guide. I hate body art. I think it's gross and does longterm damage to your skin. And I will announce that every single month that this movie remains in circulation.
Green Zone: I'll follow the conservation theme and save my money.
Why Did I Get Married, Too?: If Larry King was in this, would the title be "Why Did I Get Married, Eight?"
A Prophet: Supposedly a decent foreign film, but I'm kind of burnt out seeing stuff about how folks from the Mideast are so oppressed. Hopefully, the title character will be able to predict that I won't be in the audience.
Kick-Ass: You're kidding, right? No, seriously. You're joking? Really?
Death at a Funeral: Chris Rock is in this ensemble comedy and I generally like his work. Besides, the trailer looked damn funny and politically incorrect. That's a surefire way to get into my wallet.
The Perfect Game: Based on a true story. How Mexico won the Little League World Series. With no players under the age of 20.
Dancing Across Borders: A documentary about a Cambodian ballet dancer trying to make it in the US. That's a surefire way to get me into a coma.
Handsome Harry: An ex-Navy guy tries to solve a longstanding crime. Steve Buscemi co-stars and thank goodness nobody's cast him in a 3-D movie yet.
The Cartel: A documentary about how the educational system in America is not turning out any smart kids. You need a movie to tell people that our country is stupid? I do it in this blog every single Wednesday. And I don't charge you ten bucks for admission. Yet.
Who Do You Love?: A look at the founders of Chess Records. Sorry, no Larry King joke available at this time.
Exit Through the Gift Shop: A documentary about this graffiti artist in Britain. I'd question why our society continually glorifies vandalism, but then again, have you noticed what's going on in Washington these days?
Hot Tub Time Machine: I know, I know, I know. You saw it because I gave it a good review in this blog and you hated it. I never said this was a perfect venue. You get what you pay for. And, as noted above, I don't charge you ten bucks for admission.
Greenberg: Ben Stiller in the title role. Er, you were expecting Roberto Benigni?
How To Train Your Dragon: To do what specifically? Because, in my world, a dragon can do anything he damn well pleases.
The Bounty Hunter: It's a Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy. Run, run. As fast as you can. Run! Before it kills again!! The Joneses: Demi Moore and David Duchovny in some cynical comedy about suburbia. They think they're cynical? They should have tried growing up in Mount Vernon. Women Without Men: It's usually because they can't stop yapping. The Last Cyrus: A Miley Cyrus tearjerker. Many of us are in tears wondering how this got made in the first place. Letters to God: Waiting for the atheist's sequel. "Address Unknown." Dinner last night: German cold cuts and salad.
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