My Mother Rhonda Fleming

Or so I wish.

I would say that Rhonda Fleming was my first celebrity crush. And I was probably nine or ten years old at the time.

Was I a particularly horny youngster? Nah.

I didn't want Rhonda Fleming to be my girlfriend. I wanted her to be my mother.

This blog will now pause for ten seconds so you can roll your eyes.

Blame it all on our new color television. And NY's WOR Channel 9 which ran "Million Dollar Movie."

When that hulky Zenith console first made its appearance in our home, we'd watch anything and everything in color. Just because it wasn't in black and white. Our household became TV junkies. And I was the biggest addict of all. Even the early morning test pattern looked damn color in shades of red, blue, and green.

So, when the in-glorious-Technicolor "Big Circus" landed on "Million Dollar Movie," it was just one more thing for me to gobble up. A nifty movie with hues that jumped out and caressed your eyes. And the WOR-TV format for "Million Dollar Movie" lended to repeat viewings. You see, they ran the same movie over and over for an entire week. Once a night and then all day Saturday and Sunday.

I watched "The Big Circus" every single time. And reveled in this neat red-headed lady Rhonda Fleming playing circus publicist Helen Harrison.

Who was this woman? She had it all together. She was smart. She was funny. She knew her job. She was in complete control. Looks were secondary as far as I was concerned.

Wouldn't it be neat for me to bring her into school on Parent-Teacher Night? Wouldn't Miss Lipsius, my homeroom teacher, be impressed when Rhonda Fleming came in to discuss how well I was doing with arithmetic?

In retrospect, I realize now that I was essentially dissing my own mother with this fervent wish that I had been adopted elsewhere. Of course, she didn't have the flashy red hair, but Mom wouldn't exactly give you a stye either.

Yet, still....Rhonda Fleming! Making my Taylor Ham sandwich and laying out exactly five pimento-stuffed olives for lunch? How neat that would be for little goofy me?

It's not like I followed Miss Fleming's career elsewhere. I don't think I saw her in anything else. It was simply how she was and looked in that single circus yarn that made me quiver. In a kid sort of way.

Of course, "The Big Circus" disappeared from sight for years and years after that. So, even if I wanted to turn my Rhonda Fleming love into Rhonda Fleming lust, it wasn't available for me to revisit. The movie never really got to VHS or DVD, a fact that I even discussed with one of its co-stars, Kathryn Grant Crosby, a few years back. Ultimately, Warner Brothers released it on DVD as part of their new archive store.

And Rhonda Fleming looks just as good to me now as she did when I wanted her to tuck me decades ago.

So, when I learned that Miss Fleming herself was going to be making an appearance at the Egyptian Theater's annual Film Noir festival, I just had to go and see her in-person.

At last. And, as a result, I finally saw her act in another movie. Some sultry little yarn called "Cry Danger" with Dick Powell.

Afterwards, she did the usual Q & A and signed some autographs. My digital camera and I got up close. She obviously still looks remarkable.

My friend suggested that I ask her to pose with me for a photo. And then I could explain to her that, as a child, I had wanted her to be my mother.

I didn't bother.

That would have provided a reason for somebody to call theater security. And fast.

I went home without a true Rhonda Fleming connection.

I realized that one mother had been more than enough for my lifetime.

Dinner last night: Grilled chicken and broccoli pasta salad.