TV The Way It Used to Be

I've become just like my parents and my grandparents.

I am too often now fondly remembering things the way they used to be. I hate most current movies. I despise most current TV shows. Music on commercial radio? Dreadful and I don't know a Gwen Stefani from a Lady Gaga, realizing that the latter may or may not be the alleged spirit of Andy Kaufman.

Yep, I am stuck. Somewhere around 1986 and the Mets won the World Series that year so there are worse places to be mired. I'm recalling the days when Donna Mills was being bitchy on "Knots Landing," William Daniels was being nasty on "St. Elsewhere," and Larry Hagman was being Larry Hagman on "Dallas."

And sitcoms were half-hours you spent laughing. Sure, they all looked alike. Shot with three or four cameras. Filmed in front of a giddy and live studio audience. With actors that you knew and liked. And, as in my case with Valerie Bertinelli, loved.

So, for all the reasons and paragraphs above, it should be no surprise that I was drawn to "Hot in Cleveland," the usually rerun-laden TV Land's first foray into producing an original scripted program. It was pegged as a comedy geared for the over-35 age group. Shot with three or four cameras. Filmed in front of a giddy and live studio audience. With actors that I knew and liked. And, as in my case with the show's star, Valerie Bertinelli, loved.

Years later, I am back where I belong. And, TV Land, please note that I predicted this. Oh, not this particular series. But, I knew five years ago that you were going to try and produce sitcoms for this very specific demographic. Namely, me.

A half decade ago, we (meaning me, a producer/director friend, and my writing partner) decided that one of our sitcom projects was perfect for TV Land when the day came for them to produce their own stuff. We put a pitch together and it was prefaced by a personal note of introduction from our friend, "I Love Lucy" creator and writer, Madelyn Pugh Davis.

I doubt they even looked at it. Instead, TV Land started to produce a lot of original reality junk. Complete garbage.

Until "Hot in Cleveland." The type of show that I saw them doing five years ago. Indeed, just like me, this show is stuck in the past. 2010, please meet and embrace 1986 all over again.

Is "Hot in Cleveland" groundbreaking? Hell, no. Is the premise new? Hell, no. Essentially, the logline is pretty simple. I can hear the pitch meeting now.

"Let's do the Golden Girls again, but we make them younger and hotter. And let's throw Betty White in there for more symmetry because we all know she'll work solely on the promise of getting a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch at the commissary."

Or something like that.

The producers of "Hot in Cleveland" set out to cook you a weekly meal of meat loaf and macaroni & cheese and that's okay with me. Because they do a damn good job with it and they throw in some rice pudding as well. Okay, it's not rice pudding that's Horn & Hardhart quality (more good memories for me), but it's darn tasty nevertheless.

The premise of the show is old, tired, creaky, and perfect. Three middle aged female friends from LA decide to relocate to Cleveland and live together in a house where Betty White is the pot-smoking landlady. Bingo. You have a series. It works because the producers had the good sense to cast some actors that you already have a TV history with. You know what you're going to get and that's just peachy fine with me.

Valerie (I'm fantasizing again about being on a first name basis) plays a mother with college aged kids and she is looking for a change in her life. Admittedly, I'd watch her read a car insurance policy. But, here, Valerie (there's that first name basis again) plays the straight woman and does it wonderfully.

Jane Leeves plays a sexed-up version of Daphne from "Frasier" as Joy, the former "Eyebrow Queen of Hollywood," and she boasts Ryan Seacrest as a client. Meanwhile, Wendie Malick is in tow, playing a former soap opera actress diva who looks and sounds amazingly like the magazine model diva character she used to play on "Just Shoot Me."

That's the point. All three gals are playing variations on former TV personae and that's exactly what we and I want. Granted I could finish most of the jokes before they even started them. There's a sense of familiarity to "Hot in Cleveland," but I don't give a shit. Even thought I was coming up with better punchlines, I was still laughing at both my gags and theirs. I've experienced worse TV half-hours in the past ten years. Much worse.

As mentioned earlier, Betty White has been thrown into this series at the very last minute as she's now hotter than Angelina Jolie. When in doubt, throw in a senior citizen to say something off-color. The only problem is that, as much as I love Betty's work on MTM and "The Golden Girls," she doesn't completely fit in here perfectly. Her intrusions into the scripts are just that. Intrusions. Unlike Estelle Getty as Sophie on "The Golden Girls," Betty pops in here and I groan. Not her fault. But when you got those other three hot numbers around the kitchen table, I'm more interested in what they have to say.

That's my nice way of saying, "Betty, it's okay to turn down work from time to time."

So, yes, I am still living in the past. At least for a half-hour every week, it's 1986 all over again. Bravo to TV Land for embracing your demographic.

And, if your network is looking to do more shows just like it, you might want to look around the file cabinets of some of your development executives. You might find this pitch.

"Let's combine the elements of Cheers and Murphy Brown and set the action on a...."

Yep, that would be ours. Your next great companion show to "Hot in Cleveland."

Dinner last night: Pepperoni pizza at the Dodger game.