Wide World of Wednesdays

Spanning the globe for nastiness and lunacy. Well, at least, in New York, Los Angeles, and at 37,000 feet in between.

---Just as we get to enjoy Charlie Rangel getting bounced from the House, we get a double scoop of ice cream on our sundae. It seems California's own Maxine Waters is also running afoul of the law.

---This old crow has been mouthing off for years with this holier-than-thou attitude. Well, Missy, it's time to pick up your checkerboard for the rest of your life.

---No wardrobe choice pleases me more than an orange jumpsuit on an elected official.

---Because, in prison, there are no political parties.

---When she became Fresser of the House, Nancy Pelosi said she was going to clean it up and "drain the swamp."

---Well, Leatherface, did you realize that "draining the swamp" was going to cut your AOL Buddy List in half?

---I really had no problem with Obama appearing on "The View." I mean you want to see like IQs debating like IQs on television.

---Jeez, I got tougher questions on my driver's test.

---Come on, those bags stopped just short of asking a sitting President "boxers or briefs."

---I never got the global e-mail. Just when did Barbara Walters get embalmed?

---Let's face it. All dignity left the Office of the President twenty years ago.

---You never saw Eisenhower appearing with Kukla, Fran, and Ollie, did you?

---Or JFK appearing on "Police Woman" with Angie Dickinson?

---Er, check me on that one.

---Truth be told, JFK appeared ON Angie Dickinson.

---If FDR was still around, he have been competing last weekend on ESPN's X Games.

---Wheelchair races.

---Yakking about ESPN, I once again had the misfortune of watching the Dodgers not play the Giants on Sunday Night Baseball.

---These announcers had the audacity to keep mentioning that the outfielders were dealing with a "ferocious sunfield."

---Here's one way to get rid of that. Cancel Sunday Night Baseball.

---Chelsea Clinton is off the market. Damn it.

---Er, check me on that one.

---She defied the adage that "all brides are beautiful."

---She didn't get either one of her parents' looks. But I do see a resemblance to James Carville.

---What was the Vegas over/under on whether Daddy Bill hooked up with a bridesmaid?

---And what was the Vegas over/under on whether Hillary hooked up with a bridesmaid?

---You just know that, at one point during the wedding weekend, Bill referred to his new son-in-law as a "fuckin' Hebe."

---That would be the liquor talking.

---It's now official: This blog gets more hits in a single day than the Dodgers got all last week.

---From the Rhetorical Question Department: During the seventh inning stretch, why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we're already there?

---Lindsay Lohan is back on the streets. All pedestrians, please look both ways when you're in a West Hollywood crosswalk.

---She got out of the hoosegow in less than two weeks. I've had driver ed classes that lasted longer.

---From the Absolute Moron Department: Some guy goes into an American Airlines restroom with a magazine and sits there for ten minutes.

---Yes, I timed him.

---Happy Birthday, President Obama!

---Forty nine years ago today, you were born in the quiet little town of...

---Gee, where was that again? You keep forgetting to tell us.

---What are all those knuckleheads on the other side of the aisle going to do when they find out Ronald Reagan was born in Belize.

---Talking about the Arizona immigration law, POTUS has said that some poor shlump can get stopped for his papers while taking his kids out for ice cream.

---Wouldn't it be funny if the real reason Obama is against this law is because he can't take his kids for ice cream in that state?

---When was the last time he visited Phoenix?

---Why would anybody? It's so hot.

Food for thought. And the food last night was...

Dinner last night: Mongolian Beef at PF Chang's.