Live from NY, it's Bedbug Live. While these things crawl around your mattresses, let's see what history has to say about this day.
668: EASTERN ROMAN EMPEROR CONSTANS II IS ASSASSINATED IN HIS BATH AT SYRACUSE, ITALY.
Well, at least they saved on the crime scene clean-up.
921: AT TETIN, SAINT LUDMILA IS MURDERED AT THE COMMAND OF HER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
The very first truly hated mother-in-law.
1254: ITALIAN EXPLORER MARCO POLO IS BORN.
Little did he know that he would also start a popular swimming pool game.
1616: THE FIRST NON-ARISTOCRATIC, FREE PUBLIC SCHOOL IN EUROPE IS OPENED IN FRASCATI, ITALY.
If this place is close to Pompeii, does that mean they get a "volcano day?"
1776: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTIONARY WAR, BRITISH FORCES LAND AT NEW YORK' KIPS BAY SECTION.
When did they move on to other telephone exchanges like Murray Hill and Bigelow?
1789: THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF STATE IS ESTABLISHED.
More jobs provided by the 1788 stimulus bill.
1812: THE FRENCH ARMY UNDER NAPOLEON REACHES THE KREMLIN IN MOSCOW.
Smart of them to make the trip before the winter weather comes in.
1821: GUATEMALA, EL SALVADOR, HONDURAS, NICARAGUA, AND COSTA RICA JOINTLY DECLARE INDEPENDENCE FROM SPAIN.
So when do they declare their independence from the United States?
1835: THE HMS BEAGLE, WITH CHARLES DARWIN, REACHES THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS.
I don't really give a shit except that the ship is named after my favorite breed of dog.
1851: SAINT JOSEPH'S UNIVERSITY IS FOUNDED IN PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.
The college that also brought you the baby aspirin.
1907: ACTRESS FAY WRAY IS BORN.
Which makes her 25 years old when she's fooling around with King Kong. Talk about peaking early.
1916: DURING WORLD WAR I, TANKS ARE USED FOR THE FIRST TIME AT THE BATTLE OF THE SOMME.
Despite many stateside "anti-tank" demonstrations.
1918: COMEDIAN NIPSEY RUSSELL IS BORN.
We salute September 15 in every way because Nipsey Russell was born this day.
1935: THE NUREMBERG LAWS DEPRIVE GERMAN JEWS OF CITIZENSHIP.
A big news day in Germany. See below.
1935: NAZI GERMANY ADOPTS A NEW NATIONAL FLAG WITH THE SWASTIKA.
So who was the marketing genius that came up with this logo?
1944: FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT AND WINSTON CHURCHILL MEET IN QUEBEC TO DISCUSS WAR STRATEGY.
And liquor was served. Lots and lots and lots of liquor.
1952: THE UNITED NATIONS GIVES ERITREA TO ETHIOPIA.
Who even knew that Eritrea was up for grabs? Did we miss out on a good deal or what?
1959: NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV BECOMES THE FIRST SOVIET LEADER TO VISIT THE UNITED STATES.
He was supposed to visit Disneyland, but backed out when he learned he might get wet on Splash Mountain.
1981: SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR BECOMES THE FIRST FEMALE JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES.
Years later, Ruth Bader Ginsburg becomes the first ugly female Justice of the Supreme Court.
1981: VANUATU BECOMES A MEMBER OF THE UNITED NATIONS.
Not to be confused with Xanadu, which did not become a member of the United Nations, but was a lousy movie nonetheless.
1998: MCI WORLDCOME OPENS ITS DOORS FOR BUSINESS.
And they haven't stopped calling in the middle of dinner ever since.
2007: MATCH GAME STAR BRETT SOMERS DIES.
"When Brett passed on, they decided to put in a ___________."
2008: LEHMAN BROTHERS FILES FOR CHAPTER 11.
And so ends John McCain's bid for President.
Dinner last night: Had a big lunch, so you'll never know what I would do for a Klondike Bar.
1 comment:
Did you warn Khrushchev about Splash Mountain?
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