Ice Cold in Cleveland

Well, that didn't take long. 

After a first season where "Hot In Cleveland" was wonderful retro-television, the horrible second season has once again shown us all that Hollywood has an innate ability to destroy anything it touches.    What was once refreshingly welcome has turned into a dreadful half-hour that is perched dangerously on my cliff above "Never Tape Again Valley."

What the hell happened?

I have some thoughts.

Personally, I couldn't have welcomed "Hot in Cleveland" more when TV Land first premiered it in June of 2010.  Oh, sure, it had Valerie Bertinelli and that always gets my attention.  But, even more, the type of old fashioned classic sitcom it represented gave hope to all of us codgers over the age of 40.  Not only was it steering away from the mindless humor that today's youth seems to relish, but "Hot in Cleveland" was virtually embracing the opposite demographics.  Certainly more hope than any Presidential candidate could give us.

The production values were there and the four stars are certainly no slouches when it comes to television sitcoms.  An added "Hot in Cleveland" was the delicious notion to bring back TV stars of the past for guest shots.  Tim Conway.  Carl Reiner.  Who gets better than this?

Of all TV shows coming back for another season, I was anxiously awaiting "Hot in Cleveland" more than any.

The first warning sign came for me during the second season premiere.  As the credits ran at the opening of the show, I noticed that the writing and producing staff had tripled. 

Uh oh. 

Less is definitely more. 

During its debut season, TV Land probably approached doing their own first-run sitcom as a "What the hell have we got to lose and let's not sink a lot of money into this" approach.  And the results were simply marvelous.

Now, flush with a hit, somebody was sinking some coin into the show, thinking that this makes it better.  In the case of "Hot in Cleveland," that's a resounding "no."  Everything I've seen in the first five or so episodes tells me that the show is now grossly over-written, over-produced, over-acted, and over-everything.  It's as bloated as your uncle Louie last Thanksgiving.

Even the guest stints, so magically surprising and welcome when the series first came on, now feel gratuitous and unnecessary.  Somebody brought in a crew of interior decorators to "tweak" the palace at Versailles.

So, they book Mary Tyler Moore for a reunion with Betty White in the second season opener.  This is promoted as early as two months before the premiere.  Yet, Mary's cameo appearance as a jailmate of Betty is played out in the first two minutes of the episode and amounts to nothing more than a replay of the old "You've got spunk" bit from the MTM Show of the 70s.  That's all they could come up with???  Gee, if I were the show runner, I would not have taken the opportunity in the most obvious direction.  With a writing staff now delighted to be doing this kind of work again, they actually should, well, do some work.

Episode two arrives and Bonnie Franklin comes in for a reunion with former TV daughter Bertinelli and they stick her with the role of some harpy with a Russian accent.  A horrible casting choice made even worse by Franklin's inability to speak with a Russian accent.

But, wait, there's more...

Last week in their sweeps stunt episode featuring Susan Lucci, the worst actress ever to win an Emmy award, the show opens with the gals talking to Peri Gilpin, formerly Roz on "Frasier."  Okay, I think.  A cute little reunion with Jane Leeves.  Except they never explain who she is or why she is even talking to the other four women.  Is she a friend?  Whose friend is she?  What's her name?  What's the purpose of it all?

Over and over and over, the mess keeps piling up.  Plotpoints that are ludicrous even for television situation comedy.  How the heck does Betty White wander onto the set of "Jimmy Kimmel Live" while it's on the air?  In my most surrealistic of creative thoughts, I couldn't begin to rationalize that moment. 

Amid all this fracas, there's the most important element that seems to have disappeared from "Hot in Cleveland" between Season One and Season Two.  Heart.  The four characters have all morphed into insult factories.  One nasty comment after another comes scurrying down the assembly line.  Even in its very last season on the air, those cheesecake-eating scenes on "The Golden Girls" still let us know that Rose, Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia truly loved each other.  The ladies from Cleveland?  You might as well be watching a garden club sponsored by the Third Reich.

It's sad to see "Hot in Cleveland" go downhill so quickly.  It didn't have to be like this.  Are there probably too many writers?  Yes.  Did TV Land jump on the over-saturation of marketing bandwagon?  Yes.  Is this an example of too much too soon?  Yes.

Will I keep on watching?  Probably yes. 

But it won't be the same.  Who knew that just last year would represent the long forgotten good ole days for "Hot in Cleveland?"

Dinner last night:  Grilled pork chops with chutney and broccolini.