Regular patrons here know that I myself participate in an annual competition with my good friends back east, Lorraine and Dennis. Our contest has already started with our prognostications of the major nominations. Heading into the awards on Sunday night, Dennis is one point ahead of me. I am one point ahead of Lorraine. Anything can happen and usually does when it comes to this nonsense.
Today, I tackle all the awards except the big six, which I will post tomorrow. In past years, these lesser Oscar categories are the ones that have decided our competition.
In no particular order...
Film Editing: If only I knew a film editor out here who could tell me what his colleagues are thinking. Everything this year seems to be a race between "The King's Speech" and "The Social Network." I am guessing this one cuts to the latter. THE SOCIAL NETWORK.
Art Direction: Len's rule of thumb? The film that most resembles hallucinations experienced during over-medication usually wins. ALICE IN WONDERLAND.
Costume Design: Len's rule of thumb? The film that most resembles hallucinations experienced during over-medication usually wins. ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Yes, gang, there's a pattern.
Make-Up: There are three nominees and two of them ("Barney's Version" and "The Way Back") didn't seem to do anything noteworthy in the face-painting department. Oh, look, the third nominee is "The Wolfman." Duh. THE WOLFMAN.
Visual Effects: These under-30 industry lunatics are dying to give "Inception" something even though the script and story was incoherent. But, who needs a tale that makes sense when you've got video game graphics that remind you of your childhood when you were playing X-Box in your friend's basement? INCEPTION.
Sound Mixing: One of two Oscar categories that I don't understand what it's even for. I don't go to a movie and come out thinking, "gee, they mixed that sound particularly well." Go with the noisiest. INCEPTION.
Sound Editing: The other of two Oscar categories that I don't understand what it's even for. I don't go to a movie and come out thinking, "gee, they edited that sound particularly well." Once again, opt for the loudest. INCEPTION.
Original Score: One of the nominees is "How to Train Your Dragon?" Okay, I am automatically dismissing that one since I am not ten years old. Of the others, "The Social Network" and "The King's Speech" stand out. The radio commercials for both movies contain the music and both have stayed in my head for weeks. Oooh, one is playing right now as I type this. THE KING'S SPEECH. See how scientific this can get.
Original Song: Whatever happened to movie songs that became hits? "Over the Rainbow." "Swinging on a Star." "Moon Freakin' River." I'm looking at the nominees this year and can't remember a single one of them. I'll go with the one from the only nominee I saw. Plus it's tough to ever bet against Randy Newman. "WE BELONG TOGETHER" FROM TOY STORY 3.
Animated Feature: And, speaking of which, the winner has to be TOY STORY 3. Hell, it's even nominated for Best Picture, so this is a dandy consolation prize. Probably one of the best movie releases in all of 2010. The competition is really weak. "The Illusionist" is some French nonsense pulled from an old Jacques Tati script and I never could understand why people think that jerk was so talented. "How to Train Your Dragon" is the other nominee, which I Netflixed and threw back into the red envelope after the first ten minutes. It was that stupid.
Live Action Short Film: Dennis and Lorraine always try to give themselves an advantage by going to see these things. Meanwhile, Len can't be bothered and will be content to simply guess. Looking at this year's titles, I don't see a single "Our Gang" short among them. Oh, well. I confess that I'm just shooting at fish in a barrel. Oh, look. The perfect choice for my state of mind. THE CONFESSION.
Animated Short Film: Not a Looney Tune to be found. Back in the 40s, Bugs Bunny cartoons used to get nominated all the time. There is a nominee from Pixar called "Day & Night," but I'm thinking animated voters will want to spread the wealth since they are already voting for "Toy Story 3" for the bigger prize. What the hell is THE GRUFFALO? I am betting we find out on Sunday night.
Documentary Short: Len's rule of thumb? Look for the one that is focused on either the Holocaust or Hurricane Katrina? Uh oh, not this year. Okay, Len's secondary rule of thumb? Look for the one that is set in the Mideast. Oh, good, two choices this year. "Strangers No More" is about a multi-ethnic school in Israel. Well, that doesn't sound too explosive. The other choice is "Killing in the Name." A Muslim suicide bombing? Hmm, how many terror cells are hiding in the Academy? I'm guessing a few. KILLING IN THE NAME.
Documentary Feature: Len's rule of thumb? Go with the one that bashes the right wing the most. Of the five nominees, I saw only "Restrepo" and there was nothing new I learned from this slice of Afghan War. Nope, the winner will be INSIDE JOB, which exposes all the fatcats who helped to cause the recent financial collapse. Meanwhile, many of the voters are the same fatcats who make tons of money at your expense. I sure wish they had nominated "Joan Rivers: A Piece of Mind" or even "Waiting for Superman." Documentaries that dared to take on subjects without political agendas.
Foreign Film: Len's rule of thumb? Pick the nominee from the country that least bothers me. Denmark's IN A BETTER WORLD.
Cinematography: All the good awards this year seem to be a race between "The King's Speech" and "The Social Network." Both are nominated here. But, who can deny how great the scenery looked in TRUE GRIT?
Original Screenplay: "Inception" was nominated? Shit, there were words in that movie? Hello? Anybody. The winner hands-down will be David Seidler for THE KING'S SPEECH.
Adapted Screenplay: No contest. Aaron Sorkin for THE SOCIAL NETWORK.
Come back tomorrow for my big Oscar finish.
Dinner last night: French dip at Barney's Beanery.
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