And, in other breaking news, scientists have determined that water is indeed wet.
In the ongoing saga of Sheen's almost minute-by-minute dalliances with booze, pills, and the hottest of the hottest porn stars working today, his latest escapades have closed down production of "Two and a Half Men" once again mid-season. Now I'm thinking Jon Cryer is now actually counting on this month-long vacation every January or February. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he booked a week in Hawaii as early as last October. There's one thing that's super-reliable about Charlie Sheen. He eventually winds up being extremely unreliable.
So now Sheen is rehabbing again and that really worked the other dozen times, didn't it? Just where he is seeking out this therapy? Costco? Rumor has it that he will do the rehab at his house. Huh? How hard will that be? Meanwhile, his antics and subsequent absence are costing CBS big bucks especially during February sweeps. But, beyond that, I'm thinking about all the other folks involved in the production of a weekly television show.
Oh, sure, there are the other actors, writers, and producers. The reliable workhorses and really the only reasons to still tune in the show, actresses Conchata Farrell and Holland Taylor, don't deserve to deal with this in their careers. They are longstanding professionals who have the good sense every day to work on their craft and that doesn't necessarily include a buxom stripper hanging from a ceiling fan.
I'm also thinking more about the common folk on the soundstage of a sitcom. I've been around one, so I know how many people it takes to screw in one of these multi-camera light bulbs. The camera guys. The lowly production assistants. The make-up and wardrobe people. The dude who keeps the buffet table full of Krispy Kreme donuts in the morning and Red Vines in the afternoon. The security guard who stands at the door to the stage and makes sure you've wearing the right color-coded sticker for the day.
All now out of work, thanks to Charlie Sheen's innate inability to go a complete week without at least one prostitute at the house.
Press reports speculate that perhaps executive producer Chuck Lorre might be at last losing patience with his star. Really??? From my vantage point, he's done the equivalent of tossing lit firecrackers at the people who were first responders at the World Trade Center. Indeed, Lorre's writers have simply taken Charlie's problems and virtually canonized them on the small screen.
I really stopped watching "Two and a Half Men" regularly a year ago. But, as I recently checked in briefly from time to time, I was aghast at what I found. The humor in the show had long turned me off with its now over-emphasis on the crude and the vile.
Yet, today, it seems that the writers have almost gleefully embraced Sheen's off-screen problems. Because the line was now blurred between Charlie off-camera and Charlie on-camera. How more ugly can it get? Suddenly, the producers are now Sheen's enablers as they try to find the humor in addictions to alcohol and sex. Shameful.
If Charlie Sheen is lucky, they will keep him locked away for anywhere from two and a half months to two and a half years. It might take that long to get him back on the straight and narrow. Do whatever it takes to save a human being.
Meanwhile, if the producers have any guts, they will take this time to refashion their show. There are pretty good actors in that company. Actually, when it comes to acting chops, Sheen's the worst of the bunch. Put those folks to work and see if you can come up with something that showcases their talents. Maybe it's time for Charlie Harper to go into rehab himself. Life imitating art imitating life. And, as a result, if there are five or six less penis jokes per episode, so be it.
It keeps the actors motivated. It keeps the crew working. And maybe even the audience laughing.
And, if, at the end of the day, America misses the excesses that are now both Charlie Sheen's and Charlie Harper's, we've got a bigger problem in this country than we think.
Dinner last night: New Orleans Shrimp at the Cheesecake Factory.
1 comment:
If my mother was still here, her verdict on Charlie Sheen would be: "What a louse." She'd be right.
Couldn't care less what the man does on his day off--coke, booze, hookers. And that's just breakfast. But he signed a contract, made a commitment to act on a series that employs lots of folks who can't afford to be "on hiatus."
They're not partying. They're paying a mortgage. They're not zonked out naked in luxury hotels. They're putting kids through schools with hefty tuitions.
Man up and sober up, Charlie. Finish your contract and then do whatever you want. You won't be missed.
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