1152: ANNULMENT OF THE MARRIAGE OF KING LOUIS VII OF FRANCE AND QUEEN ELEANOR OF AQUITAINE.
And you thought Frank Sinatra was the first to get an annulment?
1188: EMPEROR ANTOKU ACCEDES TO THE THRONE OF JAPAN.
Bringing along his puzzlement of a sister, Empress Sudoku.
1413: HENRY V BECOMES KING OF ENGLAND.
Three more Henrys before we get the one that's really a lot of fun.
1617: INDIAN POCAHONTAS DIES.
Heap big deal.
1788: A FIRE IN NEW ORLEANS LEAVES MOST OF THE TOWN IN RUINS.
Also blamed on George W. Bush.
1800: WITH THE CHURCH LEADERSHIP DRIVEN OUT OF ROME DURING AN ARMED CONFLICT, PIUS VII IS CROWNED POPE IN VENICE WITH A PAPAL TIARA MADE OUT OF PAPIER MACHE.
Thanks to a third-grade art class in Vatican City.
1804: CODE NAPOLEON IS ADOPTED AS FRENCH CIVIL LAW.
Every one has to walk around with one arm in their shirt.
1814: DURING THE NAPOLEONIC WARS, AUSTRIAN FORCES REPEL FRENCH TROOPS IN THE BATTLE OF ARCIS-SUR-AUBE.
Somebody cracked that code.
1844: THE BAHAI CALENDAR BEGINS AS CELEBRATED AS NEW YEAR'S DAY BY THE BAHAI FAITH.
Does this mean there's going to be a Bahai Tournament of Roses Parade?
1857: AN EARTHQUAKE IN TOKYO, JAPAN KILLS OVER 100,000.
All of them had crowded into one single commuter train.
1869: BROADWAY PRODUCER FLORENZ ZIEGFELD IS BORN.
Flo, for short. That's a playground fight waiting to happen.
1871: OTTO VON BISMARCK IS APPOINTED CHANCELLOR OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE.
When do we get to sink him?
1871: JOURNALIST HENRY MORTON STANLEY BEGINS HIS TREK TO FIND MISSIONARY DAVID LIVINGSTONE.
I presume.
1913: OVER 360 ARE KILLED AND 20,000 HOMES DESTROYED IN THE GREAT DAYTON, OHIO FLOOD.
I always wonder why the word "great" is used for natural disasters. Why not "horrible?"
1925: SYNGMAN RHEE IS REMOVED FROM OFFICE AFTER BEING IMPEACHED AS PRESIDENT OF KOREA.
After being caught with intern Monica Rewinsky.
1928: CHARLES LINDBERGH IS PRESENTED WITH THE MEDAL OF HONOR FOR THE FIRST SOLO TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT.
Ten years later, we were looking to get this back from the dirtbag.
1930: ACTOR JAMES COCO IS BORN.
With marshmallows, please.
1933: CONSTRUCTION OF DACHAU, THE FIRST NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP, IS COMPLETED.
And there was always a line to get in. For all the wrong reasons.
1943: WEHRMACHT OFFICER RUDOLF CHRISTOPH FREIHERR VON GERSDORFF PLOTS TO ASSASSINATE ADOLF HITLER BY USING A SUICIDE BOMB, BUT THE PLAN FALLS THROUGH. VON GERSDORFF IS ABLE TO DEFUNST THE BOMB IN TIME AND AVOID SUSPICION.
And there goes his chance to be a hero for life.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, BRITISH TROOPS LIBERATE MANDALAY, BURMA.
Years later, tourists from Oklahoma occupy the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas.
1946: THE LOS ANGELES RAMS SIGN KENNY WASHINGTON, MAKING HIM THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PLAYER IN THE NFL.
So, pro football was ahead of major league baseball??? Boy, this sure is an educational blog.
1962: ACTOR MATTHEW BRODERICK IS BORN.
Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
1962: ACTRESS ROSIE O'DONNELL IS BORN.
Shithead? Shithead? Shithead?
1963: FEDERAL PENITENTIARY ALCATRAZ CLOSES.
All those birds probably dumped too much crap on it.
1970: THE FIRST EARTH DAY PROCLAMATION IS ISSUED BY S.F. MAYOR JOSEPH ALIOTO.
How much paper was wasted on press releases announcing this nonsense?
1975: BASEBALL PLAYER JOE MEDWICK DIES.
That's just ducky.
1980: US PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER ANNOUNCES A BOYCOTT OF THE 1980 SUMMER OLYMPICS IN MOSCOW.
Okay, so there was one positive decision from this fool...
1980: ON THE SEASON FINALE OF TV'S "DALLAS," J.R. EWING IS SHOT.
And more people cared about this than the boycott of the Olympics.
1987: MUSICIAN DEAN PAUL MARTIN DIES.
Dino's son. Flew smack into a mountain.
1987: ACTOR ROBERT PRESTON DIES.
Now, you've really got trouble, my friend.
1989: SPORTS ILLUSTRATED REPORTS ALLEGATIONS TYING BASEBALL PLAYER PETE ROSE TO GAMBLING.
You betcha.
1994: ACTOR MACDONALD CAREY DIES.
And so goes the days of his life.
1994: ACTOR DACK RAMBO DIES.
J.R. Ewing's cousin dies of AIDS. In real life, not the show.
2005: ACTOR BARNEY MARTIN DIES.
Seinfeld's dad. On the show, not in real life.
2005: SINGER BOBBY SHORT DIES.
He came up....oh, never mind.
Dinner last night: Pepperoni pizza from Maria's Italian Kitchen.
No comments:
Post a Comment