One Person's Gold Is Another Person's...

...garbage.   And that's the mildest word I can use to describe "The Favourite," which might be one of the top biggest pieces of shit to ever be released to the movie going public.  It's even more mystifying because I actually have a few friends who recommended it to me.   I will not reveal their names here in order to protect them from the authorities.

First, a little blog housekeeping.   You know that I pretty much review all movies I see.   I try to run one review a week which means I have a few of them stockpiled and I tend to post them in the order I see them.   But, I am moving up this report on "The Favourite" as a public service.   If I can save just one person from being subjected to this swill, I will have done my job.   This is a film you must avoid at all costs.  It's the cinematic equivalent of a bathroom on a 747 jetliner after a 14 hour flight.

Of course, you can't tell from all the accolades it is receiving.  There is major Oscar buzz.  It is turning up on Top 10 lists.   I am aghast because I have no idea what these people are seeing.   The director of this mess is some dumb bell named Yorgo Lanthimos and he might as well have filmed one of his own bowel movements.  Whoever this shithead is, he should be shot at dawn without a blindfold and without a cigarette.

It's the early 18th century England and two young maidens are jockeying for the favor of Queen Anne.   Both want to have an "in" with Her Majesty and, by "in," I mean that literally.   Yep, back in this era, there was an awful lot of girl-on-girl action and you see it here on steroids.   The whole production looked like Masterpiece Theater as if it was hosted by Howard Stern.   

Meanwhile, there are enough F bombs and utterances of the "C word" to make even the legendary Lenny Bruce blush.   The more you hear, the more you realize that Lanthimos has some serious psychological issues.   And when "The Favourite" is not being vocally vile, you get to watch multiple instances of characters vomiting.   Either the food offered by Craft Services is that bad or perhaps the actors have been watching the dailies.

The three lead women are Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone, the latter being someone I have generally enjoyed in film up to now.   The trio should be incredibly ashamed of their presence on this set and should all be sent to movie detention for the next two years.  

Oh, there are some guy characters in "The Favourite," too, but they are all depicted as emasculated or castrated or effeminate.   Maybe that's what the film is trying to do.   Show women as the strong and men as the weak.   The ultimate #metoo moment.   Puh-leze.

If that's not enough to keep you one hundred miles away from any theater playing this sewer back-up, there's the soundtrack and the title design of the end credits.  The music ranges from ultra lush to migraine-headache-producing sound effects.   One is a pounding noise that lasts five minutes.   Then if you are curious to see what idiots are responsible for this clogged cinematic sink, try reading the closing credits.   Lanthimos depicts them in this bizarre style that sort of replicates the eye chart at your friendly optometrist's office.   Maybe there's a reason for it.   You can't blame anybody if you can't read their names.

The good news is that I think the average movie goer will not fall for this trickery.   After my showing, I watched people exit, either shaking their heads or appearing incredibly befuddled.   I asked one of the ushers and he told me that's pretty much the way everybody is reacting after a dose of "The Favourite."

Don't.  Don't.  DON'T.   I beg of you.

LEN'S RATING:  A very big ZERO STARS.

Dinner last night:  Leftover pork and sauerkraut.