This Date in History - March 20

Happy birthday, Carl Reiner.  Let me know what time you want me to pick you up.

235:  MAXIMINUS THRAX IS PROCLAIMED EMPEROR.  HE IS THE FIRST FOREIGNER TO HOLD THE ROMAN THRONE.

So, would Maximinus' father's sister be his Aunt Thrax?  On a slow historical news day, that may be the best joke I got today.

1208:  MICHAEL IV AUTOREIANOS IS APPOINTED ECUMENICAL PATRIARCH OF CONSTANTINOPLE.

Told you it was a slow day.  You're going to be digging that "Aunt Thrax" gag any minute now.

1600:  THE LINKOPING BLOODBATH TAKES PLACE ON MAUNDY THURSDAY IN LINKOPING, SWEDEN.

Maundy Thursday?  Wasn't that a Mamas and Papas song?

1602:  THE DUTCH EAST INDIA COMPANY IS ESTABLISHED.

A news day as slow as Adrian Gonzalez.

1616:  SIR WALTER RALEIGH IS FREED FROM THE TOWER OF LONDON AFTER 13 YEARS OF IMPRISONMENT.

That gave him a lot of time to collect those coupons that used to come on the backs of those cigarette packs.

1726:  PHYSICIST DR. ISSAC NEWTON DIES.

Don't sit under the apple tree with anybody else but me.

1760:  THE GREAT FIRE OF BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, DESTROYS 349 BUILDINGS.

And they thought Bobby Valentine was devastating to this city.

1815:  AFTER ESCAPING FROM ELBA, NAPOLEON ENTERS PARIS WITH A REGULAR ARMY OF 140,000 AND A VOLUNTEER FORCE OF AROUND 200,000.

Now that's what I call a "community organizer."

1852:  HARRIET BEECHER STOWE'S "UNCLE TOM'S CABIN" IS PUBLISHED.

Topsy turvy.

1861:  AN EARTHQUAKE COMPLETELY DESTROYS MENDOZA, ARGENTINA.

Talk about your "Mendoza Line."

1903:  ACTOR EDGAR BUCHANAN IS BORN.

And that's Uncle Joe...he's a-moving kind of slow at the Junction.

1906:  NY MAYOR ABE BEAME IS BORN.

Coming up short again.

1906:  ACTOR OZZIE NELSON IS BORN.

Good.  Now Harriet will have somebody to sleep with.

1913:  SUNG CHIAO-JEN, A FOUNDER OF THE CHINESE NATIONALIST PARTY, IS WOUNDED IN AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT AND DIES TWO DAYS LATER.

I will bookmark this factoid when March 25 rolls around for its "Date in History."

1914:  IN NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT, THE FIRST INTERNATIONAL FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIP TAKES PLACE.

And today's historical news slows to a tortoise-like crawl.

1916:  ALBERT EINSTEIN PUBLISHES HIS GENERAL THEORY OF RELATIVITY.

Which states....that your aunt's son is your cousin.

1918:  TV GAME SHOW PRODUCER JACK BARRY IS BORN.

Joker, joker, joker...

1922:  RADIO PERSONALITY RAY GOULDING IS BORN.

Because Bob needed somebody to play off.

1922:  ACTOR/PRODUCER CARL REINER IS BORN.

I had a whole conversation with him once about people who throw paper towels on the floor in a public bathroom.  Hollywood can be so glamorous.

1928:  TV HOST FRED ROGERS IS BORN.

A beautiful day in his neighborhood.

1933:  GIUSEPPE ZANGARA IS EXECUTED IN FLORIDA'S ELECTRIC CHAIR FOR FATALLY SHOOTING ANTON CERMAK IN AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT AGAINST PRESIDENT-ELECT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT.

So if you shoot a President-elect, does that still count?

1935:  ACTOR TED BESSELL IS BORN.

Happy birthday to....That Guy!

1936:  COMEDIAN VAUGHN MEADER IS BORN.

Had a show business career for 1,000 days...or however long JFK was President.

1942:  GENERAL DOUGLAS MACARTHUR MAKES HIS FAMOUS SPEECH REGARDING THE FALL OF THE PHILIPPINES, IN WHICH HE SAYS: "I CAME OUT OF BATAAN AND I SHALL RETURN."

I read this too fast and I thought he said "I came out IN Bataan."  Completely different angle on the story.

1952:  THE UNITED STATES SENATE RATIFIES A PEACE TREATY WITH JAPAN. 

After completely rebuilding the country for them.

1972:  ACTRESS MARILYN MAXWELL DIES.

Bob Hope will need to find somebody else to warm his feet.

1974:  JOURNALIST CHET HUNTLEY DIES.

Smoking does kill.

1985:  LIBBY RIDDLES BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO WIN THE 1,135 MILE IDITAROD TRAIL SLED DOG RACE.

And the slow historical news day hits rock bottom.

1990:  IMELDA MARCOS GOES ON TRIAL FOR BRIBERY, EMBEZZLEMENT, AND RACKETEERING.

Bad shoes should have been added to the list of offenses.

1999:  LEGOLAND CALIFORNIA, THE ONLY LEGOLAND OUTSIDE OF EUROPE, OPENS.

Well, it didn't really open.  It was snapped together.

2010:  POLITICIAN STEWART UDALL DIES.

A hearse U-Haul for Udall.

2015:  A SOLAR ECLIPSE, AN EQUINOX, AND A SUPER MOON ALL HAPPEN ON THE SAME DAY.

Which is news on a slow news day.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chili.