12 BC: THE ROMAN EMPEROR AUGUSTUS IS NAMED PONTIFEX MAXIMUS, INCORPORATING THE POSITION INTO THAT OF THE EMPEROR.
A real Circus Maximus.
961: THE BYZANTINE CONQUEST OF CHANDAX BY NIKEPHOROS PHOKAS AND THE END OF THE EMIRATE OF CRETE.
The alphabet called. They want their letters back.
1521: FERDINAND MAGELLAN ARRIVES AT GUAM.
Used Waze to find it.
1820: THE MISSOURI COMPROMISE IS SIGNED INTO LAW BY PRESIDENT JAMES MONROE. THE COMPROMISE ALLOWS MISSOURI TO ENTER THE UNION AS A SLAVE STATE, BUT MAKES THE REST OF THE NORTHERN PART OF THE LOUISIANA TERRITORY SLAVE-FREE.
Paging Abe Lincoln. Please report to a white security phone.
1836: AFTER A 13 DAY SIEGE BY AN ARMY OF 3,000 MEXICAN TROOPS, THE 187 TEXAS VOLUNTEERS, INCLUDING FRONTIERSMAN DAVY CROCKETT AND JIM BOWIE, DEFENDING THE ALAMO ARE KILLED AND THE FORT IS CAPTURED.
Paging John Wayne. Please report to a red security phone.
1840: THE BALTIMORE COLLEGE OF DENTAL SURGERY OPENS, THE VERY FIRST DENTAL SCHOOL.
Gee, thanks.
1857: THE SUPREME COURT OF THE US RULES IN THE DRED SCOTT VS. SANDFORD CASE.
What did Dred Scott have against Redd Foxx?
1888: AUTHOR LOUISA MAY ALCOTT DIES.
Dead Women.
1899: BAYER REGISTERS ASPIRIN AS A TRADEMARK.
Avoiding a copyright headache.
1906: COMEDIAN LOU COSTELLO IS BORN.
Bud was born eleven years earlier, so he was out first.
1912: THE OREO COOKIE IS INTRODUCED BY NABISCO.
So who was the very first person to take the cookie apart and lick off the icing?
1923: TV PERSONALITY ED MCMAHON IS BORN.
Hi-ho.
1927: ASTRONAUT GORDON COOPER IS BORN.
The first time he came to Earth.
1932: CONDUCTOR JOHN PHILIP SOUSA DIES.
Unlike the stars and stripes, he is not forever.
1936: POLITICIAN MARION BARRY JR IS BORN.
A total dirtbag, but what would you expect with a guy who has a girl's name?
1940: BASEBALL STAR WILLIE STARGELL IS BORN.
He yelled at me once when I was a college sports reporter, so I don't buy all that nice guy stuff.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, COLOGNE IS CAPTURED BY AMERICAN TROOPS.
Spray or splash-on?
1946: HO CHI MINH SIGNS AN AGREEMENT WITH FRANCE, WHICH RECOGNIZES VIETNAM AS AN AUTONOMOUS STATE.
Love his trail, but I never had his trailmix.
1947: ACTOR/DIRECTOR ROB REINER IS BORN.
I've actually seen him more in the past five years than most relatives.
1951: THE TRIAL OF ETHEL AND JULIUS ROSENBERG BEGINS.
Judge Judy presiding.
1964: THE NATION OF ISLAM OFFICIALLY GIVES BOXING CHAMPION CASSIUS CLAY THE NAME MUHAMMAD ALI.
A rose by any other name is still an idiot.
1965: ACTRESS MARGARET DUMONT DIES.
A Day at the Cemetery.
1970: ACTOR WILLIAM HOPPER DIES.
Paul Drake on Perry Mason!
1973: AUTHOR PEARL S. BUCK DIES.
She wrote "The Good Earth." Now under it.
1975: FOR THE FIRST EVER, THE ZAPRUDER FILM OF THE JFK ASSASSINATION IS SHOWN ON TELEVISION.
Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.
1981: NEWSMAN WALTER CRONKITE SIGNS OFF THE CBS EVENING NEWS FOR THE LAST TIME.
And that's the way it was...and you're stuck with it.
1982: AUTHOR AYN RAND DIES.
The Fountainhead is decapitated.
1983: THE FIRST UNITED STATES FOOTBALL LEAGUE GAME IS PLAYED.
And nobody still cares.
1992: THE MICHELANGELO COMPUTER VIRUS BEGINS TO AFFECT COMPUTERS.
(*&^#^&$*)h$hgjhgyry^r^r^^uutfhjyo*yo*ty*ti&hghfgdhdbnbngiuty^dt.
2005: ACTRESS TERESA WRIGHT DIES.
Not the Best Year of Her Life.
2006: BASEBALL STAR KIRBY PUCKETT DIES.
No more outfield wall collisions in his future.
2006: ACTRESS DANA REEVE DIES.
Unlike her lummox of a husband, she did not fall off a horse.
2014: DR. FRANK JOBE DIES.
Tommy John surgery doesn't solve everything.
2014: ACTRESS SHEILA MCRAE DIES.
The Alice Kramden nobody liked.
2016: NANCY REAGAN DIES.
She just couldn't say no.
2017: TV HOST ROBERT OSBORNE DIES.
No more TCM Conversations With...
Dinner last night: Leftover beef chili.
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