69: OTHO SEIZES POWER IN ROME, PROCLAIMING HIMSELF EMPEROR OF ROME, BUT RULES FOR ONLY THREE MONTHS BEFORE COMMITTING SUICIDE.
So, Otho, it wasn't what you thought, heh?
1493: CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS SETS SAIL FOR SPAIN, ENDING HIS TRIP TO THE NEW WORLD.
That must have racked up some hotel bill.
1559: ELIZABETH I IS CROWNED QUEEN OF ENGLAND IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY OF LONDON.
Elizabeth the Originator.
1759: THE BRITISH MUSEUM OPENS.
Finally giving British school children some place to go on a field trip.
1777: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, NEW CONNECTICUT DECLARES ITS INDEPENDENCE. IT LATER BECOMES VERMONT.
And Old Connecticut can now just be regular Connecticut.
1782: SUPERINTENDENT OF FINANCE ROBERT MORRIS GOES BEFORE THE US CONGRESS TO RECOMMEND ESTABLISHMENT OF A NATIONAL MINT AND COINAGE.
So this is the idiot who invented the penny???
1822: DURING THE GREEK WAR OF INDEPENDENCE, DEMETRIOS YPSILANTIS IS ELECTED PRESIDENT.
And later opens up a diner on Northern Boulevard in Queens.
1844: THE UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME RECEIVES ITS CHARTER FROM THE STATE OF INDIANA.
Regis Philbin was there for the signing.
1870: A POLITICAL CARTOON FOR THE FIRST TIME SYMBOLIZES THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY WITH A DONKEY.
And they remain jackasses to this day.
1889: THE COCA COLA COMPANY IS INCORPORATED IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA.
The incorporation that refreshes.
1892: JAMES NAISMITH PUBLISHES THE RULES OF BASKETBALL.
There are rules??
1908: THE ALPHA KAPPA ALPHA SORORITY BECOMES THE FIRST GREEK LETTER ORGANIZATION FOUNDED BY AFRICAN AMERICAN COLLEGE WOMEN.
I have five different jokes. Please e-mail me privately for specifics.
1909: DRUMMER GENE KRUPA IS BORN.
Hey, knock off that racket!!
1913: ACTOR LLOYD BRIDGES IS BORN.
I guess I picked the wrong day to come down a birth canal.
1919: A LARGE MOLASSES TANK IN BOSTON EXPLODES AND A WAVE OF MOLASSES RUSHES THROUGH THE STREET, KILLING 21 PEOPLE.
Who apparently were slower than to get out of the way.
1927: ACTRESS PHYLLIS COATES IS BORN.
The other Lois Lane.
1929: ACTIVIST MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. IS BORN.
And now everybody has a Monday off in January.
1937: ACTRESS MARGARET O'BRIEN IS BORN.
Meet us at the fair.
1943: THE PENTAGON IS DEDICATED IN ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA.
It was the world's largest office building. Amazing for a place that is not a skycraper.
1947: THE BRUTALIZED CORPSE OF ELIZABETH SHORT (THE BLACK DAHLIA) IS FOUND IN LOS ANGELES.
Paging Lt. Columbo....
1962: THE DERVENI PAPYRUS, EUROPE'S OLDEST SURVIVING MANUSCRIPT, IS FOUND IN NORTHERN GREECE.
Now that's something to sell on E-bay.
1967: THE FIRST SUPER BOWL IS PLAYED IN LOS ANGELES. THE GREEN BAY PACKERS DEFEAT THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS, 35-10.
Back then, there was absolutely no pre-game hype.
1970: MOAMMAR GADHAFI IS PROCLAIMED PREMIER OF LIBYA.
If they insist...
1973: CITING PROGRESS IN PEACE NEGOTIATIONS, PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON ANNOUNCES THE SUSPENSION OF OFFENSIVE ACTION IN NORTH VIETNAM.
As if the offense was doing any good.
1976: GERALD FORD'S WOULD-BE ASSASSIN, SARA JANE MOORE, IS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON.
That's one off the streets.
1987: ACTOR RAY BOLGER DIES.
The last straw.
2001: WIKIPEDIA GOES ONLINE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
Thank God. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do these Wednesday historical pieces.
2005: ACTRESS RUTH WARRICK DIES.
All My Corpses.
2009: US AIRWAYS FLIGHT 1549 MAKES AN EMERGENCY LANDING IN THE HUDSON RIVER. EVERYBODY SURVIVES.
To this day, Sully is still the ultimate hero.
2019: ACTRESS CAROL CHANNING DIES.
Goodbye, Dolly.
Dinner last night: Leftover meat loaf.
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