What memories are at the multiplexes this weekend? Actually, in light of America's shutdown, none. But let's pretend that we can go out and see a movie. You know the drill, gang. I'll saunter through the movie pages of the LA Times and give you my knee jerk reaction to what's on those silver screens. I'm thinking we all might be marooned. At home.
Oh, and on second glance, "Marooned" played at the wonderful Egyptian Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. Perhaps the folks there will screen it this year some time. Well, actually, they're not screening anything at the moment. Coronavirus, you know.
A Quiet Place, Part 2: I loved the first one, but can't figure out how they could squeeze another movie out of this. And, realistically, any theater playing it might be a quiet place indeed. Coronavirus, you know.
Never Rarely Sometimes Always: Well, that covers it all really.
The Roads Not Taken: I thought Bob Hope and Bing Crosby used all of them.
The Burnt Orange Heresy: Way too much to say when somebody asks you what movie you just saw.
Emma: Saw the trailer and..................zzzzzzzzZZZZ.
First Cow: Wasn't that Elsie of the Borden's Milk company?
The Way Back: Ben Affleck deals with alcoholism and being a basketball coach. At the same time?
Hope Gap: Annette Bening and Bill Nighy play a couple that has lost its way after 29 years of marriage. Don't they all?
Portrait of a Lady On Fire: France, 1770. Marianne, a painter, is commissioned to do the wedding portrait of Héloïse, a young woman who has just left the convent. This movie has my name all over it. Not.
Onward: Have we previously discussed the fact that I am generally bored with most Pixar movies??
Greed: I have no idea, except this is not to be confused with the 1924 silent movie of the same name that starred Zasu Pitts.
The Invisible Man: Given the box office receipts as a result of the current health scare...well, you finish the joke.
The Climb: Two best buds feud when one sleeps with the other's fiancee. So that kind of stuff is off limits? Good to know.
The Etruscan Smile: Brian Cox as a Scotsman trying to connect with his estranged son. Haven't we seen that...like...a thousand other times??
Hooking Up: A female sex addict connects with a guy who's got testicular cancer. Yep, folks, that's the elevator pitch.
Human Capital: A young romance is marred by a tragic accident. That's all I got.
International Falls: Two stand-up comics are stranded in a snowstorm. With a rabbi, a priest, and a farmer's daughter?
Phoenix, Oregon: Two pals open up a pizza parlor in a bowling alley. How's that for enticement to see the movie?
The Truth: I see Catherine Deneuve listed in the cast. So, I guess, if you're a fan of Catherine Deneuve and you bring your hand sanitizer...
Swallow: A young housewife in a seemingly perfect marriage develops pica, the irresistible urge to ingest inedible objects and material. I find that hard to...well...swallow.
I Still Believe: The true story of Christian music star Jeremy Camp and his journey of love and loss. Who???
Big Time Adolescence: A drug-dealing college dropout becomes a mentor to his best friend -- a straight-laced teen who idolizes him. Strictly for the younger crowd who only knows how to communicate with emojis.
Bloodshot: Vin Diesel stars, which mean I will be keeping my social distance away.
The Hunt: Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don't know where they are -- or how they got there. Hmm, that's called the New York City subway system.
Extra Ordinary: A woman who has supernatural abilities must save a possessed girl. Um, you could watch "The Exorcist" instead as a tribute to the late Max Von Sydow.
Dinner last night: Spaghetti and meat balls.
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