37: THE ROMAN SENATE ANNULS TIBERIUS' WILL AND PROCLAIMS CALIGULA EMPEROR.
Okay, now the fun begins.
633: THE ARABIAN PENINSULA IS UNITED UNDER THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY OF CALIPH ABU BAKR.
Good. I was worried.
1229: FREDERICK II, HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR, DECLARES HIMSELF KING OF JERUSALEM IN THE SIXTH CRUSADE.
And later he calls himself the Duke of Earl.
1314: JACQUES DE MOLAY, THE LAST GRAND MASTER OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR, IS BURNED AT THE STAKE.
I hope they used a good brand of olive oil.
1438: ALBERT II OF HABSBURG BECOMES HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR.
But we won't be as much fun as Caligula.
1608: SUSENYOS IS FORMALLY CROWNED EMPEROR OF ETHIOPIA.
Susenyos? Wasn't that a Phil Collins song?
1741: NEW YORK GOVERNOR GEORGE CLARKE'S COMPLEX AT FORT GEORGE IN BURNED IN AN ARSON ATTACK, STARTING THE NEW YORK CONSPIRACY OF 1741.
There's no conspiracy. I just wish all these people weren't against me.
1766: THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT REPEALS THE STAMP ACT.
Forcing everybody to deliver their letters in person.
1848: IN BERLIN, THERE IS A STRUGGLE BETWEEN CITIZENS AND MILITARY, COSTING ABOUT 300 LIVES.
That's a little more than a struggle in my book.
1850: AMERICAN EXPRESS IS FOUNDED BY HENRY WELLS AND WILLIAM FARGO.
Don't leave home without them.
1865: DURING THE CIVIL WAR, THE CONGRESS OF THE CONFEDERATE STATES ADJOURNS FOR THE LAST TIME.
Last one out, please shut off the lights.
1886: ACTOR EDWARD EVERETT HORTON IS BORN.
Mrs.Horton Has a What?
1892: FORMER GOVERNOR GENERAL LORD STANLEY PLEDGES TO DONATE A SILVER CHALLENGE CUP AS AN AWARD FOR THE BEST HOCKEY TEAM IN CANADA.
Little did he know that some players would be peeing in it 100 years later.
1915: DURING WORLD WAR I, THREE BATTLESHIPS ARE SUNK DURING A FAILED BRITISH AND FRENCH NAVAL ATTACK.
I used to re-enact this in the bathtub when I was a kid.
1922: IN INDIA, MOHANDAS GANDHI IS SENTENCED TO SIX YEARS IN PRISON FOR CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE.
Going, going, Gandhi.
1926: ACTOR PETER GRAVES IS BORN.
He dies in 2010. No, wait, he self-destructs.
1927: AUTHOR GEORGE PLIMPTON IS BORN.
I never quite knew what this guy wrote.
1940: ADOLF HITLER AND BENITO MUSSOLINI MEET AT THE BRENNER PASS IN THE ALPS AND AGREE TO FROM AN ALLIANCE AGAINST FRANCE AND ENGLAND.
Such a sinister act to have over a nice cup of Ovaltine,
1942: THE WAR RELOCATION AUTHORITY IS ESTABLISHED IN THE US TO TAKE JAPANESE AMERICANS INTO CUSTODY.
Relocation is a nice way to say "internment."
1943: ACTOR KEVIN DOBSON IS BORN.
Every Thursday night at 10PM for over twelve years, this guy was one of my heroes.
1944: THE ERUPTION OF MOUNT VESUVIUS IN ITALY KILLS 26 PEOPLE AND CAUSES THOUSANDS TO FLEE THEIR HOMES.
I guess you can't blame them.
1945: OVER 1,200 AMERICAN BOMBERS ATTACK BERLIN.
Finally.
1959: PRESIDENT DWIGHT EISENHOWER SIGNS A BILL INTO LAW ALLOWING FOR HAWAIIAN STATEHOOD.
Aloha.
1970: THE US POSTAL STRIKE OF 1970 BEGINS, ONE OF THE LARGEST WILDCAT STRIKES IN US HISTORY.
I think my mailman, who shows up after 6PM most days, must still think he's on the picket line.
1990: GERMANS VOTE IN THE FIRST DEMOCRATIC ELECTIONS IN THE FORMER COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP.
Can somebody show me how to pull this lever?
1992: IN A NATIONAL REFERENDUM, WHITE SOUTH AFRICANS VOTE OVERWHELMINGLY TO END THE RACIST POLICY OF APARTHEID.
Would they do the same thing if they knew Al Sharpton?
2001: SINGER JOHN PHILLIPS DIES.
All my leaves are brown...and my face is pale.
2009: ACTRESS NATASHA RICHARDSON DIES.
Reason # 77 why people over 40 should not ski.
2010: ACTOR FESS PARKER DIES.
That raccoon wants his skin back.
2017: MUSICIAN CHUCK BERRY DIES.
Rock and Roll now fatherless.
Dinner last night: Leftover lasagna.
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