1278: LADISLAUS IV OF HUNGARY AND RUDOLF I OF GERMANY DEFEAT OTTOKAR II OF BOHEMIA IN THE BATTLE OF THE MARCHFELD.
Ottokar? Isn't that a ride at Disneyland?
1346: THE HUNDRED YEARS' WAR - THE MILITARY SUPREMACY OF THE ENGLISH LONGBOW OVER THE FRENCH COMBINATION OF CROSSBOW AND ARMOURED KNIGHTS IS ESTABLISHED BY THE BATTLE OF CRECY.
So far, this is shaping up as a boring day in history.
1466: A CONSPIRACY AGAINST PIERO DI COSIMO DE MEDICI IN FLORENCE, LED BY LUCA PITTI, IS DISCOVERED.
Such a pitti.
1498: MICHELANGELO IS COMMISSIONED TO CARVE THE PIETA.
And later the turkey on Thanksgiving.
1748: THE FIRST LUTHERAN DENOMINATION IN NORTH AMERICA IS FOUNDED IN PHILADELPHIA.
Good. I have some place to go on Sundays.
1768: CAPTAIN JAMES COOK SETS SAIL FROM ENGLAND ON BOARD HMS ENDEAVOUR.
Later they sent this boat up to space?
1789: THE DECLARATION OF THE RIGHTS OF MAN AND OF THE CITIZEN IS APPROVED BY THE NATIONAL CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY OF FRANCE.
This day in history? Still boring.
1791: JOHN FITCH IS GRANTED A UNITED STATE PATENT FOR THE STEAMBOAT.
I thought this was Robert Fulton and not the guy who later partnered on clothing with Abercrombie.
1821: THE UNIVERSITY OF BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA, IS OFFICIALLY OPENED.
What time does the book store open?
1883: THE ERUPTION OF KRAKATOA BEGINS ITS FINAL, PAROXYSMAL, STAGE.
Doesn't that sound dirty?
1909: ACTOR JIM DAVIS IS BORN.
Jock Ewing!
1910: MOTHER TERESA IS BORN.
She died in 1997 and they carted her body around for a couple of weeks or so.
1914: WORLD WAR I - THE GERMAN COLONY OF TOGOLAND SURRENDERS TO FRENCH AND BRITISH FORCES AFTER A 20 DAY CAMPAIGN.
Out in LA, Togoland is a sandwich shop.
1920: THE 19TH AMENDMENT TO THE US CONSTITUTION TAKES EFFECT, GIVING WOMEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE.
As long as the ironing is done. Okay, that's a joke and not my real belief.
1930: ACTOR LON CHANEY DIES.
The man of a thousand faces.
1935: POLITICIAN GERALDINE FERRARO IS BORN.
I sat behind her on a flight to NY the day Elliott Spitzer got in trouble. Her Black Berry at Baggage Claim was buzzing like a bee hive.
1944: WORLD WAR II - CHARLES DE GAULLE ENTERS PARIS.
This is news?
1970: THE NEW FEMINIST MOVEMENT, LED BY BETTY FRIEDAN, LEADS A NATIONWIDE WOMEN'S STRIKE FOR EQUALITY.
Jeez, you can vote now. What else do you want? Okay, again, that's a joke and not my real belief.
1974: PILOT CHARLES LINDBERGH DIES.
Dirtbag.
1977: THE CHARTER OF THE FRENCH LANGUAGE IS ADOPTED BY THE NATIONAL ASSEMBLY OF QUEBEC.
Still bored by this date.
1978: ALBINO LUCIANI IS ELECTED AS POPE JOHN PAUL I.
Don't get too attached, folks.
1978: ACTOR CHARLES BOYER DIES.
Killed himself two days after his wife died.
1980: ACTOR MACAULAY CULKIN IS BORN.
He's still with us. His career, however, is not.
1986: ACTOR TED KNIGHT DIES.
Sad. He appeared on an episode of my college radio sitcom.
2009: AUTHOR DOMINICK DUNNE DIES.
He never got over that OJ Simpson verdict.
2011: THE BOEING 787 DREAMLINER RECEIVES CERTIFICATION FROM THE FAA.
Upgrade please.
2018: PLAYWRIGHT NEIL SIMON DIES.
No joke on this one. Guy was a friggin' genius.
Dinner last night: Chopped salad.
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