Birthdays In The Age of Social Media

 

Yes, today is mine but this is not an invitation to get greetings.   Nope, today's epistle is about how birthdays have changed for all of us.   

And not in a good way.

I used to make a big deal about somebody's latest trip around the sun.  In some ways with some people, I still do.  I'm one of those goofballs who still buys a greeting card and sticks a stamp on the envelope.  I will make a point of calling folks on the phone for a vocal and more intimate greeting.  I will also make sure to know that a person has special plans to celebrate their birthday.  There is nothing worse than spending your own personal Christmas by yourself.

That is me.   And that used to be the way friends dealt with my birthday as well.

Used to be.

In recent years, I have gotten maybe five cards tops.   Phone calls....hardly.   And except for one friend who regularly makes sure I am going out for a nice meal, there is hardly any other celebration.

I used to think that this had something to do with me.   Or the caliber of people in my life.   But it's not any of that.

Nope, you can blame these lackadaisical approaches to birthdays on social media.

Sadly, Facebook has changed it all and not for the better.   There is little or no effort expended by people to celebrate birthdays.   Let's face it.   You sign on your computer and Facebook tells you who on your list has a birthday that day.   You click over and write a short message.   If you're feeling creative, you might have a standardized cartoon or meme in your directory.

Done.

No greeting card with personal message.

No phone call.

No nothing.

Unfortunately, I have gotten swept into this nonsense as well.   I have received birthday reminders for people I went to high school or college with or shared a Xerox machine at some entry level job we shared.   Except for this annual ritual on Facebook, I have had no contact with any of them for decades.  In some cases, I don't want to.   I lament how the hell I allowed myself to get connected with them on Facebook as a "friend."  But, it could be worse.   I actually know people who are Facebook friends with people they have never met.

What a dichotomy.   So connected and yet so isolated and removed.

So, since birthdays are now celebrated almost exclusively on Facebook, there is another element we must all deal with it.   After fielding all the greetings, you have to compose something in return as a thank you.  It's the yearly chore of trying to be thankful and clever at the same time.   More writing that I am not getting paid for.   

What irks me even further is the latest Facebook trend to set up charity funds for your birthday.

"This year, for my birthday, I would like you to contribute X dollars to Y charity."

If I did that every time I got such a request, I would be having frequent meetings with my local loan shark.  

If you're a true friend that I regularly communicate with,  I will consider that donation.   But if I haven't had a word or a meal with you since Bill Clinton was a faithful husband....forget it.

Once again, I return to a better day and time and person.   I will continue sending cards to special friends.   And calling them.   And maybe even buy them a meal.   

Back in the day when new technology was nothing but an exhibit at Disneyland.

Dinner last night:  Salad.