This Date in History - March 27

 

It's a slow birth date in history, which is why I'm stuck saluting idiot Quentin Tarantino.  But, wait till you see who all died on March 27, 2002!

196 BC:  PTOLEMY V ASCENDS TO THE THRONE OF EGYPT.

Did he invent ptomaine poisoning?  Seems logical.

1309:  POPE CLEMENT IMPOSES EXCOMMUNICATION, INTERDICTION, AND A GENERAL PROHIBITION OF ALL COMMERCIAL INTERCOURSE AGAINST VENICE.

So, no intercourse in Venice?  Well, there goes that bloodline.

1329:  POPE JOHN XXII ISSUES HIS "IN AGRO DOMINICO" CONDEMNING SOME WRITINGS OF MEISTER ECKHART AS HERETICAL.  

Meister Eckhart?  Didn't he become commissioner of baseball later on?

1625:  CHARLES I BECOMES KING OF ENGLAND, SCOTLAND, AND IRELAND AS WELL AS CLAIMING THE TITLE KING OF FRANCE.

Talk about being pushy.

1794:  THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT ESTABLISHES A PERMANENT NAVY AND AUTHORIZES THE BUILDING OF SIX FRIGATES.

Oh, what the frigate.

1814:  DURING THE WAR OF 1812, US FORCES UNDER GENERAL ANDREW JACKSON DEFEAT THE CREEK AT THE BATTLE OF HORSESHOE BEND.

I must have missed this battle in eleventh-grade American History with Miss Castriota.

1851:  FIRST REPORTED SIGHTING OF THE YOSEMITE VALLEY BY EUROPEANS.

Is this before Sarah Palin saw Russia from her backyard?

1879:  YANKEE MANAGER MILLER HUGGINS IS BORN.

No, his middle name wasn't "Light."

1881:  RIOTING TAKES PLACE IN BASINGSTOKE IN PROTEST AGAINST THE DAILY VOCIFEROUS PROMOTION OF RIGID TEMPERANCE BY THE SALVATION ARMY.

Now I'm sorry I put all those dimes in the bucket.

1884:  A MOB IN CINCINNATI, OHIO, ATTACKS MEMBERS OF A JURY WHO HAD RETURNED A VERDICT OF MANSLAUGHTER IN A CLEAR CASE OF MURDER.  THEY WOULD LATER RIOT AND DESTROY THE COURTHOUSE.

Paging Fred Goldman.

1886: APACHE WARRIOR GERONIMO SURRENDERS TO THE US ARMY.

You can stop jumping now.

1899:  ACTRESS GLORIA SWANSON IS BORN.

"I wasn't a big baby.  It's just the womb that was smaller."

1915:  TYPHOID MARY, THE FIRST HEALTHY CARRIER OF DISEASE EVER IDENTIFIED IN THE UNITED STATES, IS PUT IN QUARANTINE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

So no Match.com for her.

1931:  ACTOR DAVID JANSSEN IS BORN.

Let the manhunt begin.

1945:  DURING WORLD WAR II, OPERATION STARVATION, THE AERIAL MINING OF JAPAN'S PORTS AND WATERWAYS, BEGINS.

Effectively shutting down the import of ramen noodles.

1948:  THE SECOND CONGRESS OF THE WORKERS PARTY OF NORTH KOREA IS CONVENED.

Workers Party, ha!  They're Communists.

1958:  NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV BECOMES PREMIER OF THE SOVIET UNION.

Shoebanging will commence shortly.

1963:  DIRECTOR QUENTIN TARANTINO IS BORN.

Asshole Unchained.

1968:  RUSSIAN ASTRONAUT YURI GAGARIN DIES.

He, at least, outlived a couple of those chimps.

1976:  THE FIRST 4.6 MILES OF THE WASHINGTON METRO SUBWAY SYSTEM OPENS.

As if any members of Congress would be caught dead on it.

1977:  ACTRESS DIANA HYLAND DIES.

Apparently, Forty-One is Enough.

1981:  THE SOLIDARITY MOVEMENT IN POLAND STAGES A STRIKE, IN WHICH AT LEAST 12 MILLION POLES WALK OFF THEIR JOBS FOR FOUR HOURS.

The workers on top of a skyscraper walked off as well, which, of course, is your typical Polish joke.

1993:  ITALIAN FORMER MINISTER AND DEMOCRACY LEADER GIULI ANDREOTTI IS ACCUSED OF MAFIA ALLEGIANCE.

Surprised??  Anybody???

1998:  THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION APPROVES VIAGRA FOR AS A TREATMENT FOR MALE IMPOTENCE.

Up, up, and away.

2002:  COMIC MILTON BERLE DIES.

Glad Uncle Milty got to use that Viagra.  Meanwhile, here comes an amazing fatal hat trick.

2002:  ACTOR DUDLEY MOORE DIES.

Coming up short.

2002:  DIRECTOR BILLY WILDER DIES.

He lived across the street from me at the time and I do remember the hearse showing up.  Meanwhile, no jokes from me on Billy.  A genius.

2006:  TV PRODUCER DAN CURTIS DIES.

Now how dark are those shadows?

2011:  ACTOR FARLEY GRANGER DIES.

Last stop for that train, stranger.

2016:  MOTHER ANGELICA DIES.

That nutty TV nun.  The one that couldn't fly.

Dinner last night:  Leftover chicken parmagiana.