This Date in History - May 22

 

Happy birthday, Barbara Parkins.  Talk about the first women to jumpstart your hormones.  Here's one who did that for me.

334 BC:  THE MACEDONIAN ARMY OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT DEFEATS DARIUS III OF PERSIA.

There were three Darius' in Persia.  There were only two on Bewitched.

853:  A BYZANTINE FLEET SACKS AND DESTROYS UNDEFENDED DAMIETTA IN EGYPT.

Undefended?  The first ever incidence of bullying recorded in history.

1176:  THE HASHSHASHIN ATTEMPT TO MURDER SALADIN NEAR ALEPPO.

The Hashshashin should get addicted on hashish.  Then say that five times fast.

1200:  KING JOHN OF ENGLAND AND KING PHILIP II OF FRANCE SIGN THE TREATY OF LE GOULET.

Did Carol Lawrence know about this?

1377:  POPE GREGORY XI ISSUES FIVE PAPAL BULLS TO DENOUNCE THE DOCTRINES OF THEOLOGIAN JOHN WYCLIFFE.

And that's no.....okay, you finish the line.

1762:  SWEDEN AND PRUSSIA SIGN THE TREATY OF HAMBURG.

With onions and relish.

1802:  FIRST LADY MARTHA WASHINGTON DIES.

She and hubby shared wigs and doubled their wardrobe.

1807:  A GRAND JURY INDICTS FORMER VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES AARON BURR ON A CHARGE OF TREASON.

Which is why you don't see Aaron Burr's photo on any currency.

1816:  A MOB IN CAMBRIDGESHIRE, ENGLAND, RIOTS OVER HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT.

And this is new how?

1826:  HMS BEAGLE DEPARTS ON ITS FIRST VOYAGE.

My favorite breed of dog.  Just saying.

1849:  POLITICIAN LOUIS PERRIER IS BORN.

Insert your favorite sparkling water joke here.

1859:  AUTHOR SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE IS BORN.

I have read every single Sherlock Holmes book he wrote.  Just saying.

1863:  DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, UNION FORCES LAY SIEGE TO THE CONFEDERATE-CONTROLLED PORT HUDSON, LOUISIANA.

For a war that lasted only four years, there sure were a lot of important battle places.

1885:  AUTHOR VICTOR HUGO DIES.

The guy who wrote about the seedy part of France.  Oh, wait, all of France is seedy.

1906:  THE WRIGHT BROTHERS ARE GRANTED A US PATENT FOR THEIR FLYING MACHINE.

Those magnificent men.

1907:  SIR LAURENCE OLIVIER IS BORN.

He was married to Vivien Leigh.  No dummy was he.

1910:  TV ANNOUNCER JOHNNY OLSON IS BORN.

Come on down!

1922:  TV PRODUCER QUINN MARTIN IS BORN.

A Mother Martin Production.

1924:  SINGER CHARLES AZNAVOUR IS BORN.

And he's still alive so I guess it's true what they say about drinking lots of wine.

1926:  CHIANG KAI-SHEK REPLACES COMMUNISTS IN KUOMINTANG CHINA.

Replaced them with what?

1927"  ACTOR MICHAEL CONSTANTINE IS BORN.

Room 222!

1930:  POLITICIAN HARVEY MILK IS BORN.

His expiration date was 1978.

1938:  ACTOR RICHARD BENJAMIN IS BORN.

One of those celebrities that I constantly see all over town.  

1939:  GERMANY AND ITALY SIGN THE PACT OF STEEL.

Unholy alliance indeed.

1942:  ACTRESS BARBARA PARKINS IS BORN.

What time does the bus leave for Peyton Place?

1942:  MEXICO ENTERS WORLD WAR II ON THE SIDE OF THE ALLIES.

I didn't know that leaf blowers were considered weapons.

1942:  TED WILLIAMS OF THE BOSTON RED SOX ENLISTS IN THE US MARINES.

I can't wait for that intra-barracks softball game.

1943:  BASEBALL PLAYER TOMMY JOHN IS BORN.

And yet he's better known for having surgery.

1947:  US PRESIDENT HARRY TRUMAN SIGNS AN ANTI-COMMUNISM ACT INTO LAW THAT WILL LATER BE CALLED THE TRUMAN DOCTRINE.

And what else would you have called that doctrine??

1960:  AN EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 9.5 HITS SOUTHERN CHILE.  IT IS THE MOST POWERFUL EARTHQUAKE EVER RECORDED.

Chile?  Total property damage:  $4,57.

1961:  ACTRESS JOAN DAVIS DIES.

I Buried Joan.

1964:  US PRESIDENT LYNDON JOHNSON ANNOUNCES THE GOALS OF HIS GREAT SOCIETY TO BRING AN END TO POVERTY AND RACIAL INJUSTICE IN AMERICA.

A society that has yet to get past the level of mediocre.

1969:  APOLLO 10'S LUNAR MODULE FLIES WITHIN 8.4 MILES OF THE MOON'S SURFACE.

Close, but not yet a giant step for mankind.

1972:  ACTRESS MARGARET RUTHERFORD DIES.

Solve this, Miss Marple.

1975:  BASEBALL PLAYER LEFTY GROVE DIES.

I don't have a single funny thing to say about that.

1980:  PAC-MAN VIDEO GAME IS RELEASED.

And there goes the attention span of millions of children,.

1990:  MICROSOFT RELEASES WINDOWS 3.0.

And what number are we up to now?

1990:  BOXER ROCKY GRAZIANO DIES.

Now he'll get to meet the somebody up there that likes him.

1992:  AFTER 30 YEARS, JOHNNY CARSON HOSTS THE TONIGHT SHOW FOR THE LAST TIME.

One of the sadder days of my life.

1998:  ACTOR JOHN DEREK DIES.

A line forms for those making condolence calls to the widow.

1998:  A FEDERAL JUDGE RULES THAT US SECRET SERVICE AGENTS CAN BE COMPELLED TO TESTIFY BEFORE A GRAND JURY CONCERNING THE MONICA LEWINSKY SCANDAL.

Was this big news at one time?

2001:  ACTOR WHITMAN MAYO DIES.

Held.

2002:  IN WASHINGTON DC, THE REMAINS OF THE MISSING CHANDRA LEVY ARE FOUND.

Which means she's no longer missing.

2003:  IN FORT WORTH, TEXAS, ANNIKA SORENSTAM BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO PLAY THE PGA TOUR IN 58 YEARS.

I thought that was Dinah Shore.

2017:  22 PEOPLE ARE KILLED AT AN ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT IN MANCHESTER, ENGLAND.

Stubhub didn't warn us about this.

2017:  US PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP VISITS THE CHURCH OF THE HOLY SEPULCHRE IN JERUSALEM AND BECOMES THE FIRST SITTING PRESIDENT TO VISIT THE WESTERN WALL.

Although there were a few who did it while standing.

Dinner last night:  Chicken salad.